January 22nd, 2016
This week's book was packed with information and, a bit hard to read at times, but so worth it. Don't Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle: How To Break Free of Negativity and Drama is written by Doreen Virtue. This is a well-researched psychology book. I have read many books about PTSD and the information gets repetitive but there is new, useful information presented here and I encourage you to buy this book if you or someone you love is living with PTSD.
This book describes how our bodies and minds respond to stress then provides real tips to bring calm back into our lives. Doreen explains how people who have had trauma in their lives attract drama to them in order to stimulate stress hormones. Hyper vigilance, the tendency to be on high alert and looking for clues of danger, helps people feel safe. When they are calm, they feel vulnerable so they trigger stress hormones through drama because that feels more comfortable.
The author outlines four reactions to trauma:1-Fight (anger and aggression), 2-Flight (avoidant behaviour and fear), 3-Freeze (dissociation) and 4-Fawn (complying with others in order to stay safe). I had never heard about this fourth reaction but it makes sense if I think about the children I've worked with who come from homes with domestic violence. They become really skilled at reading their parent's facial expressions and moods and do what they can to be invisible and compliant, walking on egg shells to avoid violence.
You may have heard about the role of adrenaline in stress and PTSD, how it speeds up the central nervous system and keeps people hyper alert. Cortisol is a stress hormone that has received a lot of press due to the abundance of stressed out women with muffin tops. Cortisol stores fat reserves onto your stomach as a protective measure, in case you starve. What I had never heard of before is the role of histamines in the stress reaction.
When you eat something you are allergic to, your body releases histamines. It helps your body react to the allergen. Doreen states that we can become addicted to the foods we are allergic to, believing they are our favourite foods. What we like is the release of histamines which increases our alertness. She lists high histamine foods that people who have experienced trauma may become addicted to, these include: aged cheddar, red wine, balsamic vinegar, cured meats, soy sauce, pickles etc. I was blown away by this list. Do you know someone who loves that specific list of items? I do.
The book describes the symptoms of PTSD which Doreen suggests be re-named Post Traumatic Stress Reaction because it is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation, I agree. The word "disorder" only serves to further stigmatize individuals who are trying to come to terms with what happened to them. She also covers topics such as Secondary Traumatic Stress (hearing about trauma from someone else or watching it on tv), Burnout Syndrome (when hard workers feel their efforts go unrecognized, become angry then stop caring) and, Complex PTSR (where the trauma was ongoing). This first section of the book can be difficult to read. If you are dealing with PTSR, I would recommend you read a bit at a time and make plans to see a trusted friend or therapist for support.
The second section of the book offers a variety of tools to reduce the stress in your life. Doreen recommends a "drama detox" which involves distancing yourself from the people in your life who create drama as well as recognizing your own drama patterns. Some of the her tips for getting calm include: listening to quiet, relaxing music, focusing on one moment at a time, buying a plant to practice caring for something, reducing your consumption of high histamine foods, connecting with nature, hanging out with your pet, stretching, getting creative, de-cluttering your home or having a warm bath.
There are strategies to avoid some of the cognitive traps like "what if" thinking or pessimism and diet tips to avoid binging. She provides alternatives to the many allergens your body is exposed to from carpet fumes, bedding, cosmetics, clothing, cleaning supplies, plastics and electromagnetic energy fields. Doreen proposes a variety of non-medicinal treatments for anxiety and depression to deter people from self-numbing with alcohol or drugs. Some of her suggestions are quite simple like chamomile tea, lavender essential oils, Saint-John's Wort, Melatonin, body work, restorative yoga and gratitude.
The last section of the book helps people who have survived trauma work through their tendency to isolate themselves and avoid human contact as a way to protect themselves in order to create healthy relationships. Individuals are urged to seek support and examine what feelings were at the root of their poor choices in the past so they can make better choices in the future. They are encouraged to nurture self-love and connect with their feelings and intuition in order to assess whether someone will be a good friend or not. The author suggests going to healthy environments to meet new people and taking their time getting to know new acquaintances before trusting them. She also recommends listening to the advice of trusted friends when they have misgivings about a new friend or love interest. Lastly, Doreen goes over some strategies to empower individuals who are trying to maintain a relationship with a dysfunctional family while preserving healthy boundaries.
I will recommend this book to many friends and clients. This is one of those books that I will keep in my library for years so I can consult it on a regular basis. I strongly recommend this book whether you are diagnosed with PTSR or are simply living a stressful life and looking for a way to become healthy and calm.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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