October 11th, 2016
Well, I think we all agree that Fall has come. The mornings are chilly and the evenings are just plain frigid. I am attending some training tomorrow. It's in Brockville and starts early in the morning so I decided to pull out my Winter wardrobe. I walked down to the basement. No tupperware boxes. I checked the barn, where I knew there was a black garbage bag full of tights, tops and dresses. Nothing.
My husband has been driving to the local charity, Lazarus House, throughout the Summer with bags of stuff. He has been de-cluttering his closet. We have donated piles of toys that our daughters have outgrown. However, I think he may have gotten over-zealous and grabbed stuff that wasn't meant for the donation bin, namely, My Entire Winter Wardrobe.
I told my husband that I seemed to be missing a season's worth of clothing. He scratched his head, swallowed and asked me where this "wardrobe" was stored. He came with me to double check the basement and the barn. He came to the same conclusion as I had a mere 10 minutes earlier. Yup, no clothing here.
So, here's the thing, I can just got to the store and get a few pairs of pants, a couple of sweaters and a handful of tights but, I don't buy a lot of clothing. I pick items I like and keep them for years. I am imagining various items that I loved to wear. My favourite colourful dresses, my funky tights, my cozy sweaters. It's sad, like a photo album burned up in a fire.
The other thing is I am chunkier than I used to be and some of those items were my motivation to lose the weight. I wanted to fit into the colourful pants, that tulip shaped skirt. Those were my measuring stick. Have I lost weight? Let me try on those pants. Nope, still too tight. I feel like I have lost a whole section of my identity. I know it's only clothing and people have real problems and this is NOT a serious problem but it feels like a loss.
I can go shopping but I want my old clothes back. The shirt with a tiny stain from my daughter's spit up. The dress I wore to my art therapy interview. The pants I bought in Montreal in that cool shop on St-Denis that smells of incense.
I guess it's time for a fresh start. A new wardrobe with new memories. Clothing that fit me the way I am now. It just struck me that it's ironic that it is my Winter wardrobe that has disappeared since I visualize every day that I go away with my family every year to a warm destination for the entire Winter. Perhaps the Universe is listening to my request and preparing me for our departure. If my life is about to change and I won't be around for the Winter then bring it on but it better happen soon because it's getting cold.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Tuesday, 11 October 2016
Friday, 29 January 2016
40+ year old woman-MG
January 29th 2016
For MG, the first 40 years of her life were amazing. She accomplished many of her goals and felt supported by her friends and family. She did not anticipate any changes as she reached her 40th birthday. She imagined that people who struggled with this milestone were those who were not enjoying their life. However, she was surprised when, three days after her 40th birthday, she felt like she'd been hit in the face by a sheet of plywood. She was having an identity crisis and she needed help. She spoke to her sister who suggested she seek professional support. That is exactly what she did.
MG realized that while she had accomplished a great deal, she was not fulfilling her own goals, rather, she was succumbing to the pressures of society; finding a partner and having children. She strived to "perform" in every aspect of her life. She started to question her values and realized she didn't know herself as well as she thought. It was difficult but, with support from her therapist, MG emerged from these dark years with more awareness and new tools. Her partner wondered if their relationship would survive but he stuck around and supported her. They have both grown through this process and are now a stronger couple. MG uncovered the key to happiness. She started doing things for herself because she wanted to do them. She discovered that others can't make you happy. This freed her to be with loved ones without unrealistic expectations.
She wouldn't change a thing about her life. She came from a big family with lots of boys and she feels this may have helped her succeed as an athlete. She believes the path she has travelled is exactly as it should be. If she could transfer her wisdom to younger women, her advice would be to stop relying on others for their own happiness. MG has noticed that we are often wounded by our expectations of others. Everyone should create their own happiness.
MG's pride and joy are her children who are now teenagers. She deduced that women change in their 40s because there is no time for awareness when they are younger. Young women seek to satisfy their parents, young adults are busy achieving goals on their career path, once they become someone's partner, they wish to please him and, as a mother, women forget all about themselves and their partners. As children grow up and become more independent, women become aware that they have time to reflect and they start to live more consciously.
