December 2nd, 2016
I have been rummaging through magazines to find an article I read last week. We get these free magazines and, for whatever reason, I can't seem to find this article. The topic of the article was a new pill for women. It was compared to viagra for men. Instead of promising erections, this pill attempted to increase libido in women. Apparently, lots of women don't want to have sex. However, if we consider the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, I would think it's more about having good sex.
I read the statistics regarding the effectiveness of this drug. Not only did it not work on just less than 50% of the women but it wasn't a pill you pop on the day itself, you have to take it daily. Really? You take a pill every day so that on a given day you may feel like having sex with your partner?
Women's libido is connected to their associations with sexuality. Are they anticipating satisfaction or disappointment? Are they expecting to receive or only give? Does their partner desire them? Do they feel excited by their partner? Do they enjoy an intimate relationship? Will they take their time or rush through it in order to watch their favourite show?
Why don't we check out the cause of women's lack of libido? If you never feel in the mood, there could be an underlying physical cause such as a change in hormones, vaginal dryness or fatigue. However, if you fantasize about sex with other men, chances are you just need to work on igniting the passion in your relationship. How do you do that?
1-Are you pissed off or feeling neglected? Talk about it. Get it out in the open. Once the issue is resolved, you can partake in make-up sex.
2-Do you know what turns you on? If you haven't found your sweet spots and you avoid looking at or exploring your anatomy below the belt, a tour is long overdue. Use a mirror to look at your genitals. Experiment with different touches and see what turns you on. Are you clitoral or vaginal? Get yourself some toys if you'd like. Once you know what sets you off, you can share this information with your partner.
3-Stimulate your imagination. Sometimes, people get bored with each other. Have sex in different locations, at unusual times, role-play, pretend it's your first time, dress-up, read erotic poetry to each other or tell each other what you are about to do tin order o create anticipation. If you like food, include it in your ritual.
I firmly believe that most women don't need a pill to increase their libido. They need to be seduced, desired and followed by foreplay. Taking a pill to desire an act that is not enjoyable doesn't increase libido, just frustration.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label libido. Show all posts
Showing posts with label libido. Show all posts
Friday, 2 December 2016
Thursday, 10 March 2016
Sex is like Wine: It gets better with age
March 8th, 2016
When I was teaching a course called, Recreation for Older Adults, I spent some time going over misconceptions about older adults. Young college students believed older adults are not sexual. They are kindly old people who tell stories and bake apple pies. We discussed these misconceptions to get our facts straight and, by the end of that first class, students were looking at their elders in a whole different way.
If you have worked with older adults, chances are you learned very quickly that their sex drive is NOT dead. In my first week working in long term care, I had my bottom pinched and slapped, male residents gave me compliments and asked me if I was married, they joked about the kinds of services they wanted and, they stared at my breasts while I fed them at lunch time. The ladies on my unit would fight over any new male resident. They would buy sweets at the coffee shop for him, they wore their best outfits and, I noticed the lipstick and blush making a sudden appearance. The ladies would head over to the male resident early to chat with him before the others had a chance. It was game on!
The data supports my statement that sex gets better with age. When you are young, you are still learning the basics about how your bits work. You are experimenting which is exciting but your partner is experimenting too so there's some hits and misses. If you are like most young women, you are focused on how you look: Does this thong make my butt look big? You are also wondering if the guy you are with likes you a little or a lot, as much as you want him to like you. During sex, you may be so precoccupied with making him feel good that you forget about your own needs. In movies, you see women who cum on command. The guy pulls down her undies and he's in. She instantly moans and has a mind-blowing orgasm. Really?
As you age, you have more knowledge about your body. You know what sets you off and you can guide your partner or do it yourself. Once you've reached menopause or you've had your tubes tied or your husband has had a vasectomy, you can enjoy sex without worrying about getting pregnant. When you are in a long term relationship, you feel connected to your partner, you trust and love each other, this adds intimacy to your sexual encounters. There is a peak in libido for women in midlife which means your husband will get more than he bargained for but I don't think he'll complain. Also, it takes longer for men to get hard and they can last longer. We've all experienced sex with a young adult who is so excited to be having sex that he ejaculates right out of the gate. Bummer! Older men can give you more bang for your buck which means you are not rushing to cum before he does.
Having sex is very healthy. Your blood is flowing through your body, including your all-important brain, your muscles get a workout and your heart is pumping hard. Your vagina also stays lubricated and flexible for future use if it is getting some action on a regular basis. You feel alive, vibrant and sexy into old age while maintaining a level of intimacy with your partner (instead of becoming Ernie and Bert). So we all need to stop treating older adults like they have no sex life. Media should portray the elderly in a more realistic light and we need to be living according to our own needs, not trying to live up to some external expectation: cut your hair, wear modest clothing and sensible shoes etc.. Boring!!!
I love meeting women who are older, vibrant, healthy, active and enjoying their life. That's the way I plan to age. What about you?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
When I was teaching a course called, Recreation for Older Adults, I spent some time going over misconceptions about older adults. Young college students believed older adults are not sexual. They are kindly old people who tell stories and bake apple pies. We discussed these misconceptions to get our facts straight and, by the end of that first class, students were looking at their elders in a whole different way.
If you have worked with older adults, chances are you learned very quickly that their sex drive is NOT dead. In my first week working in long term care, I had my bottom pinched and slapped, male residents gave me compliments and asked me if I was married, they joked about the kinds of services they wanted and, they stared at my breasts while I fed them at lunch time. The ladies on my unit would fight over any new male resident. They would buy sweets at the coffee shop for him, they wore their best outfits and, I noticed the lipstick and blush making a sudden appearance. The ladies would head over to the male resident early to chat with him before the others had a chance. It was game on!
The data supports my statement that sex gets better with age. When you are young, you are still learning the basics about how your bits work. You are experimenting which is exciting but your partner is experimenting too so there's some hits and misses. If you are like most young women, you are focused on how you look: Does this thong make my butt look big? You are also wondering if the guy you are with likes you a little or a lot, as much as you want him to like you. During sex, you may be so precoccupied with making him feel good that you forget about your own needs. In movies, you see women who cum on command. The guy pulls down her undies and he's in. She instantly moans and has a mind-blowing orgasm. Really?
As you age, you have more knowledge about your body. You know what sets you off and you can guide your partner or do it yourself. Once you've reached menopause or you've had your tubes tied or your husband has had a vasectomy, you can enjoy sex without worrying about getting pregnant. When you are in a long term relationship, you feel connected to your partner, you trust and love each other, this adds intimacy to your sexual encounters. There is a peak in libido for women in midlife which means your husband will get more than he bargained for but I don't think he'll complain. Also, it takes longer for men to get hard and they can last longer. We've all experienced sex with a young adult who is so excited to be having sex that he ejaculates right out of the gate. Bummer! Older men can give you more bang for your buck which means you are not rushing to cum before he does.
Having sex is very healthy. Your blood is flowing through your body, including your all-important brain, your muscles get a workout and your heart is pumping hard. Your vagina also stays lubricated and flexible for future use if it is getting some action on a regular basis. You feel alive, vibrant and sexy into old age while maintaining a level of intimacy with your partner (instead of becoming Ernie and Bert). So we all need to stop treating older adults like they have no sex life. Media should portray the elderly in a more realistic light and we need to be living according to our own needs, not trying to live up to some external expectation: cut your hair, wear modest clothing and sensible shoes etc.. Boring!!!
I love meeting women who are older, vibrant, healthy, active and enjoying their life. That's the way I plan to age. What about you?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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