October 10th, 2016
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I am feeling so grateful this year in particular. My mother joins us every year for our feast. It was great to have her here with us. We designed special cards for each other to express our gratitude. My daughters, mother, husband and myself hand wrote why we were grateful for each member of our family. Then we exchanged our handmade cards. We expressed our gratitude out loud during supper. It was so sweet to hear my girls talk about how lucky they felt to be in our family and to have each other.
We savoured our delicious turkey supper with carrots, potatoes, brussel sprouts and cranberry jelly which my husband had so meticulously prepared. He is such an awesome cook!
As I drove my mother home, I was thankful for the sunshine and multi-coloured trees lining the 416 and Prince of Wales drive. My mother told me she learned a great deal from watching my daughters. My husband took our youngest out to buy clothing. Her birthday is next weekend and she has outgrown her clothing. My mother was meeting them at the store. She watched my daughter decide without hesitation which items of clothing she liked. My mother said she couldn't recall ever being that certain about anything. Growing up, she wasn't asked her opinion. If she had expressed it, chances are, her observations would not have been well received.
As we designed our cards, my daughter couldn't decide what to write and how to shape her paper. I had pumpkin-shaped papers, my husband had flags, my eldest daughter and mom both had hearts, so my youngest thought she might create stars. She didn't like the way her stars turned out. I offered to help but she pretended she didn't want to write cards. We accepted her decision to not make cards. She then came up with her own invention. She sculpted hearts out of red clay, she wrote, I love you!, on each one and placed a feather at the top, a different colour for each of us. My mother was impressed with her creativity and her freedom to express her gratitude her way.
I felt grateful that my daughters were having a good time, playing together, chasing the pets around the house and participating in this art activity. I also felt lucky to live in my home, a lovely family home, warm and spacious, loved and lived-in. I am thankful that my husband is such an excellent cook, that my mother is open to learning from her grand-daughters and sharing her insight with me. I am grateful that my daughters are older now. This means they are more independent and they are able to express their thoughts and feelings with words.
We have been through so much as a family and I am thrilled that we are all here in this moment, enjoying and loving one another. I am proud of my family with our two sweet pets. Our golden lab who is affectionate and excited to see us every day. Our sleepy, mellow cat who allows the girls to dress him up, carry him like a baby and make him dance in the most embarrassing ways (see photo of George with his sombrero on my FB page).
I have one more thing to be grateful for this year. Ever since I have posted about The Mommy Monologues on this blog and on FB, I have been inundated with stories from moms who have been through challenging pregnancies, births and traumatic experiences. They have survived and are sharing their stories to help other moms who are still battling. I am so grateful for their honesty and courage.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Monday, 10 October 2016
Friday, 17 June 2016
Father's Day
June 17th, 2016
I never knew my father. As a child, on Father's Day I either created a card for my uncle Jack or my grandfather. It was normal for me, no one made a big deal out of it so it didn't bother me. When my husband and I got married, my uncle Jack walked me down the aisle. It was a special moment that I will treasure forever.
My husband did know his father. I don't think he knew him well because he was rarely home, and when he was, there was violence, tension and, nine months later, a new sibling.
When we had our first child, I saw the most amazing look on my husband's face. I had lost a lot of blood and required stitching so no one paid attention to him. He was walking around with our daughter all bundled up, showing her off. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to do that but by the time the nurses noticed he had gotten around the unit and everyone had met Molly. I have a photo of Vincent holding Molly in his arms, beaming with pride.
Fatherhood was challenging for my husband at first. He had plenty of negative role models and he desperately wanted to be a good dad. I had no idea what dads did on a daily basis. I was close to my uncle Jack, my grandfather and my Godfather but I didn't live with them so I had no clue how a father interacts with his daughter day to day.
Over time, Vincent found his own way to bond with our daughters but their relationship didn't bloom until the girls were older. Now, he is known for his silliness. He makes the girls laugh. They know they can depend on him- he does what he says and shows up when he's supposed to. He is very affectionate and always kisses their booboos. He tells them they are "clever" and that he loves them. He is also more interested in fashion than I am. He's a stylist so he knows what is in and what isn't. He buys the girls cool outfits and accessories. I am clueless when it comes to fashion. I don't know or care what's in and I don't wear accessories (or makeup for that matter).
