Tuesday 31 May 2016

Preview to a bio

May 31st, 2016

My husband turns 60 on March 22nd, 2017. We are preparing a trip to the Florida Keys to celebrate. I thought it would be fun to write his story. I am always interviewing women and their stories fascinate me. My husband has lived many lives in his 59 years. We run into people who knew him when he was a dj, the owner of Scissors where he managed over 30 staff members, a technical representative for Joico, travelling through Asia or styling the hair of stars and royalty.

I recall once when we were at a friend's house, he sat at a piano and started playing. We had been dating a year and I didn't know he could play. His music was beautiful and his reply to my quizzical look was: "I just like to make stuff up". That is when I found out that his father was a musician and Vincent inherited his talent. He never took a lesson, it just comes to him.

In recent years, he started writing about his childhood in an effort to process painful experiences and put them to rest. He hands over the computer and says: "What do you think?". His writing is powerful, it elicits strong emotions and gives you the impression that you are experiencing everything along with him. His writing is very visual, like an oil painting of every scene only overlaid with potent emotions.

My husband is a stylist. He trained with Vidal Sassoon in London. My first glimpse at his magic was when he did my hair which is how we met. He explained that my hair was damaged and he would need to cut a few inches off. This would bring my hair up to my jaw. I insisted that if he cut my hair that short I would look like a mushroom. He assured me that I wouldn't. We had our wager. He was right. I had never received so many compliments. So, I decided to date him :)

I have watched him take years off of women in 90 minutes. They are smiling, their posture has changed and they seem to be floating on air. I love watching him work. His competence turns me on. I also love seeing him with older clients. He has many elderly clients who have been with him for a long time. He was very close to his grandmother and he is very sweet, gentle and respectful of his older clients. My grandmother always flirted with Vincent. Ever since he serenaded her with: Michelle, ma belle. Did I mention he sings really well? She would ask me where he was whenever I visited her while Vincent was at work. She would comment: "He's got those dreamy eyes".

Vincent loves the finer things in life. He has exposed me to travel and delicious food. He is happiest in a warm destination, with a view of the sea or the mountains, grilling steak on the BBQ with a beer or a robust red wine. He enjoys floating around the swimming pool wearing his sunglasses and a straw hat with a beer in his hands. He is great with animals. Our dog follows him everywhere. I watch him pick up our cat and do whatever he wants with him. The cat doesn't complain, he curls into his chest or lap and purrs his appreciation. When we boarded horses, Vincent would check on them, fill their water containers and have little chats, private, whispered affairs that ended in one of the horses licking his forehead.

When we had children, I worried that we would lose our connection but, thanks to our weekly dates, we have preserved our intimacy and bond as a couple. He is very silly and the girls always tell me he is much more fun than I am. I agree. He is particularly fond of toilet humour, I think that's a British thing. Vincent is very passionate. He loves to restore old cars, collect memorabilia, listen to music like David Bowie, The Beatles, Sting, get tattoos, ride his motorbike or convertible, watch documentaries about politics, nature, musicians and innovators, travel, visit historical sites like Chichen Itsza, and watch you tube videos about DIY projects. He is super handy. He likes to build furniture out of barn board and fix things around the house. Last year, he McGivered a heating system for our pool by stapling black hoses to the tin roof of his shed. See what I mean?

His creativity extends to his cooking as well. We always joke that we are a match made in heaven because he loves to cook and I love to eat. Vincent cooks on his days off. We eat salads, stews, steaks, pasta, always tasty and beautifully plated. The rest of the week, I cook. Generally, that means a one pot meal like shepherd's pie, chicken fried rice, lasagna or spaghetti carbonara.

So, that was my intro. I meant to write his story today, the one he shared during our weekly "interviews" over lunch at our favourite Vietnamese restaurant. However, I have run out of time and space just writing my own observations. I will have to jump right in tomorrow and share the story of Vincent Walsh with you.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org




Monday 30 May 2016

Worth

May 30th, 2016

I hope everyone out there had a great weekend! The sun felt so fantastic, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it!

I am reading The Abundance Code, a book that addresses myths we believe about money then challenges us to rewrite our beliefs to reflect the true abundance of the world in which we live. I am loving it so far but when she uses financial terms I am absolutely lost. Hopefully, it will all make sense as I read on. One of the chapters explores the concept of worth, as in, do we feel worthy of money? If not, we sabotage all opportunities to earn more money.

This got me thinking about our sense of worth in general, not just as it relates to money. There are many ways in which we gain our feelings of worthiness. If I think about this theme in a chronological order than I would think our first sense of worthiness comes from our parents. They love us therefore we are worthy. If we are raised in a dysfunctional family where a parent's love is rarely expressed or, worse, the parents are emotionally abusive then there will be some serious damage to our self esteem. Then we start to feel worthy based on our behaviour, whatever is praised makes us feel worthy, whatever is punished leads to feelings of shame or remorse. As a teenager, belonging and inclusion create a sense of worth, popularity with the opposite gender, looks, clothes, the factors of our worthiness can get pretty superficial.

As a young adult, getting into a certain College or University can create a sense of worth. Working at a great job that others approve of either due to status or income or both increases our sense of worth. The following years are filled with steps on the ladder or worthiness, marriage, a mortgage, children, traveling, promotions, wealth.

Then comes the moment when we realize that all of our worth has come from external sources. We hate our job that our parents loved so much! We have gained weight and our health is at risk. We are burned out. The children we have devoted so much energy in raising are off living their own lives. So, there we are in our job, making good money, feeling empty and so very tired. There is often a pivotal moment, either through divorce, illness, empty nest or the death of a loved one. This moment lights a fire in us. Wait a minute, this is not my life. I want more or something different. It starts as discomfort, this life no longer fits. Then we start talking about it with others and realize that they are also dissatisfied with their lives. Next, we take action, sometimes in small steps, for others it comes in risky leaps and bounds.

