January 30th, 2016
Sarah Susanka is an architect. She helps people design their homes to reflect their values, bring out the space's potential and, incorporate areas where her clients can participate in the activities they enjoy.
She is also the author of, The Not So Big Life, a self-help book that applies these same principles of design to help individuals create a life that reflects who they are: their passion, values and interests.
I have read this book several times and I go over my notes every year to ensure that I am on track. The premise of this book is that people's lives are too big, too fast and overwhelming. We may want a simpler life but, without a "blueprint", it can be difficult to see which changes will bring about the desired outcome. Without a clear plan, our actions only complicate our life, making it even bigger.
Some of the principles that are transferable from the world of home design are as follows:
1-As stated in the previous paragraph, we need a blueprint. Homes can feel cramped when they are divided into small rooms and hallways. An obvious solution is to take down walls and open up the space. If we "compartmentalize" our life, keeping work, family and socializing separate, life feels tight and disjointed. The key is to remove barriers and connect the various compartments of our lives so we can move fluidly from one aspect to the other. The clearer we get about our intentions and values, the easier it is to see how every activity is linked. What are your values and intentions?
2-When designing a home, Sarah asks clients to find images in magazines that inspire them. You can do the same as you design your life. Notice the people, activities and places that fill and energize you. Create a vision board, covered in images that reflect your preferences.
3-As Susan works with clients to re-design an existing home, she needs a clear idea of what isn't working for them, then she explores the underlying issues involved. When people complain about the quality of their life, they may know what they do and don't want to do. However, they often believe that change isn't possible due to a lack of time to include activities they love. This book shows them how to manage time in order to fit more of these activities into their daily life. Create a schedule of your life. What do you do throughout the day over the course of a week? Analyze where your time is going. Is there anything in there you can remove to make room for more meaningful activities?
4-Real estate agents know how detrimental it can be when a home is cluttered with too much furniture and trinkets. It makes each room look tiny. In a similar fashion, patterns and conditioned responses keep individuals in situations that cause tension, frustration and conflict. Through self-observation, people recognize that it's not the people in their life who need to change. It is their own perceptions and patterns that must be challenged. Keep a log of your interactions and reactions. If it had nothing to do with anyone else, what would it mean? What can you learn from these observations?
5-Everyone knows what their dream home looks like. Sarah's clients are encouraged to dream big and so are you. By journalling your dreams at night, you can start to gain some insight and direction in your life. Dreams reveal a great deal about your inner conflicts and the beliefs that may be holding you back. Sarah provides a good tip which is to remember that every character in your dream represents an aspect of yourself. Sarah suggests you keep a journal next to your bed so you can write what you remember when you wake up.
6-It can be difficult for architects to communicate their vision for a completed project. Clients are used to seeing the house in one way and they have become blind to the home's potential. The same is true of people who can not get beyond their current reality. They are unable to see what is possible for their life. It takes practise to visualize life as it could be. Pay attention to what you want, do not focus on what you do NOT want. Have clear intentions and follow your passions. Document synchronicity.
7-The creative process of design is all about gathering information, preparing materials, schedules and staff then engaging in the creative process without trying to control it. In real life, you need to set an intention, do your homework and surrender. Things will happen in their own way. The author warns against "rope pushing" when we try to make things happen before they are ready. Instead, we can be receptive to guidance and practice non-attachment.
8-You need to create a space for the activities you enjoy in your home. You also need to devote a time and space in your day just to "be", to meditate, to think, to enjoy your own presence and access awareness. Find a space (I use my walk-in closet), where you can be alone every day for 20+ minutes. Set a time for it and commit to showing up. Then open your journal and document observations.
9-If you have ever renovated part of your home, you know that things rarely go as planned. You can't fight it but you can "focus on what's in front of you". That is how you keep moving forward as opposed to getting stressed out, worn out and stuck. Practise seeing all obstacles as learning opportunities. What can I learn from this experience? Surrender to the process.
10-There is so much work that needs to happen to provide a structure that supports your home. It may feel that your build is not progressing when suddenly everything falls into place and you see that the end product is within reach. As you apply the principles of this book to your life, you will see tiny shifts and, eventually, you will be blown away by the quality of your life. You feel happier, balanced, aware and rested. It's a good idea to journal as you engage in this process because when you read over your notes at a later date, you will be able to see how your attitude and life changed over time.
11-When you move into a new house, you need manuals to help you learn how to work the various systems in your home. The Appendix of this book helps you create a manual to stay on track and review this process annually. Read this book, take notes, keep a journal and apply what you have learned. Every year, as you go through the questions, you will notice a shift and then, you can set new goals for yourself.
12-Clients often assume they need to move in order to live in their dream home. However, it's possible to create their dream home within their current house. People may believe they can't feel happy and fulfilled, as long as they live in their hometown or stay in the same job or remain married to their current partner. However, everything they need is within them. It's a matter of paying attention and being receptive. If you want to change the world, ask yourself if you'd like to see a parallel change in yourself. Pay attention to your stories about yourself, about others and about the world. There are no mistakes, only learning opportunities. What can you do right now to move forward?
Hopefully, these notes have stirred something within you and you feel inspired to read the book. You may even want to go over each chapter with a group of friends. Either way, taking the time to learn and practise the strategies in this book will improve your life enormously. Happy reading!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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