Friendship

February 3rd, 2016

When I was reading, Don't Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle, one of the chapters was devoted to friendships. I have always had friends but we moved every few years so I don't have a lot of long- term friendships from my childhood. I am both shy and social so I like a lot of people but they may not know I do. As I read through the chapter, I realized I suck at friendships.

Let me explain. The author described friends you want to avoid and it sounded like me. One of the descriptors was that I "speak in an animated way", which I do. I also move my hands around when I talk. I think this stems from my French Canadian background. The other descriptor was "speaking loudly and excitedly". Yup, once again, I am guilty.

There was another paragraph about the importance of making time for friendships. I am guilty of this as well. I think about people all the time and I genuinely care about them but I don't pick up the phone and call them. They are someone I would love to get together with in the near future, I just don't pick a time so it may be a while between visits. I may e-mail and say; Let's get together for coffee. They'll reply, yes. Then it just stays in my mind, no action.

I have decided to correct this habit. Life is too short. From now on, I will contact one friend per week to go for a walk, meet for coffee, visit Micheal's Art Store or come over for a meal. I do value friendships so my behaviour needs to reflect this. We are surrounded by great people out here. There are so many women I admire. I just need to reach out to them.

I am so pleased that my daughters are being raised in the same neighbourhood and have kept a lot of their friends from school. I enjoy watching their friends change as they mature. I love getting to know them and their parents. My husband is like me. He only needs a few friends and he doesn't actively seek them out. He met the father of one of our daughter's friends last year and they hit it off. They love music and go out for wings and beer on a regular basis. It makes me happy to see him have fun. The father and daughter are coming over for pizza tonight. It will be a blast.

Here is what I have learned about friendships over the years:
1-You need to pick people you respect
2-You must set time aside to spend time with them or it will never happen
3-Ask questions about their life and loved ones and listen
4-Take turns initiating contact or suggesting activities
5-Let them know you think they are awesome
6-Be ready and willing to help them the they need it
7-What your friends tell you is confidential

Hopefully, I can keep my promise to myself and reach out to a few wonderful women. This is my resolution for 2016. Stay tuned!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org