All external sources of worth are temporary. Feeling worthy based on the approval of others always leads to disappointed because they will not always agree with you and you may need to take action that they don't understand. What made you popular in high school won't work when you are a middle-aged adult. Your looks will change over time. You can lose the house, get laid off from work and get divorced. So what's left?

You are worthy because there is no one else like you. You have a combination of strengths, traits and skills that are all yours. There is a reason why certain actions, people or environments light you up inside, these are guideposts to your purpose. You are worthy no matter what, whether you are rich or poor, busy or between jobs, gorgeous or average. When you acknowledge and celebrate your worthiness, you naturally make decisions about the people and activities that are worthy of your time and attention. That makes life interesting and worth living.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Friday 27 May 2016

Hygiene

May 27th, 2016

This morning I had the same argument with my ten year old that we have been having for months now. She stood in the shower drawing on the glass door with her index finger. I asked her if she had started washing herself yet, she hadn't. Her seven year old sister waited patiently wearing her shower cap. My eldest informed me that she would not be washing herself.

Apparently, I am the only parent who requires that her children shower every day. My eldest assures me that her friends wash once a week. I said that was disgusting. My daughter responded that it was normal and I was unreasonable. Later, I spoke to some friends with children in grade 4. They are having similar battles with their sons and daughters. Grade 4 and 5 teachers are very familiar with the stink of a classroom filled with pre-pubescent children.

It's almost as if they are not aware of their smell yet. Their hormones are kicking in, armpits are sweaty, sneakers are smelly but the pre-teen remains unconcerned. Ironically, once my daughter starts liking boys, I won't be able to get her out of the shower but, for now, it is a battle.

We compared our approaches: "You stink, go wash yourself"! Or "As your mother, it's part of my responsibilities to ensure you wash yourself" or "Don't do it because you want to, do it for your friends who will be spending time with you" or "This is your body, you need to feed it, wash it, exercise it, it's part of self-care". None of us have been successful.

I spoke to my husband about it. His suggestion was: "Let her stink, her friends will tell her she smells and she'll start washing". I can remember my mother asking to speak to me before I went out to play with my friends. I was probably ten years old. She washed my pits and rubbed deodorant on them. I clearly recall how shocked I was. I didn't notice a smell, I thought I was fine. This seemed completely unnecessary. Now I am the Mom and I can't imagine my daughter can't smell her pits or feet.

This is just one more phase of her development to navigate. Speaking to other parents is helpful, it normalizes this experience. Remembering my own pre-teen years is reassuring. I have excellent hygiene now so I know she will be fine in a few years.

Hang in there parents of pre-teens, this too shall pass.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org


Thursday 26 May 2016

Hay House Withdrawal

May 26th, 2016

Today was the last day of podcasts on the Hay House World Summit. What a gift these interviews have been. Every day, while organizing the art materials in my shop, driving to and from various destinations and cleaning the house, I soaked in the wisdom of best selling self-help authors on the online summit, a series of audio podcasts. I believe there were four series totallIng 100 authors.

My dream is to publish with Hay House some day and join the summit. They have a Writer's Workshop where you can present your manuscript and win a publishing package or, better yet, they take you on as one of their authors. I can feel the book stirring within me and I am working towards it without pushing, all in good time.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been guided through various meditations and visualizations, I have learned about my self-worth, my brain, my body, my soul and my relationships. I am so excited by what I have learned. It comes down to this: we all come from love and our essence is love, we have come here for a reason, we each have something to contribute and it's our responsibility to find our purpose by following what gives us joy and exploring how our experiences and our unique skills can be used to serve others.

Each author helps us on this quest to reach our highest selves and achieve our mission. We are taught to love ourselves through mirror work, affirmations and healthy nutrition by the master herself, Louise Hay.

We learn about meditation through various authors who talk about the clarity they gain when they slow down, get centred and connect with their wise mind. Others have us connect with our bodies to help us heal. There is so much hope about healing through nutrition, visualization, exploration of our emotional blockages and rituals led and witnessed by shamans.

There are so many interesting interviews about self-expression and creativity through storytelling, writing, journaling, dancing and chanting. I have recognized the importance of a sisterhood as a mother, writer, soul, entrepreneur and spouse. I am inspired to speak my truth, to share my journey with other women, to seek out a mentor, embrace my sexuality and wildness, to nourish my body, centre my mind and be gentle with myself. I see these successful women and I strive to stay on my path.

I was really drawn to the visualizations. In one, you shrink yourself, visit the inside of your body and notice any anomalies. You inhale healing light and exhale what you no longer need. You physically change the look of your cells, clean them up and breathe love into them. Then you exit and go back to your usual size. Such a powerful meditation.

In another meditation, you remove the energy hooks that are holding you back. You reclaim your energy from the various sources that are draining you whether it's a person or a belief. You then welcome the energy back into your body. Feels awesome.

So much soul searching and I owe it all to this free, online series. Thank you Hay House!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Wednesday 25 May 2016

Signs and Synchronicity

May 25th, 2016

I believe in signs. You know, like when you desperately need someone with a certain expertise and you go to a party you normally wouldn't attend and end up seated next to someone who specializes in that area of expertise. What are the chances?

There seem to be times in my life when I experience more signs and synchronicity. This month has been one of them. I first noticed signs when I was in my second year of study at Ottawa University. My Godfather's son was struck by a drunk driver and remained in a coma at the hospital until his organs could be harvested. Then, with the assurance from physicians that his 17 year old son was brain dead, my Godparents made the toughest decision of their lives, they removed the life support systems from their son and watched his life force fade away.

