October 21st, 2016
I just finished reading Wayne Dyer's, Living an Inspired Life. I always enjoy his books, they make me think and, sometimes, after his book has changed the way I see things, my life is better. Every improvement of my mind, leads to a higher quality of relationship with my loved ones and with the state of my life in general.
In this book, Wayne shows us what an inspired life looks and feels like, providing examples from his own life and from other mentors. You take some time to be quiet and to connect with your Source, every day. You have a plan for your life and you are open to signs and synchronicity that steer you in the right direction. You value your health so you make time to nourish your body, rest and spend time with other high energy individuals. You hold onto your vision for your life without becoming attached to outcome or led by your ego. You know that your Source knows what you need and you search for the clues to the next step. You also recognize that all people and experiences are intended to move you forward on your path.
Wayne reminds us that we are each a piece of that Source, that we are connected, powerful and creative. He warns against judging others, dismissing their role in our life and holding back the forgiveness that may set us free. He suggests that we protect our vision for our life from the scrutiny and criticism of others. We also need to avoid media, entertainment and people who expose us to violence, hatred and fear. This pulls us away from our Source.
We are also guided to see our bodies as healthy because that is our normal state. We are bombarded with messages by media that encourage us to worry about our health. There is a pill for every ailment and we are told that 1 in 10 or 2 out of 5 will get this ailment, leading to fear and dis-ease. As we align with Source through time spent alone in silence, we may need to make changes in our lives. In order for our life to bloom, we may need to correct some of our behaviours (addiction, negativity etc) and end some relationships or change employment.
We can move in the direction of our inspired life by noticing what excites us and taking action in that direction. We don't always know how we will get there but if we say yes to life, follow our intuition and simplify our life, we will be moving in the right direction. Wayne encourages us to retrieve our child spirit: joyful, trusting, playful and full of hope and surrender our ego. The ego restricts us because we are working for the payoff, we want the reward and acknowledgement. In order to get out of our ego and into spirit, we can practise giving generously to others without any expectations. We must declutter our schedule as well as our space because there will be no room for inspiration if our minds are full and our life is hectic. That is why it is wise to slow down, do what we enjoy, spend time in the service of others, connect in nature and take small steps, recognizing opportunities as they come your way.
Obviously, this is an ideal way of life but, just making any adjustment in this direction can lead to more joy, peace and fulfilment.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growth. Show all posts
Friday, 21 October 2016
Wednesday, 5 October 2016
Tony Robbins-I Am Not Your Guru
October 5th, 2016
I was first introduced to Anthony Robbins as a teenager. I don't know how I ended up with his cassette tape, Awaken the Giant Within, but I listened to it over and over again. I had to decide on my Magnificent Obsession and figure out what was keeping me from it. Tony stated that all our behaviours are about avoiding pain or getting pleasure. This was how you understood behaviour. What is the payoff? What am I avoiding?
I have since read some of his books, watched him on You Tube and, recently, I noticed a documentary about Tony on Netflix, I Am Not Your Guru. The documentary is all about his six day Date With Destiny Seminar in Bocca Raton. He offers this seminar every year in different locations and each seat costs just under 5G but the place is packed!
The documentary takes you through each day and you get to witness one or two interventions per day. This is really powerful work. Granted, some parts are a bit flashy, like a Las Vegas show but the people are doing some deep thinking about the life they want to lead. Tony says the goal of this seminar is to teach people "how to re-shape yourself so you can enjoy yourself. To Uncover who you are, reclaim who you are, meant for anyone who is hungry for more".
Day 1 is Preparation Day. He explains that we go through problems in life but they are gifts because problems keep us moving and we are meant to grow. When we stop growing, we are not happy. His aim on day one is to get to the source of problems because when you address the real issue, not the tiny stuff that you use to distract yourself, you can change your whole life in one moment. He asks the audience what is keeping them from reaching their dreams, from achieving their vision.
Day 2 is Evaluation Day. He gets people into teams. They share insights from day one and he has them examine patterns that they are not aware of but seems to be controlling them.
Day 3 is Discovery Day. They show a very poignant intervention with a young lady who was raised in a sect and taught that all she was good for was sex, this was how she served God. Tony obviously feels a connection to this woman. He sees her pain and helps her see that she now has the power to make different choices. He hooks her up with some training and support and has her pick three men in the audience that feel safe to her. They are tasked to check up on her once a month for six months. They created a bond that lasts beyond the seminar.
