October 13th, 2016
Tomorrow is my daughter's eighth birthday. Both my daughters will stay home to celebrate. I will be eating cake, playing with her new toys, going out for lunch and taking lots of photos so my next post will be on Monday.
Today's post is about perseverance. There are so many sayings like: "Jump and the net will appear" or "Follow your heart and the money will come". I have followed my heart and I jumped without hesitation. Guess what? There was no net or money. However, I get to do what I love every day. This includes taking care of my family, participating in activities that contribute to my community and developing my skills as a writer, public speaker and art therapist. I also enjoy a better work-life balance now that I am my own employer.
This post was inspired by a 100 year old artist named Carmen Herrera. She was born in Havana, Cuba but spent a great deal of her life in New York. Her father was the founder of a newspaper, El Mundo, and her mother was a journalist. Carmen was creating innovative, minimalist art in the 50s along with Frank Stella. As a matter of fact, her geometric shapes and use of colour and contrasts were unparalleled. Why haven't you heard about this artist before now? She's a woman and, in the 50s, she was not included in art shows because of her gender. I
n the documentary, The 100 Years Show, Carmen recalls a moment when she met a woman who was the curator for an art gallery. A friend assured Carmen that this curator admired her work. Carmen went to see this woman, hoping to be included in an art show. This woman explained that she did love her work but she couldn't include a female artist in her exhibits. This shocked Carmen because it was another woman who was placing limitations on her.
Carmen married a photographer who encouraged Carmen's creativity and fully believed that her work would be recognized one day. They were great friends. He passed away at the age of 100 after years of suffering from dementia, becoming dependent on Carmen for his care. Carmen has created every day, finding purpose in "putting order in a chaotic world". No one was buying her art but she created for herself. She created because she simply had to do it. That is true passion.
It turns out, her husband was right. People started to recognize her talent and she is now selling her art, included in art shows, part of the collection in a dozen art galleries and, interviewed in various magazines and newspapers. Starting in 2002, she has enjoyed being a recognized and celebrated artist. While it saddens her that her husband never got to see her efforts pay off, she is grateful for the income. It allows her to stay at home and afford the supports she needs such as an art assistant, a physiotherapist and a chef.
Her documentary is short but inspiring. For all of you who have worked hard and have yet to reap the rewards of your labour, there is hope. Just keep doing what you love. Trust that you are where you are meant to be and, perhaps, one day when you least expect it, your moment will come. Hopefully, you won't be 100 years old when it does.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Thursday, 13 October 2016
Wednesday, 21 September 2016
Transgender Models
September 21st, 2016
A few days ago, I was having lunch with my husband in our favourite vietnamese restaurant. There is a huge television on the wall and usually, images of delicious food plays in the background as we eat. This week, they chose a different television channel. I believe the program that was playing was, The View. I don't normally watch television while I dine with my hubby but something caught my attention. This beautiful dark-skinned woman said something like: "They were asking for models, 6'2 and up, no one said I couldn't have a penis".
There were maybe three tables of clients in the restaurant. We were all paying attention at this point. The View was interviewing models from a transgender modelling agency. I thought this must be a new and innovative business but I looked it up when I got home and there were at least four agencies focused solely on transgender models.
I know transgender issues have been in the news due to controversy regarding the use of public restrooms, however, I have encountered transgendered individuals as a teenager working in a Healthy Sexuality theatre program and, as an art therapist through my group work in high schools as well as in private practice. The individuals I met and worked with were kind, regular people who were extremely compassionate due to the judgment of others directed at them.
As a teenager, all you want is to fit in and be part of a group. You hunger for acceptance and you strive to express yourself authentically. If there's one thing teens hate it's bullshit (pardon my language). They can sniff a fake from a mile away. They really want to figure out who they are, express this to their surroundings and be accepted.
