June 24th, 2016
I love Ted Talks! I listen to them while I clean the house or prepare meals and, occasionally when I go to bed later than the other members of my family. I learn so much from the various speakers who cover every topic imaginable from upcoming, state of the art technology, the importance of vulnerability, the advantage of online learning for children and neuroscience to species of underwater creatures.
Recently, I heard a fabulous speech by Dave Isay, the founder of Story Corps. He talks about his own experience and how it taught him the power of narrative. He started interviewing people for radio. He took on special projects interviewing people who had been through the same difficult experience. He learned so much about them through this process. He interviewed his own father who has since passed and he now has an even deeper commitment to do this work. He set up some booths in busy locations where a facilitator would help two individuals have a meaningful conversation. Dave shared a few emotional stories with the audience. A woman who has grown to love the young man who shot her son. An elderly man who expresses his love for his wife. A mother interviewed by her high functioning son with Asperger.
These conversations are authentic and deeply moving. David talks about a woman who interviews people in hospice care. She shares what she has learned from this experience in a book about what is really important in life. The people who are interviewed get a copy of their conversation but a second copy is sent to the archives. This means future generations could witness this interview. There are so many applications to this from interviewing people in long term care, schools or hospitals to the homeless and incarcerated.
Story Corps has booths set up in various locations, however, it has also created an app that enables anyone to create an interview and submit it to the archives. You follow the prompts, select from a list of potential questions and then send the story. This tool could be used by the military to document the healing process of soldiers with PTSD. It could be used by teachers to record the changes in their students from grade 1 to grade 8. Projects like my, Interviews with 40+ year olds, or my Mommy Monologues, could use this format.
Storytelling is such an ancient and powerful ritual. We learn so much about life, each other and ourselves through stories. I would love to set up a booth in a local long term care facility and interview every older adult who is living there. You could record an entire generation one facility at a time. My brain is bubbling with possibilities right now but it doesn't have to be big. If you'd like to interview a loved one today, just download the Story Corps app and get started. Everyone has a story. Share yours today.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label interview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interview. Show all posts
Friday, 24 June 2016
Friday, 11 March 2016
Interview with a 40+ Woman
March 11th, 2016
Today, I had an opportunity to sit with a woman I have come to respect. CT is the most positive, open, non-judgmental woman I have ever met and I enjoy her company. We sat in a sunny room, eating scones, drinking lattes and I got to ask my questions.
As I suspected, CT doesn't care about age. She knows people from different age groups and, to her, 40 is just another number. At the age of 43, she hasn't made any major changes in her life. She simply has more clarity about what she wants to do. She feels more committed, less willing to let things "not happen". CT is also less worried about letting people know her views. She now values her experiences. She feels more reflective. She has a growing awareness about how variable time can be. "In your 40s you experience friends and family getting sick".
I asked CT what she has learned about aging from the women around her. "Most of the people I know, aging doesn't bother them. Their metabolism changes, they can't do the same things as before. That may bother them but it's ok. The experience of aging for women has lots of constructs we can't avoid. We gather. My mom still has friends from University. A guy friend of mine meets up with his childhood friend for breakfast once a week. Many enjoy it, being retired. They get to be involved in projects they like". CT talks about friends whose partners are ill or who have their own health issues. "It is not an easier time of life but you have experience to sit on".
CT doesn't think she is any different from her younger self. "It depends on the situation. Personality traits come out more strongly depending on the situation". She is increasingly aware of things like who she is, aspects that are her strengths or other aspects that need some work. Given the chance to start over she doesn't think she would change anything. Asked what she is proud of, CT says she's pretty happy. "I like the people around me, I like the kids around me". Her friends and family are most important to her at this time in her life as well as her health. She turns to friends and family for support when she needs it. When she wants to recharge her batteries, CT goes out for a walk. Walking is integral to her well-being.
I ask CT why she thinks so many women make drastic changes in their 40s. She believes that hormones play a role for sure. "Experiences in your 40s have some meaning. There are changes in your body and your life, good changes but you can't control them. This affects us because we are socialized to control things and we can't. It's worse now, we're told there are pills to change things. Also, you know things now and they can be in conflict". She now understands some of the decisions her parents made when she was growing up. "I now understand that you own your mistakes, you own your choices".
