December 27th, 2016
My husband invited his mother to join us for Christmas this year. I was worried. It is such a relaxing, peaceful, enjoyable holiday. My husband's relationship with his mother is intense. They can talk and laugh then suddenly, out of nowhere, it all takes a wrong turn, hurtful words are spoken, voices are raised. Would this change the feeling of our holiday? I thought it might be the last year that our eldest would believe in Santa and, considering the mess up with our youngest daughter's gift from Santa (still no parcel from Amazon), it might be her last year as well. I didn't want to mess it up.
I enjoy my mother-in-law. She is funny and she is even healthier than during her last visit in the summer so there are more activities we can do. She loves her cup of tea, sweets and talking about everything and anything. I feel comfortable with her. She is direct and I know what she wants, likes and hates, which makes it easy for me.
Whenever she comes for a visit, I observe first-hand how my husband and his mother interact; what annoys him (her saying racist things or recalling past events in a way that shines a more positive light on her), what hurts her (when he raises his voice, asks her to stop talking or says she is being selfish) and, what brings them closer (music, movies, the Queen). As I spent time with my mother and his, I observed how our own expectations can mess up an opportunity to create happy memories. We forget that our parents are human beings with qualities that we take for granted, judge weaknesses that come from their own upbringing and life experiences and, personality traits that make them who they are.
I am reading a book by Melissa Moore called, Whole. I was reading a chapter on forgiveness on Boxing Day. My husband was upset because of something his mother said that he felt was hurtful and inappropriate. I asked him to read that chapter. It seemed to clear the air. The chapter urges people to stop when someone has hurt or angered them and consider the intention of the person, the context in which that person was raised, how their life and belief system were shaped. If you can think of that person as another soul on a journey toward personal growth, you realize that you are also imperfect, a fellow traveller.
Christmas is a time to celebrate but it is also filled with expectations. Whatever conflicts or issues already exist seem to be intensified over the holidays. Stepping back from our expectations, we create space to let each person bring what they can, to show up "as is" and be loved. Everyone needs to belong to a group. On Christmas Day, my mother-in-law was overwhelmed when she received a full stocking (a first for her) and gifts from my mother, her son, the children and myself. She started to cry and we were all taken aback. We asked what was wrong and she just said she felt loved and it was a bit overwhelming. We all stopped what we were doing, even the kids, and gave her a hug.
That one moment transformed Christmas morning for me. I imagined what it must be like to never receive a gift or stocking at Christmas, or to not feel loved or never feel that you belong to any group. I was so moved and it made me grateful for the love in my life. Our daughters watched her in awe. They were so sweet to her, fetching her slippers, bringing a foot stool and offering her candy. I was proud of my girls. Sometimes, you need to be confronted with someone's pain in order to notice the absence of it in your own life. We are so lucky. We have each other, we love one another and only want what's best for everyone.
I am grateful for my mother-in-law. She brought an appreciation of Christmas for us. She gave our daughters an opportunity to be compassionate and helpful. My husband learned to accept her as she is, flawed but still the woman who gave him life. I am grateful for my family. They are kind and loving and I am thrilled to belong them. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you are all safe, loved and at peace!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Tuesday, 27 December 2016
Friday, 16 December 2016
The Therapeutic Effect of De-cluttering
December 16th, 2016
Today was one of those days. You know the ones? You have an ambitious to-do list and you toss and turn all night going over what you want to accomplish, trying to figure out how to proceed. Where do I start? That was me this morning. I looked at my list, turned on the music and got busy. Among the items on my list were de-cluttering and re-organizing furniture.
My mother-in-law will be visiting for ten days over Christmas. I now have one visit under my belt therefore I know what to expect, we have met and connected in the summer so it's less stressful in that way this time. However, it's winter and Christmas therefore I need to prepare for her visit differently. Our bedroom is quite cold and I don't want her to freeze during her visit as she will be sleeping in our room. The contractors came to finish sealing up our new windows today so that is one less concern. I have been cranking up the heat at the girls' bath time to see how cozy the room can get.
Last time, the girls spent most of their time playing in my eldest daughter's room. They were excited to meet their grandma but she didn't spend a great deal of time getting to know them. Every time they sat near her, they listened to adult conversations and felt excluded. By the time she left, they did not feel that they had gotten to know her. They were sad that they hadn't bonded. I have moved our dining room table to the kitchen where it once was, when the children were little. In the old dining room, I have set up a play room. This is how the house was set up for years when the girls were little. They loved it and it was a great way to keep an eye on them while I cooked. I am hoping that they will have more opportunities to interact with their grandma if they are playing on the main floor where we are.
