Worth

May 30th, 2016

I hope everyone out there had a great weekend! The sun felt so fantastic, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it!

I am reading The Abundance Code, a book that addresses myths we believe about money then challenges us to rewrite our beliefs to reflect the true abundance of the world in which we live. I am loving it so far but when she uses financial terms I am absolutely lost. Hopefully, it will all make sense as I read on. One of the chapters explores the concept of worth, as in, do we feel worthy of money? If not, we sabotage all opportunities to earn more money.

This got me thinking about our sense of worth in general, not just as it relates to money. There are many ways in which we gain our feelings of worthiness. If I think about this theme in a chronological order than I would think our first sense of worthiness comes from our parents. They love us therefore we are worthy. If we are raised in a dysfunctional family where a parent's love is rarely expressed or, worse, the parents are emotionally abusive then there will be some serious damage to our self esteem. Then we start to feel worthy based on our behaviour, whatever is praised makes us feel worthy, whatever is punished leads to feelings of shame or remorse. As a teenager, belonging and inclusion create a sense of worth, popularity with the opposite gender, looks, clothes, the factors of our worthiness can get pretty superficial.

As a young adult, getting into a certain College or University can create a sense of worth. Working at a great job that others approve of either due to status or income or both increases our sense of worth. The following years are filled with steps on the ladder or worthiness, marriage, a mortgage, children, traveling, promotions, wealth.

Then comes the moment when we realize that all of our worth has come from external sources. We hate our job that our parents loved so much! We have gained weight and our health is at risk. We are burned out. The children we have devoted so much energy in raising are off living their own lives. So, there we are in our job, making good money, feeling empty and so very tired. There is often a pivotal moment, either through divorce, illness, empty nest or the death of a loved one. This moment lights a fire in us. Wait a minute, this is not my life. I want more or something different. It starts as discomfort, this life no longer fits. Then we start talking about it with others and realize that they are also dissatisfied with their lives. Next, we take action, sometimes in small steps, for others it comes in risky leaps and bounds.

All external sources of worth are temporary. Feeling worthy based on the approval of others always leads to disappointed because they will not always agree with you and you may need to take action that they don't understand. What made you popular in high school won't work when you are a middle-aged adult. Your looks will change over time. You can lose the house, get laid off from work and get divorced. So what's left?

You are worthy because there is no one else like you. You have a combination of strengths, traits and skills that are all yours. There is a reason why certain actions, people or environments light you up inside, these are guideposts to your purpose. You are worthy no matter what, whether you are rich or poor, busy or between jobs, gorgeous or average. When you acknowledge and celebrate your worthiness, you naturally make decisions about the people and activities that are worthy of your time and attention. That makes life interesting and worth living.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org