Transgendered individuals may feel trapped in the wrong body. They feel like a girl even though they have a male anatomy and are raised as a boy. They can also feel like a boy even though they are anatomically a girl. This creates inner conflict as they attempt to be authentic. When they try to explain to parents, siblings and friends that they feel like someone of the opposite gender, these loved ones have no previous experience to draw on and they don't know how to respond. In some families, the response is rejection and pressure to stay as they are, the gender that feels wrong to them.
Other transgendered individuals don't want to be identified as a gender. They don't fit into either box, trying to be categorized is painful and frustrating for them. They don't want to be referred to as male or female. They may want to be called, Them, instead of her or him. When we are doing art about this, I find it helpful to have my clients paint their essence, who they are inside. Poetry is also a great tool to give a voice to this inner self.
I was happy to see that some modelling agencies are embracing the beauty of all people. We are most beautiful when we are being true to ourselves. A few models who were being interviewed mentioned feeling safer in their work as models while working for these agencies. They don't need to explain anything, the companies employing them already know they are transgender. This is a great way to embrace their individuality and provide role models for a wider range of teenagers. Just as we now have plus size models, black models, asian models as well as skinny, white models to reflect the diversity and beauty in our community, we can now show transgender individuals that they are represented and valued.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
A few days ago, I was having lunch with my husband in our favourite vietnamese restaurant. There is a huge television on the wall and usually, images of delicious food plays in the background as we eat. This week, they chose a different television channel. I believe the program that was playing was, The View. I don't normally watch television while I dine with my hubby but something caught my attention. This beautiful dark-skinned woman said something like: "They were asking for models, 6'2 and up, no one said I couldn't have a penis".
There were maybe three tables of clients in the restaurant. We were all paying attention at this point. The View was interviewing models from a transgender modelling agency. I thought this must be a new and innovative business but I looked it up when I got home and there were at least four agencies focused solely on transgender models.
I know transgender issues have been in the news due to controversy regarding the use of public restrooms, however, I have encountered transgendered individuals as a teenager working in a Healthy Sexuality theatre program and, as an art therapist through my group work in high schools as well as in private practice. The individuals I met and worked with were kind, regular people who were extremely compassionate due to the judgment of others directed at them.
As a teenager, all you want is to fit in and be part of a group. You hunger for acceptance and you strive to express yourself authentically. If there's one thing teens hate it's bullshit (pardon my language). They can sniff a fake from a mile away. They really want to figure out who they are, express this to their surroundings and be accepted.
Transgendered individuals may feel trapped in the wrong body. They feel like a girl even though they have a male anatomy and are raised as a boy. They can also feel like a boy even though they are anatomically a girl. This creates inner conflict as they attempt to be authentic. When they try to explain to parents, siblings and friends that they feel like someone of the opposite gender, these loved ones have no previous experience to draw on and they don't know how to respond. In some families, the response is rejection and pressure to stay as they are, the gender that feels wrong to them.
Other transgendered individuals don't want to be identified as a gender. They don't fit into either box, trying to be categorized is painful and frustrating for them. They don't want to be referred to as male or female. They may want to be called, Them, instead of her or him. When we are doing art about this, I find it helpful to have my clients paint their essence, who they are inside. Poetry is also a great tool to give a voice to this inner self.
I was happy to see that some modelling agencies are embracing the beauty of all people. We are most beautiful when we are being true to ourselves. A few models who were being interviewed mentioned feeling safer in their work as models while working for these agencies. They don't need to explain anything, the companies employing them already know they are transgender. This is a great way to embrace their individuality and provide role models for a wider range of teenagers. Just as we now have plus size models, black models, asian models as well as skinny, white models to reflect the diversity and beauty in our community, we can now show transgender individuals that they are represented and valued.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 20 June 2016
Sexy and Seven?
June 20th, 2016
Yesterday, I took my youngest out with me to buy a Subway sandwich for tomorrow's school lunch. I try to offer something different every day of the week and she loves Subway's turkey subs. She had been swimming with her sister and friend earlier in the day so she was wearing her one piece swimsuit with capri shorts over top. As I stood at the far end of the counter, waiting for my turn to order her food, she walked over to the area closer to the cash to decide whether she would have a raisin oatmeal cookie or garden tomato flavoured Sun chips. So far, pretty typical activity, right?