Day 4 is Relationship Day. Tony addresses the challenge of relationships, where we feel deeply, where we are raw, where we grapple with not being "enough". He says we develop visions for our business but not for our relationship. We need a vision of what we are creating together. He works with a couple who is off balance. The woman is more masculine and the man is more feminine. She wants him to be more masculine. He also desires this but he has had no male role models. He feels lost. Tony works with him and, we are told, they go home and have some pretty wild sex that night.
Day 5 is Transformation Day. Tony starts the day by talking to audience members who have not had one insight since the start of the seminar. He warns them to get out of their heads. The groups create posters with their vision, goals, mission statement and primary question, the question they ask most often that directs their life. He has people imagine their ideal life and describe it.
Day 6 is Integration Day. The groups work on anchoring their vision for their life into their nervous system. They jump, attach this vision to each sense and proclaim their intention at the top of their voice. Tony asks them to think of early memories and figure out what stories they created from these experiences, the meaning that was assigned to them. He takes them through a visualization exercise. They each recall three times in their life for which they feel gratitude. Again, he attaches these memories to the five senses. He then has participants stand, stretch and make their joyful sound.
You can tell that these people are feeling energetic, re-born and changed from this experience. As the crew follow Tony from Day 1 to Day 6, you can see that he is very focused and disciplined and that he is energized by his work. His wife is also very compassionate. She stands with him at the end of the seminar and she is seen hugging and interacting with people throughout the seminar. Tony's last directive to his devoted fans is "Leave the past behind and go make your life a masterpiece".
Very inspirational work!!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I was first introduced to Anthony Robbins as a teenager. I don't know how I ended up with his cassette tape, Awaken the Giant Within, but I listened to it over and over again. I had to decide on my Magnificent Obsession and figure out what was keeping me from it. Tony stated that all our behaviours are about avoiding pain or getting pleasure. This was how you understood behaviour. What is the payoff? What am I avoiding?
I have since read some of his books, watched him on You Tube and, recently, I noticed a documentary about Tony on Netflix, I Am Not Your Guru. The documentary is all about his six day Date With Destiny Seminar in Bocca Raton. He offers this seminar every year in different locations and each seat costs just under 5G but the place is packed!
The documentary takes you through each day and you get to witness one or two interventions per day. This is really powerful work. Granted, some parts are a bit flashy, like a Las Vegas show but the people are doing some deep thinking about the life they want to lead. Tony says the goal of this seminar is to teach people "how to re-shape yourself so you can enjoy yourself. To Uncover who you are, reclaim who you are, meant for anyone who is hungry for more".
Day 1 is Preparation Day. He explains that we go through problems in life but they are gifts because problems keep us moving and we are meant to grow. When we stop growing, we are not happy. His aim on day one is to get to the source of problems because when you address the real issue, not the tiny stuff that you use to distract yourself, you can change your whole life in one moment. He asks the audience what is keeping them from reaching their dreams, from achieving their vision.
Day 2 is Evaluation Day. He gets people into teams. They share insights from day one and he has them examine patterns that they are not aware of but seems to be controlling them.
Day 3 is Discovery Day. They show a very poignant intervention with a young lady who was raised in a sect and taught that all she was good for was sex, this was how she served God. Tony obviously feels a connection to this woman. He sees her pain and helps her see that she now has the power to make different choices. He hooks her up with some training and support and has her pick three men in the audience that feel safe to her. They are tasked to check up on her once a month for six months. They created a bond that lasts beyond the seminar.
Day 4 is Relationship Day. Tony addresses the challenge of relationships, where we feel deeply, where we are raw, where we grapple with not being "enough". He says we develop visions for our business but not for our relationship. We need a vision of what we are creating together. He works with a couple who is off balance. The woman is more masculine and the man is more feminine. She wants him to be more masculine. He also desires this but he has had no male role models. He feels lost. Tony works with him and, we are told, they go home and have some pretty wild sex that night.
Day 5 is Transformation Day. Tony starts the day by talking to audience members who have not had one insight since the start of the seminar. He warns them to get out of their heads. The groups create posters with their vision, goals, mission statement and primary question, the question they ask most often that directs their life. He has people imagine their ideal life and describe it.