When asked to offer advice to the next generation of teenagers, CT was quiet, contemplating her answer. She varied between no advice "because shitty things can happen" and simply recommending that they "trust in possibilites." She hopes to provide support for the next generation. "They have their own stuff to figure out. This belongs to the 'can't control' category. We all die eventually and when we do, we can leave values behind but we can't control what happens".
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today, I had an opportunity to sit with a woman I have come to respect. CT is the most positive, open, non-judgmental woman I have ever met and I enjoy her company. We sat in a sunny room, eating scones, drinking lattes and I got to ask my questions.
As I suspected, CT doesn't care about age. She knows people from different age groups and, to her, 40 is just another number. At the age of 43, she hasn't made any major changes in her life. She simply has more clarity about what she wants to do. She feels more committed, less willing to let things "not happen". CT is also less worried about letting people know her views. She now values her experiences. She feels more reflective. She has a growing awareness about how variable time can be. "In your 40s you experience friends and family getting sick".
I asked CT what she has learned about aging from the women around her. "Most of the people I know, aging doesn't bother them. Their metabolism changes, they can't do the same things as before. That may bother them but it's ok. The experience of aging for women has lots of constructs we can't avoid. We gather. My mom still has friends from University. A guy friend of mine meets up with his childhood friend for breakfast once a week. Many enjoy it, being retired. They get to be involved in projects they like". CT talks about friends whose partners are ill or who have their own health issues. "It is not an easier time of life but you have experience to sit on".
CT doesn't think she is any different from her younger self. "It depends on the situation. Personality traits come out more strongly depending on the situation". She is increasingly aware of things like who she is, aspects that are her strengths or other aspects that need some work. Given the chance to start over she doesn't think she would change anything. Asked what she is proud of, CT says she's pretty happy. "I like the people around me, I like the kids around me". Her friends and family are most important to her at this time in her life as well as her health. She turns to friends and family for support when she needs it. When she wants to recharge her batteries, CT goes out for a walk. Walking is integral to her well-being.
I ask CT why she thinks so many women make drastic changes in their 40s. She believes that hormones play a role for sure. "Experiences in your 40s have some meaning. There are changes in your body and your life, good changes but you can't control them. This affects us because we are socialized to control things and we can't. It's worse now, we're told there are pills to change things. Also, you know things now and they can be in conflict". She now understands some of the decisions her parents made when she was growing up. "I now understand that you own your mistakes, you own your choices".
When asked to offer advice to the next generation of teenagers, CT was quiet, contemplating her answer. She varied between no advice "because shitty things can happen" and simply recommending that they "trust in possibilites." She hopes to provide support for the next generation. "They have their own stuff to figure out. This belongs to the 'can't control' category. We all die eventually and when we do, we can leave values behind but we can't control what happens".
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Sunday, 10 January 2016
Interview-40+ year old woman, MC
January 10th, 2016
I was able to interview my first 40+ year old woman this week. My goal is to interview as many women between the ages of 40 and 50 in order to understand what happens to women during this decade. I have witnessed women getting divorced, leaving careers, going back to school, having affairs, moving out of the country or, sinking into a deep depression. I am curious about the cause of this shift in so many lives. The easy answer is: "It's all hormonal" but I don't believe this to be true.
I am using initials to document these interviews because I think women may be more candid if they can remain anonymous. MC asked me to forward my questions in advance. I e-mailed them to her the week prior to our interview. When we spoke over the phone, she confided that simply reading these questions had stirred up some strong emotions.
I asked MC how she felt about turning 40. She said it was a very emotional experience. It wasn't so much the physical aging she feared. She has inherited very good genes and is likely to stay healthy and vibrant as she ages. MC is 48 years old and she doesn't feel any apprehension about turning 50. I requested more details about this "emotional experience". For MC, the reaction to turning 40 was more about fears (e.g. being alone) and emotions. She thinks there is a build up of emotions and they suddenly get released. She is 100% convinced that the reaction is not hormonal.
Her 40s have been about adjusting to multiple changes. For years she was cruising on a sailboat but now she is in a pedal boat and she has to pedal hard. MC has a managerial, full-time position in the government. She divorced the year she turned 40. She shares the custody of her three teenagers, two daughters and one son with her ex. She feels that communication has been her greatest challenge yet she hasn't sought out the tools that might help her improve. She struggles to communicate how she is feeling with her partner, her children, her colleagues and her parents.
