December 22nd, 2016
Things are much calmer now. My mother-in-law has arrived and I no longer spend so much time cleaning and preparing the house. Now, I just hang out, make tea, cook and chat. I can do that.
Yesterday, we went to the school to hear our eldest daughter sing in the Christmas concert. She handed out gifts to her teachers with a huge smile on her face. It warmed my heart to watch her light up. She has awesome teachers, she loves them so much and it felt good to acknowledge how important they are to her. Later, we all went to the Merry Memories evening at the school where they do crafts and games in every room. It was nice to see the teachers interacting with the students. They have the best staff at that school, really devoted people.
I felt pretty organized this year. The house was getting de-cluttered and cleaned and I purchased or ordered the gifts well in advance. We each get two gifts but then I buy an extra gift from each of our daughters for my husband, my mother and my mother-in-law. As for our daughters, there is always the gift from Santa. They open that one first. I thoroughly enjoy the whole Santa ritual; a plate of cookies, some milk, oats for the deer etc. Then in the morning, their faces light up as they see presents under the tree. Santa's gift is always wrapped in brown paper. Magic!
I thought for sure our eldest would stop believing by now but she is still excited about Saint-Nick. A few years ago, my husband tucked a piece of red felt in the door. It was a torn bit from our tree skirt. He told our eldest that Santa must have torn his coat. Our daughter's eyes were wide open and she held her breath. She kept that piece of felt in her hands for days. It ended up on her "no touching shelf".
This year, our daughters' requests for Santa were quite specific and they only wrote one thing on their list. I ordered them on amazon on Dec. 3rd. They were due on December 12th. I picked up the one parcel on December 15th. The other one was nowhere in sight. I checked its status on Amazon and noticed that the delivery date was now estimated as December 26th. I panicked. I contacted Amazon then the seller. The seller's response was not impressive: "Deal with Amazon cause we didn't process that order". Amazon didn't even respond to my comment.
Now I am in a tough situation. My girls believe a magical Santa has received their request and will deliver their gifts on time. I only have one gift and it's too late to order the doll from elsewhere. I can't have Santa only deliver one parcel. What do I tell my girls if I give neither of them their gift from Santa? How do I explain this?
I am so disappointed and frustrated. I ordered early, I paid extra to get the item shipped and delivered on time and, apparently someone who orders it on December 21st could receive it by December 23rd. I visited my Amazon account page to take a photo of the item and e-mail it to my husband. He was heading over to Ogdensburg, NY in the US. I thought they might have this doll there. I was shocked to see them advertising that it wasn't too late to get the doll in time for Christmas. Apparently, you would order it on December 21st and receive it by December 23rd.
So, I would not be surprised if this was the last year that both our daughters believe in Santa. Thank you Amazon for creating all this stress and doing nothing about it. You have messed up our last year of magic. If any of you have suggestions on how to keep them believing despite the lack of gifts, I would love to hear them.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label rituals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rituals. Show all posts
Thursday, 22 December 2016
Thursday, 8 September 2016
Religion and Spirituality
September 8th, 2016
My grandmother was never very religious. When her children were young, they would all go to Church on Sundays but as the children got older the tradition came to a halt. My grandfather gave a lot of money to the Church and he helped out every Sunday. One day he was battling a flu and didn't think he could go to mass. He didn't want to let the priest down so he had a bit of Brandy in milk before he left. He confessed to the priest that he had done this and, when the time came to receive communion, the priest refused to give my grandfather the Holy Host. He never went to Church after that.
Growing up, my mother did not talk about God. She wasn't a believer. We went to Church for a few years because my Aunt Mary and Uncle Paul would pick us up, take us to Sunday Service and treat us to a meal at the Ponderosa Steakhouse afterwards. We were poor and starving so we sat through Church in order to eat every Sunday. When their own son had children, Paul and Mary stopped coming to see us and our routine of attending Church ended.
In my first year of University, I was approached by Campus Crusade for Christ during orientation. They were asking students to fill in their contact information. The hallways were packed. I couldn't go anywhere and this woman with a kind face asked for my phone number. I took the paper thinking I would write the wrong number. To my surprise, I wrote the right one. Then I thought if I could walk forwards just a little bit, I could ball up my paper and throw it in the bin. The lady with the sweet face took the paper out of my hands. I figured I would just tell her I wasn't interested when she called. About eight weeks into the semester, I realized they hadn't called me yet, I was sort of miffed about it. I don't know why. When the call came, I agreed to meet with Laurie, the kind lady. I was curious.
