November 11th, 2016
First of all, I want to acknowledge that today is Remembrance Day. To all the men and women who serve our country, sacrificing your lives to keep us safe and free, we all owe you an enormous debt of gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!
Since I wrote about our veterans and remembrance day in my post a few days ago, I will write about something completely different today. A few weeks ago, my husband's assistant took a two week vacation to visit a friend living in Vietnam. Her friend is teaching there and Brooke got to visit her friend but also travel through Vietnam. This was an eye-opener for her; the food, the culture and the experience of being a minority. I had my own eye-opener during her absence because my husband asked me to help him out for the week that he was on his own. I became Assistant for a Week.
I was very nervous because I know he and Brooke have been working together for years now and she knows what to do to support him. She is also trained as a stylist so she can apply colour, rinse hair, cut and blow dry which takes the load off of Vincent. I wasn't sure if my presence would be helpful or frustrating to him. What if I pissed him off and we spent the week fighting?
My main responsibilities were confirming appointments, making coffee, sweeping the floor, rinsing the colour bowls, taking people's money and booking their next appointments. To my surprise, I loved it! I learned a great deal about myself and my relationship with my husband. I was able to apply what I have learned to my regular life as an art therapist, author, public speaker when my life returned to normal.
Here is what I learned:
I love people! I normally spend a great deal of time writing, organizing materials for a workshop, e-mailing clients to schedule appointments or negotiate contracts. I really enjoyed being with people, talking about what is happening in their lives and seeing the parallels among the many women who walked through those doors, lots of transitions, stresses, important decisions and feeling alone with it all.
It feels so good to complete things. At the shop, I had simple tasks to complete. It was easy, no need for problem-solving or interventions. I made the coffee, swept the floor, confirmed the appointments, check! In my regular life, I have so many tasks that are endless. I clean the house but I work around the clutter left behind by my children and husband. I sweep the floor in the front entrance but I have to lift the four pairs of shoes/boots and my husband's motorcycle helmet, goggles and ear plugs. I prepare lunches for the girls and then see how much of it was wasted when they get home. Why didn't you eat this? Ran out of time. I empty the lunch kits, knowing I will refill them with the same stuff the next day. Preparing the bath for the girls, making the beds, picking up the clutter that is littering the floors and countertops. It is all so lonely and demoralizing. Trying to come up with something new and tasty for supper that everyone will love. It's never happened.
My husband and I always joke around, it's part of what I enjoy about our relationship. We get silly and love to make each other laugh. Bringing this dynamic to the shop was so fun. Clients enjoyed our banter and joined in, taking sides or adding their own twist. I have always enjoyed watching my husband work because he is so good at his job. I felt that my work at the shop was witnessed. As weird as this sounds, I was doing small, menial tasks but others, including my husband, could see what I was doing and it felt validating. No matter who hard you work when you are at home, no one sees it and it doesn't last. There is no recognition or validation.
I brought my computer to the shop and could still get my writing done between clients. This brought more balance to my day between typing and focusing on my writing, alone and, enjoying a break, a satisfying conversation with clients.
How to apply this to my regular life?
Recognizing that I need more balance between time to myself and time with others, I started meeting more of the women I interview in person rather than speaking over the phone, I bring my computer to the coffee shop to type up my notes so I see people and stop for breaks to chat with them. I challenge my children to pick up their own rooms. They now have three bins each to store dolls, art materials and small toys. This means I can now vacuum their floor without having to pick up the stuff from their room. I am doing more group work which is more dynamic and interactive in nature.
I am lucky. I have a great life. I am able to make decisions every day regarding how I will organize my work. I get to do what I love and now, thanks to this insight, I have added more socializing to my every day life.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label satisfaction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satisfaction. Show all posts
Friday, 11 November 2016
Tuesday, 8 November 2016
The Booming Sex Toy Industry
November 8th, 2016
So there I was, standing with my basket full of groceries at the checkout, wondering what to write about today. The US election? Nah! The amazing interviews I am having with a variety of truly heroic moms? Keep it for the book. I got to my car and was driving home, the sun shining on this beautiful day. Then it hit me. I am going to write about sex toys. Gone are the days of women lying still, missionary style, waiting for their husbands to finish. I was certain that there was an article out there proving what I know to be true, women are more openly sexual than ever and are looking for ways to add spice to their life.