Father's Day was never really special to me before but, now that the children and I are celebrating my husband, it has a new meaning for me. I am proud that my children will grow up knowing their father and that he is a positive influence in their lives. I was shopping for cards from my children and from myself for my husband and it struck me how different Father's Day cards are from Mother's Day cards. The messages for dads are about feeling safe, cared for and protected. The Mother's Day cards are more about being nurtured and loved. Both roles are important. We balance each other out.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, spending time with their children, working hard, being a great role model and source of love for the next generation!
Anne Walsh
www.artsnoul.org
I never knew my father. As a child, on Father's Day I either created a card for my uncle Jack or my grandfather. It was normal for me, no one made a big deal out of it so it didn't bother me. When my husband and I got married, my uncle Jack walked me down the aisle. It was a special moment that I will treasure forever.
My husband did know his father. I don't think he knew him well because he was rarely home, and when he was, there was violence, tension and, nine months later, a new sibling.
When we had our first child, I saw the most amazing look on my husband's face. I had lost a lot of blood and required stitching so no one paid attention to him. He was walking around with our daughter all bundled up, showing her off. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to do that but by the time the nurses noticed he had gotten around the unit and everyone had met Molly. I have a photo of Vincent holding Molly in his arms, beaming with pride.
Fatherhood was challenging for my husband at first. He had plenty of negative role models and he desperately wanted to be a good dad. I had no idea what dads did on a daily basis. I was close to my uncle Jack, my grandfather and my Godfather but I didn't live with them so I had no clue how a father interacts with his daughter day to day.
Over time, Vincent found his own way to bond with our daughters but their relationship didn't bloom until the girls were older. Now, he is known for his silliness. He makes the girls laugh. They know they can depend on him- he does what he says and shows up when he's supposed to. He is very affectionate and always kisses their booboos. He tells them they are "clever" and that he loves them. He is also more interested in fashion than I am. He's a stylist so he knows what is in and what isn't. He buys the girls cool outfits and accessories. I am clueless when it comes to fashion. I don't know or care what's in and I don't wear accessories (or makeup for that matter).
Father's Day was never really special to me before but, now that the children and I are celebrating my husband, it has a new meaning for me. I am proud that my children will grow up knowing their father and that he is a positive influence in their lives. I was shopping for cards from my children and from myself for my husband and it struck me how different Father's Day cards are from Mother's Day cards. The messages for dads are about feeling safe, cared for and protected. The Mother's Day cards are more about being nurtured and loved. Both roles are important. We balance each other out.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, spending time with their children, working hard, being a great role model and source of love for the next generation!
Anne Walsh
www.artsnoul.org
Wednesday, 1 June 2016
Steven Vincent Walsh-Biography
June 1st, 2016
As promised, here is the biography that was gathered over weeks of interviews with my husband, Vincent Walsh.
Vincent was born and raised in Mill Hill, London but his happiest times were in Edgware. He described his mother, Patricia Rosemary Walsh as feisty, funny, anxious, insecure and needy. His father, Edmund Christopher Walsh was creative, violent, mystical, angry and selfish.
Vincent is the eldest of five children. His sister Tracy is considered the most "normal" of the five. Lesley is a self-destructive alcoholic tortured by her relationship with her father. Daryl is a very funny, sweet, emotional guy who was torn into a thousand little pieces. Shelley is emotionally volatile, utterly selfish and given to horrendous mood swings.
As a child, Vincent was secretive and self-protective. "I lived in my own world, created by me. I looked for safety in my grandma's arms. I felt separated from the rest of the family on every level. I wondered what I was doing there most of the time". His favourite activities as a child were being in nature, going to the woods at his Aunt Catherine's house. He also loved getting lost in the woods behind his own home.
When I asked Vincent to share a story about his childhood, this is what he described:
"Every weekend I was released into the warm glow of my grandmother's care. Usually we would take the green line bus from outside of her flat in Edgware all the way down the Edgware road and into the centre of London. We would shop, eat, watch movies and revel in each other's company, the age between us being immaterial. Her flat was always warm and there was always delicious food to eat. Those weekends were what I lived for".
Vincent's home life while growing up was cold, violent, undisciplined and unpredictable. There was very little food and a depressing atmosphere that came from a mixture of fear and neglect. "There was constant fighting between my mother and father whenever he was around, after the fighting he would usually leave and, a little while later, she would find herself pregnant once again. Quite often I would see my mother with at least a black eye and some bruising. My mom slept late into the day even when we were young kids and I believe she was depressed at that time. We moved fairly often but it usually improved (houses and area) when we did".