Day 6 is Integration Day. The groups work on anchoring their vision for their life into their nervous system. They jump, attach this vision to each sense and proclaim their intention at the top of their voice. Tony asks them to think of early memories and figure out what stories they created from these experiences, the meaning that was assigned to them. He takes them through a visualization exercise. They each recall three times in their life for which they feel gratitude. Again, he attaches these memories to the five senses. He then has participants stand, stretch and make their joyful sound.
You can tell that these people are feeling energetic, re-born and changed from this experience. As the crew follow Tony from Day 1 to Day 6, you can see that he is very focused and disciplined and that he is energized by his work. His wife is also very compassionate. She stands with him at the end of the seminar and she is seen hugging and interacting with people throughout the seminar. Tony's last directive to his devoted fans is "Leave the past behind and go make your life a masterpiece".
Very inspirational work!!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 26 May 2016
Hay House Withdrawal
May 26th, 2016
Today was the last day of podcasts on the Hay House World Summit. What a gift these interviews have been. Every day, while organizing the art materials in my shop, driving to and from various destinations and cleaning the house, I soaked in the wisdom of best selling self-help authors on the online summit, a series of audio podcasts. I believe there were four series totallIng 100 authors.
My dream is to publish with Hay House some day and join the summit. They have a Writer's Workshop where you can present your manuscript and win a publishing package or, better yet, they take you on as one of their authors. I can feel the book stirring within me and I am working towards it without pushing, all in good time.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been guided through various meditations and visualizations, I have learned about my self-worth, my brain, my body, my soul and my relationships. I am so excited by what I have learned. It comes down to this: we all come from love and our essence is love, we have come here for a reason, we each have something to contribute and it's our responsibility to find our purpose by following what gives us joy and exploring how our experiences and our unique skills can be used to serve others.
Each author helps us on this quest to reach our highest selves and achieve our mission. We are taught to love ourselves through mirror work, affirmations and healthy nutrition by the master herself, Louise Hay.
We learn about meditation through various authors who talk about the clarity they gain when they slow down, get centred and connect with their wise mind. Others have us connect with our bodies to help us heal. There is so much hope about healing through nutrition, visualization, exploration of our emotional blockages and rituals led and witnessed by shamans.
There are so many interesting interviews about self-expression and creativity through storytelling, writing, journaling, dancing and chanting. I have recognized the importance of a sisterhood as a mother, writer, soul, entrepreneur and spouse. I am inspired to speak my truth, to share my journey with other women, to seek out a mentor, embrace my sexuality and wildness, to nourish my body, centre my mind and be gentle with myself. I see these successful women and I strive to stay on my path.
I was really drawn to the visualizations. In one, you shrink yourself, visit the inside of your body and notice any anomalies. You inhale healing light and exhale what you no longer need. You physically change the look of your cells, clean them up and breathe love into them. Then you exit and go back to your usual size. Such a powerful meditation.
In another meditation, you remove the energy hooks that are holding you back. You reclaim your energy from the various sources that are draining you whether it's a person or a belief. You then welcome the energy back into your body. Feels awesome.
So much soul searching and I owe it all to this free, online series. Thank you Hay House!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today was the last day of podcasts on the Hay House World Summit. What a gift these interviews have been. Every day, while organizing the art materials in my shop, driving to and from various destinations and cleaning the house, I soaked in the wisdom of best selling self-help authors on the online summit, a series of audio podcasts. I believe there were four series totallIng 100 authors.
My dream is to publish with Hay House some day and join the summit. They have a Writer's Workshop where you can present your manuscript and win a publishing package or, better yet, they take you on as one of their authors. I can feel the book stirring within me and I am working towards it without pushing, all in good time.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been guided through various meditations and visualizations, I have learned about my self-worth, my brain, my body, my soul and my relationships. I am so excited by what I have learned. It comes down to this: we all come from love and our essence is love, we have come here for a reason, we each have something to contribute and it's our responsibility to find our purpose by following what gives us joy and exploring how our experiences and our unique skills can be used to serve others.
Each author helps us on this quest to reach our highest selves and achieve our mission. We are taught to love ourselves through mirror work, affirmations and healthy nutrition by the master herself, Louise Hay.
