December 29th, 2016
The new year is only a few days away. Are you getting excited? Have you started exercising or dieting? Have you written down your new year's resolutions? For many, 2016 was a difficult year. They are looking forward to a fresh start. How about you?
Before we rush forward, anticipating all the great things that will happen, let's review 2016. Ask yourself the following questions:
What was the highlight of 2016 for me?
What decisions did I make that improved my life?
What actions or inaction do I regret?
Who were the people who stood by me or added to the quality of my life over the past year? How can I thank them or show my appreciation?
Assess your life and see what you'd like to change then identify the pieces of your puzzle that you wish to keep "as is".
Let's start with you. How healthy are you right now? You know what to do, move more, eat less, drink water etc. Are you overweight or a healthy weight? Are you underweight. If your weight is an issue, how can you get back to a healthy body in 2017? Is the weight from stress or food or lack of exercise? See what you can do to move more in a way you will enjoy; dancing around the house, getting a gym membership, signing up for Zumba or having a walk with a friend on a regular basis. How can you balance your nutrition? Can you prepare granola or smoothies to ensure you have a quick, nutritious start to your day? Research recipes that contain your favourite ingredients and cook them in a healthy way.
How are your relationships? Do you have a few good friends you can count on? If not, where could you go to meet like-minded individuals? Do you spend too much time on your own, hiding in your house or behind your desk? If you know some great people but you don't see them very often, make an effort to include them in your life. Having a good support system is important. If you have a partner, take an honest look at your relationship. Do you make time for each other? Do you listen to each other and connect emotionally and physically? If not, see if you can swap babysitting services with another couple and get out for a date. Share your highlights of 2016 and your dreams for 2017. Do they match? How can you be supportive of each other?
Are you where you want to be in your life? There is usually one area of life that lags behind. You may be super successful but single or happily married but stuck in your career. What area of your life needs some work? Make that a priority. Write a positive goal statement. Think of three steps you can take to move towards your goal. Imagine what it will feel like to reach this goal. Identify friends and family who will be supportive. You will need to share your goal with people you trust. Start moving in that direction and watch what happens. It should excite you otherwise, pick a different goal, one that is more meaningful to you.
You are here for a reason, we all are. Do you know what your purpose is? If not, ask your close friends and relatives for feedback. Their responses may surprise you. There is so much that comes naturally to you, that you take for granted. Others will know this about you. Their feedback can guide you toward activities; personal or professional that lead to fulfillment.
Regardless of where you are now, where you want to be by the end of 2017 and how far you are from your end goal, I hope the year 2017 is filled with opportunities for joy, love, peace and purpose. Happy New Year everyone!!!!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 December 2016
Friday, 9 September 2016
My Speech for Teens
September 9th, 2016
For years, this was a busy time of the year for me, not just because my own children were starting school but because I was a College professor and I was also launching a semester with a brand new group of students. I loved teaching the psychology and leadership classes. I endeavoured to create opportunities for these young adults to formulate their opinions and defend them when others opposed them. There was a mix of students from rural communities, foreign students, some from rich backgrounds, others from poor neighbourhoods. What a fabulous opportunity to open their eyes to diversity.
I now offer stress management workshops in high schools and youth centres. We talk about the pressures of social media to NOT do something stupid because these days, your mistakes are well documented and still on the internet years later. When someone texts you, you feel that you must respond immediately. There is no room for contemplation or delayed reaction. You can't be too busy to bother with your text, Facebook or Messenger. Your iPhone is on you at all times so it is assumed that you know the instant that someone has pinged you and if you don't reply, you must be ignoring that person. Many conflicts stem from unrealistic expectations and miscommunications. I hear so much about the multiple pressures affecting today's teens. They have access to too much information, they have too many choices, they have no time as the responsibilities of school, family, friends and work are compounded. There is no down time. They are always on and accessible even if they don't want to be.
One of the common mistakes according to grade 11 students is the pressure to pick a career. They are expected to orchestrate electives and field placements in grade 12 to reflect their future vocation. Many of them have no clue what they want to do after high school. They are not sure who they are, what they like and, what is available. We all know about careers like becoming a doctor, lawyer, veterinarian, teacher, astronaut, police officer etc but this is not an exclusive list. There are so many options that you don't hear about until you are out of school, living your life. I think a huge responsibility we have as parents is to be open and receptive to our children's talents and interests so we can empower them to gain experience in activities they enjoy. This provides a sense of identity, mastery and belonging to our children. It also exposes them to a potential area of employment for the future. Once you find a few activities you truly enjoy, this leads you to other related activities. You decide what you did or didn't like about a certain activity and sometimes you discover something similar that you like even more. This incremental approach is a much smoother and less stressful process than simply demanding that students choose among the limited options they are aware of at that moment.
When I worked as a College professor, I desperately wanted to change our curriculum so that students spent a minimum amount of time in class taking notes. My vision was to do a thorough intake interview with students to uncover their goals, aspirations, strengths, interests etc. Then contact partners of our program to organize a field placement for the entire semester. Each placement site would be chosen specifically to suit the career goals of our students. We would have course notes online every week. The students would be tested on site to ensure they had mastered these skills. Having to put new skills into practise would demonstrate their ability to function in a real work environment. There are plenty of students who can describe the procedural steps required to complete a task but when they are at their placement site, they are not able to demonstrate this skill. Feedback from placement supervisors would help students improve and gain awareness regarding their particular strengths and areas of improvement. Right now, we force everyone to take the same courses and that results in low retention. The good workers are hired by placement sites, affecting their attendance and overall success in the program. Learning online and through carefully selected placements is the way of the future.
If you are a student, feeling the pressure, confused about where to go, what to do and how to get there, here is my advice to you:
This is your life. Forget the opinions and expectations of others. If you try to do what someone else wants, chances are you won't succeed and they will be disappointed in you. Figure out who you are with these questions:
Do you like being outdoors or indoors?
Do you enjoy having a routine and repeating tasks every day?
Are you a social person who likes to be around people or do you prefer animals, paperwork, art, computers?
Are you good at working with your hands?
Do you thrive in a high stress environment?
Are you adventurous?
Do you like to travel? If so, what kinds of destinations are of interest to you?
Do you have a special talent, something that comes easily to you?
Are you a loner or do you find meaning in working with a team?