"School offered me a respite from the calamities at home. I didn't like it that much. To me it seemed slow and pointless but somehow I was good at it. So good in fact that, in my second year of secondary school, two of my teachers perceived the damage that home life was inflicting on me and offered me a scholarship at a private school which I refused mostly because I felt that I stood out enough as it was already and, at a private school in London in 1969, I would have been the object of ridicule. As much for my undisciplined upbringing and my obvious working class roots. So I stayed where I was unwillingly and tolerated the mayhem until the soonest possible moment that I could escape both school and home".
During Vin's teen life, "London was evolving from decades of repression, sexually and socially and, the newfound morals of my generation were at utter odds to the ones that came before as it is with most generations and with good reason. Music, fashion and hairstyles, which were all closely intertwined at this point, was like total catnip to me. There were a few head turning acts at this time. But, none had the shock value, charisma, raw sexuality and talent of David Bowie. The added bonus was that my mother utterly hated him on sight thereby cementing my adoration and lifelong fanaticism. My personal rebellion was more in the form of doing everything and anything I could to be absolutely nothing like my family. This meant working and having a dream with a path attached to it which I follow to this day".
When it came time to choose a career, Vincent explains that: "At the end of the 60s and into the early 70s, the irresistible combined forces of the genius of Vidal Sassoon and the visceral pull of David Bowie left me unable to resist. Within them I found a nexus of freedom, creativity and rebellion that unlocked me. I became a hairstylist in 1972 and it has been the glue that held together my sometimes wobbly existence. It has provided me with food, clothing and shelter, stereophonic sound and technicolor daydreams. I owe far more to it than it ill ever owe to me. I have never been bored yet remain almost always mildly frustrated".
As a young adult, Vincent's aspirations were as follows:"I dreamed of being an astronaut first when I was 12 after staying up all night to watch Neil Armstrong land on the moon which, for me of course, was never going to happen. After I had been abducted by Bowie and Sassoon, my path became clearer and so did my dreams. I wanted to build a life on the foundation of working as much as possible and travelling every chance I got. I wanted to flee the sinking ship that was mid-70s England-crewed by my family. My first thought was South Africa but the widespread social violence of apartheid was too daunting. Then my thoughts roamed to Australia but it was simply too far away. Then, Canada...
Next, I asked Vincent about his love life. It was weird to hear him describe our relationship. "I first met my wife when she came and sat in my chair. I was deep in the weeds of feeling sorry for myself after a disorienting long-term relationship with a serial bolster and I was still licking my wounds so I resisted a very strong urge to ask her out on a date which I overcame with confidence a few months later". I listened intently as Vincent talked about our wedding day. "It had rained for almost two solid weeks leading up to the wedding day. Everything was drenched, wet and cold. The ceremony was due to be performed in the morning of Sunday, August the 15th, at a beautiful victorian farm house. As providence would have it the skies cleared the day before and the sun shone making everything absolutely perfect. This may have something to do with the French tradition of hanging a rosary on the washing line for good weather which worked like magic. It was slightly surreal in its perfection. After the short but delicate and beautiful ceremony, we socially lubricated our 55 guests with much champagne while we went off and had our pictures taken. The whole affair was sublime, gentle and perfect. So much so that we both agreed-wouldn't it be great if we could do it all again?
Our honeymoon was carefree days and nights at the Chateau Montebello where we ate and drank to our heart's content and thought about our future. Neither of us could comprehend at that moment. It remains set in stone as the bedrock four our lives. It will never be less than it was. My wife came to me in the early hours of the morning one day telling me that she had taken pregnancy test and that she was indeed pregnant. My response was a very excited: 'Show me!'.
Becoming a parent made me aware of how selfish I had been before having children and the almost overwhelming changes that would have to occur if I was going to become the parent I wanted to be. Becoming a parent emotionally brought me to my knees and I had to learn again how to stand then walk then run. I had never felt the depth of feelings that I have felt for my children and that scared the living daylights out of me. They are my world and I live for and through them. Only when I remembered what it was like to be child did I know how to become a man".
