December 29th, 2016
The new year is only a few days away. Are you getting excited? Have you started exercising or dieting? Have you written down your new year's resolutions? For many, 2016 was a difficult year. They are looking forward to a fresh start. How about you?
Before we rush forward, anticipating all the great things that will happen, let's review 2016. Ask yourself the following questions:
What was the highlight of 2016 for me?
What decisions did I make that improved my life?
What actions or inaction do I regret?
Who were the people who stood by me or added to the quality of my life over the past year? How can I thank them or show my appreciation?
Assess your life and see what you'd like to change then identify the pieces of your puzzle that you wish to keep "as is".
Let's start with you. How healthy are you right now? You know what to do, move more, eat less, drink water etc. Are you overweight or a healthy weight? Are you underweight. If your weight is an issue, how can you get back to a healthy body in 2017? Is the weight from stress or food or lack of exercise? See what you can do to move more in a way you will enjoy; dancing around the house, getting a gym membership, signing up for Zumba or having a walk with a friend on a regular basis. How can you balance your nutrition? Can you prepare granola or smoothies to ensure you have a quick, nutritious start to your day? Research recipes that contain your favourite ingredients and cook them in a healthy way.
How are your relationships? Do you have a few good friends you can count on? If not, where could you go to meet like-minded individuals? Do you spend too much time on your own, hiding in your house or behind your desk? If you know some great people but you don't see them very often, make an effort to include them in your life. Having a good support system is important. If you have a partner, take an honest look at your relationship. Do you make time for each other? Do you listen to each other and connect emotionally and physically? If not, see if you can swap babysitting services with another couple and get out for a date. Share your highlights of 2016 and your dreams for 2017. Do they match? How can you be supportive of each other?
Are you where you want to be in your life? There is usually one area of life that lags behind. You may be super successful but single or happily married but stuck in your career. What area of your life needs some work? Make that a priority. Write a positive goal statement. Think of three steps you can take to move towards your goal. Imagine what it will feel like to reach this goal. Identify friends and family who will be supportive. You will need to share your goal with people you trust. Start moving in that direction and watch what happens. It should excite you otherwise, pick a different goal, one that is more meaningful to you.
You are here for a reason, we all are. Do you know what your purpose is? If not, ask your close friends and relatives for feedback. Their responses may surprise you. There is so much that comes naturally to you, that you take for granted. Others will know this about you. Their feedback can guide you toward activities; personal or professional that lead to fulfillment.
Regardless of where you are now, where you want to be by the end of 2017 and how far you are from your end goal, I hope the year 2017 is filled with opportunities for joy, love, peace and purpose. Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 December 2016
Friday, 9 December 2016
Christmas Spirit
December 9th, 2016
Christmas is fast approaching, there are clues everywhere from the music blasted over the shopping mall speakers, the parcels piled up a the post office, the grumpy, rushed people pushing through the crowds, two-fisting their bags of gifts (which they can't afford) and the decorations on the homes and store fronts.
Before I had children, I hated the commercial garbage that came with this holiday. Seeing the Christmas decorations next to the Halloween costumes in October or being bombarded with gift ideas at each commercial break in early November, it all seemed in such poor taste.
I always had a good time at Christmas. When I was younger, my mother and I would head over to my aunt and uncle's house for Christmas Eve where we would celebrate my uncle's birthday until midnight. Then, we would dole out Christmas gifts after midnight. We would eat and have dessert all over again in the wee hours of Christmas morning. Then we would sleep until it was time to go to my grandparents' home for Christmas. We would see all the cousins and their growing families. I didn't see many of them the rest of the year but we would catch up at my grandparents' home. My mother and I never had much money and my aunt, uncle and cousins would always buy us gifts even though they knew we couldn't buy them anything. It felt so good the first year I was able to surprise everyone with a gift. I was working full-time and able to splurge. It was the best!
When I married and had children of my own, we started new traditions. We stay in our pyjamas and lounge around the house, all cozy. The girls play with their new toys, my mother, husband and I linger over coffee and read from our new books. It is mellower but oh so cozy. I still call my aunt and uncle, they live in Aylmer and I in Kemptville so we generally don't see each other but it wouldn't be Christmas without talking to them. My cousins are at their house so I talk to them too.
We decorated the tree as a family last weekend. I enjoyed it, the girls are still young enough to be excited about Santa and the pretty tree. Each year I wonder if this is our last "magical" Christmas. It's not the same when they stop believing. I know the holidays are not about gifts and spending money but, I always get into the spirit when I start shopping. I am just so excited when I find the perfect gift, something my loved ones will love but would never buy for themselves.
Today was the best. I have already bought a gift for each of my daughters. Santa's gifts are on the way. My mother wasn't able to find anything in her many excursions out to the stores. She gets confused by the names of various dolls from multiple kids' shows. I told her I would get something on her behalf today. I drove out into the sunlight , my favourite music blaring and, found some perfect gifts. The girls will love them and my mom will be happy to have caused so much joy. Then, I visited a store and purchased some awesome gifts for my husband. I just know his face will light up when he sees them (no pressure or anything).
I am not a materialistic person and we only buy the girls a few gifts each. I think it's my inner child that is making up for lost time. Growing up, I would have these awesome ideas what to buy for people. I paid attention to what they liked and knew that my gift ideas would make them so happy. I just couldn't buy those things; for my mom, for aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and boyfriends. It feels so good to be able to buy something special for my loved ones now. It truly puts me in the Christmas spirit, not the commercial aspect of it but the spirit of giving, of thinking of others and creating special moments.
We have the cozy home, the fireplaces, the food, the people we love and the fun traditions. The gifts are just the cherry on top. Merry Christmas everyone!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Christmas is fast approaching, there are clues everywhere from the music blasted over the shopping mall speakers, the parcels piled up a the post office, the grumpy, rushed people pushing through the crowds, two-fisting their bags of gifts (which they can't afford) and the decorations on the homes and store fronts.
Before I had children, I hated the commercial garbage that came with this holiday. Seeing the Christmas decorations next to the Halloween costumes in October or being bombarded with gift ideas at each commercial break in early November, it all seemed in such poor taste.
I always had a good time at Christmas. When I was younger, my mother and I would head over to my aunt and uncle's house for Christmas Eve where we would celebrate my uncle's birthday until midnight. Then, we would dole out Christmas gifts after midnight. We would eat and have dessert all over again in the wee hours of Christmas morning. Then we would sleep until it was time to go to my grandparents' home for Christmas. We would see all the cousins and their growing families. I didn't see many of them the rest of the year but we would catch up at my grandparents' home. My mother and I never had much money and my aunt, uncle and cousins would always buy us gifts even though they knew we couldn't buy them anything. It felt so good the first year I was able to surprise everyone with a gift. I was working full-time and able to splurge. It was the best!
When I married and had children of my own, we started new traditions. We stay in our pyjamas and lounge around the house, all cozy. The girls play with their new toys, my mother, husband and I linger over coffee and read from our new books. It is mellower but oh so cozy. I still call my aunt and uncle, they live in Aylmer and I in Kemptville so we generally don't see each other but it wouldn't be Christmas without talking to them. My cousins are at their house so I talk to them too.
We decorated the tree as a family last weekend. I enjoyed it, the girls are still young enough to be excited about Santa and the pretty tree. Each year I wonder if this is our last "magical" Christmas. It's not the same when they stop believing. I know the holidays are not about gifts and spending money but, I always get into the spirit when I start shopping. I am just so excited when I find the perfect gift, something my loved ones will love but would never buy for themselves.
Today was the best. I have already bought a gift for each of my daughters. Santa's gifts are on the way. My mother wasn't able to find anything in her many excursions out to the stores. She gets confused by the names of various dolls from multiple kids' shows. I told her I would get something on her behalf today. I drove out into the sunlight , my favourite music blaring and, found some perfect gifts. The girls will love them and my mom will be happy to have caused so much joy. Then, I visited a store and purchased some awesome gifts for my husband. I just know his face will light up when he sees them (no pressure or anything).
I am not a materialistic person and we only buy the girls a few gifts each. I think it's my inner child that is making up for lost time. Growing up, I would have these awesome ideas what to buy for people. I paid attention to what they liked and knew that my gift ideas would make them so happy. I just couldn't buy those things; for my mom, for aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and boyfriends. It feels so good to be able to buy something special for my loved ones now. It truly puts me in the Christmas spirit, not the commercial aspect of it but the spirit of giving, of thinking of others and creating special moments.
