Jean Sebastien Charron

June 27th, 2016

On Saturday, I took my eldest daughter, Molly, to her dentist appointment. My mother was at home with my youngest so it was nice for us to have some time alone. As the dental hygienist was preparing the station for Molly's appointment, I noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck. It said 11:11. I asked her about the meaning of her tattoo. She said her grandma used to tell her to make a wish each time she saw 11:11 on the clock. Her grandma was very superstitious and after she passed away, the dental hygienist had that tattooed on the back of her neck.

I told her the story I have written about in a previous blog:
After my 17 year old cousin, Jean Sebastien, passed away, I saw 10:10 on clocks everywhere I went. I also heard the same songs we were listening to during our visit at his parents' house after his death-Hotel California and Stairway to Heaven. We had listened to a cd of Jean Sebastien trying to master these songs on the guitar and singing along. I asked my Godparents, his parents, if 10:10 had any significance. I was thinking maybe October 10th was an important date. They said it wasn't. From the moment I asked that question, I started to see 11:11 everywhere I went. I realized it wasn't the number itself, just the repetition. It became a symbol for me that I was not alone.

Whenever I had something important planned like my wedding, a surgery to have cysts removed from my ovaries or a court case (after we moved into this house and the lady who bought our old property sued our real estate agent and us because she wanted our furniture) it was always scheduled at 11 on the 11th. I didn't plan this. It just happened that way.

A week ago, I was sitting outside with my family eating a delicious BBQ supper on the deck. After supper, my youngest daughter, Stella, was eating dessert. The others had gone in but I sat next to her. She looked over to the right side of the yard, passed me. She smiled and waved. I asked her who she was waving at. She said: "An angel". I asked her if the angel had waved at her. She replied: "No, the angels don't have bodies. They are like moons. They glow and they're blurry." I sat there, silent, taking in this information. Stella added: "I see them all the time" in a no big deal tone of voice.

After Molly's dentist appointment, I came home and told my mother about the 11:11 tattoo. She told me that day, June 25th, was the 25th anniversary of the accident that took my cousin's life. All the hairs stood up on my body. Was that his way of saying hello and reminding me of this anniversary?

Jean Sebastien was 17 years old, riding his bicycle over to a friend's house when an older man who had already lost his licence for impaired driving hit him. He was hit so hard that his shoe was later retrieved from a nearby tree. His body had been flung from the bike. The drunk man didn't even stick around. He may have not even noticed he had killed someone. My Godparents never got to speak to their son again. He was brain dead after the impact. They sat by his bed at the hospital, holding his hands. His organs were harvested and he was taken off life support. A family and an entire community had lost a soul.

I was never close to my cousin before this point. He lived five hours away and he always visited his mom's side of the family when they came to town so I didn't get to know him. As my entire family went to see my Godparents, I learned that Jean Sebastien planned to be a lawyer. He was involved in his community. He was a member of a local theatre group. He sat on a St-Jean Baptiste float just a day before the accident. I discovered that he had a great sense of humour and that he was learning to play guitar. He had several girlfriends and they all grieved together. He was popular. Lots of youth joined us for the ceremony. All I can remember from his funeral was that the priest kept getting his name wrong-really annoying.

After his death, my Godparents offered to help me pay for my studies. I was in university and relying on OSAP to help me cover student loans. Initially, I wondered if this was a goo idea. I was grateful for their offer but I didn't know them very well. I felt guilty that I would get the money they had set aside for their deceased son. We were staying in their home during our visit. That night, we slept in my cousin's bedroom. I was trying to complete some homework in an adjacent office space and the lights in the room kept flickering. The computer wouldn't work properly. I strongly felt a presence next to me and I was sitting in the dark. The only light came from my computer. I freaked out and told my mother about it. As we spoke, the night light in the bedroom flickered.

My life changed that day. I was able to graduate with a BA in Psychology four years later. My grades improved because I knew I could actually do this. I went on to get more degrees. Most of all, I felt like we were doing it together. I would see 10:10 or 11:11 on days when I had an important assignment, exam or presentation. I would hear Hotel California or Stairway to Heaven everywhere I went. I actually had a conversation with Jean Sebastien as I slept on the bus going to Montreal for my studies one day. In my dream, he was sitting next to me on the bus and we had a long conversation. I don't remember the content, just that he was there and we were enjoying each other's company. To this day, I mess up computers. Whenever I try to do anything with technology my energy or our combined energy makes the system go haywire. Every time I am alone, driving the convertible, enjoying the sensation of the wind whipping through my hair and music blasting from the speakers, I feel him sitting next to me, enjoying every minute of it.

I am so grateful to my Godparents who believed in me and invested in me at the most challenging time in their lives. Without them, I would have graduated with debt. I would never have pursued anything beyond my BA. Now, thanks to  my education and the hard work that comes from believing that anything is possible, I have broken he cycle of poverty. I live comfortably with my family. My daughters have never been hungry or frightened that we couldn't afford our bills. They have warm coats, boots, hats and mitts in the winter and I get to work from home so I can enjoy our summers together.

I am learning to invest my money in order to generate more wealth for my later years and, to contribute to my community. My Godparents' generosity has inspired me to help others any time I can. I would not be the person I am today if I had not been supported by them.

Thank you Jean Charron!
Thank you Pierrette Rozon!
Thank you Jean Sebastien Charron!


Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org