What is your ideal dress code, (at home in your pjs, in your swim suit on a beach, in snow pants on a ski slope, jeans and a t-shirt or business suit)?
What kind of people do you enjoy spending time with on a daily basis (snooty, party animals, humanitarians), intellectuals, down-to-earth people?
Do you want to make a difference or just enjoy yourself?
Are you compassionate and intuitive?
Are you creative?
Do you prefer leading or following?
Are you organized and methodical?
Do you know someone who already has your ideal job? Can you contact this person to find out how they got the job and what steps you need to take to get there?
What is more important to you, money or meaning?
Is there a cause that is important to you (environment, addiction, mental health, child development, at-risk youth. advocacy for older adults)?
The more you get to know yourself, the easier it will be for you to find opportunities that match your skill-set. Get involved in your community, take classes, volunteer, join groups, read the local paper. These help you meet people who may lead to opportunities, insights or referrals in the future. By volunteering, you learn skills, you gain experience on the workforce, confidence in yourself and you develop a work ethic. This gives you an advantage over other people your age.
It's ok to not know what you want to do. As long as you are out there gaining experience you will start to discover what you like. If you are a good worker, there will be opportunities coming your way. Take advantage of them because they propel you forwards and result in an impressive resume. At some point down the line, you will find your niche. You will feel satisfied and become quite competent. This may be your life long career or you may eventually change directions and end up somewhere else. It doesn't matter. If you wait to know exactly what you want, you may never get started and you could be pursuing a path that turns out to be a disappointment. Follow your passion, work hard and don't be afraid to take risks. There will always be people to tell you what you should or can't do. They are expressing their opinions. Look at their life, are they fulfilled and happy? If not, it's best to just go with your gut and keep moving. Good luck to you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
For years, this was a busy time of the year for me, not just because my own children were starting school but because I was a College professor and I was also launching a semester with a brand new group of students. I loved teaching the psychology and leadership classes. I endeavoured to create opportunities for these young adults to formulate their opinions and defend them when others opposed them. There was a mix of students from rural communities, foreign students, some from rich backgrounds, others from poor neighbourhoods. What a fabulous opportunity to open their eyes to diversity.
I now offer stress management workshops in high schools and youth centres. We talk about the pressures of social media to NOT do something stupid because these days, your mistakes are well documented and still on the internet years later. When someone texts you, you feel that you must respond immediately. There is no room for contemplation or delayed reaction. You can't be too busy to bother with your text, Facebook or Messenger. Your iPhone is on you at all times so it is assumed that you know the instant that someone has pinged you and if you don't reply, you must be ignoring that person. Many conflicts stem from unrealistic expectations and miscommunications. I hear so much about the multiple pressures affecting today's teens. They have access to too much information, they have too many choices, they have no time as the responsibilities of school, family, friends and work are compounded. There is no down time. They are always on and accessible even if they don't want to be.
One of the common mistakes according to grade 11 students is the pressure to pick a career. They are expected to orchestrate electives and field placements in grade 12 to reflect their future vocation. Many of them have no clue what they want to do after high school. They are not sure who they are, what they like and, what is available. We all know about careers like becoming a doctor, lawyer, veterinarian, teacher, astronaut, police officer etc but this is not an exclusive list. There are so many options that you don't hear about until you are out of school, living your life. I think a huge responsibility we have as parents is to be open and receptive to our children's talents and interests so we can empower them to gain experience in activities they enjoy. This provides a sense of identity, mastery and belonging to our children. It also exposes them to a potential area of employment for the future. Once you find a few activities you truly enjoy, this leads you to other related activities. You decide what you did or didn't like about a certain activity and sometimes you discover something similar that you like even more. This incremental approach is a much smoother and less stressful process than simply demanding that students choose among the limited options they are aware of at that moment.
When I worked as a College professor, I desperately wanted to change our curriculum so that students spent a minimum amount of time in class taking notes. My vision was to do a thorough intake interview with students to uncover their goals, aspirations, strengths, interests etc. Then contact partners of our program to organize a field placement for the entire semester. Each placement site would be chosen specifically to suit the career goals of our students. We would have course notes online every week. The students would be tested on site to ensure they had mastered these skills. Having to put new skills into practise would demonstrate their ability to function in a real work environment. There are plenty of students who can describe the procedural steps required to complete a task but when they are at their placement site, they are not able to demonstrate this skill. Feedback from placement supervisors would help students improve and gain awareness regarding their particular strengths and areas of improvement. Right now, we force everyone to take the same courses and that results in low retention. The good workers are hired by placement sites, affecting their attendance and overall success in the program. Learning online and through carefully selected placements is the way of the future.
If you are a student, feeling the pressure, confused about where to go, what to do and how to get there, here is my advice to you:
This is your life. Forget the opinions and expectations of others. If you try to do what someone else wants, chances are you won't succeed and they will be disappointed in you. Figure out who you are with these questions:
Do you like being outdoors or indoors?
Do you enjoy having a routine and repeating tasks every day?
Are you a social person who likes to be around people or do you prefer animals, paperwork, art, computers?
Are you good at working with your hands?
Do you thrive in a high stress environment?
Are you adventurous?
Do you like to travel? If so, what kinds of destinations are of interest to you?
Do you have a special talent, something that comes easily to you?
Are you a loner or do you find meaning in working with a team?
What is your ideal dress code, (at home in your pjs, in your swim suit on a beach, in snow pants on a ski slope, jeans and a t-shirt or business suit)?
What kind of people do you enjoy spending time with on a daily basis (snooty, party animals, humanitarians), intellectuals, down-to-earth people?
Do you want to make a difference or just enjoy yourself?
Are you compassionate and intuitive?
Are you creative?
Do you prefer leading or following?
Are you organized and methodical?
Do you know someone who already has your ideal job? Can you contact this person to find out how they got the job and what steps you need to take to get there?
What is more important to you, money or meaning?
Is there a cause that is important to you (environment, addiction, mental health, child development, at-risk youth. advocacy for older adults)?
The more you get to know yourself, the easier it will be for you to find opportunities that match your skill-set. Get involved in your community, take classes, volunteer, join groups, read the local paper. These help you meet people who may lead to opportunities, insights or referrals in the future. By volunteering, you learn skills, you gain experience on the workforce, confidence in yourself and you develop a work ethic. This gives you an advantage over other people your age.