Bingo! I did a google search and found an article in Forbes magazine about the explosion of this industry (http://www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2016/07/15/adult-expo-founders-talk-15b-sex-toy-industry-after-20-years-in-the-fray/#162991e638a1). Apparently, sex toys used to be sold to men in addition to their videos in adult novelty shops. Thanks to Sex and the City and Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more bold in expressing their desire for additional stimulation and novelty.
Some of the innovations in this field include pretty packaging that appeals to women, as well as pink and purple coloured toys, waterproof products to help with cleaning and usage at bath time, better textures so it feels like real skin and, access to a huge inventory via the internet. Using social media has helped this industry reach people they couldn't market to through traditional advertising. Technology helps women charge their equipment with a USB cable and empowers women with a stronger motor and more choices as far as the sensations they want; vibrate, pulse, tap etc.
In this article, they look toward the future and suggest that we might be able to purchase products with a memory which means it will do what you want in whatever sequence you'd like and remember these preferences for future use. There was also talk of remote control technology so you can stimulate your partner from a distance.Vin and I had a good laugh about this one, speculating the many ways we could use this to torture each other (in a positive way).
Not only is this a growing industry, "it stands as a $15 billion market segment, with projections that it will surpass $50 billion by 2020” but it also a generous industry donating millions to charities such as CalExotic's partnership "with the nonprofit organization Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) to create Inspire. Inspire is a collection of female-centric products whose sales benefit LBBC."
I have heard of sex toy parties and when I googled this I found that there are many companies offering this service. I was never invited to any of these parties but I imagined candid conversations, bottles of wine and giggling. I am glad that I live at a time where women can be empowered to express their healthy sexuality with a partner or on their own. It's about time!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
So there I was, standing with my basket full of groceries at the checkout, wondering what to write about today. The US election? Nah! The amazing interviews I am having with a variety of truly heroic moms? Keep it for the book. I got to my car and was driving home, the sun shining on this beautiful day. Then it hit me. I am going to write about sex toys. Gone are the days of women lying still, missionary style, waiting for their husbands to finish. I was certain that there was an article out there proving what I know to be true, women are more openly sexual than ever and are looking for ways to add spice to their life.
Bingo! I did a google search and found an article in Forbes magazine about the explosion of this industry (http://www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2016/07/15/adult-expo-founders-talk-15b-sex-toy-industry-after-20-years-in-the-fray/#162991e638a1). Apparently, sex toys used to be sold to men in addition to their videos in adult novelty shops. Thanks to Sex and the City and Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more bold in expressing their desire for additional stimulation and novelty.
Some of the innovations in this field include pretty packaging that appeals to women, as well as pink and purple coloured toys, waterproof products to help with cleaning and usage at bath time, better textures so it feels like real skin and, access to a huge inventory via the internet. Using social media has helped this industry reach people they couldn't market to through traditional advertising. Technology helps women charge their equipment with a USB cable and empowers women with a stronger motor and more choices as far as the sensations they want; vibrate, pulse, tap etc.
In this article, they look toward the future and suggest that we might be able to purchase products with a memory which means it will do what you want in whatever sequence you'd like and remember these preferences for future use. There was also talk of remote control technology so you can stimulate your partner from a distance.Vin and I had a good laugh about this one, speculating the many ways we could use this to torture each other (in a positive way).
Not only is this a growing industry, "it stands as a $15 billion market segment, with projections that it will surpass $50 billion by 2020” but it also a generous industry donating millions to charities such as CalExotic's partnership "with the nonprofit organization Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) to create Inspire. Inspire is a collection of female-centric products whose sales benefit LBBC."