Following his death, I would see 10:10 everywhere and hear Hotel California or Stairway to Heaven. These were all signs reminding me of my cousin. I heard both songs when I was visiting my Godfather's home. They were playing a tape recording of my cousin playing guitar and singing along to those songs. After his death, I would hear those songs on the radio as we were driving or on television as I was flicking through channels or in the background at restaurants and malls. I was confused about the significance of 10:10 but I knew this started happening after his death so it must be related. I asked my Godparents if there was an important date like October 10th linked to my cousin or if something had happened at 10am on the 10th. Nothing. The very next day, I started seeing 11:11 everywhere and I realized it wasn't the number that was important.

When we returned from Florida, just over a month ago, I was preparing for my workshops at KPS. Those workshops came about because my daughters had friends over at the house, two sisters. Their mother came in for a coffee. She asked me about my work and I mentioned that I would like to do more work in schools but it is difficult to get into classrooms. She happened to be the head of the Parent Council and told me they really wanted to get more art in the school. The school tends to focus on sports but the parents want art as well. She connected me to another mother on the Parent Council and we wrote a proposal and the rest as they say is history.

While I was offering my workshops at the school, a parent from another school heard about it. This parent has a child in each school and wanted me to offer my workshops at the other school as well. This school knows my work because I offered a few after-school workshops in November 2014. They are now applying for this funding as well because of this one parent who heard about me and recognized my name from 2014.

Yesterday, I was thinking about the future of my business. It's nearly the end of the school year and I needed to figure out whether to approach summer camps to keep working with children or, focus on my workshops with adults. I asked the "powers that be" for a sign. I received an e-mail from one of the moms who attended my workshop for parents at KPS. She wanted me to know that she and her son are excited about the plans they made to spend time together in the summer because of the Wish Box they created during my third workshop. I was thrilled! Then, I checked my mailbox because I was waiting on a book I ordered online. There was a letter from the mother of a young lady who was at my workshops at the other school in 2014. She wanted to thank me for the impact I had on her daughter. Apparently, she enjoyed my workshops and learned a great deal. She had drawn a picture for me and wanted me to have it. The mother said: "I'm sorry, this letter is over a year late". I wrote back to the mother and daughter thanking them for the letter and art and, I told the mother that her letter was NOT late, it was right on time. When I held that letter and read it, I felt chills run up and down my spine and the art made my eyes water. It was such a huge affirmation that I needed to proceed with my work.

Last week, I donated a copy of my Poobum and Pompom book to our local library and asked them if I could organize a book launch with them. They run lots of parent-child groups and I thought they would be the best place to launch my second book which is meant to help parents communicate with their little ones when they are adjusting to the arrival of a sibling. I was asked to e-mail their Community Outreach person. I did and there was no reply. One week later, I had not received an e-mail to acknowledge that my inquiry was received or to express interest in hosting my book launch. I returned today to ask if I should expect a response. I was informed that their Community Outreach person is part-time therefore she may get back to me when she is in tomorrow.

As I was leaving the library, I bumped into the owner of a local art gallery. I told her I was frustrated with this lack of response. She showed me why she was there. She was leaving pamphlets to advertise an art tour that happens every year. She suggested I go to her art gallery to sell and promote my book. I need an indoor space to keep art materials from flying away so I told her the front lawn of her gallery would not work for what I was trying to do. She said  I was welcome to go back some other time and use the back room of her art gallery. She then informed me that the Ottawa Art Gallery runs programs for young people. This led me to their website and what I discovered about their programs is very exciting. You never know what is just around the corner. I have bumped into this gallery owner many ties over the past month. We are setting up a coffee date to talk about how we can make use of her art gallery.

Everything happens for a reason. If you want more synchronicity in your life, start documenting all the coincidences that occur on a daily basis. If you own a journal, jot it down at the end of the day. Otherwise, keep track of synchronicity by writing it on a post it note. If you review your post its at the end of the week or month, you will notice a pattern. These "coincidences" are leading you in a direction. By paying attention to them, you will notice them increasing. To me, seeing signs and experiencing synchronicity is like crowd surfing. You let the signs propel you forward, trusting that you will end up where you need to be.

PS. When I logged in to write this post, I saw that 1111 people had read my blog. There is that number again :)

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org




Tuesday 24 May 2016

Friendships

May 24th, 2016

What did you do over the long weekend? We had amazing weather! We seem to have suddenly fallen into summer. We ate outdoors and the trampoline got plenty of use and, we hung out at Baxter's Beach for the first time this season. The Ice Cream Float was out, that is the name of a boat. It belongs to a super sweet man who crosses the river from his home to Baxter's Beach in his boat in order to sell ice cream to hoards of overheated and eagerly awaiting children. The beach is my zone and I could spend the entire day (my whole life) there. My children usually want to go home after a few hours. Sigh!

I was thinking about friendships over the weekend. My youngest daughter had her friend Ruby over to the house. They are both seven years old and were so excited to spend time together. They created masterpieces at our dining room table then had some lunch while watching Teen Titans. They spent a good 30 minutes on the trampoline then I challenged them with a treasure hunt. They had to jump rope, pick flowers from our property, do somersaults across the lawn, race on bouncy balls and swing to another galaxy on our swing set. They played with dolls for a while then they drew with chalk on the back deck. They were having a great time. By the time Ruby's Mom came over to pick her up, Ruby wanted to sleep over. My daughters and her had planned their whole evening while they drew flowers and rainbows all over the deck. When her mother said no, Ruby was very disappointed. My eldest daughter is 10 years old but she had played with my youngest and her friend and they had quickly bonded. I truly enjoyed our day. I love being around young ones because they are in the moment, savouring each activity, participating fully. They love each other so deeply and their friendships are so precious. It's really heartwarming.

