Racism

March 3rd, 2016

My husband and I love going to Florida each year. We have plans to visit Arizona, Texas, California and Hawaii. As we watch the rise of Donald Trump and contemplate what the US would become under his presidency, our plans to travel to these destinations seem doubtful. We stopped traveling to Mexico a few years ago because it didn't feel safe anymore. The US will not be any better if Trump gets his way. I am puzzled, not that people like Trump exist but that so many people think he's right. It scares me.

When I was young, I was not aware that I was darker than my white relatives. My mother was white, my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins-all white. No one ever mentioned that I was darker or different. It didn't seem important. In school, I had someone call me the "n" word. I felt the impact of that word, the mean intention and the strong response of those around me. I didn't know what it meant. Eventually, through my own frustration at having no answers for my friends' questions, I reached out to my mother. I asked her: who's my father, why am I darker, am I adopted, where is my father now, did you love each other, why aren't you together anymore?

I learned about my father, his color, the entire story of my conception (more than I wanted to know) and, I was left with more questions but I suddenly feared the answers. How much more information did I want? Was I ready for the answers? I eventually undertsood that my color made me different in the eyes of others. I noticed that most people didn't care what color I was but there were some who treated me different. I couldn't tell who was safe and who wasn't until it was too late. I'd say hello to someone and recognize that hateful, condescending look in their eyes-not safe.

I was in a few situations where I encountered the anger and hatred of others simply due to the color of my skin. It is very frightening to realize that this stranger wants to harm or even kill you and that he feels justified in doing so. I have learned to steer clear of people with that much anger in their heart and, up until now, I have perceived them as a minority.

There is a strong correlation with what happens in the US and what happens here in Canada. When I see people standing by Trump, it shakes me up. I wonder if this is how people truly feel out hère as well. It's not just my safety I worry about. My daughters are not dark but I am. When my daughter came home from her first day at school, I hugged her and asked her about her day. She asked me why I was dark-skinned and she was light-skinned. First day of school. It broke my heart. Like me, the color of our skin had never had any meaning to it until someone pointed it out.

When my eldest daughter was bullied a few years ago, I brought it up to one of the teachers and she asked me if I thought it was because of her tanned skin, because she looked different. I was shocked. It hadn't occured to me.

Regardless of our skin color, we all have feelings, we need to be safe and belong, we want to contribute and be free. I will continue to believe that most people are kind, loving, reasonable people. I will watch closely as the Americans vote for their next President. I hope with all my heart that the US continues to be the land of the free where the rights of all Americans are protected and the value of each individual life is recognized.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org