It's ok to not know what you want to do. As long as you are out there gaining experience you will start to discover what you like. If you are a good worker, there will be opportunities coming your way. Take advantage of them because they propel you forwards and result in an impressive resume. At some point down the line, you will find your niche. You will feel satisfied and become quite competent. This may be your life long career or you may eventually change directions and end up somewhere else. It doesn't matter. If you wait to know exactly what you want, you may never get started and you could be pursuing a path that turns out to be a disappointment. Follow your passion, work hard and don't be afraid to take risks. There will always be people to tell you what you should or can't do. They are expressing their opinions. Look at their life, are they fulfilled and happy? If not, it's best to just go with your gut and keep moving. Good luck to you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Failure
June 29th, 2016
From a very young age, we learn to compare ourselves to others. Are we taller, a faster runner, more popular, smarter than our peers? At school, we are rewarded for understanding quickly and repeating what we have learned. As we grow up, our parents, the media and community bombard us with messages regarding what it means to be successful. We might go to school longer to become the professionals our parents want us to be. We might work long hours to buy the big house and the ultra expensive sports car. We may use credit cards to pay for holidays we can't afford. We do this to look and feel successful.
In my work, I see people who are struggling with a sense of failure. After a divorce, many women feel like they have failed. Some will say that they should have left years earlier but they feared what others would say and think.
Mothers with teenagers come and see me because they feel that they have failed as a mother. Their previously loving and affectionate daughters no longer speak to them. Everything the moms say or do to bridge the gap that is ever widening only creates conflict. Their child is acting up and they fear that it's all their fault.
When clients come into my studio after they have been laid off, they are feeling shocked and disoriented. They climbed that social ladder and reached an acceptable status. When they suddenly find themselves further down the ladder, they feel like they have failed. It is a blow to their self-esteem.
We learn to avoid failure at all costs but failing is essential to our growth. We are here to experience life. If we fear participating in life because we don't ever want to fail, we end up not reaching our full potential. A comfortable life is not challenging therefore we don't learn anything new about others, about life and about ourselves.
When we fail, we get to receive love and support from our friends and family. These experiences show us who our true friends are and strengthen our relationships. Failing shuts doors so we might explore new avenues we never would have considered otherwise. When we fail in business, it can redirect us to a second career that is more compatible with our personality.
You don't know what you are capable of until you have experienced hardship. When you reach rock bottom, you have a choice-give up or get back up. What you decide teaches you something about your character. Failing also makes you more compassionate. When others are struggling, you can relate, you've been there. You know what others did that helped you pull through and you recall the things people said or did that just made it worst. This prepares you to support others to the best of your abilities.
If you have recently failed at something, ask yourself these questions:
1-On a scale of 1-10, how important will this seem to me in ten years from now? Will I still care?
2-What does this failure mean to me? What does it represent?
3-What story am I creating about this failure and where did this story originate?
4-Is this part of a pattern? Have I been here before? When did this pattern start? What needs healing?
5-How can I love myself today? What simple act of self-care can I perform to support myself?
6-What is the message in this failure? What is it meant to teach me?
7-Is there anything in my control that I can do to move forward today?
8-Who are the people I can reach out to, who love and support me?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
From a very young age, we learn to compare ourselves to others. Are we taller, a faster runner, more popular, smarter than our peers? At school, we are rewarded for understanding quickly and repeating what we have learned. As we grow up, our parents, the media and community bombard us with messages regarding what it means to be successful. We might go to school longer to become the professionals our parents want us to be. We might work long hours to buy the big house and the ultra expensive sports car. We may use credit cards to pay for holidays we can't afford. We do this to look and feel successful.
In my work, I see people who are struggling with a sense of failure. After a divorce, many women feel like they have failed. Some will say that they should have left years earlier but they feared what others would say and think.
Mothers with teenagers come and see me because they feel that they have failed as a mother. Their previously loving and affectionate daughters no longer speak to them. Everything the moms say or do to bridge the gap that is ever widening only creates conflict. Their child is acting up and they fear that it's all their fault.
When clients come into my studio after they have been laid off, they are feeling shocked and disoriented. They climbed that social ladder and reached an acceptable status. When they suddenly find themselves further down the ladder, they feel like they have failed. It is a blow to their self-esteem.
We learn to avoid failure at all costs but failing is essential to our growth. We are here to experience life. If we fear participating in life because we don't ever want to fail, we end up not reaching our full potential. A comfortable life is not challenging therefore we don't learn anything new about others, about life and about ourselves.
When we fail, we get to receive love and support from our friends and family. These experiences show us who our true friends are and strengthen our relationships. Failing shuts doors so we might explore new avenues we never would have considered otherwise. When we fail in business, it can redirect us to a second career that is more compatible with our personality.
You don't know what you are capable of until you have experienced hardship. When you reach rock bottom, you have a choice-give up or get back up. What you decide teaches you something about your character. Failing also makes you more compassionate. When others are struggling, you can relate, you've been there. You know what others did that helped you pull through and you recall the things people said or did that just made it worst. This prepares you to support others to the best of your abilities.
If you have recently failed at something, ask yourself these questions:
1-On a scale of 1-10, how important will this seem to me in ten years from now? Will I still care?
2-What does this failure mean to me? What does it represent?
3-What story am I creating about this failure and where did this story originate?
4-Is this part of a pattern? Have I been here before? When did this pattern start? What needs healing?
5-How can I love myself today? What simple act of self-care can I perform to support myself?
6-What is the message in this failure? What is it meant to teach me?
7-Is there anything in my control that I can do to move forward today?
8-Who are the people I can reach out to, who love and support me?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 25 May 2016
Signs and Synchronicity
May 25th, 2016
I believe in signs. You know, like when you desperately need someone with a certain expertise and you go to a party you normally wouldn't attend and end up seated next to someone who specializes in that area of expertise. What are the chances?
There seem to be times in my life when I experience more signs and synchronicity. This month has been one of them. I first noticed signs when I was in my second year of study at Ottawa University. My Godfather's son was struck by a drunk driver and remained in a coma at the hospital until his organs could be harvested. Then, with the assurance from physicians that his 17 year old son was brain dead, my Godparents made the toughest decision of their lives, they removed the life support systems from their son and watched his life force fade away.
