October 7th, 2016
Yesterday was a packed day! So much has happened since I posted my invitation to mothers everywhere and anywhere to share their stories. I received messages on Facebook from women I knew. I also received e-mails from complete strangers giving me a sneak peek at their experiences.
This morning, I met with my friend Chris. We try to go for a walk every Friday. She was telling me that she is noticing a great deal of loneliness and self doubt in many women in their 40s. This worries her. This was an interesting comment because I was thinking about self-doubt this morning as I prepared for my day. I have a list of women who came forward to participate in my Mommy Monologues project. Every woman wrote something along the lines of; "I don't know if you'll want my story in your book but here's what happened to me and I would be willing to tell you all about it if you want to hear it". These women had all been through important experiences to share yet their first thought was that I might not want to include their story.
This echoed another experience I've had in individual work with women. They will ask me for a smaller piece of paper because they don't want to take up that much space. They fear making a mess in my shop and immediately clean up after themselves. They warn me not to pour out too much paint into their tray because they don't want to waste products.
When I am working in groups, the women praise the other participants. "Wow, you are so strong, I couldn't have done that". or "Are you kidding me, you are amazing, I haven't done anything". This dance of praising others while humbling ourselves is present in every group I run. Why is it so difficult to recognize and affirm our worth?
As Chris and I discussed this loss of worth, we talked about the power dynamics in relationships where the man is the main breadwinner. If you pause your career for a few years to take care of your children, you work very hard every day completing invisible tasks; cooking, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, planning, organizing etc but you are not paid for any of these tasks, they need to repeated over and over again and, after a while, people stop appreciating them, they take you for granted. You also stop noticing all the things you do. If you were a career woman, you may feel the loss of earning your own income and of feeling independent. If your role is not valued, you forget your worth and downplay all the actions you take every day within your role. You become invisible.
You are more than the money you make. You are a worthwhile person just for being you. I love Louise Hay's mirror work. She asks her clients to sit in front of a full length mirror and practice saying kind things to themselves. Try it out. Sit in front of the biggest mirror you can find and express your love and respect for yourself. Louise encourages women to say their name followed by "I Love You"! Write a list of your strengths and qualities (at least ten) and say to yourself, "I am..." as you go through each one. If you can't come up with ten strengths and qualities, ask your loved ones to help with your list. You might be surprised by what they say.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label roles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label roles. Show all posts
Friday, 7 October 2016
Thursday, 9 June 2016
The Mommy Monologues?
June 9th, 2016
Yesterday, I went to Juice 97.5FM for an interview with Diana Fisher. We were promoting the book launch for my second children's book, The Story of Poobum and Pompom. This morning, I got to listen to the interview before I drove to the grocery store. I was proud of my interview because it gave me the opportunity to share the inspiration for the book, my own experience with my eldest daughter, Molly, when my youngest, Stella, was born. My intention in writing the book was to help other parents through this transition. It was such a challenging time for us as a family.
As I drove to the store, thinking about my life seven years ago and how far we have come, a title popped into my head, The Mommy Monologues. I remember when the Vagina Monologues just hit the stage. It was so controversial, women talking about their vaginas. Each vagina story revealed a different aspect of women- their femininity, sexuality, vulnerability, creativity and power. I was struck by how women struggle these days in their roles as mothers. Times have changed, women are liberated, they have so many choices-have a child, don't have a child, get married, don't get married, take maternity leave or return to work, work from home or work outside the home (just to name a few). You would think that would empower women but there is so much variety in the way we mother as well as judgment among moms.
Women may feel guilty if they wish to return to work soon after having their child. They may feel pressured to take the year off because they can. Others may want to stay home longer but need to return to work for financial reasons. The way we parent can be very different, the level of involvement, emotional availability and sharing, discipline, values, spiritual education of children etc. We have all these options but considerably less support during those important years of adjustment to our new role.
Becoming a parent changes you and it certainly impacts your relationship with your partner. We need more support as women in our important role as mothers. We also need more diversity in our stories and portrayals of mothers-working moms, stay-at-home moms, mothers with mental illnesses, mothers struggling with addictions or suffering through physical, emotional, sexual abuse, incarcerated mothers, mothers on welfare, moms with cancer, lesbian moms, adoptive moms, surrogate moms, step-moms, moms who never got to take their babies home-man there is so much richness just waiting to be harvested!
Wouldn't it be cool to have the Mommy Monologues, a play where a wide range of mothers get to share their story, something that will speak to each mother in the audience regardless of who she is and what she is going through, an experience that would breed compassion for every type of mom, celebrate our resilience and help others understand what mothering is like when your life is in a totally different reality.
I just had the title float through my mind today, it will simmer for a while until I can find a way to birth it and share it. This is a very exciting idea and I will savour it-its newness and potential, for just a while longer.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Yesterday, I went to Juice 97.5FM for an interview with Diana Fisher. We were promoting the book launch for my second children's book, The Story of Poobum and Pompom. This morning, I got to listen to the interview before I drove to the grocery store. I was proud of my interview because it gave me the opportunity to share the inspiration for the book, my own experience with my eldest daughter, Molly, when my youngest, Stella, was born. My intention in writing the book was to help other parents through this transition. It was such a challenging time for us as a family.
As I drove to the store, thinking about my life seven years ago and how far we have come, a title popped into my head, The Mommy Monologues. I remember when the Vagina Monologues just hit the stage. It was so controversial, women talking about their vaginas. Each vagina story revealed a different aspect of women- their femininity, sexuality, vulnerability, creativity and power. I was struck by how women struggle these days in their roles as mothers. Times have changed, women are liberated, they have so many choices-have a child, don't have a child, get married, don't get married, take maternity leave or return to work, work from home or work outside the home (just to name a few). You would think that would empower women but there is so much variety in the way we mother as well as judgment among moms.
Women may feel guilty if they wish to return to work soon after having their child. They may feel pressured to take the year off because they can. Others may want to stay home longer but need to return to work for financial reasons. The way we parent can be very different, the level of involvement, emotional availability and sharing, discipline, values, spiritual education of children etc. We have all these options but considerably less support during those important years of adjustment to our new role.
Becoming a parent changes you and it certainly impacts your relationship with your partner. We need more support as women in our important role as mothers. We also need more diversity in our stories and portrayals of mothers-working moms, stay-at-home moms, mothers with mental illnesses, mothers struggling with addictions or suffering through physical, emotional, sexual abuse, incarcerated mothers, mothers on welfare, moms with cancer, lesbian moms, adoptive moms, surrogate moms, step-moms, moms who never got to take their babies home-man there is so much richness just waiting to be harvested!
Wouldn't it be cool to have the Mommy Monologues, a play where a wide range of mothers get to share their story, something that will speak to each mother in the audience regardless of who she is and what she is going through, an experience that would breed compassion for every type of mom, celebrate our resilience and help others understand what mothering is like when your life is in a totally different reality.
I just had the title float through my mind today, it will simmer for a while until I can find a way to birth it and share it. This is a very exciting idea and I will savour it-its newness and potential, for just a while longer.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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