We have the cozy home, the fireplaces, the food, the people we love and the fun traditions. The gifts are just the cherry on top. Merry Christmas everyone!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 14 November 2016
Rodolphe Charron
November 14th, 2016
Today would have been my grandfather's birthday. He passed away ten years ago at the age of 95. I loved my grandpa. He lost his entire family when he was eight years old because his mother had severe postpartum psychosis (we think) and she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. His father owned a general store and couldn't take care of the eight children. Therefore, they were all shipped off to different locations.
My grandpa was sent to a seminary where young men were sent to become priests. He cried for months. He looked up to an older boy who was living at the seminary. This young man was very disciplined and spent hours every evening doing his homework. My grandfather developed respect for education and had his own aspirations. However, as soon as he was old enough, his father returned for him. He had him work at his store. Eventually, he took over his business and became very successful. I don't know what he would have become if he hadn't been forced to take over the family business. He loved to watch the news, discuss politics and have debates with other men. I think he would have gone into law or politics.
He dated my grandmother for a long time before they married. We found out years later that she got pregnant and then they got married. It was their secret. My grandfather was intelligent. He was great with people, very polite and friendly. I can see why his business grew to be such a success. He was hardworking and proper. He wasn't the type to fool around or flirt with other women. My grandparents had five children together. My grandmother raised the children and my grandfather earned money. If one of the boys was given her a hard time, she would tell my grandad when he got home from work and he would get his strap. Ouch!
When the neighbourhood where his store was located became impoverished, he was robbed and held at gunpoint. The last time he was held at gun point, he decided to retire. He experienced symptoms following this trauma, probably like ptsd. He stayed home for a while and my grandmother was not happy about this new arrangement. He would walk around the house, whistling then read his paper and sit at the table for lunch or supper. He loved eating but he was especially fond of dessert. My grandma was an excellent cook so there was always plenty to eat and it was delicious. After he retired, they had to sell their country home. They moved to the city and lived in a tiny apartment. This was a difficult adjustment but the country property was too much for them to manage and it was more expensive.
Eventually, my grandad got jobs at the quarry then the courthouse. When he stopped working there, he ran errands for his siblings. They had reconnected at some point. His sister suffered from dementia so he would visit her weekly and run errands for her. His younger brother had a disability due to Scarlett Fever. He would take him out with him. Sometimes, they would go hunting together. He would drive out to his sister's ex husband's house regularly. It was an hour drive into the country and I would often go with him. I loved being in this country home and I would borrow the neighbour's dog to play with and care for.
My grandfather was really mellow. He had a great sense of humour, not so much saying jokes but laughing easily at the jokes of others. I can still see his belly jiggling and nostrils flaring as he laughed. He loved reading his paper, going out for walks to talk to other older men about politics and eating sweets. He drove everywhere and when he was diagnosed with dementia, his license was taken away. This was really hard on him. He was quiet. He preferred to let my grandmother enjoy the limelight. She liked it that way too. She sang and said jokes and everyone laughed, including him.
When you went to their home, there was a jar of jujubes near the front door on a kitchen cabinet. Many of us grabbed some jujubes on our way in or on the way out. There were grapes, slices of cheese, pickles and celery on the table for people to munch on and, as soon as you arrived, my grandfather would ask you if you'd like a pop or coffee or tea. He would fetch the pop and grandma would make coffee or tea.
You never knew who was stopping by during one of your visits. There was a knock on the door and you were instantly connecting with cousins, aunts, friends of the family etc. Both my grandparents loved that. I didn't have a father growing up so I am grateful that I had my grandfather in my life. I saw a gentle, caring, funny, hardworking, intelligent gentleman who took care of his family. I loved riding the elevator with him. He always took his hat off in the presence of women and greeted people as they got onto the elevator. I couldn't have asked for a better role model.
Happy birthday Grandpa! I love you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today would have been my grandfather's birthday. He passed away ten years ago at the age of 95. I loved my grandpa. He lost his entire family when he was eight years old because his mother had severe postpartum psychosis (we think) and she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. His father owned a general store and couldn't take care of the eight children. Therefore, they were all shipped off to different locations.
My grandpa was sent to a seminary where young men were sent to become priests. He cried for months. He looked up to an older boy who was living at the seminary. This young man was very disciplined and spent hours every evening doing his homework. My grandfather developed respect for education and had his own aspirations. However, as soon as he was old enough, his father returned for him. He had him work at his store. Eventually, he took over his business and became very successful. I don't know what he would have become if he hadn't been forced to take over the family business. He loved to watch the news, discuss politics and have debates with other men. I think he would have gone into law or politics.
He dated my grandmother for a long time before they married. We found out years later that she got pregnant and then they got married. It was their secret. My grandfather was intelligent. He was great with people, very polite and friendly. I can see why his business grew to be such a success. He was hardworking and proper. He wasn't the type to fool around or flirt with other women. My grandparents had five children together. My grandmother raised the children and my grandfather earned money. If one of the boys was given her a hard time, she would tell my grandad when he got home from work and he would get his strap. Ouch!
When the neighbourhood where his store was located became impoverished, he was robbed and held at gunpoint. The last time he was held at gun point, he decided to retire. He experienced symptoms following this trauma, probably like ptsd. He stayed home for a while and my grandmother was not happy about this new arrangement. He would walk around the house, whistling then read his paper and sit at the table for lunch or supper. He loved eating but he was especially fond of dessert. My grandma was an excellent cook so there was always plenty to eat and it was delicious. After he retired, they had to sell their country home. They moved to the city and lived in a tiny apartment. This was a difficult adjustment but the country property was too much for them to manage and it was more expensive.
Eventually, my grandad got jobs at the quarry then the courthouse. When he stopped working there, he ran errands for his siblings. They had reconnected at some point. His sister suffered from dementia so he would visit her weekly and run errands for her. His younger brother had a disability due to Scarlett Fever. He would take him out with him. Sometimes, they would go hunting together. He would drive out to his sister's ex husband's house regularly. It was an hour drive into the country and I would often go with him. I loved being in this country home and I would borrow the neighbour's dog to play with and care for.
My grandfather was really mellow. He had a great sense of humour, not so much saying jokes but laughing easily at the jokes of others. I can still see his belly jiggling and nostrils flaring as he laughed. He loved reading his paper, going out for walks to talk to other older men about politics and eating sweets. He drove everywhere and when he was diagnosed with dementia, his license was taken away. This was really hard on him. He was quiet. He preferred to let my grandmother enjoy the limelight. She liked it that way too. She sang and said jokes and everyone laughed, including him.
When you went to their home, there was a jar of jujubes near the front door on a kitchen cabinet. Many of us grabbed some jujubes on our way in or on the way out. There were grapes, slices of cheese, pickles and celery on the table for people to munch on and, as soon as you arrived, my grandfather would ask you if you'd like a pop or coffee or tea. He would fetch the pop and grandma would make coffee or tea.
You never knew who was stopping by during one of your visits. There was a knock on the door and you were instantly connecting with cousins, aunts, friends of the family etc. Both my grandparents loved that. I didn't have a father growing up so I am grateful that I had my grandfather in my life. I saw a gentle, caring, funny, hardworking, intelligent gentleman who took care of his family. I loved riding the elevator with him. He always took his hat off in the presence of women and greeted people as they got onto the elevator. I couldn't have asked for a better role model.
Happy birthday Grandpa! I love you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 21 October 2016
Book of the Week-Living an Inspired Life
October 21st, 2016
I just finished reading Wayne Dyer's, Living an Inspired Life. I always enjoy his books, they make me think and, sometimes, after his book has changed the way I see things, my life is better. Every improvement of my mind, leads to a higher quality of relationship with my loved ones and with the state of my life in general.
In this book, Wayne shows us what an inspired life looks and feels like, providing examples from his own life and from other mentors. You take some time to be quiet and to connect with your Source, every day. You have a plan for your life and you are open to signs and synchronicity that steer you in the right direction. You value your health so you make time to nourish your body, rest and spend time with other high energy individuals. You hold onto your vision for your life without becoming attached to outcome or led by your ego. You know that your Source knows what you need and you search for the clues to the next step. You also recognize that all people and experiences are intended to move you forward on your path.
Wayne reminds us that we are each a piece of that Source, that we are connected, powerful and creative. He warns against judging others, dismissing their role in our life and holding back the forgiveness that may set us free. He suggests that we protect our vision for our life from the scrutiny and criticism of others. We also need to avoid media, entertainment and people who expose us to violence, hatred and fear. This pulls us away from our Source.
We are also guided to see our bodies as healthy because that is our normal state. We are bombarded with messages by media that encourage us to worry about our health. There is a pill for every ailment and we are told that 1 in 10 or 2 out of 5 will get this ailment, leading to fear and dis-ease. As we align with Source through time spent alone in silence, we may need to make changes in our lives. In order for our life to bloom, we may need to correct some of our behaviours (addiction, negativity etc) and end some relationships or change employment.