Following his death, I would see 10:10 everywhere and hear Hotel California or Stairway to Heaven. These were all signs reminding me of my cousin. I heard both songs when I was visiting my Godfather's home. They were playing a tape recording of my cousin playing guitar and singing along to those songs. After his death, I would hear those songs on the radio as we were driving or on television as I was flicking through channels or in the background at restaurants and malls. I was confused about the significance of 10:10 but I knew this started happening after his death so it must be related. I asked my Godparents if there was an important date like October 10th linked to my cousin or if something had happened at 10am on the 10th. Nothing. The very next day, I started seeing 11:11 everywhere and I realized it wasn't the number that was important.
When we returned from Florida, just over a month ago, I was preparing for my workshops at KPS. Those workshops came about because my daughters had friends over at the house, two sisters. Their mother came in for a coffee. She asked me about my work and I mentioned that I would like to do more work in schools but it is difficult to get into classrooms. She happened to be the head of the Parent Council and told me they really wanted to get more art in the school. The school tends to focus on sports but the parents want art as well. She connected me to another mother on the Parent Council and we wrote a proposal and the rest as they say is history.
While I was offering my workshops at the school, a parent from another school heard about it. This parent has a child in each school and wanted me to offer my workshops at the other school as well. This school knows my work because I offered a few after-school workshops in November 2014. They are now applying for this funding as well because of this one parent who heard about me and recognized my name from 2014.
Yesterday, I was thinking about the future of my business. It's nearly the end of the school year and I needed to figure out whether to approach summer camps to keep working with children or, focus on my workshops with adults. I asked the "powers that be" for a sign. I received an e-mail from one of the moms who attended my workshop for parents at KPS. She wanted me to know that she and her son are excited about the plans they made to spend time together in the summer because of the Wish Box they created during my third workshop. I was thrilled! Then, I checked my mailbox because I was waiting on a book I ordered online. There was a letter from the mother of a young lady who was at my workshops at the other school in 2014. She wanted to thank me for the impact I had on her daughter. Apparently, she enjoyed my workshops and learned a great deal. She had drawn a picture for me and wanted me to have it. The mother said: "I'm sorry, this letter is over a year late". I wrote back to the mother and daughter thanking them for the letter and art and, I told the mother that her letter was NOT late, it was right on time. When I held that letter and read it, I felt chills run up and down my spine and the art made my eyes water. It was such a huge affirmation that I needed to proceed with my work.
Last week, I donated a copy of my Poobum and Pompom book to our local library and asked them if I could organize a book launch with them. They run lots of parent-child groups and I thought they would be the best place to launch my second book which is meant to help parents communicate with their little ones when they are adjusting to the arrival of a sibling. I was asked to e-mail their Community Outreach person. I did and there was no reply. One week later, I had not received an e-mail to acknowledge that my inquiry was received or to express interest in hosting my book launch. I returned today to ask if I should expect a response. I was informed that their Community Outreach person is part-time therefore she may get back to me when she is in tomorrow.
As I was leaving the library, I bumped into the owner of a local art gallery. I told her I was frustrated with this lack of response. She showed me why she was there. She was leaving pamphlets to advertise an art tour that happens every year. She suggested I go to her art gallery to sell and promote my book. I need an indoor space to keep art materials from flying away so I told her the front lawn of her gallery would not work for what I was trying to do. She said I was welcome to go back some other time and use the back room of her art gallery. She then informed me that the Ottawa Art Gallery runs programs for young people. This led me to their website and what I discovered about their programs is very exciting. You never know what is just around the corner. I have bumped into this gallery owner many ties over the past month. We are setting up a coffee date to talk about how we can make use of her art gallery.
Everything happens for a reason. If you want more synchronicity in your life, start documenting all the coincidences that occur on a daily basis. If you own a journal, jot it down at the end of the day. Otherwise, keep track of synchronicity by writing it on a post it note. If you review your post its at the end of the week or month, you will notice a pattern. These "coincidences" are leading you in a direction. By paying attention to them, you will notice them increasing. To me, seeing signs and experiencing synchronicity is like crowd surfing. You let the signs propel you forward, trusting that you will end up where you need to be.
PS. When I logged in to write this post, I saw that 1111 people had read my blog. There is that number again :)
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I believe in signs. You know, like when you desperately need someone with a certain expertise and you go to a party you normally wouldn't attend and end up seated next to someone who specializes in that area of expertise. What are the chances?
There seem to be times in my life when I experience more signs and synchronicity. This month has been one of them. I first noticed signs when I was in my second year of study at Ottawa University. My Godfather's son was struck by a drunk driver and remained in a coma at the hospital until his organs could be harvested. Then, with the assurance from physicians that his 17 year old son was brain dead, my Godparents made the toughest decision of their lives, they removed the life support systems from their son and watched his life force fade away.
Following his death, I would see 10:10 everywhere and hear Hotel California or Stairway to Heaven. These were all signs reminding me of my cousin. I heard both songs when I was visiting my Godfather's home. They were playing a tape recording of my cousin playing guitar and singing along to those songs. After his death, I would hear those songs on the radio as we were driving or on television as I was flicking through channels or in the background at restaurants and malls. I was confused about the significance of 10:10 but I knew this started happening after his death so it must be related. I asked my Godparents if there was an important date like October 10th linked to my cousin or if something had happened at 10am on the 10th. Nothing. The very next day, I started seeing 11:11 everywhere and I realized it wasn't the number that was important.
When we returned from Florida, just over a month ago, I was preparing for my workshops at KPS. Those workshops came about because my daughters had friends over at the house, two sisters. Their mother came in for a coffee. She asked me about my work and I mentioned that I would like to do more work in schools but it is difficult to get into classrooms. She happened to be the head of the Parent Council and told me they really wanted to get more art in the school. The school tends to focus on sports but the parents want art as well. She connected me to another mother on the Parent Council and we wrote a proposal and the rest as they say is history.
While I was offering my workshops at the school, a parent from another school heard about it. This parent has a child in each school and wanted me to offer my workshops at the other school as well. This school knows my work because I offered a few after-school workshops in November 2014. They are now applying for this funding as well because of this one parent who heard about me and recognized my name from 2014.