We learn about meditation through various authors who talk about the clarity they gain when they slow down, get centred and connect with their wise mind. Others have us connect with our bodies to help us heal. There is so much hope about healing through nutrition, visualization, exploration of our emotional blockages and rituals led and witnessed by shamans.
There are so many interesting interviews about self-expression and creativity through storytelling, writing, journaling, dancing and chanting. I have recognized the importance of a sisterhood as a mother, writer, soul, entrepreneur and spouse. I am inspired to speak my truth, to share my journey with other women, to seek out a mentor, embrace my sexuality and wildness, to nourish my body, centre my mind and be gentle with myself. I see these successful women and I strive to stay on my path.
I was really drawn to the visualizations. In one, you shrink yourself, visit the inside of your body and notice any anomalies. You inhale healing light and exhale what you no longer need. You physically change the look of your cells, clean them up and breathe love into them. Then you exit and go back to your usual size. Such a powerful meditation.
In another meditation, you remove the energy hooks that are holding you back. You reclaim your energy from the various sources that are draining you whether it's a person or a belief. You then welcome the energy back into your body. Feels awesome.
So much soul searching and I owe it all to this free, online series. Thank you Hay House!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 24 May 2016
Friendships
May 24th, 2016
What did you do over the long weekend? We had amazing weather! We seem to have suddenly fallen into summer. We ate outdoors and the trampoline got plenty of use and, we hung out at Baxter's Beach for the first time this season. The Ice Cream Float was out, that is the name of a boat. It belongs to a super sweet man who crosses the river from his home to Baxter's Beach in his boat in order to sell ice cream to hoards of overheated and eagerly awaiting children. The beach is my zone and I could spend the entire day (my whole life) there. My children usually want to go home after a few hours. Sigh!
I was thinking about friendships over the weekend. My youngest daughter had her friend Ruby over to the house. They are both seven years old and were so excited to spend time together. They created masterpieces at our dining room table then had some lunch while watching Teen Titans. They spent a good 30 minutes on the trampoline then I challenged them with a treasure hunt. They had to jump rope, pick flowers from our property, do somersaults across the lawn, race on bouncy balls and swing to another galaxy on our swing set. They played with dolls for a while then they drew with chalk on the back deck. They were having a great time. By the time Ruby's Mom came over to pick her up, Ruby wanted to sleep over. My daughters and her had planned their whole evening while they drew flowers and rainbows all over the deck. When her mother said no, Ruby was very disappointed. My eldest daughter is 10 years old but she had played with my youngest and her friend and they had quickly bonded. I truly enjoyed our day. I love being around young ones because they are in the moment, savouring each activity, participating fully. They love each other so deeply and their friendships are so precious. It's really heartwarming.
That evening, my husband set out to meet a friend of his who was visiting from Norway. They have been friends for a long time. They don't see each other often, due to distance, but when they spend time together it's as if no time has elapsed. They both had children later in life and married in the same year. Becoming fathers has changed them both, deepening their friendship. He came home the next morning seeming happier and even more appreciative of our daughters. I caught a glimpse of him holding our youngest daughter, smiling, content.
My husband has also developed a new relationship recently with the father of one of our eldest daughter's friends. They both love music and beer and they are like two children when they get together, joking, excited and happy. This has been a great friendship for them. They go out every two weeks on their "Bro-date". I can tell they look forward to it and they both get something out of it. I am glad that they have found each other.
I meet a friend of mine every week. We go for walks and we talk about our lives, our challenges, our aspirations and the really cool people we have met. I look forward to our walks because it is great exercise for me and I feel great afterwards. However, I mostly enjoy our time together. Our conversations make me think and force me to view the world in a different way. Last week, another lady I had met through volunteering at my daughter's school asked if she could join us. I look forward to getting to know her. She is one of those people who has an open face, friendly, honest and kind. I am excited for this week's walk. I also stay in touch with friends from previous phases of my life. We catch up on Facebook, via e-mail or, if they are in Ottawa, we connect for coffee once in a while. Again, it feels as though no time has elapsed every time we meet.
Seeing my friends fills me up. I have more energy, I am more patient with my husband and children after a date with a friend and, I connect with different parts of myself through my friendships. Some friends are more intellectual, we will bounce ideas off one another and grow in awareness together. Other friends are silly and naughty and they teach me to relax and enjoy my life. My creative friends set me on fire. I leave our meet ups feeling energized and motivated to express myself in bold new ways.