Vin's fondest memories of that time in his life: "The most powerful thing was in the first year, watching a new human being adapt and grow to the world around them, seeing a child take the first steps, eating new food and learning how to communicate were remarkable on a level I had never experienced before. It grabbed me by the heart and by the brain and didn't let go". I asked Vincent was he was most proud of regarding his parenting. "The learned ability to leave behind what had happened to me and try and give the children a chance in life that I'd never had, to hope". Asked what he would do differently..."I have to say that's a loaded question because of the experiences I have both from my childhood and early adulthood, I have plenty of scar tissue that I couldn't hide any longer but I realized that everything that happened to me led me to where I am today. So, in conclusion, I wouldn't change a thing, no regrets, only memories".
Vin describes his biggest accomplishment in life as: "Staying alive, learning, growing, facing and overcoming obstacles, being a father and a husband, learning who I was and enjoying life". His only regrets in life are: "I wanted to be an astronaut and a rock star, the rest is still up for grabs". I asked my husband if he is satisfied with his life so far. His response was: " Satisfied is not a descriptive enough term in my opinion. I am leaning more towards happy and delighted. It seems to me there is a smugness in 'satisfaction' and that is not what I am feeling".
The only thing Vincent would like to change about his current life is that he'd like to live in a warm climate "anytime now please"! I asked Vincent how he felt about aging. "The fact that my father died at 41 coloured my view before and after I reached that age. Before 41 I was terrified that the same fate would befall me. Leading away from it, every day became a gift and irreplaceable. But, in the words of someone much older and wiser than me, 'Everything I have two of, one of them hurts', that's aging.
There have been many teachers in my life. Some of them have inadvertently given me survival skills but only one cherished and nurtured me when I needed it the most and that was my paternal grandmother, Mary, whom I still miss to this day and I always will.
I have a really close friendship with a friend of mine, David, who was tortured and abused horribly by his father. It took us almost the entire course of our 50+ year relationship to come to terms with the abuse and to learn to talk about it with each other which was a great relief to both of us and cemented our relationship even further.
Another friend of mine is Lawrence. We've been friends for over 30 years. He has a 6 year old daughter which made him really shine in the past few years. He knows a lot of my shadows and he still chooses to be a friend of mine-I like that, that to me is cool. I don't seek out new friendships generally, I prefer them to happen organically whenever possible but I've recently embraced a friendship with someone who has all the hallmarks for the long haul. Welcome aboard, Daniel, Brother"!
Vincent reflected on the turning points in his life. "First one I think would have to be leaving school. It was a monotonous torture, doled out with violent military precision by former WW2 officers masquerading as teachers. The next would be leaving England for Canada on my own with not even a clue of what I was doing or where I was going. Opening up my first business and swopping out tyrannical overlord status was up next. A failed marriage to humble me and a happy one to reward me. The children were the cherry, the icing-and the cream filling all wrapped up in one".
What lessons would Vincent like to communicate to the next generation? "Don't worry so much. Problems come and problems go. Love is forever. Worry is temporary. Eat the dessert, drink the wine, jump in the ocean, one day you won't be able to do those things and you'll wish you had. Remember, memories-no regrets. I'd like to be remembered for trying and eventually succeeding to live life on my own terms. For being the best father and husband that I could possibly be and seeing the rewards in another generation".
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
As promised, here is the biography that was gathered over weeks of interviews with my husband, Vincent Walsh.
Vincent was born and raised in Mill Hill, London but his happiest times were in Edgware. He described his mother, Patricia Rosemary Walsh as feisty, funny, anxious, insecure and needy. His father, Edmund Christopher Walsh was creative, violent, mystical, angry and selfish.
Vincent is the eldest of five children. His sister Tracy is considered the most "normal" of the five. Lesley is a self-destructive alcoholic tortured by her relationship with her father. Daryl is a very funny, sweet, emotional guy who was torn into a thousand little pieces. Shelley is emotionally volatile, utterly selfish and given to horrendous mood swings.
As a child, Vincent was secretive and self-protective. "I lived in my own world, created by me. I looked for safety in my grandma's arms. I felt separated from the rest of the family on every level. I wondered what I was doing there most of the time". His favourite activities as a child were being in nature, going to the woods at his Aunt Catherine's house. He also loved getting lost in the woods behind his own home.
When I asked Vincent to share a story about his childhood, this is what he described:
"Every weekend I was released into the warm glow of my grandmother's care. Usually we would take the green line bus from outside of her flat in Edgware all the way down the Edgware road and into the centre of London. We would shop, eat, watch movies and revel in each other's company, the age between us being immaterial. Her flat was always warm and there was always delicious food to eat. Those weekends were what I lived for".