Yesterday, I was thinking about the future of my business. It's nearly the end of the school year and I needed to figure out whether to approach summer camps to keep working with children or, focus on my workshops with adults. I asked the "powers that be" for a sign. I received an e-mail from one of the moms who attended my workshop for parents at KPS. She wanted me to know that she and her son are excited about the plans they made to spend time together in the summer because of the Wish Box they created during my third workshop. I was thrilled! Then, I checked my mailbox because I was waiting on a book I ordered online. There was a letter from the mother of a young lady who was at my workshops at the other school in 2014. She wanted to thank me for the impact I had on her daughter. Apparently, she enjoyed my workshops and learned a great deal. She had drawn a picture for me and wanted me to have it. The mother said: "I'm sorry, this letter is over a year late". I wrote back to the mother and daughter thanking them for the letter and art and, I told the mother that her letter was NOT late, it was right on time. When I held that letter and read it, I felt chills run up and down my spine and the art made my eyes water. It was such a huge affirmation that I needed to proceed with my work.
Last week, I donated a copy of my Poobum and Pompom book to our local library and asked them if I could organize a book launch with them. They run lots of parent-child groups and I thought they would be the best place to launch my second book which is meant to help parents communicate with their little ones when they are adjusting to the arrival of a sibling. I was asked to e-mail their Community Outreach person. I did and there was no reply. One week later, I had not received an e-mail to acknowledge that my inquiry was received or to express interest in hosting my book launch. I returned today to ask if I should expect a response. I was informed that their Community Outreach person is part-time therefore she may get back to me when she is in tomorrow.
As I was leaving the library, I bumped into the owner of a local art gallery. I told her I was frustrated with this lack of response. She showed me why she was there. She was leaving pamphlets to advertise an art tour that happens every year. She suggested I go to her art gallery to sell and promote my book. I need an indoor space to keep art materials from flying away so I told her the front lawn of her gallery would not work for what I was trying to do. She said I was welcome to go back some other time and use the back room of her art gallery. She then informed me that the Ottawa Art Gallery runs programs for young people. This led me to their website and what I discovered about their programs is very exciting. You never know what is just around the corner. I have bumped into this gallery owner many ties over the past month. We are setting up a coffee date to talk about how we can make use of her art gallery.
Everything happens for a reason. If you want more synchronicity in your life, start documenting all the coincidences that occur on a daily basis. If you own a journal, jot it down at the end of the day. Otherwise, keep track of synchronicity by writing it on a post it note. If you review your post its at the end of the week or month, you will notice a pattern. These "coincidences" are leading you in a direction. By paying attention to them, you will notice them increasing. To me, seeing signs and experiencing synchronicity is like crowd surfing. You let the signs propel you forward, trusting that you will end up where you need to be.
PS. When I logged in to write this post, I saw that 1111 people had read my blog. There is that number again :)
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 11 May 2016
Book of the Week-The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha
May 11th, 2016
Prior to our trip, I ran out of time to go into town and purchase a book. The Happiness Equation caught my eye on a table at Walmart. It's a thick and heavy book, impractical for a trip but it appealed to me and I purchased it anyways.
I like to read when the Vincent and the girls have gone to bed. I curl up on the couch with a cosy blanket, enjoying the quiet. This book had me hooked from the start. It's filled with quirky little diagrams and observations.
Neil talks about this community that lives long, healthy, happy lives. The key is "Ikigai". They all have a sense of purpose, a reason to get up every day. I started to think about my Ikigai. My daughters are mine-loving them, nurturing them and teaching them the important stuff in life. What is your Ikigai?
The author then divides the week into three buckets of 56 hours: one for sleep, one for work and a third to pursue our passion. I was impressed with this, 56 hours per week to pursue my passion. That sounds like a lot! My passions are learning, reading, teaching, creating, writing, public speaking and offering art therapy workshops to children and adults.
In the book, Neil describes how being at work provides social interaction, structure, intellectual stimulation and a story (you are part of the company's story re: who they are and what they are trying to accomplish). He explains how our delusions about retirement being the golden years where we get to do nothing rob us of the four Ss (social, structure, stimulation and story). We are meant to keep working and if we love what we do then it doesn't feel like work.
He believes happiness is only 10% affected by our circumstances, the other 90% comes from our perception. He explains that we pursue success thinking it will make us happy but we need to focus on our happiness first. Neil differentiates between three types of success: making money, earning the respect of others and, feeling proud of ourselves. As long as we depend on others to feel successful, our achievements will never be enough. That's why it's so important to find our bliss and dive in, then we can feel fulfilled.
We are encouraged to achieve a more balanced life by dividing our time evenly between doing and resting. In order to make time to think, Neil recommends we limit the number of choices we make every day to avoid decision fatigue and use that energy constructively. He also believes we need tighter deadlines so we have no time to procrastinate. One of the ways he did this was having 5 minute speeches at his meetings. That way people would get to the point. Everyone felt that their time was well spent. He also proposes having some down time where you can not be reached or distracted so you can just feed your brain.
My favourite part of the book was the three tests on page 245. The point of these tests is to find your authentic self. The tests consist of three questions:
1) What would you do on a Saturday morning if you had no obligations (you are completely free to do what you'd like)?
2) How do you feel when you put yourself in a new situation?
3) Who are the five people closest to you and what do you love most about them?
Neil says the five regrets of the dying are all related to authenticity. It's important to be true to yourself in order to live a happy life. What keeps us from being authentic? Fear. That is why we are encouraged to take action every day. Is there something we can do, even something small to move towards happiness ad fulfillment? Do it. The more we do, the more confident we become in our ability to get things done.
This book really got me thinking and moving in the right direction. Here is another question for you to consider...If you did not need any money, what would you do with your time? Where would you be? Who would you spend time with? What activities would you continue to pursue? Can you find a way to bring this into your life now?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Prior to our trip, I ran out of time to go into town and purchase a book. The Happiness Equation caught my eye on a table at Walmart. It's a thick and heavy book, impractical for a trip but it appealed to me and I purchased it anyways.
I like to read when the Vincent and the girls have gone to bed. I curl up on the couch with a cosy blanket, enjoying the quiet. This book had me hooked from the start. It's filled with quirky little diagrams and observations.