I can see how my daughters learn about themselves through friendships as well. They learn to communicate, share and empathize. They feel special because this person wants to be their friend. They get a sense of belonging and they identify with what they have in common whether that's a love of gymnastics, a favourite colour or having long blond hair.
Friendships are so important for us as human beings. I wanted to celebrate the role of friendships in today's post. If you don't have a few close friends, participate in activities you enjoy in order to meet like-minded people. Don't be afraid to approach people and ask them if they'd like to grab a coffee or go for a walk. There are lots of fascinating people out there just waiting to be discovered, like you.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
What did you do over the long weekend? We had amazing weather! We seem to have suddenly fallen into summer. We ate outdoors and the trampoline got plenty of use and, we hung out at Baxter's Beach for the first time this season. The Ice Cream Float was out, that is the name of a boat. It belongs to a super sweet man who crosses the river from his home to Baxter's Beach in his boat in order to sell ice cream to hoards of overheated and eagerly awaiting children. The beach is my zone and I could spend the entire day (my whole life) there. My children usually want to go home after a few hours. Sigh!
I was thinking about friendships over the weekend. My youngest daughter had her friend Ruby over to the house. They are both seven years old and were so excited to spend time together. They created masterpieces at our dining room table then had some lunch while watching Teen Titans. They spent a good 30 minutes on the trampoline then I challenged them with a treasure hunt. They had to jump rope, pick flowers from our property, do somersaults across the lawn, race on bouncy balls and swing to another galaxy on our swing set. They played with dolls for a while then they drew with chalk on the back deck. They were having a great time. By the time Ruby's Mom came over to pick her up, Ruby wanted to sleep over. My daughters and her had planned their whole evening while they drew flowers and rainbows all over the deck. When her mother said no, Ruby was very disappointed. My eldest daughter is 10 years old but she had played with my youngest and her friend and they had quickly bonded. I truly enjoyed our day. I love being around young ones because they are in the moment, savouring each activity, participating fully. They love each other so deeply and their friendships are so precious. It's really heartwarming.
That evening, my husband set out to meet a friend of his who was visiting from Norway. They have been friends for a long time. They don't see each other often, due to distance, but when they spend time together it's as if no time has elapsed. They both had children later in life and married in the same year. Becoming fathers has changed them both, deepening their friendship. He came home the next morning seeming happier and even more appreciative of our daughters. I caught a glimpse of him holding our youngest daughter, smiling, content.
My husband has also developed a new relationship recently with the father of one of our eldest daughter's friends. They both love music and beer and they are like two children when they get together, joking, excited and happy. This has been a great friendship for them. They go out every two weeks on their "Bro-date". I can tell they look forward to it and they both get something out of it. I am glad that they have found each other.
I meet a friend of mine every week. We go for walks and we talk about our lives, our challenges, our aspirations and the really cool people we have met. I look forward to our walks because it is great exercise for me and I feel great afterwards. However, I mostly enjoy our time together. Our conversations make me think and force me to view the world in a different way. Last week, another lady I had met through volunteering at my daughter's school asked if she could join us. I look forward to getting to know her. She is one of those people who has an open face, friendly, honest and kind. I am excited for this week's walk. I also stay in touch with friends from previous phases of my life. We catch up on Facebook, via e-mail or, if they are in Ottawa, we connect for coffee once in a while. Again, it feels as though no time has elapsed every time we meet.
Seeing my friends fills me up. I have more energy, I am more patient with my husband and children after a date with a friend and, I connect with different parts of myself through my friendships. Some friends are more intellectual, we will bounce ideas off one another and grow in awareness together. Other friends are silly and naughty and they teach me to relax and enjoy my life. My creative friends set me on fire. I leave our meet ups feeling energized and motivated to express myself in bold new ways.
I can see how my daughters learn about themselves through friendships as well. They learn to communicate, share and empathize. They feel special because this person wants to be their friend. They get a sense of belonging and they identify with what they have in common whether that's a love of gymnastics, a favourite colour or having long blond hair.