I have heard of sex toy parties and when I googled this I found that there are many companies offering this service. I was never invited to any of these parties but I imagined candid conversations, bottles of wine and giggling. I am glad that I live at a time where women can be empowered to express their healthy sexuality with a partner or on their own. It's about time!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 1 July 2016
Canada Day in Kemptville
July 1st, 2016
Happy Canada Day everyone!
Today, I had a lovely time with my youngest daughter, Stella, at Riverside Park in Kemptville. There was a schedule of events on the municipal website. This made it easy for us to plan our day. We headed over to the kids' zone. There was a station set up to create bead necklaces and bracelets. There was also a mural where children could paint their names. We batted balloons with pool noodles and played Plinko. There was a wading pool filled with bubble soap and a variety of wands. Stella and her friend enjoyed creating trails of bubbles as they swirled around. They were also able to dig in the corn pit. It's a sand box filled with corn kernels and sand toys.
We loved watching the dogs running through the obstacle course at 1pm. They even had a few goats climbing the ramps and jumping over the gates. Most dogs needed prompting and coaxing. They had cue words like "weave" for the dogs to walk in between bars in a pattern. Then came the chocolate coloured lab. He was so excited to be there. He ran and jumped and weaved, no cues or prompting needed. We laughed, recognizing our own dog. Surely, Sweetie Pie would be this crazy, just happy to be playing. Since they get rewarded with food, you can be sure the she would complete the obstacle course asap.
We bought some food and snow cones at lunch time and sat with friends. That is what I love about old towns, you know so many people just because you all happen to be going to the same places-same school, same grocers, same bank, same gas station, same coffee shop etc. I worried when we moved out here that there would be nothing to do but, for kids, there are often programs to join and most are way cheaper than what's available in Ottawa.
There were free swims throughout the day. My husband and eldest daughter joined us at 3pm for a swim before the storm hit. There were stuffed ponies you could rent for $4. The children would ride them as the horse moved up and down, really neat. Two tents were devoted to face painting. One had traditional face painting, the other had glittery tattoos. The line ups were a bit long for those so we skipped it, especially since I knew we were going swimming.
I watched the local firefighters show children around the fire truck. Children could also try to control the fire hose with the help of a firefighter. As we watched the the hose spraying everywhere, my daughter told me she needed to pee. There was a port-a-potty nearby. I couldn't see any other option so I took her there and, to my amazement, it was clean and smelled fine. I was very relieved. On our way out, we watched teenagers jumping over bars with their bikes. My daughter was impressed. I was worried, "please don't try this at home". We grabbed some cotton candy and called it a day. Stella wants to go back for fireworks but they aren't until 10pm, way too late for her.
I was born and raised in Ottawa and for the longest time, my Canada Day consisted of trying to walk through crowds of people to watch buskers or lining up for hours in order to get food, watching people who had had too much to drink fight, make out, yell obnoxious comments or throw up. I rarely went out anymore.
I am satisfied with our Canada Day. There was so much to do. Stella got to see some friends. I enjoyed the community spirit and festive atmosphere. Thank you Tammy Hurlbert, coordinator of recreation programs in North Grenville! We had a great time and we were only ten minutes from home.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Happy Canada Day everyone!
Today, I had a lovely time with my youngest daughter, Stella, at Riverside Park in Kemptville. There was a schedule of events on the municipal website. This made it easy for us to plan our day. We headed over to the kids' zone. There was a station set up to create bead necklaces and bracelets. There was also a mural where children could paint their names. We batted balloons with pool noodles and played Plinko. There was a wading pool filled with bubble soap and a variety of wands. Stella and her friend enjoyed creating trails of bubbles as they swirled around. They were also able to dig in the corn pit. It's a sand box filled with corn kernels and sand toys.
We loved watching the dogs running through the obstacle course at 1pm. They even had a few goats climbing the ramps and jumping over the gates. Most dogs needed prompting and coaxing. They had cue words like "weave" for the dogs to walk in between bars in a pattern. Then came the chocolate coloured lab. He was so excited to be there. He ran and jumped and weaved, no cues or prompting needed. We laughed, recognizing our own dog. Surely, Sweetie Pie would be this crazy, just happy to be playing. Since they get rewarded with food, you can be sure the she would complete the obstacle course asap.