Imagine my surprise when I looked over at her and spotted a table of teenagers. There were three or four teenagers sitting at the end of a group of tables closer to my daughter. Their parents were sitting at the opposite end of these tables, closer to the window, talking amongst themselves, oblivious to their sons. These boys were turning in their seats to look at my daughter, they were giggling and holding up their phones. It looked like they were filming her but I didn't want to jump to conclusions.
I thought, this isn't possible. She is seven years old, why would they be filming her? However, the giggling and the looks on their faces led me to believe that they were seeing my seven year old daughter like a potential sexual object. I tried to be rational. They are with their parents, they are probably laughing at something on their computers, something they are looking at that is already filmed and they happened to look at my youngest for some other reason. I did not want to burden my daughter who perceives herself as a child, and rightfully so, by reacting to these boys, accusing them of what I felt was inappropriate behaviour. Where is my proof? I did not want to go over and talk to them because I felt very angry and I worried that if they were doing what I thought and responded with a whatever attitude I might end up doing something I would regret. I walked over to my daughter and blocked their view. She did not notice any of this. I paid for the food and left.
It has bothered me ever since. When you just get a gut feeling and you are having a strong emotional reaction, it is difficult to know how to respond. It could all be a misunderstanding but what if it isn't? How do you approach this in a calm manner? "Excuse me, are you filming my seven year old daughter? Are you saying and thinking sexual thoughts about a seven year old? Can I see what is on your phones? Can you stay here while I call the police and have you arrested?" It was all so surreal.
I have given it a great deal of thought.
On the weekend, we went over to a friend's house for a BBQ. They have a daughter who is in my eldest daughter's class and they have a son who is a teenager. The kids were playing outside, having a great time. They were planning to have a sleepover. My youngest was excited to have a sleepover at their house and asked me when we were leaving because she wanted to feel grown up. The son's friend showed up for a sleepover as well. Suddenly, the dynamics changed. My daughters, their friend and her brother had been playing together before, jumping on the trampoline, running through the sprinklers and goofing around.
Now, they all went inside. We were outside eating. The kids were having too much fun to stop and eat just yet. Next thing I know, my daughters are coming to see me, asking me to help their friend. Her brother and his friend are taking stuff from her room, where the girls were playing, running away to hide her stuff and then wrestling with her. I asked if they were play fighting. My daughters said they weren't, they were hurting her, she was saying ouch and stop. I stood up to go in and investigate. Their friend came out and was putting on a brave face. She is 9 years old. She said: "Sorry about that, boys will be boys". I could tell she was upset despite her forced smile. I asked her if she'd like to sleep over at our house instead. I knew my girls no longer felt safe enough to stay there. They were upset by what had just happened. The girls packed her bag and we left shortly after. I did talk to the other parents about what had happened. They seemed to agree with the little girl's statement: "Oh well, boys will be boys".
Both of these experiences happened in one weekend. It makes me nervous. I have two confident, beautiful, smart, creative and sweet girls. The thought that they could be intimidated and made to feel unsafe by a few guys who just think it's funny to scare or hurt them is alarming to me. I worry about them in situations where a bunch of guys are looking at them and treating them like sexual objects. As women, we learn how to deal with this but I still wish we didn't have to. I still hope that, at some point, boys will be raised to see girls as people not just objects to be conquered. I'd love to see boys who respect girls and treat them well. These experiences have made me aware that we have not reached that point in time. I fear for my daughters. They have no idea.
I don't know what I can do as a woman without a son. This would make for such a great documentary, recording the changes in the perception of boys and girls as they move from ages 7-19 regarding the value of the opposite gender, how to interact with them and what is appropriate behaviour/language. I'm sure it would be an eye opener.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Yesterday, I took my youngest out with me to buy a Subway sandwich for tomorrow's school lunch. I try to offer something different every day of the week and she loves Subway's turkey subs. She had been swimming with her sister and friend earlier in the day so she was wearing her one piece swimsuit with capri shorts over top. As I stood at the far end of the counter, waiting for my turn to order her food, she walked over to the area closer to the cash to decide whether she would have a raisin oatmeal cookie or garden tomato flavoured Sun chips. So far, pretty typical activity, right?