We can move in the direction of our inspired life by noticing what excites us and taking action in that direction. We don't always know how we will get there but if we say yes to life, follow our intuition and simplify our life, we will be moving in the right direction. Wayne encourages us to retrieve our child spirit: joyful, trusting, playful and full of hope and surrender our ego. The ego restricts us because we are working for the payoff, we want the reward and acknowledgement. In order to get out of our ego and into spirit, we can practise giving generously to others without any expectations. We must declutter our schedule as well as our space because there will be no room for inspiration if our minds are full and our life is hectic. That is why it is wise to slow down, do what we enjoy, spend time in the service of others, connect in nature and take small steps, recognizing opportunities as they come your way.
Obviously, this is an ideal way of life but, just making any adjustment in this direction can lead to more joy, peace and fulfilment.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I just finished reading Wayne Dyer's, Living an Inspired Life. I always enjoy his books, they make me think and, sometimes, after his book has changed the way I see things, my life is better. Every improvement of my mind, leads to a higher quality of relationship with my loved ones and with the state of my life in general.
In this book, Wayne shows us what an inspired life looks and feels like, providing examples from his own life and from other mentors. You take some time to be quiet and to connect with your Source, every day. You have a plan for your life and you are open to signs and synchronicity that steer you in the right direction. You value your health so you make time to nourish your body, rest and spend time with other high energy individuals. You hold onto your vision for your life without becoming attached to outcome or led by your ego. You know that your Source knows what you need and you search for the clues to the next step. You also recognize that all people and experiences are intended to move you forward on your path.
Wayne reminds us that we are each a piece of that Source, that we are connected, powerful and creative. He warns against judging others, dismissing their role in our life and holding back the forgiveness that may set us free. He suggests that we protect our vision for our life from the scrutiny and criticism of others. We also need to avoid media, entertainment and people who expose us to violence, hatred and fear. This pulls us away from our Source.
We are also guided to see our bodies as healthy because that is our normal state. We are bombarded with messages by media that encourage us to worry about our health. There is a pill for every ailment and we are told that 1 in 10 or 2 out of 5 will get this ailment, leading to fear and dis-ease. As we align with Source through time spent alone in silence, we may need to make changes in our lives. In order for our life to bloom, we may need to correct some of our behaviours (addiction, negativity etc) and end some relationships or change employment.
We can move in the direction of our inspired life by noticing what excites us and taking action in that direction. We don't always know how we will get there but if we say yes to life, follow our intuition and simplify our life, we will be moving in the right direction. Wayne encourages us to retrieve our child spirit: joyful, trusting, playful and full of hope and surrender our ego. The ego restricts us because we are working for the payoff, we want the reward and acknowledgement. In order to get out of our ego and into spirit, we can practise giving generously to others without any expectations. We must declutter our schedule as well as our space because there will be no room for inspiration if our minds are full and our life is hectic. That is why it is wise to slow down, do what we enjoy, spend time in the service of others, connect in nature and take small steps, recognizing opportunities as they come your way.
Obviously, this is an ideal way of life but, just making any adjustment in this direction can lead to more joy, peace and fulfilment.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 3 October 2016
Book of the Week-Love Warrior
October 3rd, 2016
My mother and I met at Bayshore last Thursday. She told me she was done reading this book so I could have it. I was in the middle of another book but she said there was no rush, "Just take the book and read it when you have time". I was intrigued by this book. I started reading it that very afternoon.
What a roller coaster ride! I couldn't put it down. It is a memoir, the real story of Glennon who has a perfect childhood and finds herself disconnecting from her body at the age of ten. She numbs herself with food and develops an eating disorder. She numbs herself with alcohol and later drugs. She also has sex without any connection to her body or the people who are using it.
No one is able to reach her and help her until she gets pregnant. This is a turning point for her. She never loved herself enough to take care of herself but she can stop drinking and drugging in order to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Her boyfriend marries her. They have a few decent years in the cocoon of their family. Then, they grow apart as they each pull away from the other. When she finds out that her husband has betrayed her, Glennon must decide whether she will ever trust him again and if she even wants to try.
As Glennon and her husband work on their relationship, we learn a great deal about what it means to be authentic, to be real with one another. Glenn takes us along on her exploration of who she is and her discovery of what it means to be someone's intimate partner. She learns to love and accept herself and shed her masks. She connects with her body and discovers intimacy.
This is a truly brave, raw, honest look at her relationship with her Self, her Source, her children and her husband. It is inspiring because what she learns is something we can all apply to our lives and relationships. Here is what I have learned from Glennon:
1-Breathe and pay attention to the still voice inside you
2-You are loved and perfect as you are, nothing you can do will make you more loveable or less loveable
3-When you enter a relationship, both of you are loved and perfect, you can help each other grow by communicating honestly with each other and being present to one another
4-You need to identify your needs, respect them, take care of yourself and, ask your partner for what you need from him/her
5-You can be real and leave your representative (fake self behind)
6-You are a soul, a mind and a body, embrace all three aspects of yourself
7-When something happens to someone, the best thing you can do is acknowledge their pain and offer to be present (not fix or compare to someone else's story)
8-Be prepared to fully live this life, this means you will experience pain at times but you are a Warrior and you will survive it
9-Teach your children that they are loved and perfect as they are, show them how to express love in the world
10-We all suffer, don't pretend with others, be real and they can be real with you, no need to be lonely, reach out and tell the truth
This is one of those books that I inhaled. I will need to go over it again, slowly, because there is so much to learn from it. I feel inspired! If you are looking for a life-changing book, read this one.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
My mother and I met at Bayshore last Thursday. She told me she was done reading this book so I could have it. I was in the middle of another book but she said there was no rush, "Just take the book and read it when you have time". I was intrigued by this book. I started reading it that very afternoon.
What a roller coaster ride! I couldn't put it down. It is a memoir, the real story of Glennon who has a perfect childhood and finds herself disconnecting from her body at the age of ten. She numbs herself with food and develops an eating disorder. She numbs herself with alcohol and later drugs. She also has sex without any connection to her body or the people who are using it.
No one is able to reach her and help her until she gets pregnant. This is a turning point for her. She never loved herself enough to take care of herself but she can stop drinking and drugging in order to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Her boyfriend marries her. They have a few decent years in the cocoon of their family. Then, they grow apart as they each pull away from the other. When she finds out that her husband has betrayed her, Glennon must decide whether she will ever trust him again and if she even wants to try.
As Glennon and her husband work on their relationship, we learn a great deal about what it means to be authentic, to be real with one another. Glenn takes us along on her exploration of who she is and her discovery of what it means to be someone's intimate partner. She learns to love and accept herself and shed her masks. She connects with her body and discovers intimacy.
This is a truly brave, raw, honest look at her relationship with her Self, her Source, her children and her husband. It is inspiring because what she learns is something we can all apply to our lives and relationships. Here is what I have learned from Glennon:
1-Breathe and pay attention to the still voice inside you
2-You are loved and perfect as you are, nothing you can do will make you more loveable or less loveable
3-When you enter a relationship, both of you are loved and perfect, you can help each other grow by communicating honestly with each other and being present to one another
4-You need to identify your needs, respect them, take care of yourself and, ask your partner for what you need from him/her
5-You can be real and leave your representative (fake self behind)
6-You are a soul, a mind and a body, embrace all three aspects of yourself
7-When something happens to someone, the best thing you can do is acknowledge their pain and offer to be present (not fix or compare to someone else's story)
8-Be prepared to fully live this life, this means you will experience pain at times but you are a Warrior and you will survive it
9-Teach your children that they are loved and perfect as they are, show them how to express love in the world
10-We all suffer, don't pretend with others, be real and they can be real with you, no need to be lonely, reach out and tell the truth
This is one of those books that I inhaled. I will need to go over it again, slowly, because there is so much to learn from it. I feel inspired! If you are looking for a life-changing book, read this one.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 13 September 2016
Alcohol
September 13th, 2016
I have never been a drinker. Growing up, my grandmother and her siblings liked to play cards and drink. I loved the sound of everyone talking, joking and laughing. There was an easy camaraderie among them as they drank, played and smoked. I was too young to play cards or to drink. I don't know where I was or what I was doing while this was happening but I know it all seemed like fun.
I spent a great deal of time with my maternal grandmother. She was very feisty and funny but she spent her days cooking and cleaning. I once asked her what she would have done for a living if she was born in my generation. She answered that she would have cleaned-her own house, other homes, hotels, condos, she just loves to clean and she couldn't imagine herself doing anything else.