That evening, my husband set out to meet a friend of his who was visiting from Norway. They have been friends for a long time. They don't see each other often, due to distance, but when they spend time together it's as if no time has elapsed. They both had children later in life and married in the same year. Becoming fathers has changed them both, deepening their friendship. He came home the next morning seeming happier and even more appreciative of our daughters. I caught a glimpse of him holding our youngest daughter, smiling, content.

My husband has also developed a new relationship recently with the father of one of our eldest daughter's friends. They both love music and beer and they are like two children when they get together, joking, excited and happy. This has been a great friendship for them. They go out every two weeks on their "Bro-date". I can tell they look forward to it and they both get something out of it. I am glad that they have found each other.

I meet a friend of mine every week. We go for walks and we talk about our lives, our challenges, our aspirations and the really cool people we have met. I look forward to our walks because it is great exercise for me and I feel great afterwards. However, I mostly enjoy our time together. Our conversations make me think and force me to view the world in a different way. Last week, another lady I had met through volunteering at my daughter's school asked if she could join us. I look forward to getting to know her. She is one of those people who has an open face, friendly, honest and kind. I am excited for this week's walk. I also stay in touch with friends from previous phases of my life. We catch up on Facebook, via e-mail or, if they are in Ottawa, we connect for coffee once in a while. Again, it feels as though no time has elapsed every time we meet.

Seeing my friends fills me up. I have more energy, I am more patient with my husband and children after a date with a friend and, I connect with different parts of myself through my friendships. Some friends are more intellectual, we will bounce ideas off one another and grow in awareness together. Other friends are silly and naughty and they teach me to relax and enjoy my life. My creative friends set me on fire. I leave our meet ups feeling energized and motivated to express myself in bold new ways.

I can see how my daughters learn about themselves through friendships as well. They learn to communicate, share and empathize. They feel special because this person wants to be their friend. They get a sense of belonging and they identify with what they have in common whether that's a love of gymnastics, a favourite colour or having long blond hair.

Friendships are so important for us as human beings. I wanted to celebrate the role of friendships in today's post. If you don't have a few close friends, participate in activities you enjoy in order to meet like-minded people. Don't be afraid to approach people and ask them if they'd like to grab a coffee or go for a walk. There are lots of fascinating people out there just waiting to be discovered, like you.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Friday 20 May 2016

Book of the Week-Brain on Fire

May 20th 2016

I could not put this book down. A young journalist has created an amazing life for herself. She is living in a flat in New York, working for the New York Post and, dating a great guy when, suddenly, her life is turned upside down. Every relationship is put to the test, she can no longer do her work and, worse, she has no idea what is happening to her or how long it will last.

Susannah Cahalan walks us through her journey from illness, psychosis, hospitalization and diagnosis to healing. As she describes her behaviour, you can't help but wonder how terrifying this meltdown must have been for her. I was thinking about all the individuals who are admitted to psychiatric hospitals with the wrong diagnosis. Susannah was lucky to have parents and a boyfriend who loved her and became her advocates. When doctors refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong, when specialists labelled her with diagnosis that didn't fit all her symptoms, her parents persisted, they asked questions and requested second opinions.

At first, she thought she had bedbugs and decided to have her apartment exterminated. Then she forgot an important meeting at work where she normally shares ideas for the coming week's newspaper articles. Thirdly, she started throwing away files containing important stories she had worked on even though she is normally a hoarder. She also got a bad migraine which was a new experience for her. She continued behaving out of character when she searched her boyfriend's computer and apartment for any traces of betrayal. She became nauseous, felt tingling then numbness in her left hand which later spread all the way down the left side of her body to her toes.

Her nausea grew and she suspected she had the flu. Her first diagnosis came back as possibly having mono. Her senses amplified (the smell of people around her, the vibrations from the music, the oily taste of food). She lost her appetite and was experiencing a disconnect from the people around her, not participating in discussions and feeling indifferent to the concert she had just experienced. She was also having emotional outbursts leading to panic attacks. Her perception of space became distorted, she would reach for the handle and be way off, the walls looked tall and narrow, she couldn't follow the flow of conversation. She was experiencing insomnia for days and, finally, she had her first seizure.

This was the beginning of her life in hospital where she was studied, medicated, strapped down and misdiagnosed over and over again until Dr. Souhel Najjar recognized her symptoms as Anti-NMDAR Encephalitis, an illness where one's immune system starts attacking the brain. The treatment was "to reduce the body's inflammation with steroids. Then flush the body of the antibodies with plasmapheresis, and further reduce and neutralize the antibodies with IVIG"(p.162).

This is an excellent book because it is written by Susannah who experienced all these symptoms and is able to relate what she went through at every stage of the illness's progression as well as during every step of her long recovery. Every psychiatrist, physician, nurse or parent of an individual diagnosed with a mental illness should read this because it illustrates the problem with quick diagnosis. Many illnesses resemble others and it takes time, observation and tests to find the right match. Thank you Susannah for sharing your journey. I hope everyone who reads this will go out and buy this book. If you love learning about our complex brains, you will not be disappointed.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Thursday 19 May 2016

We are not computers

May 19th, 2016

This discussion has come up with so many people lately, I decided I should blog about it. Technology was never meant to speed things up. The intention was to create more time for the important people and activities in our lives by delegating menial, busy work to a machine. However, we did not know how to make the most of this extra time. We didn't spend more time eating meals as a family or reading great books. Instead, we worked longer hours, doubled our workload and multi-tasked. We also moved off the land and created office cubicles.

We can observe the impact of technology on our nutrition. We are less likely to grow our food and roast a meal throughout the day. We are often away from home at the office therefore we are unable to supervise our garden or our roasts. Therefore, we grab fast food or prepared foods on our way home and zap them in our microwaves.

