October 26th, 2016
This evening, two local women are holding a meeting in Kemptville to launch Ontario Parenting Connection. The goal of this initial meeting is a needs assessment therefore all local parents are invited to attend and voice their concerns, desires and dreams for the area. Some of the needs identified by the co-founders, two busy moms with young children, are walk-in clinics to avoid congestion and long waits at the KDH emergency room, a recreation complex with an indoor pool, a splash pad, bathrooms and shaded areas at local parks as well as a more pedestrian-friendly infrastructure for our city.
I can vouch for all of these concerns as the parent of two young girls, now aged 8 and 10. After I had my second, there was nowhere to walk safely and this made it harder to shed my baby fat, get my daily dose of vitamin D from the sun and stay fit. My daughters don't ride bicycles because we live at the corner of two busy roads where people scream around the corner, often distracted by their phone.
Ever since my daughters were you, we have had to drive to Brockville or Ottawa to swim in the Winter. This requires an extra effort, some planning and, driving through various weather conditions. If there was an indoor swimming pool in Kemptville, we could go weekly, at a set time and look forward to it. However, driving to the Nepean Sportsplex makes things more complicated. When one or two of your children are at an age where they nap, it becomes almost laughable. You need to find out what time you can go for a free swim or family swim, you need to figure out how long the drive will be, where the children will nap (in the car, before you leave, when you return?), when they will eat (prepared lunches in the car, eat once we get there, eat at the house and bring a snack for later). It gets complicated.
I am blessed with two healthy daughters. However, when my youngest started grade 1, she was getting ear infections. She had never had them before and apparently they were caused by mould in her classroom, an issue that has since been resolved. I have needed to take her to the emergency room twice due to double ear infections, waiting hours to be seen by the doctor and leaving with a prescription for antibiotics. A third time, I had her checked after the school called me because another student had knocked her to the floor, banging her head on gym tiles during physical education class. They suspected a concussion but she was fine. Once again, a long wait in a germ-infested waiting room. A walk-in clinic would alleviate congestion and cut down on wait times.
My daughters and I have been to pretty much every park in the area. Other than the Riverside Park and South Mountain Park, most of the time, there is nobody there. In the warm months, the play structure gets really hot and dangerous because there is no shade. If your child needs to go to the washroom, you have to drive home, go to a store near by or have them pee in the bush. There are Port-A-Potties at Riverside Park but they smell bad and occasionally have hornet's nests in them. There is no way I am getting my daughters in there.
I would add another item to be discussed. The lack of buses or train stations in Kemptville. We have one bus, it leaves Kemptville early on weekday mornings to bring commuters to Ottawa for work. It returns to Kemptville around 6pm on weeknights. We have many one car families. One parent drives to work and the stay-at-home parent stays home without any means of getting anywhere for socializing and recreation. You may be able to walk during the Spring and Fall but it may be too hot to brave long distances in the Summer and too cold in the Winter. This means parents are stranded and isolated in their homes. Having a bus that flows through Kemptville, Oxford Mills and South Mountain, would mobilize parents with young children, allowing for greater access to local stores, to programming at the Municipal Centre and, to each other. Some of my clients are in abusive relationships. Their partner takes the phone and the car away during the day and these women are stuck, too far from any resources to attempt their escape.
I went to Ontario Early Years when my girls were young. It was an awesome resource for me as I had moved to the area while I was pregnant with my youngest. The OEY centre moved from Saunders to across the street and now to CR 43. I was lucky enough to live up the street and have access to a car. I believe that the best strategy for rural areas is to have an RV which travels to various neighbourhoods and offers programming on a set schedule to that area. Parents could walk up the street to attend programs and connect with other families who live nearby. The RV could park in Meadowglen on Monday mornings, Stonehaven on Monday afternoons, Abbott Road on Tuesday mornings, Victoria Park on Tuesday afternoons, E-Quinelle on Wednesday mornings and return to the first area for a second visit. This way, every family could walk to at least one location for support and they could still drive to other areas if they wished to do so. It just makes sense.