Friendships are so important for us as human beings. I wanted to celebrate the role of friendships in today's post. If you don't have a few close friends, participate in activities you enjoy in order to meet like-minded people. Don't be afraid to approach people and ask them if they'd like to grab a coffee or go for a walk. There are lots of fascinating people out there just waiting to be discovered, like you.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 26 January 2016
40+ Woman-LL
January 26th, 2016
Last night, I had an inspiring conversation with a 46 year old professional woman. LL was excited to celebrate her 40th birthday. It was a positive experience for her. She is not frightened by the aging process. She welcomes it with gratitude. She feels happy to be alive. "Aging is the greatest gift ever and we must celebrate every year, wrinkles and all!"
At 46 years of age, LL is much more confident. She is less concerned with what others think. She fearlessly makes decisions because she learns from her mistakes, they become part of her journey. It's easier to move forward if you know you can't go wrong. She wouldn't change anything about her life because she wouldn't be who she is without each of those experiences.
LL divorced her husband of 20 years when she was 43 years old . She moved away with her sons, within the same neighbourhood, so her youngest could stay in the same school. She believes women suddenly make important decisions in their 40s because when they are younger they are too busy to think about their life. There is so much to do: studies, work, marriage, mothering young children etc. When their children have grown, women start asking questions: Is this it? What do I want? What would I like the next portion of my life to look like? Who would I like to spend the rest of my life with? What do I like or hate about my life right now? She believes hormones also play a role in this because she has noticed a link between anxiety and getting her period. Is it possible that not getting one's period is correlated with more confidence and bolder decisions?
LL supervises many younger women. She recognizes that they think very differently from her. Her advice to teenagers or young women is to "listen to that little voice inside, we all have it. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Stop worrying about what others think. Just accept yourself for who you are.
If you want to change something about your life, just do it". LL is a totally different person now
compared to 20 years ago. If she knew back then what she knows now, her journey would have looked very different. She has learned to love and appreciate herself. She pruned her friendships and realized she often treated her friends better than she treated herself. She would never treat her friends as poorly as she has treated herself in the past.
Her legacy is to teach young women to manage their expectations. They want everything now. They put too much pressure on themselves to have the fancy car, the big house and the impressive job title
at work. LL wishes she could help them understand that everything is temporary. It changes the way you approach life if you perceive it as temporary. Otherwise, you get married and think: This is my life or, you have young children and imagine life will always be this way.
LL has a successful career but she measures her success through her children. She is proud of her sons, aged 17 and 22. They are not perfect but they have survived many challenges and have turned out well. LL is going through a transition right now. She is shifting her focus away from her children
who were her main preoccupation for many years. She admits feeling a little guilty as she states that she wants to focus on herself, to put her oxygen mask on first, not in a selfish way but in order to
restore balance in her life. This shift impacts every aspect of her life. She has a wonderful career but she is eager to become a life coach. She believes it's important to stop and assess your life. It helps you decide where to spend your time and energy.
After her divorce, she was so scared of being alone she was physically, violently sick for weeks. Now she doesn't feel the need to be with someone in order to be happy. She'd love to share her life with someone but she no longer feels dependent on anyone else. She has been dating a new man for eight months and, even though her sons are still important to her, she is preparing for the next phase of her life.
She has an extraordinary network of friends who are very supportive of her. She also has a very active lifestyle. This keeps her heathy and energized. She enjoys biking, skiing, swimming, doing
yoga and meditation. The older she gets, the more physical activity she needs. She likes to challenge herself every year. This year, she plans to complete a triathlon.
Now that she is older and wiser, having lost several friends over the years, she recognizes the importance of not putting off to tomorrow what you can do today. When she was younger, she didn't understand why her father took her mother out for a date every Saturday to socialize with friends. She didn't understand why they had to visit her grandparents so often. Now that her father has progressed to the last stages of Alzheimer's and her mother is diagnosed with Parkinson's, she understands a lot. She hopes to eventually use her wisdom to empower other women through her coaching practice.
It has been a pleasure to interview you. Best of luck!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Last night, I had an inspiring conversation with a 46 year old professional woman. LL was excited to celebrate her 40th birthday. It was a positive experience for her. She is not frightened by the aging process. She welcomes it with gratitude. She feels happy to be alive. "Aging is the greatest gift ever and we must celebrate every year, wrinkles and all!"