There are two skills that my grandmother taught me. She encouraged me to whistle. My grandfather believed that little girls shouldn't whistle. This, of course, made my grandmother insist that I become a great whistler. She also taught me to pour a beer properly. If you tilt the glass and the bottle as you pour the beer, you get less head and more beer. I needed this skill to do a good job pouring her beer every evening. She drank a beer (or two) every night until she died at the ripe age of 100. To this day, every time I smell beer, I am reminded of my grandmother's breath. She used to burp under her breath as she spoke to me and a waft of beer stench would follow. My husband loves beer and it is the biggest turn off for me when he has a beer and comes over for a kiss. It's like kissing my grandma, yuck!
A few years ago, we were at a cottage in Dunrobin. A few doors up from us, our neighbours were playing games like horseshoe and bean bag toss. It reminded me of my grandma and her siblings only, this time, I was invited. I was so excited to be part of the fun. I had a ginger ale and joined the game. About an hour into the game, my husband said we should get back, we had to let the dog out or some other excuse. I thanked them for a fun time and we headed back to our cottage. When we got back, I asked him why he wanted to leave. He explained that some people get happy when they drink and others get nasty. Our host was part of the latter group. I hadn't noticed this but he told me she was making remarks and getting meaner as she drank. He imagined that they would be fighting before long.
My husband comes from a family of drinkers as well. While my loved ones got louder, rowdier, his family members went from holding in their quiet rage to exploding into fist fights, spewing angry, hurtful words. He knew the signs. He had learned to notice the first indications that emotions were escalating. This was a survival tool for him during his childhood, it gave him a head start so he could run and hide before things got ugly.
People drink for different reasons. They may be shy and feel more confident once they've had a drink. They could use it to numb the pain of abuse or in order to belong to a group. One study linked loneliness to addiction. This made me think. No matter what happens in life, it seems more manageable through the support of loved ones. You are no longer alone. That is the whole point of self-help books and support groups. You see that you are not alone and you learn what others have done to get through their own hard times. This gives you hope that you can also overcome your hardship and live a better life.
What if there is no support in your life? What if you are a child and the dangers lurk in your home? How would you know that you can reach out and get help? You would expect other adults to respond just as your parents, aunts and uncles do. This leads to perceived helplessness and the cycle of addiction begins. You don't think anyone else would understand. You can't image that others would care. You perceive yourself as helpless to create anything better for your life. What's left? Numbing your pain. You drink and, suddenly, nothing matters. It doesn't hurt anymore and, as long as you stay drunk, you'll be ok. You can't have anyone challenge your behaviours, drinking "works" for you. You don't want to live without it, it would be too painful so you build a network of friends who also drink, you find your niche. You walk into bars and you belong. You just sit, drink and exchange stories.
The point of this post is twofold. If you have are addicted to alcohol, know that there is support out there, that you can live a better life, one that doesn't depend on staying numb. You deserve to be loved and live your life to the fullest. There is a reason you are here. It could be that what has happened to you, the source of your pain, is precisely why you are here. You are meant to rise above it and help others.
My second point is, if you love someone who is addicted to alcohol, shaming or controlling alcohol consumption will never work. Find the pain at the core of this addiction. Gather a group of individuals to inspire your loved one. This can be support groups, AA meetings, biographies of people who have recovered from alcohol or, self-help books that have a step by step process to make better choices and develop healthier habits.
You also need to take care of yourself. Never accept abuse from anyone. Whether you love someone who has a mental illness or an addiction, self-care is a must. Setting strong boundaries teaches your loved one about healthy relationships and ensures that you are safe. Do not isolate yourself, reach out and get support. Everything is easier when it is shared.
Anne Walsh
www,artnsoul.org
I have never been a drinker. Growing up, my grandmother and her siblings liked to play cards and drink. I loved the sound of everyone talking, joking and laughing. There was an easy camaraderie among them as they drank, played and smoked. I was too young to play cards or to drink. I don't know where I was or what I was doing while this was happening but I know it all seemed like fun.
I spent a great deal of time with my maternal grandmother. She was very feisty and funny but she spent her days cooking and cleaning. I once asked her what she would have done for a living if she was born in my generation. She answered that she would have cleaned-her own house, other homes, hotels, condos, she just loves to clean and she couldn't imagine herself doing anything else.
There are two skills that my grandmother taught me. She encouraged me to whistle. My grandfather believed that little girls shouldn't whistle. This, of course, made my grandmother insist that I become a great whistler. She also taught me to pour a beer properly. If you tilt the glass and the bottle as you pour the beer, you get less head and more beer. I needed this skill to do a good job pouring her beer every evening. She drank a beer (or two) every night until she died at the ripe age of 100. To this day, every time I smell beer, I am reminded of my grandmother's breath. She used to burp under her breath as she spoke to me and a waft of beer stench would follow. My husband loves beer and it is the biggest turn off for me when he has a beer and comes over for a kiss. It's like kissing my grandma, yuck!
A few years ago, we were at a cottage in Dunrobin. A few doors up from us, our neighbours were playing games like horseshoe and bean bag toss. It reminded me of my grandma and her siblings only, this time, I was invited. I was so excited to be part of the fun. I had a ginger ale and joined the game. About an hour into the game, my husband said we should get back, we had to let the dog out or some other excuse. I thanked them for a fun time and we headed back to our cottage. When we got back, I asked him why he wanted to leave. He explained that some people get happy when they drink and others get nasty. Our host was part of the latter group. I hadn't noticed this but he told me she was making remarks and getting meaner as she drank. He imagined that they would be fighting before long.
My husband comes from a family of drinkers as well. While my loved ones got louder, rowdier, his family members went from holding in their quiet rage to exploding into fist fights, spewing angry, hurtful words. He knew the signs. He had learned to notice the first indications that emotions were escalating. This was a survival tool for him during his childhood, it gave him a head start so he could run and hide before things got ugly.
People drink for different reasons. They may be shy and feel more confident once they've had a drink. They could use it to numb the pain of abuse or in order to belong to a group. One study linked loneliness to addiction. This made me think. No matter what happens in life, it seems more manageable through the support of loved ones. You are no longer alone. That is the whole point of self-help books and support groups. You see that you are not alone and you learn what others have done to get through their own hard times. This gives you hope that you can also overcome your hardship and live a better life.
What if there is no support in your life? What if you are a child and the dangers lurk in your home? How would you know that you can reach out and get help? You would expect other adults to respond just as your parents, aunts and uncles do. This leads to perceived helplessness and the cycle of addiction begins. You don't think anyone else would understand. You can't image that others would care. You perceive yourself as helpless to create anything better for your life. What's left? Numbing your pain. You drink and, suddenly, nothing matters. It doesn't hurt anymore and, as long as you stay drunk, you'll be ok. You can't have anyone challenge your behaviours, drinking "works" for you. You don't want to live without it, it would be too painful so you build a network of friends who also drink, you find your niche. You walk into bars and you belong. You just sit, drink and exchange stories.
The point of this post is twofold. If you have are addicted to alcohol, know that there is support out there, that you can live a better life, one that doesn't depend on staying numb. You deserve to be loved and live your life to the fullest. There is a reason you are here. It could be that what has happened to you, the source of your pain, is precisely why you are here. You are meant to rise above it and help others.
My second point is, if you love someone who is addicted to alcohol, shaming or controlling alcohol consumption will never work. Find the pain at the core of this addiction. Gather a group of individuals to inspire your loved one. This can be support groups, AA meetings, biographies of people who have recovered from alcohol or, self-help books that have a step by step process to make better choices and develop healthier habits.
You also need to take care of yourself. Never accept abuse from anyone. Whether you love someone who has a mental illness or an addiction, self-care is a must. Setting strong boundaries teaches your loved one about healthy relationships and ensures that you are safe. Do not isolate yourself, reach out and get support. Everything is easier when it is shared.
Anne Walsh
www,artnsoul.org
Thursday, 8 September 2016
Religion and Spirituality
September 8th, 2016
My grandmother was never very religious. When her children were young, they would all go to Church on Sundays but as the children got older the tradition came to a halt. My grandfather gave a lot of money to the Church and he helped out every Sunday. One day he was battling a flu and didn't think he could go to mass. He didn't want to let the priest down so he had a bit of Brandy in milk before he left. He confessed to the priest that he had done this and, when the time came to receive communion, the priest refused to give my grandfather the Holy Host. He never went to Church after that.
Growing up, my mother did not talk about God. She wasn't a believer. We went to Church for a few years because my Aunt Mary and Uncle Paul would pick us up, take us to Sunday Service and treat us to a meal at the Ponderosa Steakhouse afterwards. We were poor and starving so we sat through Church in order to eat every Sunday. When their own son had children, Paul and Mary stopped coming to see us and our routine of attending Church ended.