Vincent's home life while growing up was cold, violent, undisciplined and unpredictable. There was very little food and a depressing atmosphere that came from a mixture of fear and neglect. "There was constant fighting between my mother and father whenever he was around, after the fighting he would usually leave and, a little while later, she would find herself pregnant once again. Quite often I would see my mother with at least a black eye and some bruising. My mom slept late into the day even when we were young kids and I believe she was depressed at that time. We moved fairly often but it usually improved (houses and area) when we did".
"School offered me a respite from the calamities at home. I didn't like it that much. To me it seemed slow and pointless but somehow I was good at it. So good in fact that, in my second year of secondary school, two of my teachers perceived the damage that home life was inflicting on me and offered me a scholarship at a private school which I refused mostly because I felt that I stood out enough as it was already and, at a private school in London in 1969, I would have been the object of ridicule. As much for my undisciplined upbringing and my obvious working class roots. So I stayed where I was unwillingly and tolerated the mayhem until the soonest possible moment that I could escape both school and home".
During Vin's teen life, "London was evolving from decades of repression, sexually and socially and, the newfound morals of my generation were at utter odds to the ones that came before as it is with most generations and with good reason. Music, fashion and hairstyles, which were all closely intertwined at this point, was like total catnip to me. There were a few head turning acts at this time. But, none had the shock value, charisma, raw sexuality and talent of David Bowie. The added bonus was that my mother utterly hated him on sight thereby cementing my adoration and lifelong fanaticism. My personal rebellion was more in the form of doing everything and anything I could to be absolutely nothing like my family. This meant working and having a dream with a path attached to it which I follow to this day".
When it came time to choose a career, Vincent explains that: "At the end of the 60s and into the early 70s, the irresistible combined forces of the genius of Vidal Sassoon and the visceral pull of David Bowie left me unable to resist. Within them I found a nexus of freedom, creativity and rebellion that unlocked me. I became a hairstylist in 1972 and it has been the glue that held together my sometimes wobbly existence. It has provided me with food, clothing and shelter, stereophonic sound and technicolor daydreams. I owe far more to it than it ill ever owe to me. I have never been bored yet remain almost always mildly frustrated".
As a young adult, Vincent's aspirations were as follows:"I dreamed of being an astronaut first when I was 12 after staying up all night to watch Neil Armstrong land on the moon which, for me of course, was never going to happen. After I had been abducted by Bowie and Sassoon, my path became clearer and so did my dreams. I wanted to build a life on the foundation of working as much as possible and travelling every chance I got. I wanted to flee the sinking ship that was mid-70s England-crewed by my family. My first thought was South Africa but the widespread social violence of apartheid was too daunting. Then my thoughts roamed to Australia but it was simply too far away. Then, Canada...
Next, I asked Vincent about his love life. It was weird to hear him describe our relationship. "I first met my wife when she came and sat in my chair. I was deep in the weeds of feeling sorry for myself after a disorienting long-term relationship with a serial bolster and I was still licking my wounds so I resisted a very strong urge to ask her out on a date which I overcame with confidence a few months later". I listened intently as Vincent talked about our wedding day. "It had rained for almost two solid weeks leading up to the wedding day. Everything was drenched, wet and cold. The ceremony was due to be performed in the morning of Sunday, August the 15th, at a beautiful victorian farm house. As providence would have it the skies cleared the day before and the sun shone making everything absolutely perfect. This may have something to do with the French tradition of hanging a rosary on the washing line for good weather which worked like magic. It was slightly surreal in its perfection. After the short but delicate and beautiful ceremony, we socially lubricated our 55 guests with much champagne while we went off and had our pictures taken. The whole affair was sublime, gentle and perfect. So much so that we both agreed-wouldn't it be great if we could do it all again?
Our honeymoon was carefree days and nights at the Chateau Montebello where we ate and drank to our heart's content and thought about our future. Neither of us could comprehend at that moment. It remains set in stone as the bedrock four our lives. It will never be less than it was. My wife came to me in the early hours of the morning one day telling me that she had taken pregnancy test and that she was indeed pregnant. My response was a very excited: 'Show me!'.
Becoming a parent made me aware of how selfish I had been before having children and the almost overwhelming changes that would have to occur if I was going to become the parent I wanted to be. Becoming a parent emotionally brought me to my knees and I had to learn again how to stand then walk then run. I had never felt the depth of feelings that I have felt for my children and that scared the living daylights out of me. They are my world and I live for and through them. Only when I remembered what it was like to be child did I know how to become a man".