Neil talks about this community that lives long, healthy, happy lives. The key is "Ikigai". They all have a sense of purpose, a reason to get up every day. I started to think about my Ikigai. My daughters are mine-loving them, nurturing them and teaching them the important stuff in life. What is your Ikigai?
The author then divides the week into three buckets of 56 hours: one for sleep, one for work and a third to pursue our passion. I was impressed with this, 56 hours per week to pursue my passion. That sounds like a lot! My passions are learning, reading, teaching, creating, writing, public speaking and offering art therapy workshops to children and adults.
In the book, Neil describes how being at work provides social interaction, structure, intellectual stimulation and a story (you are part of the company's story re: who they are and what they are trying to accomplish). He explains how our delusions about retirement being the golden years where we get to do nothing rob us of the four Ss (social, structure, stimulation and story). We are meant to keep working and if we love what we do then it doesn't feel like work.
He believes happiness is only 10% affected by our circumstances, the other 90% comes from our perception. He explains that we pursue success thinking it will make us happy but we need to focus on our happiness first. Neil differentiates between three types of success: making money, earning the respect of others and, feeling proud of ourselves. As long as we depend on others to feel successful, our achievements will never be enough. That's why it's so important to find our bliss and dive in, then we can feel fulfilled.
We are encouraged to achieve a more balanced life by dividing our time evenly between doing and resting. In order to make time to think, Neil recommends we limit the number of choices we make every day to avoid decision fatigue and use that energy constructively. He also believes we need tighter deadlines so we have no time to procrastinate. One of the ways he did this was having 5 minute speeches at his meetings. That way people would get to the point. Everyone felt that their time was well spent. He also proposes having some down time where you can not be reached or distracted so you can just feed your brain.
My favourite part of the book was the three tests on page 245. The point of these tests is to find your authentic self. The tests consist of three questions:
1) What would you do on a Saturday morning if you had no obligations (you are completely free to do what you'd like)?
2) How do you feel when you put yourself in a new situation?
3) Who are the five people closest to you and what do you love most about them?
Neil says the five regrets of the dying are all related to authenticity. It's important to be true to yourself in order to live a happy life. What keeps us from being authentic? Fear. That is why we are encouraged to take action every day. Is there something we can do, even something small to move towards happiness ad fulfillment? Do it. The more we do, the more confident we become in our ability to get things done.
This book really got me thinking and moving in the right direction. Here is another question for you to consider...If you did not need any money, what would you do with your time? Where would you be? Who would you spend time with? What activities would you continue to pursue? Can you find a way to bring this into your life now?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 5 February 2016
Interview with a 40+ year old woman-HS
February 5th, 2016
When HS was 34 years old, she thought to herself that if she was still in the same spot in 10 years she would cry. She was facing a career crisis and decided to leave her stable, permanent position to pursue something more meaningful.
On her 39th birthday, she had a meltdown and cried. She was upset about not being where she expected to be by her 39th birthday. She was divorced, she had no children and she struggled with her career. She questioned everything about her life, starting with: Where did the last decade go? She looked at her grandma's silver and felt sad, she had no one to serve. She worried that, without children, she had no legacy to leave behind.
Two days after her 39th birthday she found out her sister's children were being taken away. She stepped in and took over the care of her niece and nephew, a 5 and 10 year old with high needs. She became a crisis parent and had to redefine herself as a family person. This was a sudden switch. She had adjusted to life after divorce. She enjoyed an active life with friends and many social and cultural outings. She loved to go dancing.
Suddenly, she was on house arrest. CAS is very strict regarding the people who are allowed to supervise the children so she couldn't leave them with a babysitter. She had no night off, no relief. She was no longer herself, just a parent. She worried that her chances of ever getting married were getting slim to impossible. It was challenging enough to find a man who would take on a woman and her children but she was raising someone else's children. On top of all this, she needed to switch jobs again. She had found meaningful work with a non-profit but her pay could not support the children. She set off to find a higher paying job that would help her provide for the children even if it wasn't the type of work that brought her any joy. The children came first.
This was her life as she turned 40. Then, 14 months after she had become a mom, her niece and nephew were adopted by another relative. Now she was grieving. In the past year, she had lost her dog, her horse and now the children that she imagined would be with her forever. The stress of it all affected her performance at work and when they went through restructuring she lost her job. The stress was causing health issues as well. She felt like the last few decades were like a revolving door and she had been spit out, weakened and alone.
She felt old. "In your 30s you can fake being in your 20s but by your 40s there's no turning back. No one calls you Miss anymore". HS got fed up of looking back and grieving. She was surrounded by older women who were healthy and thriving. She decided to look forward instead and she thinks this saved her. She sat down and wrote a bucket list. She wanted to try things she was interested in because "you can't control what life throws at you but you can keep trying". She thought about the next 10-20 years and asked herself what she'd like those years to look like. She knew she couldn't make healthy decisions from an unhealthy place so she began running, even on days she didn't feel like it. She waited until six months had passed since the children were adopted before she made any important decisions. She had felt the urge to sell everything and travel but she knew to allow some grieving time before she moved forward. She sorted through which opportunities she'd like to pursue. She was determined to knock on doors and see which ones would open.
HS is now 43 years old. She has written two books and is completing her PhD. Attending University has been a humbling experience. The student life is reminiscent of her 20s yet everything is different: a lot of information is online, her fellow students have their own jargon which she doesn't understand and learning requires more work than she remembers. However, she looks at her older friends and is inspired by them. "They have a sparkle in their eyes, they are fit and living their life. I want to be like them when I'm older". She feels like she has pressed a reset button and is starting a new chapter in her life. She no longer feels stuck on a train track heading nowhere. She has heard stories of people who did their best work in their later years. She plans to have the most productive years ahead of her. The work on her PhD is very meaningful and therapeutic.
If she could start over she would undo her marriage. She would socialize differently and marry someone else. She also would have completed a more practical degree like psychology or law. She feels that if she had been better supported as a child, she would have been more aware and recognized red flags like the ones her ex-husband was throwing her way.
HS is proud that she managed to get through the challenging times. Despite these difficult experiences, she has remained "young and hopeful rather than falling into anger and bitterness". She perceives the midlife crisis as an adult temper tantrum. "When you are younger you try to make things go your way then you realize it isn't working and you freak out. As you get older, you learn to go with the flow".