In my first year of University, I was approached by Campus Crusade for Christ during orientation. They were asking students to fill in their contact information. The hallways were packed. I couldn't go anywhere and this woman with a kind face asked for my phone number. I took the paper thinking I would write the wrong number. To my surprise, I wrote the right one. Then I thought if I could walk forwards just a little bit, I could ball up my paper and throw it in the bin. The lady with the sweet face took the paper out of my hands. I figured I would just tell her I wasn't interested when she called. About eight weeks into the semester, I realized they hadn't called me yet, I was sort of miffed about it. I don't know why. When the call came, I agreed to meet with Laurie, the kind lady. I was curious.
She gave me a copy of the new testament and showed me the diagram of how I had been saved. She informed me that God had a plan for me and all I had to do was accept Jesus into my life. I read the entire New Testament and I became involved with Campus Crusade for a few years. The feeling of having a purpose, of being on the right track and belonging to a group appealed to me. I was on a mission. I met some great people and became quite spiritual. I tried going to Church but the Catholic Church sermons bored me. They were mechanical and the rituals felt empty. I went to a Pentecostal Church with Laurie. I enjoyed meeting her friends but the sermon did not move me. There was an Anglican Church close to the University. I tried it and it was my favourite. They served actual bread and wine during the service which felt more authentic. People lingered after the sermon to have coffee and dessert in the basement. I ended up in the kitchen cleaning dishes with a group of women. I didn't feel judged which was in sharp contrast to every other Church experience I'd ever had. The people there chatted, seeming happy to see one another. They weren't gossipy.
I was quite religious for a few years. I took an elective in University on the religions of the world. Buddhism and Taoism intrigued me. Their statements were very philosophical and I could see their practical applications in everyday life. Over the years, I have come to my own understanding and mix of beliefs. I don't take my daughters to Church but I teach them to be kind to people. I talk about death and angels, energy and spirit. I answer their questions to the best of my ability and let them know that other people believe other things. I encourage them to think for themselves, ask questions, try out prayer, mediation, gratitude journals, yoga and communicating with their Guardian Angels.
It used to be if you didn't go to Church you went to Hell, everyone knew and feared it. This resulted in watching each other, judging one another and being hypocritical to convince others that we were a righteous disciple. The Church can be a great place for some where they feel welcomed, take comfort in the rituals and spend time communing with God, family and community. However, more than ever now, people are turning away from the rigidity of religion. They are either deciding to believe in nothing or science or, to develop their own mix of spirituality, borrowing from different belief systems.
I still consider myself to be a spiritual person. I believe that we are all here for a reason, that people and situations are in our lives for a reason and that synchronicity exists to let us know we are on the right track. I pray for help or guidance before I meet with clients or if I am struggling in my personal life. I meditate and keep a gratitude log in my journal. I do my best to be kind and to help others when I have the opportunity to do so. Each religion promotes love and kindness, the only difference is in how this is expressed. The saddest thing ever is when two individuals fight over their beliefs and harm one another. I love that we live in a country where we can decide what to believe and still be friends with others who have different spiritual convictions. Go with whatever makes you a calmer, more loving and fulfilled person.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
My grandmother was never very religious. When her children were young, they would all go to Church on Sundays but as the children got older the tradition came to a halt. My grandfather gave a lot of money to the Church and he helped out every Sunday. One day he was battling a flu and didn't think he could go to mass. He didn't want to let the priest down so he had a bit of Brandy in milk before he left. He confessed to the priest that he had done this and, when the time came to receive communion, the priest refused to give my grandfather the Holy Host. He never went to Church after that.
Growing up, my mother did not talk about God. She wasn't a believer. We went to Church for a few years because my Aunt Mary and Uncle Paul would pick us up, take us to Sunday Service and treat us to a meal at the Ponderosa Steakhouse afterwards. We were poor and starving so we sat through Church in order to eat every Sunday. When their own son had children, Paul and Mary stopped coming to see us and our routine of attending Church ended.
In my first year of University, I was approached by Campus Crusade for Christ during orientation. They were asking students to fill in their contact information. The hallways were packed. I couldn't go anywhere and this woman with a kind face asked for my phone number. I took the paper thinking I would write the wrong number. To my surprise, I wrote the right one. Then I thought if I could walk forwards just a little bit, I could ball up my paper and throw it in the bin. The lady with the sweet face took the paper out of my hands. I figured I would just tell her I wasn't interested when she called. About eight weeks into the semester, I realized they hadn't called me yet, I was sort of miffed about it. I don't know why. When the call came, I agreed to meet with Laurie, the kind lady. I was curious.
She gave me a copy of the new testament and showed me the diagram of how I had been saved. She informed me that God had a plan for me and all I had to do was accept Jesus into my life. I read the entire New Testament and I became involved with Campus Crusade for a few years. The feeling of having a purpose, of being on the right track and belonging to a group appealed to me. I was on a mission. I met some great people and became quite spiritual. I tried going to Church but the Catholic Church sermons bored me. They were mechanical and the rituals felt empty. I went to a Pentecostal Church with Laurie. I enjoyed meeting her friends but the sermon did not move me. There was an Anglican Church close to the University. I tried it and it was my favourite. They served actual bread and wine during the service which felt more authentic. People lingered after the sermon to have coffee and dessert in the basement. I ended up in the kitchen cleaning dishes with a group of women. I didn't feel judged which was in sharp contrast to every other Church experience I'd ever had. The people there chatted, seeming happy to see one another. They weren't gossipy.
I was quite religious for a few years. I took an elective in University on the religions of the world. Buddhism and Taoism intrigued me. Their statements were very philosophical and I could see their practical applications in everyday life. Over the years, I have come to my own understanding and mix of beliefs. I don't take my daughters to Church but I teach them to be kind to people. I talk about death and angels, energy and spirit. I answer their questions to the best of my ability and let them know that other people believe other things. I encourage them to think for themselves, ask questions, try out prayer, mediation, gratitude journals, yoga and communicating with their Guardian Angels.
It used to be if you didn't go to Church you went to Hell, everyone knew and feared it. This resulted in watching each other, judging one another and being hypocritical to convince others that we were a righteous disciple. The Church can be a great place for some where they feel welcomed, take comfort in the rituals and spend time communing with God, family and community. However, more than ever now, people are turning away from the rigidity of religion. They are either deciding to believe in nothing or science or, to develop their own mix of spirituality, borrowing from different belief systems.
I still consider myself to be a spiritual person. I believe that we are all here for a reason, that people and situations are in our lives for a reason and that synchronicity exists to let us know we are on the right track. I pray for help or guidance before I meet with clients or if I am struggling in my personal life. I meditate and keep a gratitude log in my journal. I do my best to be kind and to help others when I have the opportunity to do so. Each religion promotes love and kindness, the only difference is in how this is expressed. The saddest thing ever is when two individuals fight over their beliefs and harm one another. I love that we live in a country where we can decide what to believe and still be friends with others who have different spiritual convictions. Go with whatever makes you a calmer, more loving and fulfilled person.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 13 June 2016
Book of the Week-Life Loves You
June 13th, 2016
As I sat at my computer to write today's post, I caught a glimpse of my post counter-this is my 100th post. Hooray! This has been an interesting adventure so far. Only a handful of people have read it and that's ok. I am still learning about blogging and I am treating it like an extension of my journal. I explore topics of interest to me and try to stick to my commitment to write every weekday. Initially, I planned to write seven days a week and have a specific topic each day but that didn't work for me. Weekends are for family and if I am grumpy because I haven't been able to write my blog, that has a negative impact on my loved ones. They are the most important people in my life. Hence the decision to only write on weekdays. I also write about whatever comes to mind. Otherwise I am trying to research a topic or pin down a 40+ year old woman for an interview. I am enjoying this pace and I think a few topics will emerge over time. I may end up with a very different blog by the time the year is over. So, on with today's post...
I wanted to share Life Loves You by Louise Hay and Robert Holden. I heard about this book when I tuned into the Hay House Summit. Robert Holden is one of the interviewers for the summit and he mentioned the book a few times. I saw the book at Shopper's Drug Mart a week or two after the summit. It caught my eye and I took it home.
The book documents conversations between Robert Holden and Louise Hay. The premise of the book is that life shouldn't be painful. This doesn't mean there are no obstacles but we stop struggling and try to understand what is happening instead. Each chapter shows us how to love ourselves and live our best lives with lessons, quotes, a look into the interactions between Robert and Louise and, finally, my favourite part, some practical activities to act on this new knowledge.