We bought some food and snow cones at lunch time and sat with friends. That is what I love about old towns, you know so many people just because you all happen to be going to the same places-same school, same grocers, same bank, same gas station, same coffee shop etc. I worried when we moved out here that there would be nothing to do but, for kids, there are often programs to join and most are way cheaper than what's available in Ottawa.
There were free swims throughout the day. My husband and eldest daughter joined us at 3pm for a swim before the storm hit. There were stuffed ponies you could rent for $4. The children would ride them as the horse moved up and down, really neat. Two tents were devoted to face painting. One had traditional face painting, the other had glittery tattoos. The line ups were a bit long for those so we skipped it, especially since I knew we were going swimming.
I watched the local firefighters show children around the fire truck. Children could also try to control the fire hose with the help of a firefighter. As we watched the the hose spraying everywhere, my daughter told me she needed to pee. There was a port-a-potty nearby. I couldn't see any other option so I took her there and, to my amazement, it was clean and smelled fine. I was very relieved. On our way out, we watched teenagers jumping over bars with their bikes. My daughter was impressed. I was worried, "please don't try this at home". We grabbed some cotton candy and called it a day. Stella wants to go back for fireworks but they aren't until 10pm, way too late for her.
I was born and raised in Ottawa and for the longest time, my Canada Day consisted of trying to walk through crowds of people to watch buskers or lining up for hours in order to get food, watching people who had had too much to drink fight, make out, yell obnoxious comments or throw up. I rarely went out anymore.
I am satisfied with our Canada Day. There was so much to do. Stella got to see some friends. I enjoyed the community spirit and festive atmosphere. Thank you Tammy Hurlbert, coordinator of recreation programs in North Grenville! We had a great time and we were only ten minutes from home.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 11 May 2016
Book of the Week-The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha
May 11th, 2016
Prior to our trip, I ran out of time to go into town and purchase a book. The Happiness Equation caught my eye on a table at Walmart. It's a thick and heavy book, impractical for a trip but it appealed to me and I purchased it anyways.
I like to read when the Vincent and the girls have gone to bed. I curl up on the couch with a cosy blanket, enjoying the quiet. This book had me hooked from the start. It's filled with quirky little diagrams and observations.
Neil talks about this community that lives long, healthy, happy lives. The key is "Ikigai". They all have a sense of purpose, a reason to get up every day. I started to think about my Ikigai. My daughters are mine-loving them, nurturing them and teaching them the important stuff in life. What is your Ikigai?
The author then divides the week into three buckets of 56 hours: one for sleep, one for work and a third to pursue our passion. I was impressed with this, 56 hours per week to pursue my passion. That sounds like a lot! My passions are learning, reading, teaching, creating, writing, public speaking and offering art therapy workshops to children and adults.
In the book, Neil describes how being at work provides social interaction, structure, intellectual stimulation and a story (you are part of the company's story re: who they are and what they are trying to accomplish). He explains how our delusions about retirement being the golden years where we get to do nothing rob us of the four Ss (social, structure, stimulation and story). We are meant to keep working and if we love what we do then it doesn't feel like work.
He believes happiness is only 10% affected by our circumstances, the other 90% comes from our perception. He explains that we pursue success thinking it will make us happy but we need to focus on our happiness first. Neil differentiates between three types of success: making money, earning the respect of others and, feeling proud of ourselves. As long as we depend on others to feel successful, our achievements will never be enough. That's why it's so important to find our bliss and dive in, then we can feel fulfilled.
We are encouraged to achieve a more balanced life by dividing our time evenly between doing and resting. In order to make time to think, Neil recommends we limit the number of choices we make every day to avoid decision fatigue and use that energy constructively. He also believes we need tighter deadlines so we have no time to procrastinate. One of the ways he did this was having 5 minute speeches at his meetings. That way people would get to the point. Everyone felt that their time was well spent. He also proposes having some down time where you can not be reached or distracted so you can just feed your brain.