If you'd like to give your two cents, join Samantha Kutowy and Meghan Coupal this evening from 6:30-8:30pm at the Grenville Mutual Insurance Building in Kemptville or e-mail them at ontarioparenting@gmail.com.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label families. Show all posts
Showing posts with label families. Show all posts
Wednesday, 26 October 2016
Tuesday, 1 March 2016
Home Ownership Course
February 29th, 2016
Today, I was able to return the art that was created by grades 4,5 and 6 at Oxford-on-Rideau Public School. Their art was produced during my workshop on rural poverty and affordable housing in order to raise awareness about these issues in our community. Their flags were displayed at Geronimo Coffee House for the month of February, during the Share the Love campaign. I was very excited to bring the flags back to the school so the students can bring them home and share them with their parents.
During the Share the Love meeting at The Branch Restaurant on February 22nd, Mario Zambonin, the new manager of our ReStore in Kemptville talked about the importance of home ownership and the stability it provided for children. His feedback really made me think. As a child, we moved every 2-3 years and we always rented. I remember feeling that our living arrangements were temporary. I couldn't paint or decorate my walls in a way that might damage the paint. If something broke, we had to call the landlord. Sometimes, if a neighbour wasn't looking after his or her apartment, all of us had to get fumigated due to an infestation in their house. You could hear the neighbours argue. I recall a particular neighbour when I was seven years old. The man beat his girlfriend. She would hit the wall so hard that our apartment shook. It was upsetting to hear him yell at her and to hear her screams as she tried to get away or as she hit the wall. Hearing a grown woman cry was stressful and confusing to me. There is no privacy when you live in a cheaply built apartment.
The cleanliness of the lobby and hallways is up to the building owner. The landscaping and maintenance also reflect decisions made by the building's owner. The same goes for the maintenance of the building's elevators. You can never just take action and get a situation resolved because it's never your place, you're just passing through. As a child, you are aware that you are living among people. You can't jump too hard or too long because there are neighbours downstairs. You can't play your music too long because the neighbours might complain. Bouncing a ball off the wall? Also a bad idea.
When I moved into my first home, I had to learn to be a homeowner. It wasn't just a matter of paying the down payment, setting money aside for taxes or covering the cost of utilities. It didn't occur to me until winter approached that I would need to hire someone to plough our driveway and that, next Spring, I'd need to find someone to mow the lawn. I had no idea there was a filter that needed to be changed for the furnace in the basement. I learned to maintain our home and develop pride of ownership. If there was something I didn't like about our home, I could change it or hire someone to help me. If there was ice on my driveway, I was the one responsible for coating the ice with salt or sand. If something broke, I had to figure out how to fix it or hire someone to do it.
My husband and I now own our second home and I no longer feel trepidation when I decide to paint my walls or hang a shelf. I have learned to tile floors, paint walls and ceilings, use a lawn mower, shovel a driveway, change the furnace filter, replace the water softener and have taxes included in my mortgage so the tax bill doesn't come as one big chunk. People who grew up with home owning parents are used to this but all of it is new to people like me who lived in run down apartments.
As Mario talked about the importance of home ownership, I reflected on this learning and thought it would be worthwhile to teach a Home Ownership course. It's great to help a family become home owners but it's important to ease the transition to new habits and a different mindset to ensure their comfort and success as a home owning family. Just like you adults can benefit from learning about their cars when they earn their license, skills like changing a tire, checking fluids, boosting a battery etc, home owners can learn how to care for, maintain and perform simple fixes to their home. Food for thought!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today, I was able to return the art that was created by grades 4,5 and 6 at Oxford-on-Rideau Public School. Their art was produced during my workshop on rural poverty and affordable housing in order to raise awareness about these issues in our community. Their flags were displayed at Geronimo Coffee House for the month of February, during the Share the Love campaign. I was very excited to bring the flags back to the school so the students can bring them home and share them with their parents.
During the Share the Love meeting at The Branch Restaurant on February 22nd, Mario Zambonin, the new manager of our ReStore in Kemptville talked about the importance of home ownership and the stability it provided for children. His feedback really made me think. As a child, we moved every 2-3 years and we always rented. I remember feeling that our living arrangements were temporary. I couldn't paint or decorate my walls in a way that might damage the paint. If something broke, we had to call the landlord. Sometimes, if a neighbour wasn't looking after his or her apartment, all of us had to get fumigated due to an infestation in their house. You could hear the neighbours argue. I recall a particular neighbour when I was seven years old. The man beat his girlfriend. She would hit the wall so hard that our apartment shook. It was upsetting to hear him yell at her and to hear her screams as she tried to get away or as she hit the wall. Hearing a grown woman cry was stressful and confusing to me. There is no privacy when you live in a cheaply built apartment.