Technology has sped up our lives. We drive through rush hour traffic to get home from our demanding jobs then we shovel mouthfuls of food into our tense bodies before beginning the frenetic activities of the evening: swimming, gymnastics, hockey, soccer, karate, piano etc. By the time we return home, we squeeze in 30 minutes of homework and fall into our beds.

As a mother, I recall being sleep deprived and drinking coffee from the wee hours of the morning onward in order to function throughout the day. That was a very distinct period of my life. However, I see so many people living off coffee, pop or energy drinks. They have meetings, reports, conferences, deadlines etc. All of it is important and, of course, urgent.

Working in long-term care, I witnessed first-hand how nurses who trained because they were compassionate and had great bed-side manners, burnt out over and over again. Why? They spend so much time filling out paper work in order to maintain funding, avoid being labelled as redundant and prevent liability issues that they hardly have time to connect with their residents. Furthermore, when residents come to them for comfort, they must turn them away because they are already overwhelmed with work. This is a surefire way to destroy the spirit of a compassionate human being who would like nothing more than to connect with residents, hear their stories and offer support.

Our relationships are also impacted by technology. We juggle impossible schedules and attempt to find some down time to connect and catch up. However, by the end of our filled and fast-paced days at work, we are often too wrung out to do much of anything. Instead, we sit in front of the television set, have a glass of wine, maybe hold hands and go to bed. Our children are exposed to technology early on as they suck on our cell phones, watch television programs at home and videos in the van while on the road. Their toys speak to them in both official languages and emit loud noises. They are overstimulated from a young age. Each toy makes different sounds and lights up, little is left to the imagination. I don't recall anyone saying: "I'm bored", when I was growing up yet it is so common  these days.

What should have been progress has become a trap. We work hard, compete to climb the ladder to the jobs with the biggest pay. Then, we buy stuff as a symbol of our success. In order to keep our stuff and get more, we work harder to make more money. We look forward to our retirement when we will be able to do all those things we have wanted to do but have been too pooped to do in our lives. We take a week off to spend quality time together. Then we realize that we are strangers, that we are all so consumed with our Facebook, e-mails and x-boxes that our holiday is not what we hoped it would be or, we do spend time together and truly enjoy it, only to return to the our busy schedules as soon as the trip ends.

The computers were supposed to serve us. Somewhere along the way, we became confused. We started to treat ourselves like computers. We expected everything to happen faster. We wanted immediate gratification. We crammed our calendars, uploaded piles of information, imagined that we could multitask and do it all without error. The problem is we are not computers. We are human beings. We need more than upgrades and we are meant to last more than three years. We crave connection, belonging, meaning, love, growth and time for reflection and rest. We require physical contact and neither Facebook, Skype, E-mail or Text can fulfill that need.

The pendulum has swung too far. The proof is in the litres of caffeine required to keep up, the amount of alcohol consumed to numb ourselves, the excessive purchases needed to fill our void. The answer is a return to simplicity-growing herbs or a garden, spending time eating meals as a family, communing with nature, bonding with our children, having unscheduled play time, valuing people over money and living our lives now, not in the future. Creating or reviving rituals to celebrate pivotal moments on our life cycles can also infuse our lives with meaning and belonging.

It's time to focus on what matters: family, friends, good food, rest, nature, reflection, growth and love.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Wednesday 18 May 2016

The Story of Poobum and Pompom

May 18th, 2016

I was minding my own business when a Fed Ex truck pulled up to my home. As I made my way to the front door, he deposited two boxes and left. I scanned the boxes, expecting them to be filled with products for my husband's work. To my surprise, they were addressed to me. I recognized the label-Burnstown Publishing. These were my books. I was shocked!

I wrote some children's books on my iPad years ago. Meredith Luce, a local illustrator, agreed to illustrate my first book, Have You Hugged Your Alien? two years ago. It was well received and it became part of my series of workshops for elementary schools. Meredith illustrated the second book, The Story of Poobum and Pompom last fall. We had hoped to hit the markets at Christmas but two things happened: 1) The book wasn't printed until January and, 2) when it did get printed, it was all mixed up. Meredith and I were bummed.

I set out to find a publisher and went through a variety of quotes. When I spoke to Tim Gordon at Burnstown Publishing, I felt like I was at the right place. There were many parallels between what he was trying to accomplish and my hopes for my books. It has been a long road but I have my book, I can hold it in my hands and read it to my children. Now all I have to do is set a date for my book launch. I am hoping it will be at the public library in Kemptville before the end of the school year.

The Story of Poobum and Pompom is about sibling rivalry. Poobum the dog has this fantastic life then his parents decide to adopt a kitten. The book documents their relationship from rivalry to friendship. My inspiration for this book came from my own experience with my two lovely daughters. My eldest, Molly, had a great life filled with lots of love and attention. When my youngest, Stella, was born, it was a huge adjustment. My eldest felt betrayed. She was very angry and tried to harm her sister on a daily basis.

She went from despising her sister to tolerating her over the first year. Then, as Stella grew and became more interactive, Molly started doing things to make her laugh like her "boom chicka boom" song. When Stella started eating solids, Molly enjoyed feeding her and, she was present when Stella took her first steps. It wasn't until Stella was approximately 2 1/2 years old that Molly decided they would be friends. Molly would hold her hand or hug her. By then, Stella had learned to keep her distance so she wasn't sure what to make of this newfound affection. However, slowly, they grew to like each other, become play mates and seek each other out.

They had their own world and, eventually, we were no longer invited to join in. I was so happy when I first heard them giggling and signing together. It was all going to work out. As a parent, you want your children to get along. When they don't, it's very painful. You worry about the future. You wonder if you did anything wrong. Your children are fighting, hurting each other's feelings and you are stuck in the middle.