She gave me a copy of the new testament and showed me the diagram of how I had been saved. She informed me that God had a plan for me and all I had to do was accept Jesus into my life. I read the entire New Testament and I became involved with Campus Crusade for a few years. The feeling of having a purpose, of being on the right track and belonging to a group appealed to me. I was on a mission. I met some great people and became quite spiritual. I tried going to Church but the Catholic Church sermons bored me. They were mechanical and the rituals felt empty. I went to a Pentecostal Church with Laurie. I enjoyed meeting her friends but the sermon did not move me. There was an Anglican Church close to the University. I tried it and it was my favourite. They served actual bread and wine during the service which felt more authentic. People lingered after the sermon to have coffee and dessert in the basement. I ended up in the kitchen cleaning dishes with a group of women. I didn't feel judged which was in sharp contrast to every other Church experience I'd ever had. The people there chatted, seeming happy to see one another. They weren't gossipy.
I was quite religious for a few years. I took an elective in University on the religions of the world. Buddhism and Taoism intrigued me. Their statements were very philosophical and I could see their practical applications in everyday life. Over the years, I have come to my own understanding and mix of beliefs. I don't take my daughters to Church but I teach them to be kind to people. I talk about death and angels, energy and spirit. I answer their questions to the best of my ability and let them know that other people believe other things. I encourage them to think for themselves, ask questions, try out prayer, mediation, gratitude journals, yoga and communicating with their Guardian Angels.
It used to be if you didn't go to Church you went to Hell, everyone knew and feared it. This resulted in watching each other, judging one another and being hypocritical to convince others that we were a righteous disciple. The Church can be a great place for some where they feel welcomed, take comfort in the rituals and spend time communing with God, family and community. However, more than ever now, people are turning away from the rigidity of religion. They are either deciding to believe in nothing or science or, to develop their own mix of spirituality, borrowing from different belief systems.
I still consider myself to be a spiritual person. I believe that we are all here for a reason, that people and situations are in our lives for a reason and that synchronicity exists to let us know we are on the right track. I pray for help or guidance before I meet with clients or if I am struggling in my personal life. I meditate and keep a gratitude log in my journal. I do my best to be kind and to help others when I have the opportunity to do so. Each religion promotes love and kindness, the only difference is in how this is expressed. The saddest thing ever is when two individuals fight over their beliefs and harm one another. I love that we live in a country where we can decide what to believe and still be friends with others who have different spiritual convictions. Go with whatever makes you a calmer, more loving and fulfilled person.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
My grandmother was never very religious. When her children were young, they would all go to Church on Sundays but as the children got older the tradition came to a halt. My grandfather gave a lot of money to the Church and he helped out every Sunday. One day he was battling a flu and didn't think he could go to mass. He didn't want to let the priest down so he had a bit of Brandy in milk before he left. He confessed to the priest that he had done this and, when the time came to receive communion, the priest refused to give my grandfather the Holy Host. He never went to Church after that.
Growing up, my mother did not talk about God. She wasn't a believer. We went to Church for a few years because my Aunt Mary and Uncle Paul would pick us up, take us to Sunday Service and treat us to a meal at the Ponderosa Steakhouse afterwards. We were poor and starving so we sat through Church in order to eat every Sunday. When their own son had children, Paul and Mary stopped coming to see us and our routine of attending Church ended.
In my first year of University, I was approached by Campus Crusade for Christ during orientation. They were asking students to fill in their contact information. The hallways were packed. I couldn't go anywhere and this woman with a kind face asked for my phone number. I took the paper thinking I would write the wrong number. To my surprise, I wrote the right one. Then I thought if I could walk forwards just a little bit, I could ball up my paper and throw it in the bin. The lady with the sweet face took the paper out of my hands. I figured I would just tell her I wasn't interested when she called. About eight weeks into the semester, I realized they hadn't called me yet, I was sort of miffed about it. I don't know why. When the call came, I agreed to meet with Laurie, the kind lady. I was curious.
She gave me a copy of the new testament and showed me the diagram of how I had been saved. She informed me that God had a plan for me and all I had to do was accept Jesus into my life. I read the entire New Testament and I became involved with Campus Crusade for a few years. The feeling of having a purpose, of being on the right track and belonging to a group appealed to me. I was on a mission. I met some great people and became quite spiritual. I tried going to Church but the Catholic Church sermons bored me. They were mechanical and the rituals felt empty. I went to a Pentecostal Church with Laurie. I enjoyed meeting her friends but the sermon did not move me. There was an Anglican Church close to the University. I tried it and it was my favourite. They served actual bread and wine during the service which felt more authentic. People lingered after the sermon to have coffee and dessert in the basement. I ended up in the kitchen cleaning dishes with a group of women. I didn't feel judged which was in sharp contrast to every other Church experience I'd ever had. The people there chatted, seeming happy to see one another. They weren't gossipy.