The cleanliness of the lobby and hallways is up to the building owner. The landscaping and maintenance also reflect decisions made by the building's owner. The same goes for the maintenance of the building's elevators. You can never just take action and get a situation resolved because it's never your place, you're just passing through. As a child, you are aware that you are living among people. You can't jump too hard or too long because there are neighbours downstairs. You can't play your music too long because the neighbours might complain. Bouncing a ball off the wall? Also a bad idea.
When I moved into my first home, I had to learn to be a homeowner. It wasn't just a matter of paying the down payment, setting money aside for taxes or covering the cost of utilities. It didn't occur to me until winter approached that I would need to hire someone to plough our driveway and that, next Spring, I'd need to find someone to mow the lawn. I had no idea there was a filter that needed to be changed for the furnace in the basement. I learned to maintain our home and develop pride of ownership. If there was something I didn't like about our home, I could change it or hire someone to help me. If there was ice on my driveway, I was the one responsible for coating the ice with salt or sand. If something broke, I had to figure out how to fix it or hire someone to do it.
My husband and I now own our second home and I no longer feel trepidation when I decide to paint my walls or hang a shelf. I have learned to tile floors, paint walls and ceilings, use a lawn mower, shovel a driveway, change the furnace filter, replace the water softener and have taxes included in my mortgage so the tax bill doesn't come as one big chunk. People who grew up with home owning parents are used to this but all of it is new to people like me who lived in run down apartments.
As Mario talked about the importance of home ownership, I reflected on this learning and thought it would be worthwhile to teach a Home Ownership course. It's great to help a family become home owners but it's important to ease the transition to new habits and a different mindset to ensure their comfort and success as a home owning family. Just like you adults can benefit from learning about their cars when they earn their license, skills like changing a tire, checking fluids, boosting a battery etc, home owners can learn how to care for, maintain and perform simple fixes to their home. Food for thought!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 25 February 2016
Parent for life
February 23rd, 2016
The issue of caring for children even into adulthood never occurred to me until a woman asked for help with her son. He was employed a few hours a week and needed a ride home from work. The mother was able to drop him off on her way to work but she couldn't bring him back home after his shift just a few hours later. Her son had just graduated from high school and this was his first opportunity to work in the community. For young adults with Asperger Syndrome, transitioning from high school can be tricky. An opportunity to gain work skills can not be passed up. I was free at the time her son was done his shift so I offered to give him a ride home.
I wasn't sure what to expect. He was waiting for me outside his workplace when I arrived on the first day. We chatted on the way home about his responsibilities at work and whatever he purchased at the store. He was able to cook his own lunch and was looking forward to eating whatever was on the menu that day. As the weeks went by, I discovered his sense of humour and he opened up about his issues with family members, clients and the neighbours. I enjoyed our chats. He was very intelligent and interesting.
I have met other parents since then and learned about the tremendous pressure of loving an adult child with Asperger Syndrome. One of my mother's colleagues has an adult son who lives with them. She is worried about the future. She and her husband are aging and they worry about who will take care of their son when they are no longer able to do it. They have another son but they don't want to burden him with the responsibility. There aren't as many options for AS than for individuals with other needs.
A friend of mine has a teenage son on the spectrum. His friends are all getting their driver's licence but he is not able to get his. There are little realizations along the way that are challenging for individuals with AS and their loved ones.
In theory, there seems to be housing options. The Asperger Autism Network website (www.aane.org), recommends factors to consider when choosing adequate housing for individuals with AS. "It's important to choose housing that will support their sensory, social and environmental needs". They must have a place where they can be alone, comfortable and quiet.
According to an article in www.autismdigest.com dated July/August 2012, "it is estimated that approximately 500,000 individuals with ASD will reach adulthood in the next 15 years". This website proposes the use of the Functional Skills Screening Inventory (FSSI) in order to "improve services through observable behaviour change and by focusing on the functional living skills needed to be an integral part of the community". Once you have assessed the individual's strengths and needs, you can examine the variety of housing options ranging from adult foster homes to supervised apartments.