Once they became friends and were enjoying their time together, I could relax. They each had their own room but they chose to sleep in the same bed for years because they could talk and giggle after bed time. Once they were both in school, they had lots of inside jokes and, even though I wish I could still be in the loop, I am glad that they love each other and look out for one another.

The book is meant to start a dialogue between a parent and child about the difficult transition from only child to older brother or sister. I want children to know their feelings are normal and they are still loved. I'd like to reassure parents that this is a transition, that it will be ok. I am proud of this book and I hope lots of families read it together.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Tuesday 17 May 2016

Quiet Time

May 17th, 2016

Yesterday was a great day! At approximately 2:45pm, a Fed Ex man came to my door and dropped off two boxes. The boxes were filled with my books, Have You Hugged Your Alien? and The Story of Poobum and Pompom. My first book was out last year and I used it for my workshops in elementary schools. I had sold out of the book. The second one had never been published and I was very excited to hold it in my hands.

As if things couldn't get better, my husband told me he was taking the girls to gymnastics so I would have 3 hours to myself! This is a rare thing. He took the girls to gymnastics last week but my eldest threw up as soon as they arrived so he didn't get to see them enjoy the class. This week, they stayed for the entire 2 hour class.

My mind raced with how to best use this precious time. I made myself a delicious salad and listened to more Hay House interviews. I journaled and created art about my vision for our future as a family while sipping a hot coffee. I took an epsom bath with lavender drops. I buffed away the dry skin from my heels and clipped my toe nails. I changed the payment information on my amazon.ca account so I could order two books I have been wanting. I created a yummy probiotic yogurt, granola and berries dessert and savoured each bite.

As you read this you probably think, BORING! The thing is, as hum drum as my evening may sound to you, I loved it. That is what is important. We all need some down time to recharge our batteries. What would fill you up is different from what works for me. It doesn't matter what others think.

By the time my husband returned with our two sleepy daughters, I was feeling calm and replenished. I had prepared the girls' bedrooms (humidifiers filled, stuffies ready for cuddles and diffusers spreading a warm scent throughout the room). I took some time to hear about their classes and give them a quick snack. I wasn't rushed or tired because I was able to look after my needs earlier that evening. Having some quiet time isn't just great for our mental health, it also makes us better moms and partners.

When was the last time you had quiet time? Start now by picking a day and time frame like Saturday morning from 10am-noon. Then brainstorm what would fill your batteries. You may want to walk through an art gallery (bring a sketch book, why not?). You may prefer to sit at a coffee shop and read a good book. No? What about a brisk walk with the dog on a nearby trail? Going to see a chick flick ?

Once you have found your bliss, let others know you will be unavailable at the set time and turn off your phone. If you hear a text, don't peek, actually it's better if you leave your phone in the car. Just enjoy your activity. Feel how special it is to have this time to spend by yourself. You will reach a point when you feel full. That is when you know you are replenished. You may want to share this experience with others, tell them what you did and how it felt. This is your signal that you are ready to head back to your loved ones, replenished and grateful for your respite. Try it, you'll like it.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Monday 16 May 2016

Broth Power!

May 16th, 2016

Last Friday, I met my mother in downtown Ottawa and got her signed up with Vrtucar. This means she can leave her home and visit us whenever she wants for as long as she wants. She can now be more independent. I felt so relieved.

Usually, I try to pack as much into Friday mornings as I can, knowing that it's my last day of productivity for the week before the children are home and I switch gears for the weekend. I am aware that I need to leave at around 1pm to pick up my mother so she can come and spend some time with her grandchildren.

My mother was raised in the country and felt very isolated during her teen years. She enjoys visiting our home but I can tell she is getting antsy by Saturday afternoon. She doesn't like to stay over more than one night which means I have to get her back to her home by late Saturday afternoon.

When the children were younger, I could get away with the 90 minute round trip because they always fell asleep. Now that they are older, they hate the drive into town. They always want to stop somewhere, like a toy store, to make the trip worthwhile. This is not an option because I have no intention to buy them toys every Saturday afternoon. So, there is usually some tension in our home as I coax the girls into the car for the round trip into town.

By the time I rushed home to get the children off the bus last Friday, I was feeling exhausted. I knew my body was fighting something off. I haven't been sleeping well due to a nasty cough I picked up when I was sick in April.

Luckily, I just happened to hear about the benefits of drinking broth from Heather Dane. She is one of the Hay House authors participating in the Hay House Summit. Apparently, drinking broth is "in" right now. I had never heard of this. My husband looked it up and there are restaurants devoted solely to broth in New York City. The idea is, you create a batch of broth and reheat it every day. You can bring some to work in a thermos to drink throughout the day (instead of coffee).

In the notes that were attached to her presentation, she outlines how to create three broths- a bone broth, a veggie broth and a meat broth. Heather explains that drinking bone broth can increase your collagen levels (think tighter skin) and seal your gut. Broths also help strengthen your joints, build muscle and lose weight.

Does this sound too complicated? If creating broths sounds like a chore, reminiscent of your grandma standing by a stove all day, you can relax, Heather makes it easy. You get a paper bag, open it and stick it in your freezer. As you cook throughout the week, you place bones, meat pieces and vegetable trimmings into this bag. Once the bag is full, you can empty the contents in a stock pot (or slow cooker), cover it with water, bring it to a boil and then let it simmer for a few hours.

I made my first batch of stock this weekend to mend my compromised immune system. I used a head of garlic, two leeks, carrots, cauliflower, kale, peppercorns, sea salt, turmeric, cilantro, thyme and bones from local, grassfed beef. I covered it with water, brought it to a boil then covered it and let it simmer for three hours. I went out for errands and returned to a home that smelled like grandma's house. I filled six mason jars and let them cool. Then I put them in the fridge.