My favourite part of the book was the three tests on page 245. The point of these tests is to find your authentic self. The tests consist of three questions:
1) What would you do on a Saturday morning if you had no obligations (you are completely free to do what you'd like)?
2) How do you feel when you put yourself in a new situation?
3) Who are the five people closest to you and what do you love most about them?
Neil says the five regrets of the dying are all related to authenticity. It's important to be true to yourself in order to live a happy life. What keeps us from being authentic? Fear. That is why we are encouraged to take action every day. Is there something we can do, even something small to move towards happiness ad fulfillment? Do it. The more we do, the more confident we become in our ability to get things done.
This book really got me thinking and moving in the right direction. Here is another question for you to consider...If you did not need any money, what would you do with your time? Where would you be? Who would you spend time with? What activities would you continue to pursue? Can you find a way to bring this into your life now?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Prior to our trip, I ran out of time to go into town and purchase a book. The Happiness Equation caught my eye on a table at Walmart. It's a thick and heavy book, impractical for a trip but it appealed to me and I purchased it anyways.
I like to read when the Vincent and the girls have gone to bed. I curl up on the couch with a cosy blanket, enjoying the quiet. This book had me hooked from the start. It's filled with quirky little diagrams and observations.
Neil talks about this community that lives long, healthy, happy lives. The key is "Ikigai". They all have a sense of purpose, a reason to get up every day. I started to think about my Ikigai. My daughters are mine-loving them, nurturing them and teaching them the important stuff in life. What is your Ikigai?
The author then divides the week into three buckets of 56 hours: one for sleep, one for work and a third to pursue our passion. I was impressed with this, 56 hours per week to pursue my passion. That sounds like a lot! My passions are learning, reading, teaching, creating, writing, public speaking and offering art therapy workshops to children and adults.
In the book, Neil describes how being at work provides social interaction, structure, intellectual stimulation and a story (you are part of the company's story re: who they are and what they are trying to accomplish). He explains how our delusions about retirement being the golden years where we get to do nothing rob us of the four Ss (social, structure, stimulation and story). We are meant to keep working and if we love what we do then it doesn't feel like work.
He believes happiness is only 10% affected by our circumstances, the other 90% comes from our perception. He explains that we pursue success thinking it will make us happy but we need to focus on our happiness first. Neil differentiates between three types of success: making money, earning the respect of others and, feeling proud of ourselves. As long as we depend on others to feel successful, our achievements will never be enough. That's why it's so important to find our bliss and dive in, then we can feel fulfilled.
We are encouraged to achieve a more balanced life by dividing our time evenly between doing and resting. In order to make time to think, Neil recommends we limit the number of choices we make every day to avoid decision fatigue and use that energy constructively. He also believes we need tighter deadlines so we have no time to procrastinate. One of the ways he did this was having 5 minute speeches at his meetings. That way people would get to the point. Everyone felt that their time was well spent. He also proposes having some down time where you can not be reached or distracted so you can just feed your brain.
My favourite part of the book was the three tests on page 245. The point of these tests is to find your authentic self. The tests consist of three questions:
1) What would you do on a Saturday morning if you had no obligations (you are completely free to do what you'd like)?
2) How do you feel when you put yourself in a new situation?
3) Who are the five people closest to you and what do you love most about them?
Neil says the five regrets of the dying are all related to authenticity. It's important to be true to yourself in order to live a happy life. What keeps us from being authentic? Fear. That is why we are encouraged to take action every day. Is there something we can do, even something small to move towards happiness ad fulfillment? Do it. The more we do, the more confident we become in our ability to get things done.
This book really got me thinking and moving in the right direction. Here is another question for you to consider...If you did not need any money, what would you do with your time? Where would you be? Who would you spend time with? What activities would you continue to pursue? Can you find a way to bring this into your life now?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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