She admits that when she has communicated in the past, the outcome was not what she expected. She spends so much time mulling it over and rehearsing what she will say, anticipating the reaction of others that, in the end, she doesn't say anything. She now recognizes that communicating can be a liberating experience, allowing you to let go.
The highlight of her life so far was when her whole family was together; her spouse and her three children. She believes her life will peak again when her teenagers are old enough to leave the nest. This will be like a report card, a sign that she has completed her mission. She is looking forward to the freedom she will get from not having to deal with her ex when the children are no longer living with her.
Knowing what she knows now, if she could start over, she would be more attentive to her needs, have more confidence in herself, she might go to school and obtain a diploma in order to further her career, she'd listen to her intuition, follow her dreams and, be a bit more selfish. Her advice to the next generation of women is to have confidence in themselves and never create barriers that will stand in the way of their aspirations. Thinking about her legacy to her children, she hoped to provide and teach unconditional love, hope, strength, autonomy, perseverance, respect and active listening.
Through the challenges in her 40s she has learned to know herself a bit better, to love herself and to be patient. When she needs to replenish her energy, MC calls her friends, spends some time outdoors and reads. She has a lot of friends and they are a great source of support for her when she needs it.
This was an emotional conversation for MC but she said it was helpful because we often don't ask these kinds of questions and it really makes you think.
Thank you to all of you who read my blog. I appreciate your feedback. If any of you are in your 40s and interested in being interviewed, please e-mail me at artnsoul@ripnet.com.
I was able to interview my first 40+ year old woman this week. My goal is to interview as many women between the ages of 40 and 50 in order to understand what happens to women during this decade. I have witnessed women getting divorced, leaving careers, going back to school, having affairs, moving out of the country or, sinking into a deep depression. I am curious about the cause of this shift in so many lives. The easy answer is: "It's all hormonal" but I don't believe this to be true.
I am using initials to document these interviews because I think women may be more candid if they can remain anonymous. MC asked me to forward my questions in advance. I e-mailed them to her the week prior to our interview. When we spoke over the phone, she confided that simply reading these questions had stirred up some strong emotions.
I asked MC how she felt about turning 40. She said it was a very emotional experience. It wasn't so much the physical aging she feared. She has inherited very good genes and is likely to stay healthy and vibrant as she ages. MC is 48 years old and she doesn't feel any apprehension about turning 50. I requested more details about this "emotional experience". For MC, the reaction to turning 40 was more about fears (e.g. being alone) and emotions. She thinks there is a build up of emotions and they suddenly get released. She is 100% convinced that the reaction is not hormonal.
Her 40s have been about adjusting to multiple changes. For years she was cruising on a sailboat but now she is in a pedal boat and she has to pedal hard. MC has a managerial, full-time position in the government. She divorced the year she turned 40. She shares the custody of her three teenagers, two daughters and one son with her ex. She feels that communication has been her greatest challenge yet she hasn't sought out the tools that might help her improve. She struggles to communicate how she is feeling with her partner, her children, her colleagues and her parents.
She admits that when she has communicated in the past, the outcome was not what she expected. She spends so much time mulling it over and rehearsing what she will say, anticipating the reaction of others that, in the end, she doesn't say anything. She now recognizes that communicating can be a liberating experience, allowing you to let go.
The highlight of her life so far was when her whole family was together; her spouse and her three children. She believes her life will peak again when her teenagers are old enough to leave the nest. This will be like a report card, a sign that she has completed her mission. She is looking forward to the freedom she will get from not having to deal with her ex when the children are no longer living with her.
Knowing what she knows now, if she could start over, she would be more attentive to her needs, have more confidence in herself, she might go to school and obtain a diploma in order to further her career, she'd listen to her intuition, follow her dreams and, be a bit more selfish. Her advice to the next generation of women is to have confidence in themselves and never create barriers that will stand in the way of their aspirations. Thinking about her legacy to her children, she hoped to provide and teach unconditional love, hope, strength, autonomy, perseverance, respect and active listening.
Through the challenges in her 40s she has learned to know herself a bit better, to love herself and to be patient. When she needs to replenish her energy, MC calls her friends, spends some time outdoors and reads. She has a lot of friends and they are a great source of support for her when she needs it.
This was an emotional conversation for MC but she said it was helpful because we often don't ask these kinds of questions and it really makes you think.
Thank you to all of you who read my blog. I appreciate your feedback. If any of you are in your 40s and interested in being interviewed, please e-mail me at artnsoul@ripnet.com.
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