This morning, my husband and I both sipped some broth. We skimmed off the layer of fat from the surface and re-heated it just warm enough to drink. I like that it feels like a warm cup of coffee but is actually really healing. I have a hard time drinking herbal teas because they are thin and watery. Texture is important to me. Broth has a creamy texture to it, similar to coffee, without the dairy. Drinking broth doesn't feel like a sacrifice.

I have been working on taking care of myself. That means making others responsible for themselves. When my children ask me for some juice and they left their container upstairs, they need to get their container for me so I can refill it. Now that my mother has a Vrtucar account, she can be responsible for her schedule and her trips to and from my home. When students contact me to come and work with me, I no longer rush in to create an exciting learning experience for them. I tell them about my next workshop and ask them to suggest an activity they could help lead. Taking the pressure off of myself allows me to focus my energy on my priorities. Taking care of my health is a priority. Making the time to create healthy, delicious, healing broths is just one more step in the right direction. I hope you will take some time to create broths as well. To your health!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Thursday 12 May 2016

The Hay House Summit

May 12th, 2016

Every year, Hay House, a major publishing company of self-help books, organizes a free, online summit. You can watch movies or listen to interviews on a variety of topics. Each interview lasts approximately 50 minutes and is packed with information.

I was inspired by Wayne Dyer's movie, The Shift. It was the first thing I watched. Dr Dyer teaches us how to move from a place of entitlement to an attitude of service. We each have something to offer and our life should be a joyful exploration of how we can use our skills to help others.

I listened to a fascinating interview with Alberto Villoldo who explains how our body is able to heal itself and even re-grow organs. We are programmed to grow and develop in the early years in order to reproduce then these functions shut down. However, Dr. Villoldo explains how we can turn these abilities on even during the early years in order to maintain our health and vitality. Amazing!

Next, I heard about Antony William's ability to see people's illnesses and recommend treatments. He is a medical medium. I was also impressed with Dr. David Hamilton's description of his research into the placebo effect. Apparently, he was busy creating medicine to help with people experience issues with their heart. He noticed that believing in a doctor or medication was enough to produce statistically significant results. He talked about the importance of gratitude, kindness and compassion to promote health and/or to help the heart heal post-surgery. There was a really powerful, healing visualization exercise at the end of his interview. I absolutely believe that what we visualize impacts our bodies.

In the second batch of interviews, I learned how to unlock my access to abundance by recognizing myths that I absorbed during my childhood in an interview with Julie Ann Cairns. Her words really struck a chord with me. In all our relationships, we experience frustration and observe patterns that get repeated. The patterns stem from childhood lessons and our frustration to the results we get from those patterns of behaviour is an indication that we are stuck and need to release some old beliefs. I am going to buy her book, Breaking the Abundance Code. She claims that if we work through the seven myths outlined in her book, our negative beliefs about money can be challenged, resulting in a better relationship with money.

Joseph Clough spoke about how to match the frequency of what we want in order to attract it into our lives. He encourages us to stay focused on our goals with our thoughts as well as our actions. We need to make the time to pursue these goals by cutting out activities that do not move us forward (like watching television). He warns against being rigid. We may be aiming too low so we need to remain open to even better possibilities that may present themselves to us. He suggests that we look for a lesson in every obstacle and never give up on our dreams.

Katie Dalebout wrote a book about journalling which is a passion of mine. She offers 55 directives in her book and described some of them during the interview. An interesting one was, If you knew this was going to be the best day of your life, how would you dress, what would you do and who would you see? I was familiar with the benefits of journalling therefore I didn't take as many notes during this interview. However, Katie shared how she came to write her book. She attended a Hay House Writer's Workshop. I have been contemplating this very same thing. They sometimes have them in New York. The next one is in Maui so too far for me at this time but, as soon as there is a workshop closer to Ottawa, I will sign up. Hearing about her experiences at the Writer's Workshop and the process she went through to become a published author was very motivating for me.

Lastly, Karen Henson Jones shared her transition from being a busy woman, working at a fast-paced job to having a near-death experience and needing to reconfigure her life. She travelled and shares what each trip taught her about life. She speaks about compassion and past lives. She believes our experiences and relationships are meant to help us grow, that we pre-selected them before coming into this life. We have a chart or life map and everything is part of the map. She takes us through three powerful healing visualizations at the end of her interview. I was so grateful for her talk.

I love the Hay House Summits. There are so many interesting presenters. You choose the topics of interest to you. You can take notes and, if you know someone else who is listening to these interviews, you can discuss them afterwards. I am so grateful to Hay House for providing this enriching experience for free. The fact that it's online means I can listen to the interviews while I am driving, cleaning the house, cooking supper or, after the children have gone to bed. I hope you all go to the hay house website (www.hayhouseworldsummit.com) and take advantage of this tremendous opportunity.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Wednesday 11 May 2016

Book of the Week-The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha

May 11th, 2016

Prior to our trip, I ran out of time to go into town and purchase a book. The Happiness Equation caught my eye on a table at Walmart. It's a thick and heavy book, impractical for a trip but it appealed to me and I purchased it anyways.

I like to read when the Vincent and the girls have gone to bed. I curl up on the couch with a cosy blanket, enjoying the quiet. This book had me hooked from the start. It's filled with quirky little diagrams and observations.

Neil talks about this community that lives long, healthy, happy lives. The key is "Ikigai". They all have a sense of purpose, a reason to get up every day. I started to think about my Ikigai. My daughters are mine-loving them, nurturing them and teaching them the important stuff in life. What is your Ikigai?