MG has learned the art of self-care. When she doesn't listen to her needs, she becomes exhausted and she is unavailable to her partner and children. The biggest change in her over the years has been her level of conscious awareness. She used to function on auto-pilot going through her checklist of expectations; what a woman should do, check, what a mother should do, check, what a partner should do, check. She has since learned the importance of being selfish in a balanced way. If a woman wishes to be happy, finding time for herself is essential.
MG would love to help build the self-esteem and self-confidence of young girls. She feels that they can do anything as long as they believe in themselves. Armed with self-love, young girls will make excellent choices, reaching their goals and caring for themselves. MG feels grateful that she had positive female role-models. She learned that older women assert themselves, are authentic and, expect to be treated as equals. She saw her mother play a submissive role in her family and she was adamant about not taking on that role in her own life. She has high hopes for women.
Now MG takes time to participate in countless physical activities. She loves being in nature, it helps her to feel grounded. It helps her focus on what is important. She is grateful for the support of her sister and partner. She has taken charge of her life. She feels stronger, happier, more aware and, comfortable in her own skin.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
For MG, the first 40 years of her life were amazing. She accomplished many of her goals and felt supported by her friends and family. She did not anticipate any changes as she reached her 40th birthday. She imagined that people who struggled with this milestone were those who were not enjoying their life. However, she was surprised when, three days after her 40th birthday, she felt like she'd been hit in the face by a sheet of plywood. She was having an identity crisis and she needed help. She spoke to her sister who suggested she seek professional support. That is exactly what she did.
MG realized that while she had accomplished a great deal, she was not fulfilling her own goals, rather, she was succumbing to the pressures of society; finding a partner and having children. She strived to "perform" in every aspect of her life. She started to question her values and realized she didn't know herself as well as she thought. It was difficult but, with support from her therapist, MG emerged from these dark years with more awareness and new tools. Her partner wondered if their relationship would survive but he stuck around and supported her. They have both grown through this process and are now a stronger couple. MG uncovered the key to happiness. She started doing things for herself because she wanted to do them. She discovered that others can't make you happy. This freed her to be with loved ones without unrealistic expectations.
She wouldn't change a thing about her life. She came from a big family with lots of boys and she feels this may have helped her succeed as an athlete. She believes the path she has travelled is exactly as it should be. If she could transfer her wisdom to younger women, her advice would be to stop relying on others for their own happiness. MG has noticed that we are often wounded by our expectations of others. Everyone should create their own happiness.
MG's pride and joy are her children who are now teenagers. She deduced that women change in their 40s because there is no time for awareness when they are younger. Young women seek to satisfy their parents, young adults are busy achieving goals on their career path, once they become someone's partner, they wish to please him and, as a mother, women forget all about themselves and their partners. As children grow up and become more independent, women become aware that they have time to reflect and they start to live more consciously.
MG has learned the art of self-care. When she doesn't listen to her needs, she becomes exhausted and she is unavailable to her partner and children. The biggest change in her over the years has been her level of conscious awareness. She used to function on auto-pilot going through her checklist of expectations; what a woman should do, check, what a mother should do, check, what a partner should do, check. She has since learned the importance of being selfish in a balanced way. If a woman wishes to be happy, finding time for herself is essential.
MG would love to help build the self-esteem and self-confidence of young girls. She feels that they can do anything as long as they believe in themselves. Armed with self-love, young girls will make excellent choices, reaching their goals and caring for themselves. MG feels grateful that she had positive female role-models. She learned that older women assert themselves, are authentic and, expect to be treated as equals. She saw her mother play a submissive role in her family and she was adamant about not taking on that role in her own life. She has high hopes for women.
Now MG takes time to participate in countless physical activities. She loves being in nature, it helps her to feel grounded. It helps her focus on what is important. She is grateful for the support of her sister and partner. She has taken charge of her life. She feels stronger, happier, more aware and, comfortable in her own skin.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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