Vin's fondest memories of that time in his life: "The most powerful thing was in the first year, watching a new human being adapt and grow to the world around them, seeing a child take the first steps, eating new food and learning how to communicate were remarkable on a level I had never experienced before. It grabbed me by the heart and by the brain and didn't let go". I asked Vincent was he was most proud of regarding his parenting. "The learned ability to leave behind what had happened to me and try and give the children a chance in life that I'd never had, to hope". Asked what he would do differently..."I have to say that's a loaded question because of the experiences I have both from my childhood and early adulthood, I have plenty of scar tissue that I couldn't hide any longer but I realized that everything that happened to me led me to where I am today. So, in conclusion, I wouldn't change a thing, no regrets, only memories".
Vin describes his biggest accomplishment in life as: "Staying alive, learning, growing, facing and overcoming obstacles, being a father and a husband, learning who I was and enjoying life". His only regrets in life are: "I wanted to be an astronaut and a rock star, the rest is still up for grabs". I asked my husband if he is satisfied with his life so far. His response was: " Satisfied is not a descriptive enough term in my opinion. I am leaning more towards happy and delighted. It seems to me there is a smugness in 'satisfaction' and that is not what I am feeling".
The only thing Vincent would like to change about his current life is that he'd like to live in a warm climate "anytime now please"! I asked Vincent how he felt about aging. "The fact that my father died at 41 coloured my view before and after I reached that age. Before 41 I was terrified that the same fate would befall me. Leading away from it, every day became a gift and irreplaceable. But, in the words of someone much older and wiser than me, 'Everything I have two of, one of them hurts', that's aging.
There have been many teachers in my life. Some of them have inadvertently given me survival skills but only one cherished and nurtured me when I needed it the most and that was my paternal grandmother, Mary, whom I still miss to this day and I always will.
I have a really close friendship with a friend of mine, David, who was tortured and abused horribly by his father. It took us almost the entire course of our 50+ year relationship to come to terms with the abuse and to learn to talk about it with each other which was a great relief to both of us and cemented our relationship even further.
Another friend of mine is Lawrence. We've been friends for over 30 years. He has a 6 year old daughter which made him really shine in the past few years. He knows a lot of my shadows and he still chooses to be a friend of mine-I like that, that to me is cool. I don't seek out new friendships generally, I prefer them to happen organically whenever possible but I've recently embraced a friendship with someone who has all the hallmarks for the long haul. Welcome aboard, Daniel, Brother"!
Vincent reflected on the turning points in his life. "First one I think would have to be leaving school. It was a monotonous torture, doled out with violent military precision by former WW2 officers masquerading as teachers. The next would be leaving England for Canada on my own with not even a clue of what I was doing or where I was going. Opening up my first business and swopping out tyrannical overlord status was up next. A failed marriage to humble me and a happy one to reward me. The children were the cherry, the icing-and the cream filling all wrapped up in one".
What lessons would Vincent like to communicate to the next generation? "Don't worry so much. Problems come and problems go. Love is forever. Worry is temporary. Eat the dessert, drink the wine, jump in the ocean, one day you won't be able to do those things and you'll wish you had. Remember, memories-no regrets. I'd like to be remembered for trying and eventually succeeding to live life on my own terms. For being the best father and husband that I could possibly be and seeing the rewards in another generation".
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 18 May 2016
The Story of Poobum and Pompom
May 18th, 2016
I was minding my own business when a Fed Ex truck pulled up to my home. As I made my way to the front door, he deposited two boxes and left. I scanned the boxes, expecting them to be filled with products for my husband's work. To my surprise, they were addressed to me. I recognized the label-Burnstown Publishing. These were my books. I was shocked!
I wrote some children's books on my iPad years ago. Meredith Luce, a local illustrator, agreed to illustrate my first book, Have You Hugged Your Alien? two years ago. It was well received and it became part of my series of workshops for elementary schools. Meredith illustrated the second book, The Story of Poobum and Pompom last fall. We had hoped to hit the markets at Christmas but two things happened: 1) The book wasn't printed until January and, 2) when it did get printed, it was all mixed up. Meredith and I were bummed.
I set out to find a publisher and went through a variety of quotes. When I spoke to Tim Gordon at Burnstown Publishing, I felt like I was at the right place. There were many parallels between what he was trying to accomplish and my hopes for my books. It has been a long road but I have my book, I can hold it in my hands and read it to my children. Now all I have to do is set a date for my book launch. I am hoping it will be at the public library in Kemptville before the end of the school year.