As you read about independent living, supported living and group homes, it can seem that finding appropriate accommodations is simply a matter of choice. However, as I speak to parents of adults on the spectrum, the reality is that these options are not available in their community. Therefore, parents are left to care for their adult offspring on their own or, with some assistance from an agency, while their son or daughter lives with them.
I did some research and found an exciting program in Texas. You may wonder why I am bothering to report on it since it is so far away. I think it can serve as a starting point and role model to inspire discussion and innovation in our community.
Marbridge is a residential program for individuals with AS. It "fulfills all nine of the Autism Society's quality of life indicators". Young adults come to this program after high school and Marbridge provides an individualized program for them to meet their personal goals. The focus may have to do with personal skills like self-care, life skills like cooking or washing laundry or, if the individual wishes to find employment, job skills including writing a resume and preparing for interviews.
The program was founded in 1953 but it has been re-vamped in 2001 to integrate "education, socialization, recreation, independent living skills and employment instructions". Their website is www.marbridge.org. Their home page boasts a success story, detailing the many steps that were taken to get this young man to his current independent life. We need more programs like these to support the many families seeking adequate solutions.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
The issue of caring for children even into adulthood never occurred to me until a woman asked for help with her son. He was employed a few hours a week and needed a ride home from work. The mother was able to drop him off on her way to work but she couldn't bring him back home after his shift just a few hours later. Her son had just graduated from high school and this was his first opportunity to work in the community. For young adults with Asperger Syndrome, transitioning from high school can be tricky. An opportunity to gain work skills can not be passed up. I was free at the time her son was done his shift so I offered to give him a ride home.
I wasn't sure what to expect. He was waiting for me outside his workplace when I arrived on the first day. We chatted on the way home about his responsibilities at work and whatever he purchased at the store. He was able to cook his own lunch and was looking forward to eating whatever was on the menu that day. As the weeks went by, I discovered his sense of humour and he opened up about his issues with family members, clients and the neighbours. I enjoyed our chats. He was very intelligent and interesting.
I have met other parents since then and learned about the tremendous pressure of loving an adult child with Asperger Syndrome. One of my mother's colleagues has an adult son who lives with them. She is worried about the future. She and her husband are aging and they worry about who will take care of their son when they are no longer able to do it. They have another son but they don't want to burden him with the responsibility. There aren't as many options for AS than for individuals with other needs.
A friend of mine has a teenage son on the spectrum. His friends are all getting their driver's licence but he is not able to get his. There are little realizations along the way that are challenging for individuals with AS and their loved ones.
In theory, there seems to be housing options. The Asperger Autism Network website (www.aane.org), recommends factors to consider when choosing adequate housing for individuals with AS. "It's important to choose housing that will support their sensory, social and environmental needs". They must have a place where they can be alone, comfortable and quiet.
According to an article in www.autismdigest.com dated July/August 2012, "it is estimated that approximately 500,000 individuals with ASD will reach adulthood in the next 15 years". This website proposes the use of the Functional Skills Screening Inventory (FSSI) in order to "improve services through observable behaviour change and by focusing on the functional living skills needed to be an integral part of the community". Once you have assessed the individual's strengths and needs, you can examine the variety of housing options ranging from adult foster homes to supervised apartments.
As you read about independent living, supported living and group homes, it can seem that finding appropriate accommodations is simply a matter of choice. However, as I speak to parents of adults on the spectrum, the reality is that these options are not available in their community. Therefore, parents are left to care for their adult offspring on their own or, with some assistance from an agency, while their son or daughter lives with them.
I did some research and found an exciting program in Texas. You may wonder why I am bothering to report on it since it is so far away. I think it can serve as a starting point and role model to inspire discussion and innovation in our community.
Marbridge is a residential program for individuals with AS. It "fulfills all nine of the Autism Society's quality of life indicators". Young adults come to this program after high school and Marbridge provides an individualized program for them to meet their personal goals. The focus may have to do with personal skills like self-care, life skills like cooking or washing laundry or, if the individual wishes to find employment, job skills including writing a resume and preparing for interviews.
The program was founded in 1953 but it has been re-vamped in 2001 to integrate "education, socialization, recreation, independent living skills and employment instructions". Their website is www.marbridge.org. Their home page boasts a success story, detailing the many steps that were taken to get this young man to his current independent life. We need more programs like these to support the many families seeking adequate solutions.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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