At this time in her life, she is trying to make healthy decisions that are authentic, not based on fears and panic. She treats her current fears the same way as the monster under the bed when she was a child. You are afraid of the monster under the bed but you get up and go to the washroom anyways. HS finds that physical activities in nature are the best outlets for her stress. It is where she goes to recharge. When she introduces others to nature, she feels energized. She has many friends she can turn to for support but a lot of them live far away so she is grateful for Skype. She has a better understanding of what is going on with her at this age and has learned to ask for what she needs. She no longer struggles with being on her own. She has less energy than she used to so she tends to collaborate with others. She gets energy from these collaborations and the many projects she leads.
One day, when she has completed her PhD and has a permanent job, HS would like to take a single mom under her wing. She thinks our individualistic culture neglects people who require support. "People have so much potential, they just need to feel supported, not so alone". She is passionate about including every member of society into the community and providing the necessary support so everyone has a chance.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
When HS was 34 years old, she thought to herself that if she was still in the same spot in 10 years she would cry. She was facing a career crisis and decided to leave her stable, permanent position to pursue something more meaningful.
On her 39th birthday, she had a meltdown and cried. She was upset about not being where she expected to be by her 39th birthday. She was divorced, she had no children and she struggled with her career. She questioned everything about her life, starting with: Where did the last decade go? She looked at her grandma's silver and felt sad, she had no one to serve. She worried that, without children, she had no legacy to leave behind.
Two days after her 39th birthday she found out her sister's children were being taken away. She stepped in and took over the care of her niece and nephew, a 5 and 10 year old with high needs. She became a crisis parent and had to redefine herself as a family person. This was a sudden switch. She had adjusted to life after divorce. She enjoyed an active life with friends and many social and cultural outings. She loved to go dancing.
Suddenly, she was on house arrest. CAS is very strict regarding the people who are allowed to supervise the children so she couldn't leave them with a babysitter. She had no night off, no relief. She was no longer herself, just a parent. She worried that her chances of ever getting married were getting slim to impossible. It was challenging enough to find a man who would take on a woman and her children but she was raising someone else's children. On top of all this, she needed to switch jobs again. She had found meaningful work with a non-profit but her pay could not support the children. She set off to find a higher paying job that would help her provide for the children even if it wasn't the type of work that brought her any joy. The children came first.
This was her life as she turned 40. Then, 14 months after she had become a mom, her niece and nephew were adopted by another relative. Now she was grieving. In the past year, she had lost her dog, her horse and now the children that she imagined would be with her forever. The stress of it all affected her performance at work and when they went through restructuring she lost her job. The stress was causing health issues as well. She felt like the last few decades were like a revolving door and she had been spit out, weakened and alone.
She felt old. "In your 30s you can fake being in your 20s but by your 40s there's no turning back. No one calls you Miss anymore". HS got fed up of looking back and grieving. She was surrounded by older women who were healthy and thriving. She decided to look forward instead and she thinks this saved her. She sat down and wrote a bucket list. She wanted to try things she was interested in because "you can't control what life throws at you but you can keep trying". She thought about the next 10-20 years and asked herself what she'd like those years to look like. She knew she couldn't make healthy decisions from an unhealthy place so she began running, even on days she didn't feel like it. She waited until six months had passed since the children were adopted before she made any important decisions. She had felt the urge to sell everything and travel but she knew to allow some grieving time before she moved forward. She sorted through which opportunities she'd like to pursue. She was determined to knock on doors and see which ones would open.
HS is now 43 years old. She has written two books and is completing her PhD. Attending University has been a humbling experience. The student life is reminiscent of her 20s yet everything is different: a lot of information is online, her fellow students have their own jargon which she doesn't understand and learning requires more work than she remembers. However, she looks at her older friends and is inspired by them. "They have a sparkle in their eyes, they are fit and living their life. I want to be like them when I'm older". She feels like she has pressed a reset button and is starting a new chapter in her life. She no longer feels stuck on a train track heading nowhere. She has heard stories of people who did their best work in their later years. She plans to have the most productive years ahead of her. The work on her PhD is very meaningful and therapeutic.
If she could start over she would undo her marriage. She would socialize differently and marry someone else. She also would have completed a more practical degree like psychology or law. She feels that if she had been better supported as a child, she would have been more aware and recognized red flags like the ones her ex-husband was throwing her way.
HS is proud that she managed to get through the challenging times. Despite these difficult experiences, she has remained "young and hopeful rather than falling into anger and bitterness". She perceives the midlife crisis as an adult temper tantrum. "When you are younger you try to make things go your way then you realize it isn't working and you freak out. As you get older, you learn to go with the flow".
At this time in her life, she is trying to make healthy decisions that are authentic, not based on fears and panic. She treats her current fears the same way as the monster under the bed when she was a child. You are afraid of the monster under the bed but you get up and go to the washroom anyways. HS finds that physical activities in nature are the best outlets for her stress. It is where she goes to recharge. When she introduces others to nature, she feels energized. She has many friends she can turn to for support but a lot of them live far away so she is grateful for Skype. She has a better understanding of what is going on with her at this age and has learned to ask for what she needs. She no longer struggles with being on her own. She has less energy than she used to so she tends to collaborate with others. She gets energy from these collaborations and the many projects she leads.
One day, when she has completed her PhD and has a permanent job, HS would like to take a single mom under her wing. She thinks our individualistic culture neglects people who require support. "People have so much potential, they just need to feel supported, not so alone". She is passionate about including every member of society into the community and providing the necessary support so everyone has a chance.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 1 January 2016
The Compass
January 1st, 2016
This is an exciting day for me. I have decided to start a new blog. My goal is to blog every day on a variety of topics: motherhood, mental health, physical health, "greening" trends, creativity, a book of the week and, interviews with 40+ year old women. Every week, there will be a post on each of these topics.
Why? I love to write, I do it every day. Also, I love to learn and share what I find out with others. This blog will allow me to accomplish both.
The Compass-I noticed, prior to turning 40, that many of the women around me who had just "celebrated" their 40th birthday were getting divorced, feeling depressed about their age or wanting to run away, to escape, to start over. I was puzzled and a little frightened about what lay ahead for me.