The Story of Poobum and Pompom is about sibling rivalry. Poobum the dog has this fantastic life then his parents decide to adopt a kitten. The book documents their relationship from rivalry to friendship. My inspiration for this book came from my own experience with my two lovely daughters. My eldest, Molly, had a great life filled with lots of love and attention. When my youngest, Stella, was born, it was a huge adjustment. My eldest felt betrayed. She was very angry and tried to harm her sister on a daily basis.
She went from despising her sister to tolerating her over the first year. Then, as Stella grew and became more interactive, Molly started doing things to make her laugh like her "boom chicka boom" song. When Stella started eating solids, Molly enjoyed feeding her and, she was present when Stella took her first steps. It wasn't until Stella was approximately 2 1/2 years old that Molly decided they would be friends. Molly would hold her hand or hug her. By then, Stella had learned to keep her distance so she wasn't sure what to make of this newfound affection. However, slowly, they grew to like each other, become play mates and seek each other out.
They had their own world and, eventually, we were no longer invited to join in. I was so happy when I first heard them giggling and signing together. It was all going to work out. As a parent, you want your children to get along. When they don't, it's very painful. You worry about the future. You wonder if you did anything wrong. Your children are fighting, hurting each other's feelings and you are stuck in the middle.
Once they became friends and were enjoying their time together, I could relax. They each had their own room but they chose to sleep in the same bed for years because they could talk and giggle after bed time. Once they were both in school, they had lots of inside jokes and, even though I wish I could still be in the loop, I am glad that they love each other and look out for one another.
The book is meant to start a dialogue between a parent and child about the difficult transition from only child to older brother or sister. I want children to know their feelings are normal and they are still loved. I'd like to reassure parents that this is a transition, that it will be ok. I am proud of this book and I hope lots of families read it together.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I was minding my own business when a Fed Ex truck pulled up to my home. As I made my way to the front door, he deposited two boxes and left. I scanned the boxes, expecting them to be filled with products for my husband's work. To my surprise, they were addressed to me. I recognized the label-Burnstown Publishing. These were my books. I was shocked!
I wrote some children's books on my iPad years ago. Meredith Luce, a local illustrator, agreed to illustrate my first book, Have You Hugged Your Alien? two years ago. It was well received and it became part of my series of workshops for elementary schools. Meredith illustrated the second book, The Story of Poobum and Pompom last fall. We had hoped to hit the markets at Christmas but two things happened: 1) The book wasn't printed until January and, 2) when it did get printed, it was all mixed up. Meredith and I were bummed.
I set out to find a publisher and went through a variety of quotes. When I spoke to Tim Gordon at Burnstown Publishing, I felt like I was at the right place. There were many parallels between what he was trying to accomplish and my hopes for my books. It has been a long road but I have my book, I can hold it in my hands and read it to my children. Now all I have to do is set a date for my book launch. I am hoping it will be at the public library in Kemptville before the end of the school year.
The Story of Poobum and Pompom is about sibling rivalry. Poobum the dog has this fantastic life then his parents decide to adopt a kitten. The book documents their relationship from rivalry to friendship. My inspiration for this book came from my own experience with my two lovely daughters. My eldest, Molly, had a great life filled with lots of love and attention. When my youngest, Stella, was born, it was a huge adjustment. My eldest felt betrayed. She was very angry and tried to harm her sister on a daily basis.
She went from despising her sister to tolerating her over the first year. Then, as Stella grew and became more interactive, Molly started doing things to make her laugh like her "boom chicka boom" song. When Stella started eating solids, Molly enjoyed feeding her and, she was present when Stella took her first steps. It wasn't until Stella was approximately 2 1/2 years old that Molly decided they would be friends. Molly would hold her hand or hug her. By then, Stella had learned to keep her distance so she wasn't sure what to make of this newfound affection. However, slowly, they grew to like each other, become play mates and seek each other out.
They had their own world and, eventually, we were no longer invited to join in. I was so happy when I first heard them giggling and signing together. It was all going to work out. As a parent, you want your children to get along. When they don't, it's very painful. You worry about the future. You wonder if you did anything wrong. Your children are fighting, hurting each other's feelings and you are stuck in the middle.