Imagine my surprise when I looked over at her and spotted a table of teenagers. There were three or four teenagers sitting at the end of a group of tables closer to my daughter. Their parents were sitting at the opposite end of these tables, closer to the window, talking amongst themselves, oblivious to their sons. These boys were turning in their seats to look at my daughter, they were giggling and holding up their phones. It looked like they were filming her but I didn't want to jump to conclusions.
I thought, this isn't possible. She is seven years old, why would they be filming her? However, the giggling and the looks on their faces led me to believe that they were seeing my seven year old daughter like a potential sexual object. I tried to be rational. They are with their parents, they are probably laughing at something on their computers, something they are looking at that is already filmed and they happened to look at my youngest for some other reason. I did not want to burden my daughter who perceives herself as a child, and rightfully so, by reacting to these boys, accusing them of what I felt was inappropriate behaviour. Where is my proof? I did not want to go over and talk to them because I felt very angry and I worried that if they were doing what I thought and responded with a whatever attitude I might end up doing something I would regret. I walked over to my daughter and blocked their view. She did not notice any of this. I paid for the food and left.
It has bothered me ever since. When you just get a gut feeling and you are having a strong emotional reaction, it is difficult to know how to respond. It could all be a misunderstanding but what if it isn't? How do you approach this in a calm manner? "Excuse me, are you filming my seven year old daughter? Are you saying and thinking sexual thoughts about a seven year old? Can I see what is on your phones? Can you stay here while I call the police and have you arrested?" It was all so surreal.
I have given it a great deal of thought.
On the weekend, we went over to a friend's house for a BBQ. They have a daughter who is in my eldest daughter's class and they have a son who is a teenager. The kids were playing outside, having a great time. They were planning to have a sleepover. My youngest was excited to have a sleepover at their house and asked me when we were leaving because she wanted to feel grown up. The son's friend showed up for a sleepover as well. Suddenly, the dynamics changed. My daughters, their friend and her brother had been playing together before, jumping on the trampoline, running through the sprinklers and goofing around.
Now, they all went inside. We were outside eating. The kids were having too much fun to stop and eat just yet. Next thing I know, my daughters are coming to see me, asking me to help their friend. Her brother and his friend are taking stuff from her room, where the girls were playing, running away to hide her stuff and then wrestling with her. I asked if they were play fighting. My daughters said they weren't, they were hurting her, she was saying ouch and stop. I stood up to go in and investigate. Their friend came out and was putting on a brave face. She is 9 years old. She said: "Sorry about that, boys will be boys". I could tell she was upset despite her forced smile. I asked her if she'd like to sleep over at our house instead. I knew my girls no longer felt safe enough to stay there. They were upset by what had just happened. The girls packed her bag and we left shortly after. I did talk to the other parents about what had happened. They seemed to agree with the little girl's statement: "Oh well, boys will be boys".
Both of these experiences happened in one weekend. It makes me nervous. I have two confident, beautiful, smart, creative and sweet girls. The thought that they could be intimidated and made to feel unsafe by a few guys who just think it's funny to scare or hurt them is alarming to me. I worry about them in situations where a bunch of guys are looking at them and treating them like sexual objects. As women, we learn how to deal with this but I still wish we didn't have to. I still hope that, at some point, boys will be raised to see girls as people not just objects to be conquered. I'd love to see boys who respect girls and treat them well. These experiences have made me aware that we have not reached that point in time. I fear for my daughters. They have no idea.
I don't know what I can do as a woman without a son. This would make for such a great documentary, recording the changes in the perception of boys and girls as they move from ages 7-19 regarding the value of the opposite gender, how to interact with them and what is appropriate behaviour/language. I'm sure it would be an eye opener.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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