I was quite religious for a few years. I took an elective in University on the religions of the world. Buddhism and Taoism intrigued me. Their statements were very philosophical and I could see their practical applications in everyday life. Over the years, I have come to my own understanding and mix of beliefs. I don't take my daughters to Church but I teach them to be kind to people. I talk about death and angels, energy and spirit. I answer their questions to the best of my ability and let them know that other people believe other things. I encourage them to think for themselves, ask questions, try out prayer, mediation, gratitude journals, yoga and communicating with their Guardian Angels.
It used to be if you didn't go to Church you went to Hell, everyone knew and feared it. This resulted in watching each other, judging one another and being hypocritical to convince others that we were a righteous disciple. The Church can be a great place for some where they feel welcomed, take comfort in the rituals and spend time communing with God, family and community. However, more than ever now, people are turning away from the rigidity of religion. They are either deciding to believe in nothing or science or, to develop their own mix of spirituality, borrowing from different belief systems.
I still consider myself to be a spiritual person. I believe that we are all here for a reason, that people and situations are in our lives for a reason and that synchronicity exists to let us know we are on the right track. I pray for help or guidance before I meet with clients or if I am struggling in my personal life. I meditate and keep a gratitude log in my journal. I do my best to be kind and to help others when I have the opportunity to do so. Each religion promotes love and kindness, the only difference is in how this is expressed. The saddest thing ever is when two individuals fight over their beliefs and harm one another. I love that we live in a country where we can decide what to believe and still be friends with others who have different spiritual convictions. Go with whatever makes you a calmer, more loving and fulfilled person.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 19 May 2016
We are not computers
May 19th, 2016
This discussion has come up with so many people lately, I decided I should blog about it. Technology was never meant to speed things up. The intention was to create more time for the important people and activities in our lives by delegating menial, busy work to a machine. However, we did not know how to make the most of this extra time. We didn't spend more time eating meals as a family or reading great books. Instead, we worked longer hours, doubled our workload and multi-tasked. We also moved off the land and created office cubicles.
We can observe the impact of technology on our nutrition. We are less likely to grow our food and roast a meal throughout the day. We are often away from home at the office therefore we are unable to supervise our garden or our roasts. Therefore, we grab fast food or prepared foods on our way home and zap them in our microwaves.
Technology has sped up our lives. We drive through rush hour traffic to get home from our demanding jobs then we shovel mouthfuls of food into our tense bodies before beginning the frenetic activities of the evening: swimming, gymnastics, hockey, soccer, karate, piano etc. By the time we return home, we squeeze in 30 minutes of homework and fall into our beds.
As a mother, I recall being sleep deprived and drinking coffee from the wee hours of the morning onward in order to function throughout the day. That was a very distinct period of my life. However, I see so many people living off coffee, pop or energy drinks. They have meetings, reports, conferences, deadlines etc. All of it is important and, of course, urgent.
Working in long-term care, I witnessed first-hand how nurses who trained because they were compassionate and had great bed-side manners, burnt out over and over again. Why? They spend so much time filling out paper work in order to maintain funding, avoid being labelled as redundant and prevent liability issues that they hardly have time to connect with their residents. Furthermore, when residents come to them for comfort, they must turn them away because they are already overwhelmed with work. This is a surefire way to destroy the spirit of a compassionate human being who would like nothing more than to connect with residents, hear their stories and offer support.
Our relationships are also impacted by technology. We juggle impossible schedules and attempt to find some down time to connect and catch up. However, by the end of our filled and fast-paced days at work, we are often too wrung out to do much of anything. Instead, we sit in front of the television set, have a glass of wine, maybe hold hands and go to bed. Our children are exposed to technology early on as they suck on our cell phones, watch television programs at home and videos in the van while on the road. Their toys speak to them in both official languages and emit loud noises. They are overstimulated from a young age. Each toy makes different sounds and lights up, little is left to the imagination. I don't recall anyone saying: "I'm bored", when I was growing up yet it is so common these days.
What should have been progress has become a trap. We work hard, compete to climb the ladder to the jobs with the biggest pay. Then, we buy stuff as a symbol of our success. In order to keep our stuff and get more, we work harder to make more money. We look forward to our retirement when we will be able to do all those things we have wanted to do but have been too pooped to do in our lives. We take a week off to spend quality time together. Then we realize that we are strangers, that we are all so consumed with our Facebook, e-mails and x-boxes that our holiday is not what we hoped it would be or, we do spend time together and truly enjoy it, only to return to the our busy schedules as soon as the trip ends.
The computers were supposed to serve us. Somewhere along the way, we became confused. We started to treat ourselves like computers. We expected everything to happen faster. We wanted immediate gratification. We crammed our calendars, uploaded piles of information, imagined that we could multitask and do it all without error. The problem is we are not computers. We are human beings. We need more than upgrades and we are meant to last more than three years. We crave connection, belonging, meaning, love, growth and time for reflection and rest. We require physical contact and neither Facebook, Skype, E-mail or Text can fulfill that need.