At 46 years of age, LL is much more confident. She is less concerned with what others think. She fearlessly makes decisions because she learns from her mistakes, they become part of her journey. It's easier to move forward if you know you can't go wrong. She wouldn't change anything about her life because she wouldn't be who she is without each of those experiences.
LL divorced her husband of 20 years when she was 43 years old . She moved away with her sons, within the same neighbourhood, so her youngest could stay in the same school. She believes women suddenly make important decisions in their 40s because when they are younger they are too busy to think about their life. There is so much to do: studies, work, marriage, mothering young children etc. When their children have grown, women start asking questions: Is this it? What do I want? What would I like the next portion of my life to look like? Who would I like to spend the rest of my life with? What do I like or hate about my life right now? She believes hormones also play a role in this because she has noticed a link between anxiety and getting her period. Is it possible that not getting one's period is correlated with more confidence and bolder decisions?
LL supervises many younger women. She recognizes that they think very differently from her. Her advice to teenagers or young women is to "listen to that little voice inside, we all have it. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Stop worrying about what others think. Just accept yourself for who you are.
If you want to change something about your life, just do it". LL is a totally different person now
compared to 20 years ago. If she knew back then what she knows now, her journey would have looked very different. She has learned to love and appreciate herself. She pruned her friendships and realized she often treated her friends better than she treated herself. She would never treat her friends as poorly as she has treated herself in the past.
Her legacy is to teach young women to manage their expectations. They want everything now. They put too much pressure on themselves to have the fancy car, the big house and the impressive job title
at work. LL wishes she could help them understand that everything is temporary. It changes the way you approach life if you perceive it as temporary. Otherwise, you get married and think: This is my life or, you have young children and imagine life will always be this way.
LL has a successful career but she measures her success through her children. She is proud of her sons, aged 17 and 22. They are not perfect but they have survived many challenges and have turned out well. LL is going through a transition right now. She is shifting her focus away from her children
who were her main preoccupation for many years. She admits feeling a little guilty as she states that she wants to focus on herself, to put her oxygen mask on first, not in a selfish way but in order to
restore balance in her life. This shift impacts every aspect of her life. She has a wonderful career but she is eager to become a life coach. She believes it's important to stop and assess your life. It helps you decide where to spend your time and energy.
After her divorce, she was so scared of being alone she was physically, violently sick for weeks. Now she doesn't feel the need to be with someone in order to be happy. She'd love to share her life with someone but she no longer feels dependent on anyone else. She has been dating a new man for eight months and, even though her sons are still important to her, she is preparing for the next phase of her life.
She has an extraordinary network of friends who are very supportive of her. She also has a very active lifestyle. This keeps her heathy and energized. She enjoys biking, skiing, swimming, doing
yoga and meditation. The older she gets, the more physical activity she needs. She likes to challenge herself every year. This year, she plans to complete a triathlon.
Now that she is older and wiser, having lost several friends over the years, she recognizes the importance of not putting off to tomorrow what you can do today. When she was younger, she didn't understand why her father took her mother out for a date every Saturday to socialize with friends. She didn't understand why they had to visit her grandparents so often. Now that her father has progressed to the last stages of Alzheimer's and her mother is diagnosed with Parkinson's, she understands a lot. She hopes to eventually use her wisdom to empower other women through her coaching practice.
It has been a pleasure to interview you. Best of luck!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 14 January 2016
Interview with a 40+ woman-FD
I met with another fascinating woman today. FD was married at 19 years of age and had three
children by the age of 25. She was happy, living in a suburb close to everything. She earned her
own money by operating a home day care and starting a newspaper route. She soon realized
that her husband had very different expectations from hers. He believed that being at home with
the children, cooking and cleaning should make her happy. When she expressed an interest in
taking a creative writing course, her husband objected.
By the time she turned 30, FD was examining her life. She had expected to achieve more by this age and thought she would feel different. FD was fed up with feeling invisible at parties. When people asked her what she did and she replied that she was raising her three children, they moved on to someone else, assuming she had nothing to say. Her husband never beat her but she would sense the tension rising when he was getting upset and she did what she could to appease him. It was all very draining. As the new millennium rolled around, she had a pivotal conversation with a trusted friend. Her friend suggested that she pick one thing she would like to change in the future and set a date. By April 2000, FD had left her husband. This would be her third and final trip to a shelter.