Once they became friends and were enjoying their time together, I could relax. They each had their own room but they chose to sleep in the same bed for years because they could talk and giggle after bed time. Once they were both in school, they had lots of inside jokes and, even though I wish I could still be in the loop, I am glad that they love each other and look out for one another.
The book is meant to start a dialogue between a parent and child about the difficult transition from only child to older brother or sister. I want children to know their feelings are normal and they are still loved. I'd like to reassure parents that this is a transition, that it will be ok. I am proud of this book and I hope lots of families read it together.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 12 February 2016
Interview with a 40+ Woman-MT
February 12th, 2016
So far, most of the women I have interviewed are nearing the end of their 40s.I decided to seek out a women who is right at the beginning of this process. MT is forty years old. As I interviewed her I noticed a different feel to our discussion. Initially, she talked about turning 40. The number didn't really phase her. I asked if she felt that anything had changed since she turned 40. She said: "Not really, my life is just as crazy as it has always been". What was interesting to me was the level of awareness that grew as I asked each question. She re-considered her answer later on in the interview. "Actually, I have changed. I take better care of my health, I work out and I eat healthier foods".
MT feels like she is the same person she was before, however, she does feel more confident because she has had more life experience. Asked if she would change anything about her life she said she wishes she could have had her children earlier, she feels that she had them too late in life.
MT is most proud of the woman she has become with all of her life experiences. She is proud of the mother she has become as well. She now understands what it means to be married, to be a parent and have bills to pay. MT doesn't know why women undergo major changes in their forties. She thinks maybe it represents a halfway point and we feel ready for a change, just like men going through their midlife crisis.
Right now, the most important thing for MT is happiness, her own and her family's. She wants her husband and her children to live a happy life. Health is always at the forefront as well. It is more challenging for her to find the time to do things for self-care because her children are still young. However, when she has time, she enjoys meditating, reading Tarot cards, getting out to see a movie or going out for a walk. She enjoys walking in nature especially in the Fall, she hates the cold so she doesn't get out as much in the winter. When she needs comfort, she turns to her husband, her father and a few good friends.
There were questions that MT needed more time to answer. If I get more information, I will add them to this text at a later date. By the end of the interview she confided that she feels like she is in the midst of a transition. She has been in survival mode ever since she had her children. She anticipates many big decisions coming up in the next two to three years. I forwarded the link to this blog to MT. I hope she can gather some comfort from the words of the other 40+ ladies I have interviewed. They have been through this transition and are feeling much happier and leading more balanced lives. That is what I wish for you MT. Best of luck with these very important decisions.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
So far, most of the women I have interviewed are nearing the end of their 40s.I decided to seek out a women who is right at the beginning of this process. MT is forty years old. As I interviewed her I noticed a different feel to our discussion. Initially, she talked about turning 40. The number didn't really phase her. I asked if she felt that anything had changed since she turned 40. She said: "Not really, my life is just as crazy as it has always been". What was interesting to me was the level of awareness that grew as I asked each question. She re-considered her answer later on in the interview. "Actually, I have changed. I take better care of my health, I work out and I eat healthier foods".
MT feels like she is the same person she was before, however, she does feel more confident because she has had more life experience. Asked if she would change anything about her life she said she wishes she could have had her children earlier, she feels that she had them too late in life.
MT is most proud of the woman she has become with all of her life experiences. She is proud of the mother she has become as well. She now understands what it means to be married, to be a parent and have bills to pay. MT doesn't know why women undergo major changes in their forties. She thinks maybe it represents a halfway point and we feel ready for a change, just like men going through their midlife crisis.
Right now, the most important thing for MT is happiness, her own and her family's. She wants her husband and her children to live a happy life. Health is always at the forefront as well. It is more challenging for her to find the time to do things for self-care because her children are still young. However, when she has time, she enjoys meditating, reading Tarot cards, getting out to see a movie or going out for a walk. She enjoys walking in nature especially in the Fall, she hates the cold so she doesn't get out as much in the winter. When she needs comfort, she turns to her husband, her father and a few good friends.
There were questions that MT needed more time to answer. If I get more information, I will add them to this text at a later date. By the end of the interview she confided that she feels like she is in the midst of a transition. She has been in survival mode ever since she had her children. She anticipates many big decisions coming up in the next two to three years. I forwarded the link to this blog to MT. I hope she can gather some comfort from the words of the other 40+ ladies I have interviewed. They have been through this transition and are feeling much happier and leading more balanced lives. That is what I wish for you MT. Best of luck with these very important decisions.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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