The pendulum has swung too far. The proof is in the litres of caffeine required to keep up, the amount of alcohol consumed to numb ourselves, the excessive purchases needed to fill our void. The answer is a return to simplicity-growing herbs or a garden, spending time eating meals as a family, communing with nature, bonding with our children, having unscheduled play time, valuing people over money and living our lives now, not in the future. Creating or reviving rituals to celebrate pivotal moments on our life cycles can also infuse our lives with meaning and belonging.
It's time to focus on what matters: family, friends, good food, rest, nature, reflection, growth and love.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
This discussion has come up with so many people lately, I decided I should blog about it. Technology was never meant to speed things up. The intention was to create more time for the important people and activities in our lives by delegating menial, busy work to a machine. However, we did not know how to make the most of this extra time. We didn't spend more time eating meals as a family or reading great books. Instead, we worked longer hours, doubled our workload and multi-tasked. We also moved off the land and created office cubicles.
We can observe the impact of technology on our nutrition. We are less likely to grow our food and roast a meal throughout the day. We are often away from home at the office therefore we are unable to supervise our garden or our roasts. Therefore, we grab fast food or prepared foods on our way home and zap them in our microwaves.
Technology has sped up our lives. We drive through rush hour traffic to get home from our demanding jobs then we shovel mouthfuls of food into our tense bodies before beginning the frenetic activities of the evening: swimming, gymnastics, hockey, soccer, karate, piano etc. By the time we return home, we squeeze in 30 minutes of homework and fall into our beds.
As a mother, I recall being sleep deprived and drinking coffee from the wee hours of the morning onward in order to function throughout the day. That was a very distinct period of my life. However, I see so many people living off coffee, pop or energy drinks. They have meetings, reports, conferences, deadlines etc. All of it is important and, of course, urgent.
Working in long-term care, I witnessed first-hand how nurses who trained because they were compassionate and had great bed-side manners, burnt out over and over again. Why? They spend so much time filling out paper work in order to maintain funding, avoid being labelled as redundant and prevent liability issues that they hardly have time to connect with their residents. Furthermore, when residents come to them for comfort, they must turn them away because they are already overwhelmed with work. This is a surefire way to destroy the spirit of a compassionate human being who would like nothing more than to connect with residents, hear their stories and offer support.
Our relationships are also impacted by technology. We juggle impossible schedules and attempt to find some down time to connect and catch up. However, by the end of our filled and fast-paced days at work, we are often too wrung out to do much of anything. Instead, we sit in front of the television set, have a glass of wine, maybe hold hands and go to bed. Our children are exposed to technology early on as they suck on our cell phones, watch television programs at home and videos in the van while on the road. Their toys speak to them in both official languages and emit loud noises. They are overstimulated from a young age. Each toy makes different sounds and lights up, little is left to the imagination. I don't recall anyone saying: "I'm bored", when I was growing up yet it is so common these days.
What should have been progress has become a trap. We work hard, compete to climb the ladder to the jobs with the biggest pay. Then, we buy stuff as a symbol of our success. In order to keep our stuff and get more, we work harder to make more money. We look forward to our retirement when we will be able to do all those things we have wanted to do but have been too pooped to do in our lives. We take a week off to spend quality time together. Then we realize that we are strangers, that we are all so consumed with our Facebook, e-mails and x-boxes that our holiday is not what we hoped it would be or, we do spend time together and truly enjoy it, only to return to the our busy schedules as soon as the trip ends.
The computers were supposed to serve us. Somewhere along the way, we became confused. We started to treat ourselves like computers. We expected everything to happen faster. We wanted immediate gratification. We crammed our calendars, uploaded piles of information, imagined that we could multitask and do it all without error. The problem is we are not computers. We are human beings. We need more than upgrades and we are meant to last more than three years. We crave connection, belonging, meaning, love, growth and time for reflection and rest. We require physical contact and neither Facebook, Skype, E-mail or Text can fulfill that need.
The pendulum has swung too far. The proof is in the litres of caffeine required to keep up, the amount of alcohol consumed to numb ourselves, the excessive purchases needed to fill our void. The answer is a return to simplicity-growing herbs or a garden, spending time eating meals as a family, communing with nature, bonding with our children, having unscheduled play time, valuing people over money and living our lives now, not in the future. Creating or reviving rituals to celebrate pivotal moments on our life cycles can also infuse our lives with meaning and belonging.
It's time to focus on what matters: family, friends, good food, rest, nature, reflection, growth and love.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)