Her husband had accumulated a huge debt and she inherited half of that amount as her "parting gift". She was a single mother of three, penniless and, without an education, she didn't know how she would take care of her family. An opportunity presented itself to move to Asia where she could make good money, live relatively cheap and complete her Publication Degree from Ryerson's online program. Her intention was to be away for one year but her contract was renewed and, she met an Australian man. Her children were taken care of by her mother and ex-husband. She spoke to them every other day but her husband always listened in on their conversations. She visited every four months. She moved back home, three years later, in March 2006, after a messy break up wth the Australian.
Her children needed to get to know her again. As they strengthened their relationship, FD started re-building her life. She met a man who was also re-building his life. They spent a lot of time together with their children, getting to know each other and, eventually, married late in 2007. She turned 40 shortly after her father passed away in 2008. "Turning 40 didn't really phase me", she said. Her 40s have been mostly about adjusting to married life. She learned to let go of her "single mom mentality". FD is finally in a relationship with a man she can rely on, "It's nice to be with someone who cares if you're hungry, cold or tired. You just need to let them take care of you".
FD is most proud of her relationship with her children. "We're friends which is amazing after everything we've been through". The only thing she would change is her trip to Asia. She wishes she didn't go away but, to this day, she can't imagine any other way to get out of debt as fast as she did. Her advice to young women is to "listen to the people who love you. You don't need to reply. What they say has value, take it in, value it, weigh it". At this point in her life she is "trying to focus on the moment, to sit and communicate".
She believes something causes us to look inward in our 40s and adjust our lives accordingly. As FD reviews the lives of the many generations who came before her, she notices that life changes over time but a "gold thread" stays the same. Her legacy will be to teach the next generation that "you are the only one you can depend on, you've got to make your own decisions and, it's ok to make mistakes because there are no mistakes, only learning".
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
By the time she turned 30, FD was examining her life. She had expected to achieve more by this age and thought she would feel different. FD was fed up with feeling invisible at parties. When people asked her what she did and she replied that she was raising her three children, they moved on to someone else, assuming she had nothing to say. Her husband never beat her but she would sense the tension rising when he was getting upset and she did what she could to appease him. It was all very draining. As the new millennium rolled around, she had a pivotal conversation with a trusted friend. Her friend suggested that she pick one thing she would like to change in the future and set a date. By April 2000, FD had left her husband. This would be her third and final trip to a shelter.
Her husband had accumulated a huge debt and she inherited half of that amount as her "parting gift". She was a single mother of three, penniless and, without an education, she didn't know how she would take care of her family. An opportunity presented itself to move to Asia where she could make good money, live relatively cheap and complete her Publication Degree from Ryerson's online program. Her intention was to be away for one year but her contract was renewed and, she met an Australian man. Her children were taken care of by her mother and ex-husband. She spoke to them every other day but her husband always listened in on their conversations. She visited every four months. She moved back home, three years later, in March 2006, after a messy break up wth the Australian.
Her children needed to get to know her again. As they strengthened their relationship, FD started re-building her life. She met a man who was also re-building his life. They spent a lot of time together with their children, getting to know each other and, eventually, married late in 2007. She turned 40 shortly after her father passed away in 2008. "Turning 40 didn't really phase me", she said. Her 40s have been mostly about adjusting to married life. She learned to let go of her "single mom mentality". FD is finally in a relationship with a man she can rely on, "It's nice to be with someone who cares if you're hungry, cold or tired. You just need to let them take care of you".
FD is most proud of her relationship with her children. "We're friends which is amazing after everything we've been through". The only thing she would change is her trip to Asia. She wishes she didn't go away but, to this day, she can't imagine any other way to get out of debt as fast as she did. Her advice to young women is to "listen to the people who love you. You don't need to reply. What they say has value, take it in, value it, weigh it". At this point in her life she is "trying to focus on the moment, to sit and communicate".
She believes something causes us to look inward in our 40s and adjust our lives accordingly. As FD reviews the lives of the many generations who came before her, she notices that life changes over time but a "gold thread" stays the same. Her legacy will be to teach the next generation that "you are the only one you can depend on, you've got to make your own decisions and, it's ok to make mistakes because there are no mistakes, only learning".
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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