Louise is known for her mirror work. The book starts with the use of mirror work to boost our feelings of self-love. In her practice, she sits in front of a full-length mirror with clients. She says people struggle to look at themselves and say: "I love you!". The first step is becoming comfortable in our own presence.
In chapter 2, we add affirmations that empower us to believe in our worthiness. Readers learn to say yes to life by surrendering their struggle and tapping into their wisdom. I love affirmations. I learned many of them from other books by Louise Hay. Here is my favourite affirmation from You Can Heal Your Life, "The more love I use and give, the more I have to give. The supply is endless." and "I earn good money doing what satisfies me". The first time I read these affirmations, they felt so good in my heart, my body vibrated. They get transferred from one journal to the next because I don't want to ever forget them.
Chapter 3 was a very fun adventure, becoming aware of what brings me joy and creating a visual representation of it as if it were already true in the present. I have my vision board in my walk-in closet. I see it every day when I am getting dressed and I look at it every night before bed.
In the fourth chapter, we are guided to recognize when we fell out of love with ourselves as well as everything we have come to believe about our life and our role in our own story. The reader is encouraged to forgive others and him/herself in order to thrive and fulfill his/her destiny. This was a heavy chapter and I had to take a breather here.
The following chapter was all about gratitude, a topic that is gaining popularity. Last year, I discovered the power of gratitude when I started writing down ten things I was thankful for and why in my journal every day. I had to say thank you out loud as I read what I had wrote. This activity did more than make me feel good. It changed my interactions and attracted opportunities into my life at a ridiculous speed. If you are feeling stuck right now, try this out and see where it leads.
Next, we are taught how to receive. If the universe is abundant, you are loved and you are worthy then all you need to do is say yes and remain open in order to receive. I first realized that I was not able to receive when I was in Toronto studying to become an art therapist. I had noticed years earlier when I was doing theatre that I found it easier to exhale than to inhale. This became significant as I analyzed my personality. I realized I thrive on doing special things for others. However, I have a difficult time letting others do stuff for me. I am very self-sufficient and that feels safe to me. I know I won't let myself down but it doesn't give loved ones the satisfaction of loving me back. When we had our car accident two years ago, I was concussed and I relied on my mother and husband to help me. I had to say no to my daughters. The experience helped me to see that my relationships were out of balance. I have recently explored my blockages when it comes to receiving money. I have worked on those as well. Life is fascinating, always a journey.
The final chapter encourages us to feel safe and loved enough to pour our love back into the world. We are guided through a meditation that helps us bless everyone from our loved ones to our enemies and extending out into the universe.
I thoroughly loved this book. It sets a good pace, is an easy read and leaves you feeling giddy with love. Blessing to all of you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
As I sat at my computer to write today's post, I caught a glimpse of my post counter-this is my 100th post. Hooray! This has been an interesting adventure so far. Only a handful of people have read it and that's ok. I am still learning about blogging and I am treating it like an extension of my journal. I explore topics of interest to me and try to stick to my commitment to write every weekday. Initially, I planned to write seven days a week and have a specific topic each day but that didn't work for me. Weekends are for family and if I am grumpy because I haven't been able to write my blog, that has a negative impact on my loved ones. They are the most important people in my life. Hence the decision to only write on weekdays. I also write about whatever comes to mind. Otherwise I am trying to research a topic or pin down a 40+ year old woman for an interview. I am enjoying this pace and I think a few topics will emerge over time. I may end up with a very different blog by the time the year is over. So, on with today's post...
I wanted to share Life Loves You by Louise Hay and Robert Holden. I heard about this book when I tuned into the Hay House Summit. Robert Holden is one of the interviewers for the summit and he mentioned the book a few times. I saw the book at Shopper's Drug Mart a week or two after the summit. It caught my eye and I took it home.
The book documents conversations between Robert Holden and Louise Hay. The premise of the book is that life shouldn't be painful. This doesn't mean there are no obstacles but we stop struggling and try to understand what is happening instead. Each chapter shows us how to love ourselves and live our best lives with lessons, quotes, a look into the interactions between Robert and Louise and, finally, my favourite part, some practical activities to act on this new knowledge.
Louise is known for her mirror work. The book starts with the use of mirror work to boost our feelings of self-love. In her practice, she sits in front of a full-length mirror with clients. She says people struggle to look at themselves and say: "I love you!". The first step is becoming comfortable in our own presence.
In chapter 2, we add affirmations that empower us to believe in our worthiness. Readers learn to say yes to life by surrendering their struggle and tapping into their wisdom. I love affirmations. I learned many of them from other books by Louise Hay. Here is my favourite affirmation from You Can Heal Your Life, "The more love I use and give, the more I have to give. The supply is endless." and "I earn good money doing what satisfies me". The first time I read these affirmations, they felt so good in my heart, my body vibrated. They get transferred from one journal to the next because I don't want to ever forget them.
Chapter 3 was a very fun adventure, becoming aware of what brings me joy and creating a visual representation of it as if it were already true in the present. I have my vision board in my walk-in closet. I see it every day when I am getting dressed and I look at it every night before bed.
In the fourth chapter, we are guided to recognize when we fell out of love with ourselves as well as everything we have come to believe about our life and our role in our own story. The reader is encouraged to forgive others and him/herself in order to thrive and fulfill his/her destiny. This was a heavy chapter and I had to take a breather here.
The following chapter was all about gratitude, a topic that is gaining popularity. Last year, I discovered the power of gratitude when I started writing down ten things I was thankful for and why in my journal every day. I had to say thank you out loud as I read what I had wrote. This activity did more than make me feel good. It changed my interactions and attracted opportunities into my life at a ridiculous speed. If you are feeling stuck right now, try this out and see where it leads.
Next, we are taught how to receive. If the universe is abundant, you are loved and you are worthy then all you need to do is say yes and remain open in order to receive. I first realized that I was not able to receive when I was in Toronto studying to become an art therapist. I had noticed years earlier when I was doing theatre that I found it easier to exhale than to inhale. This became significant as I analyzed my personality. I realized I thrive on doing special things for others. However, I have a difficult time letting others do stuff for me. I am very self-sufficient and that feels safe to me. I know I won't let myself down but it doesn't give loved ones the satisfaction of loving me back. When we had our car accident two years ago, I was concussed and I relied on my mother and husband to help me. I had to say no to my daughters. The experience helped me to see that my relationships were out of balance. I have recently explored my blockages when it comes to receiving money. I have worked on those as well. Life is fascinating, always a journey.
The final chapter encourages us to feel safe and loved enough to pour our love back into the world. We are guided through a meditation that helps us bless everyone from our loved ones to our enemies and extending out into the universe.
I thoroughly loved this book. It sets a good pace, is an easy read and leaves you feeling giddy with love. Blessing to all of you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 10 June 2016
Thank You Teachers!
June 10th, 2016
The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.
Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.
Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.
I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.
My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.
We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.
Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.
Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.
I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.
My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.
We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Friday, 18 March 2016
Claire Charron
March 18th, 2016
Today is a special day, my mother, Claire Charron, was born 67 years ago today. I will be visiting her with my daughters. We'll bring her back to our home and spend the weekend together. When I was young, I loved my mother because she was my mom. Eventually, I heard about the hardships she had faced when she had me and was pressured to abort me. Needless to say, she chose to keep me but her family and friends rejected her. She faced many years alone, shamed for having a dark child and for being a single mom.
She worked hard to provide a home and to fill our bellies every day. I often tease her about her culinary adventures. We ate Spam, Click, Cam, and mac n cheese without the cheese (she only used a sprinkling of cheese which made it sooo gross). Once in a while, when she was feeling rich, she would buy balony and fry it in a pan, she served it with melted, fried cheddar and a can of corn. It was a gastronomical leap forward and I would dance for joy!
Now that I am older, I love my mom because I recognize that she is a compassionate human being. She doesn't judge people. When I hung out with punk rockers with black, spiked hair and piercings, she treated them with the same respect as anyone else. I watched her working at the reception of a long term care facility. She listened to the stories of the many lonely residents who came to visit her even though she had lots of work to do with multiple deadlines. When she walked away from her desk to deliver important papers to managers, I saw her kneel next to every resident who wanted to talk to her so she could be at eye level with them. She eventually obtained a degree in palliative care and she currently volunteers at Montfort Hospital, sitting with residents who are anxious or lonely. She supports families who are grieving as well.
As a mother, I have a new respect for the challenges she must have faced when she was alone and unprepared for the responsibilities of parenthood. She worked hard and gave me what she could. We went through many experiences together. What I love about my mother is that she loves unconditionally. When I wanted to move to Montreal for my studies, she was very sad. She loved having me with her. However, she encouraged me to go for it. Whenever I make a decision, she supports me and dosent not try to give me advice. As I raise my children, I am sure she doesn't always agree with my approach but she keeps it to herself. She lets me carve out my own path, follow my gut and parent as I see fit.