Since my 40th birthday, I have left my 12 year career as a full-time college professor to work from home. This allowed me to put my daughters on the school bus every morning and be present for them at the end of their school day. In theory, I would work from home while they were in school. Sounds ideal doesn't it? However, many clients work during the week so I had to add clients on Saturdays. I offer workshops and meet with individual art therapy clients on Saturdays. I published two children's books and participated in a variety of community projects, wrote meaningful articles for our local newspaper, all good stuff.
What I noticed though was a deep desire for my work to be lucrative. My husband was not exactly on board when I left my position at the college. He recognized that it was a toxic environment, that the commute was stressful and that it cost a lot of money when I worked: babysitting, gas, parking, coffee on campus etc. However, he was not ready to become the main provider for our family. Coming from a low income family, the threat of poverty was very real and scary for him. He runs a successful business and we could survive quite well on his salary alone but I felt that I needed to make money, asap, to reassure him that this was the right decision. I had no doubt that being more present for my children was the right thing to do and that moving away from the stress of my work environment would lead to a better quality of life.
What I didn't anticipate was the blow to my self-esteem when I earned less money. I love my work as an art therapist. When I watch group members grow, change, gain valuable insight and feel supported, I know I am on the right path. When I have a client walk into my studio in pain and leave feeling lighter with a bounce in their step, I feel so grateful for this work. When I bring my workshops to a hospice, the local youth center, the military family resource centre or in schools, I am so happy I could explode! While I am working, I feel fantastic but the gaps between clients create self-doubt. Should I just get a full-time job as a receptionist and do what I love on the weekend? If I get a 9-5 job, who will be here for our children? The need to compensate for the gap in income impacts every aspect of my life and self-concept.
What I am examining in my own life, I see in the lives of many 40+ women. We have lost our compass. At each stage of our life, we have a specific task. We are adding an element to our lives: a career, our own home, a partner, maybe a child or a pet, climbing the ladder at work etc. We are great at caring for our loved ones. Then we reach a point when every category competes for our time, energy and attention. We have a demanding job during the day, plans with our partner after work and a sick child at home. We do our best to be the best employee, mother, spouse, daughter, friend we can be. Our children grow and become more independent, our partner's business is thriving, our workplace changes as do the expectations on us and our parents age.
We wake up during our 40s and realize that we have neglected our own needs. We look in the mirror and notice how much weight we've gained. We read old journal entries and recall our aspirations. We examine our relationships and do some pruning. This is where all the changes happen for women in this age group. There is an awakening. It might make you sad, angry, satisfied, excited, either way, you are motivated to take action.
I have many interests that I wish to explore and share with you. That is what this blog is all about. This is an opportunity for me to expand my horizons, satisfy my curiosity and connect with others. Reading about and, reporting on various topics will restore the equilibrium in my life. If you would like to read my other blog or learn more about my services, please visit my website: www.artnsoul.org
This is an exciting day for me. I have decided to start a new blog. My goal is to blog every day on a variety of topics: motherhood, mental health, physical health, "greening" trends, creativity, a book of the week and, interviews with 40+ year old women. Every week, there will be a post on each of these topics.
Why? I love to write, I do it every day. Also, I love to learn and share what I find out with others. This blog will allow me to accomplish both.
The Compass-I noticed, prior to turning 40, that many of the women around me who had just "celebrated" their 40th birthday were getting divorced, feeling depressed about their age or wanting to run away, to escape, to start over. I was puzzled and a little frightened about what lay ahead for me.
Since my 40th birthday, I have left my 12 year career as a full-time college professor to work from home. This allowed me to put my daughters on the school bus every morning and be present for them at the end of their school day. In theory, I would work from home while they were in school. Sounds ideal doesn't it? However, many clients work during the week so I had to add clients on Saturdays. I offer workshops and meet with individual art therapy clients on Saturdays. I published two children's books and participated in a variety of community projects, wrote meaningful articles for our local newspaper, all good stuff.
What I noticed though was a deep desire for my work to be lucrative. My husband was not exactly on board when I left my position at the college. He recognized that it was a toxic environment, that the commute was stressful and that it cost a lot of money when I worked: babysitting, gas, parking, coffee on campus etc. However, he was not ready to become the main provider for our family. Coming from a low income family, the threat of poverty was very real and scary for him. He runs a successful business and we could survive quite well on his salary alone but I felt that I needed to make money, asap, to reassure him that this was the right decision. I had no doubt that being more present for my children was the right thing to do and that moving away from the stress of my work environment would lead to a better quality of life.
What I didn't anticipate was the blow to my self-esteem when I earned less money. I love my work as an art therapist. When I watch group members grow, change, gain valuable insight and feel supported, I know I am on the right path. When I have a client walk into my studio in pain and leave feeling lighter with a bounce in their step, I feel so grateful for this work. When I bring my workshops to a hospice, the local youth center, the military family resource centre or in schools, I am so happy I could explode! While I am working, I feel fantastic but the gaps between clients create self-doubt. Should I just get a full-time job as a receptionist and do what I love on the weekend? If I get a 9-5 job, who will be here for our children? The need to compensate for the gap in income impacts every aspect of my life and self-concept.
What I am examining in my own life, I see in the lives of many 40+ women. We have lost our compass. At each stage of our life, we have a specific task. We are adding an element to our lives: a career, our own home, a partner, maybe a child or a pet, climbing the ladder at work etc. We are great at caring for our loved ones. Then we reach a point when every category competes for our time, energy and attention. We have a demanding job during the day, plans with our partner after work and a sick child at home. We do our best to be the best employee, mother, spouse, daughter, friend we can be. Our children grow and become more independent, our partner's business is thriving, our workplace changes as do the expectations on us and our parents age.
We wake up during our 40s and realize that we have neglected our own needs. We look in the mirror and notice how much weight we've gained. We read old journal entries and recall our aspirations. We examine our relationships and do some pruning. This is where all the changes happen for women in this age group. There is an awakening. It might make you sad, angry, satisfied, excited, either way, you are motivated to take action.
I have many interests that I wish to explore and share with you. That is what this blog is all about. This is an opportunity for me to expand my horizons, satisfy my curiosity and connect with others. Reading about and, reporting on various topics will restore the equilibrium in my life. If you would like to read my other blog or learn more about my services, please visit my website: www.artnsoul.org
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