The author then divides the week into three buckets of 56 hours: one for sleep, one for work and a third to pursue our passion. I was impressed with this, 56 hours per week to pursue my passion. That sounds like a lot! My passions are learning, reading, teaching, creating, writing, public speaking and offering art therapy workshops to children and adults.

In the book, Neil describes how being at work provides social interaction, structure, intellectual stimulation and a story (you are part of the company's story re: who they are and what they are trying to accomplish). He explains how our delusions about retirement being the golden years where we get to do nothing rob us of the four Ss (social, structure, stimulation and story). We are meant to keep working and if we love what we do then it doesn't feel like work.

He believes happiness is only 10% affected by our circumstances, the other 90% comes from our perception. He explains that we pursue success thinking it will make us happy but we need to focus on our happiness first. Neil differentiates between three types of success: making money, earning the respect of others and, feeling proud of ourselves. As long as we depend on others to feel successful, our achievements will never be enough. That's why it's so important to find our bliss and dive in, then we can feel fulfilled.

We are encouraged to achieve a more balanced life by dividing our time evenly between doing and resting. In order to make time to think, Neil recommends we limit the number of choices we make every day to avoid decision fatigue and use that energy constructively. He also believes we need tighter deadlines so we have no time to procrastinate. One of the ways he did this was having 5 minute speeches at his meetings. That way people would get to the point. Everyone felt that their time was well spent. He also proposes having some down time where you can not be reached or distracted so you can just feed your brain.

My favourite part of the book was the three tests on page 245. The point of these tests is to find your authentic self. The tests consist of three questions:

1) What would you do on a Saturday morning if you had no obligations (you are completely free to do what you'd like)?
2) How do you feel when you put yourself in a new situation?
3) Who are the five people closest to you and what do you love most about them?

Neil says the five regrets of the dying are all related to authenticity. It's important to be true to yourself in order to live a happy life. What keeps us from being authentic? Fear. That is why we are encouraged to take action every day. Is there something we can do, even something small to move towards happiness ad fulfillment? Do it. The more we do, the more confident we become in our ability to get things done.

This book really got me thinking and moving in the right direction. Here is another question for you to consider...If you did not need any money, what would you do with your time? Where would you be? Who would you spend time with? What activities would you continue to pursue? Can you find a way to bring this into your life now?

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Tuesday 10 May 2016

Back to Reality and Business is Booming!

May 10th, 2016

I'm back! I can't believe how long it has been since my last post. My intention was to resume my writing yesterday, a Monday. My husband offered to take our daughters to gymnastics and I felt it was the best opportunity to sit and write. Then, one hour later, he and the girls were on their way home. Our eldest was throwing up. There would be no gymnastics and, no writing.

I took a break from writing when I left for a two week trip with my family to Florida. We always book a home through Vacation Rentals By Owners (VRBO). We had a great time together. For my husband, the best thing is grilling and going out on the motorbike. For our daughters it's not being in school and spending most of the day in the pool. For me, it's the warmth, wearing a thin layer of clothing, walking barefoot and just hanging out with my family.

I fully expected to start writing the Monday after we returned however...
The first thing that happened was putting out the garbage that first night back at the house and freezing. I could feel all my muscles trembling. I got sick. I felt worn out, my nose was constantly dripping and my entire head was congested. I accomplished nothing that first week back.

I was scheduled to participate in the North Grenville Sustainability Fair the next weekend. My body was on the mend and I prepared boxes of art materials to inspire children to create a village with butcher paper, cardboard boxes, paints, markers, duct tape, popsicle sticks and cotton balls. A young boy and his little sister discovered my three tables set up in the far corner and they jumped in. They invited others to join the fun and, next thing I knew, my corner was super busy and the village was taking shape. It was an exciting afternoon and I was very proud of the outcome.

The fair was on the Sunday. I was relaxing, eating my breakfast on Monday morning when I realized the Catholic District School Board was having its Community Partner Day in one hour. I had totally forgotten about it. The date had been set such a long time ago. I jumped in the shower and drove to Smiths Falls as fast as I could. It was so worth it! I made great contacts, handed out many cards and learned about opportunities to get involved with the school board.

For the following three weeks, I had one workshop with parents and their children, each week, at Kemptville Public School. The Parent Council applied for a Parents Reaching Out grant on my behalf. Therefore, I was able to offer three 90 minute sessions to families for free on the topic of communication. We created family sculptures on the first week to define each family's identity. Then, for the second session, we explored our aliens and learned how to communicate emotions in a constructive way. The final and third week had families create wish boxes to plan quality activities together. I was thrilled with the turn out. I received excellent feedback from the families and the parent council. It was such a great opportunity for me to showcase what I do. To top it all off, another school has contacted me. They heard about my workshops and will be applying for funding to have me offer those same workshops at their school in the Fall. Life is good!

I was also in contact with Tim Gordon at Burnstown Publishing. They will be printing 50 copies of my Have You Hugged Your Alien? book as well as 50 copies of my new book, The Story of Poobum and Pompom. I am so happy to have my second book on its way. I believe the book is going to the printers tomorrow. We have been e-mailing back and forth to sort through details and ensure the book is a success. I am now organizing my book launch for early June. All very exciting stuff!

Throughout this busy time, each of my family members has been sick. I was sick the first week back, then my youngest, then my husband and now, as I sit here and write, my eldest daughter is ill as well.

I love writing and I will now pick up where I left off. However, I have decided to not write on weekends. I was struggling to get my writing done on weekends before because, from Friday evening to Sunday night, I am surrounded by family. I get stressed because I am torn between two intentions, writing every day and spending quality time with my loved ones. I believe that keeping my writing to weekdays, will help me balance out my life.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org