In my career, she is the first to celebrate my accomplishments and, when I fail, she is there to hear me vent and pray for me. She visits our children every week, draws with them and listens to their stories. She has their art plastered all over her refrigerator. She logs their funny comments in her journal. She loves reading self-help books and is always learning something new.
Today I celebrate my mom for her simplicity, her sense of humour, her unconditional love and compassion. Hope you have a great day mom! I love you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today is a special day, my mother, Claire Charron, was born 67 years ago today. I will be visiting her with my daughters. We'll bring her back to our home and spend the weekend together. When I was young, I loved my mother because she was my mom. Eventually, I heard about the hardships she had faced when she had me and was pressured to abort me. Needless to say, she chose to keep me but her family and friends rejected her. She faced many years alone, shamed for having a dark child and for being a single mom.
She worked hard to provide a home and to fill our bellies every day. I often tease her about her culinary adventures. We ate Spam, Click, Cam, and mac n cheese without the cheese (she only used a sprinkling of cheese which made it sooo gross). Once in a while, when she was feeling rich, she would buy balony and fry it in a pan, she served it with melted, fried cheddar and a can of corn. It was a gastronomical leap forward and I would dance for joy!
Now that I am older, I love my mom because I recognize that she is a compassionate human being. She doesn't judge people. When I hung out with punk rockers with black, spiked hair and piercings, she treated them with the same respect as anyone else. I watched her working at the reception of a long term care facility. She listened to the stories of the many lonely residents who came to visit her even though she had lots of work to do with multiple deadlines. When she walked away from her desk to deliver important papers to managers, I saw her kneel next to every resident who wanted to talk to her so she could be at eye level with them. She eventually obtained a degree in palliative care and she currently volunteers at Montfort Hospital, sitting with residents who are anxious or lonely. She supports families who are grieving as well.
As a mother, I have a new respect for the challenges she must have faced when she was alone and unprepared for the responsibilities of parenthood. She worked hard and gave me what she could. We went through many experiences together. What I love about my mother is that she loves unconditionally. When I wanted to move to Montreal for my studies, she was very sad. She loved having me with her. However, she encouraged me to go for it. Whenever I make a decision, she supports me and dosent not try to give me advice. As I raise my children, I am sure she doesn't always agree with my approach but she keeps it to herself. She lets me carve out my own path, follow my gut and parent as I see fit.
In my career, she is the first to celebrate my accomplishments and, when I fail, she is there to hear me vent and pray for me. She visits our children every week, draws with them and listens to their stories. She has their art plastered all over her refrigerator. She logs their funny comments in her journal. She loves reading self-help books and is always learning something new.
Today I celebrate my mom for her simplicity, her sense of humour, her unconditional love and compassion. Hope you have a great day mom! I love you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Sunday, 28 February 2016
Book of the Week-The Power
February 27th, 2016
I have been reading The Power by Rhonda Byrne because, when I was browsing the books available at the public library, its bright orange cover caught my eye. As I began reading this book, I recognized many of the concepts from The Secret: you have a choice every day whether to focus on the positive aspects of your life or not and, based on this decision, you will either get more positive experiences or negative ones. Whatever you give to others comes back to you so you need to be mindful of what you think, say and do to others. Your thoughts affect your feelings.
We think we are reacting to what has happened to us but the universe responds to us and our feelings are a strong magnet. Whatever we feel most intensely about is what will be increased in our life. There is no distinction between whether we are a good person or a bad person, whether this is a good feeling or a bad one. Strong feeling equals attraction. When you feel anger for someone, you are bringing more of them in your life because of the intensity of your feelings. She suggests noticing what you love and focusing on that. List the people, places, activities, objects you love, notice them in your environment and this is what will grow, opportunities to spend time with those people, visit those places or obtain these objects. Your feelings are a frequency like a radio station and you attract people and circumstances that match this frequency. I you want to bring different people and experiences in your life, adjust your frequency.
Rhonda explains that we are co-creators with the universe. We must be able to imagine what we want. What would it feel like to be this way, to do this, to have this? Once you are clear about what you want and what that would look like, you need to feel as though it were true. She encourages people to surround themselves with cues that their desires have manifested. If you want to go on a trip, you don't focus on the fact that you can'y afford it. Instead, you search the internet for hotels and save a few options on your Favourites page, you buy your swimsuit and sunglasses, you wear sunscreen every day so you smell like you are on holidays, you visualize the warm sand and salty sea air. You tell people how much you love that place and list everything you love about it. You may even print off a photo of your destination and stick it on your fridge. The possibility of going there feels more and more real. Your love for this place and your visualization become a magnet, drawing this experience closer to you.
I don't know if you ever watched Seinfeld. In one episode, George started a program to help reduce his stress. Whenever he had a negative thought, he would stop himself and repeat the words: Serenity Now. By the end of the episode he had a full on nervous breakdown. The author clarifies that there is no need to resist or fear negativity. You are not trying to suppress negative feelings, you just don't amplify them. You focus on what you want and what you love to increase your frequency so your energy matches your desires and you become a magnet for it. Negativity can exist but it doesn't dominate your thoughts, your are too busy imagining the positive outcomes. She describes an exercise to help you release your negative feelings. You imagine that each negative emotion is a wild horse that you climb onto and ride. Then you can choose to get off the horse.
Rhonda emphasizes that we are good enough now. We don't need to work harder, be skinnier, smarter, more of anything, we are fabulous as we are and life is our catalogue. We just need to choose what we want and keep loving it. If we concentrate on our lack, as in, "I would love to do that but I'm broke so it's never going to happen", then we are creating that story for our life, we associate bad feelings to that experience therefore we repel it. She warns against feeling envious of others who have achieved what we are striving to accomplish or feeling discouraged by our lack of results. These further associate negative feelings to our desires, placing them out of our reach.
In order to elevate your frequency, you need to feel as much love as possible for yourself, the people in your life and as many aspects of your life as possible. Gratitude is an expression of love so when you say thank you or you take time to acknowledge how important someone is to you, you are spreading love all around you. Life should be fun so if you focus on what you enjoy and spend time feeding your imagination with your desires while appreciating what you have, this is the key to success. This is true for money, health matters, work and relationships.
This is a feel-good book and it may seem a bit simplistic, just pick what you want from the catalogue, visualize it and send love to it and, presto, you get it. However, I do believe there is power in focusing on what you want, feeling it with every sense so you can imagine your life as it would be if your desires were manifested, watching your negative self-talk, writing down ten things you are grateful for each day and creating a vision board so you can visualize what your ideal life would look like. Is it all baloney? I will try it out and report back. Let's see what happens.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I have been reading The Power by Rhonda Byrne because, when I was browsing the books available at the public library, its bright orange cover caught my eye. As I began reading this book, I recognized many of the concepts from The Secret: you have a choice every day whether to focus on the positive aspects of your life or not and, based on this decision, you will either get more positive experiences or negative ones. Whatever you give to others comes back to you so you need to be mindful of what you think, say and do to others. Your thoughts affect your feelings.
We think we are reacting to what has happened to us but the universe responds to us and our feelings are a strong magnet. Whatever we feel most intensely about is what will be increased in our life. There is no distinction between whether we are a good person or a bad person, whether this is a good feeling or a bad one. Strong feeling equals attraction. When you feel anger for someone, you are bringing more of them in your life because of the intensity of your feelings. She suggests noticing what you love and focusing on that. List the people, places, activities, objects you love, notice them in your environment and this is what will grow, opportunities to spend time with those people, visit those places or obtain these objects. Your feelings are a frequency like a radio station and you attract people and circumstances that match this frequency. I you want to bring different people and experiences in your life, adjust your frequency.
Rhonda explains that we are co-creators with the universe. We must be able to imagine what we want. What would it feel like to be this way, to do this, to have this? Once you are clear about what you want and what that would look like, you need to feel as though it were true. She encourages people to surround themselves with cues that their desires have manifested. If you want to go on a trip, you don't focus on the fact that you can'y afford it. Instead, you search the internet for hotels and save a few options on your Favourites page, you buy your swimsuit and sunglasses, you wear sunscreen every day so you smell like you are on holidays, you visualize the warm sand and salty sea air. You tell people how much you love that place and list everything you love about it. You may even print off a photo of your destination and stick it on your fridge. The possibility of going there feels more and more real. Your love for this place and your visualization become a magnet, drawing this experience closer to you.
I don't know if you ever watched Seinfeld. In one episode, George started a program to help reduce his stress. Whenever he had a negative thought, he would stop himself and repeat the words: Serenity Now. By the end of the episode he had a full on nervous breakdown. The author clarifies that there is no need to resist or fear negativity. You are not trying to suppress negative feelings, you just don't amplify them. You focus on what you want and what you love to increase your frequency so your energy matches your desires and you become a magnet for it. Negativity can exist but it doesn't dominate your thoughts, your are too busy imagining the positive outcomes. She describes an exercise to help you release your negative feelings. You imagine that each negative emotion is a wild horse that you climb onto and ride. Then you can choose to get off the horse.
Rhonda emphasizes that we are good enough now. We don't need to work harder, be skinnier, smarter, more of anything, we are fabulous as we are and life is our catalogue. We just need to choose what we want and keep loving it. If we concentrate on our lack, as in, "I would love to do that but I'm broke so it's never going to happen", then we are creating that story for our life, we associate bad feelings to that experience therefore we repel it. She warns against feeling envious of others who have achieved what we are striving to accomplish or feeling discouraged by our lack of results. These further associate negative feelings to our desires, placing them out of our reach.
In order to elevate your frequency, you need to feel as much love as possible for yourself, the people in your life and as many aspects of your life as possible. Gratitude is an expression of love so when you say thank you or you take time to acknowledge how important someone is to you, you are spreading love all around you. Life should be fun so if you focus on what you enjoy and spend time feeding your imagination with your desires while appreciating what you have, this is the key to success. This is true for money, health matters, work and relationships.
This is a feel-good book and it may seem a bit simplistic, just pick what you want from the catalogue, visualize it and send love to it and, presto, you get it. However, I do believe there is power in focusing on what you want, feeling it with every sense so you can imagine your life as it would be if your desires were manifested, watching your negative self-talk, writing down ten things you are grateful for each day and creating a vision board so you can visualize what your ideal life would look like. Is it all baloney? I will try it out and report back. Let's see what happens.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Sunday, 14 February 2016
Love in Long Term Care
February 14th, 2016
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
We associate Valentine's Day with romance, couples who are madly in love. We have all these ideas about what that love looks like: a romantic dinner, flowers, hot new lingerie and wild sex, holding hands, kissing, hugging, snuggling in front of a roaring fireplace, drinking champagne...roll the footage. I'd like to share some stories of real love I witnessed in long term care.
The nursing staff and personal support workers love their residents. They know them intimately and care for them every day. Despite a lot of media attention on staff who are abusive to residents, the majority of the staff I knew were caring individuals who went beyond the call of duty to ensure their residents were comfortable and happy. I have watched big, beefy men hold the hand of a frail elderly lady while feeding her at lunch time. She eats really slowly and has to stop often because she gets tired or chokes on her food. I see him rub her back, take his time and chat with her as he would with his own mom.
What about the nurse who is walking around the lounge of the locked unit? She is administering meds. Most of these residents are non-verbal. They look bored and withdrawn. She plays music and waltzes with the residents and she makes her way across the room. They are happy to see this nurse and their faces light up as she dances with them or teases them.
The maintenance worker who stops working and sits next to a lonely elderly man. He is anxious and rubs his hands together. He says he feels useless and has nothing to do. The maintenance worker says he needs company. The elderly man walks with him as he cleans, they talk about hockey, travelling, children, music. I hear them laughing down the hall. Once a week, this employee stays late to play cards in this resident's room.
The ladies at reception who take a moment to hear all about a resident's worries about her family. One resident needs new underwear but her son, who uses her money to support his drinking habit, won't pay for them. The ladies each pitch in and put money into her account so she can order new underwear from a catalogue.
The recreation staff who celebrate every birthday, help residents feel included and provide fun activities every day so residents have something to look forward to when they get out of bed every day. They bring a sweater so the resident won't be cold, they hold onto the walker as they stroll down the hall so the resident won't walk too fast and fall down, they involve family members so they visit more often and they organize activities that are meaningful to their residents.
I have watched elderly couples who have been through so much together. Theirs is a tender love: a peck on the cheek, holding hands, leaving their dessert for the partner who loves sweets, buttoning their partner's sweater because his arthritic fingers make it difficult, pushing the wheelchair to the dining room or to various activities. If the spouse doesn't live at the facility, seeing them come for a visit, bringing a treat, wearing their favorite sweater, helping them eat, taking them out for the day, all done with love and gentleness.
One year, I asked family members to share love stories about their loved ones. The response was immediate. I received stories expressing love for their parents who had loved and cared for them. Some stories were about how the parents met and fell in love. Other stories were about the daughter or sons deep love and respect for his/her parents. There were stories about a resident's love of art or nature, a passion for cooking, airplanes or fashion. The families really came through and each story was framed and hung next to the resident's room. It is beautiful to watch grown men and women be so loving and nurturing with their frail elderly parent. Whether they are feeding them, clothing them for an outing, pulling up a chair or helping them up, it is a beautiful sight.
There was a gentleman who was engaged to a beautiful young woman. She had a stroke and complications. She was admitted into long term care where she would live for the remainder of her life. She wasn't able to speak, she drooled and had to be fed. Her fiancé came to see her every day after work. He often brought her flowers or some kind of treat. They sat in the lounge together, holding hands.
People fear long term care facilities. They see them as cold institutional places but all of these stories happened there. It is where I witnessed love every day of the week.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
We associate Valentine's Day with romance, couples who are madly in love. We have all these ideas about what that love looks like: a romantic dinner, flowers, hot new lingerie and wild sex, holding hands, kissing, hugging, snuggling in front of a roaring fireplace, drinking champagne...roll the footage. I'd like to share some stories of real love I witnessed in long term care.
The nursing staff and personal support workers love their residents. They know them intimately and care for them every day. Despite a lot of media attention on staff who are abusive to residents, the majority of the staff I knew were caring individuals who went beyond the call of duty to ensure their residents were comfortable and happy. I have watched big, beefy men hold the hand of a frail elderly lady while feeding her at lunch time. She eats really slowly and has to stop often because she gets tired or chokes on her food. I see him rub her back, take his time and chat with her as he would with his own mom.
What about the nurse who is walking around the lounge of the locked unit? She is administering meds. Most of these residents are non-verbal. They look bored and withdrawn. She plays music and waltzes with the residents and she makes her way across the room. They are happy to see this nurse and their faces light up as she dances with them or teases them.
The maintenance worker who stops working and sits next to a lonely elderly man. He is anxious and rubs his hands together. He says he feels useless and has nothing to do. The maintenance worker says he needs company. The elderly man walks with him as he cleans, they talk about hockey, travelling, children, music. I hear them laughing down the hall. Once a week, this employee stays late to play cards in this resident's room.
The ladies at reception who take a moment to hear all about a resident's worries about her family. One resident needs new underwear but her son, who uses her money to support his drinking habit, won't pay for them. The ladies each pitch in and put money into her account so she can order new underwear from a catalogue.
The recreation staff who celebrate every birthday, help residents feel included and provide fun activities every day so residents have something to look forward to when they get out of bed every day. They bring a sweater so the resident won't be cold, they hold onto the walker as they stroll down the hall so the resident won't walk too fast and fall down, they involve family members so they visit more often and they organize activities that are meaningful to their residents.
I have watched elderly couples who have been through so much together. Theirs is a tender love: a peck on the cheek, holding hands, leaving their dessert for the partner who loves sweets, buttoning their partner's sweater because his arthritic fingers make it difficult, pushing the wheelchair to the dining room or to various activities. If the spouse doesn't live at the facility, seeing them come for a visit, bringing a treat, wearing their favorite sweater, helping them eat, taking them out for the day, all done with love and gentleness.
One year, I asked family members to share love stories about their loved ones. The response was immediate. I received stories expressing love for their parents who had loved and cared for them. Some stories were about how the parents met and fell in love. Other stories were about the daughter or sons deep love and respect for his/her parents. There were stories about a resident's love of art or nature, a passion for cooking, airplanes or fashion. The families really came through and each story was framed and hung next to the resident's room. It is beautiful to watch grown men and women be so loving and nurturing with their frail elderly parent. Whether they are feeding them, clothing them for an outing, pulling up a chair or helping them up, it is a beautiful sight.
There was a gentleman who was engaged to a beautiful young woman. She had a stroke and complications. She was admitted into long term care where she would live for the remainder of her life. She wasn't able to speak, she drooled and had to be fed. Her fiancé came to see her every day after work. He often brought her flowers or some kind of treat. They sat in the lounge together, holding hands.
People fear long term care facilities. They see them as cold institutional places but all of these stories happened there. It is where I witnessed love every day of the week.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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