Christmas is a big thing in our home. We spend our time hanging out in our pyjamas. We eat, read, play, watch movies and eat again. We talk and laugh, light sparklers and pull crackers. We all love this time of the year. That is one of the reasons I am a bit nervous. I hope Christmas will be just as awesome this year. When my mother-in-law visited in the summer, my husband struggled with the gap between his expectations and the reality of his relationship with his mother. He rode a roller coaster of anxiety, anger, guilt and sadness. He and his mother bickered at times. I was taken aback by their interaction because I knew he really wanted her to be there. He spent a great deal of time leaving the house for errands and I spent more time with my mother-in-law than he did. I didn't mind it because she is easy to get along with however, my daughters felt neglected. I wasn't playing with them or talking to them as much and they resented it. Now, we are heading into this special holiday and I want to make my mother-in-law feel welcome while still making time to create memories with the girls.
Ever since the girls have arrived from school, they have been playing in their new toy room on the main floor. We ate at the dining table in the kitchen. It all feels like before, when they were little and it brings back fond memories. I feel a shift in the energy in the house. It feels good. I am thrilled with what I got done today. It was just that kind of day, I was on a roll. I am one step closer to having our home ready for a special guest. My hope for the holidays is that my husband will treat this visit as a gift, an opportunity to spend a peaceful Christmas surrounded by the women and girls who love him: his mother, my mother, our daughters and, of course, his wife.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today was one of those days. You know the ones? You have an ambitious to-do list and you toss and turn all night going over what you want to accomplish, trying to figure out how to proceed. Where do I start? That was me this morning. I looked at my list, turned on the music and got busy. Among the items on my list were de-cluttering and re-organizing furniture.
My mother-in-law will be visiting for ten days over Christmas. I now have one visit under my belt therefore I know what to expect, we have met and connected in the summer so it's less stressful in that way this time. However, it's winter and Christmas therefore I need to prepare for her visit differently. Our bedroom is quite cold and I don't want her to freeze during her visit as she will be sleeping in our room. The contractors came to finish sealing up our new windows today so that is one less concern. I have been cranking up the heat at the girls' bath time to see how cozy the room can get.
Last time, the girls spent most of their time playing in my eldest daughter's room. They were excited to meet their grandma but she didn't spend a great deal of time getting to know them. Every time they sat near her, they listened to adult conversations and felt excluded. By the time she left, they did not feel that they had gotten to know her. They were sad that they hadn't bonded. I have moved our dining room table to the kitchen where it once was, when the children were little. In the old dining room, I have set up a play room. This is how the house was set up for years when the girls were little. They loved it and it was a great way to keep an eye on them while I cooked. I am hoping that they will have more opportunities to interact with their grandma if they are playing on the main floor where we are.
Christmas is a big thing in our home. We spend our time hanging out in our pyjamas. We eat, read, play, watch movies and eat again. We talk and laugh, light sparklers and pull crackers. We all love this time of the year. That is one of the reasons I am a bit nervous. I hope Christmas will be just as awesome this year. When my mother-in-law visited in the summer, my husband struggled with the gap between his expectations and the reality of his relationship with his mother. He rode a roller coaster of anxiety, anger, guilt and sadness. He and his mother bickered at times. I was taken aback by their interaction because I knew he really wanted her to be there. He spent a great deal of time leaving the house for errands and I spent more time with my mother-in-law than he did. I didn't mind it because she is easy to get along with however, my daughters felt neglected. I wasn't playing with them or talking to them as much and they resented it. Now, we are heading into this special holiday and I want to make my mother-in-law feel welcome while still making time to create memories with the girls.
Ever since the girls have arrived from school, they have been playing in their new toy room on the main floor. We ate at the dining table in the kitchen. It all feels like before, when they were little and it brings back fond memories. I feel a shift in the energy in the house. It feels good. I am thrilled with what I got done today. It was just that kind of day, I was on a roll. I am one step closer to having our home ready for a special guest. My hope for the holidays is that my husband will treat this visit as a gift, an opportunity to spend a peaceful Christmas surrounded by the women and girls who love him: his mother, my mother, our daughters and, of course, his wife.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 1 December 2016
Am I a Writer Yet?
December 1st, 2016
In the early 2000s, I submitted a short story to a collaborative book published by Mimi Publishing. I wrote about my work with people diagnosed with dementia. I wanted to inspire the staff in long term care and loved ones of individuals with dementia to stimulate and appreciate the person within the illness. When Mimi Publishing was ready to start its second collaboration, I submitted a more personal story. This time, my aim was to write about my childhood in a less than ideal low income neighbourhood in order to reach out to at-risk teens. The message to my story was that you can't choose your lifestyle when you are a child but, as an adult, you can design your own life regardless of your beginnings. The lady who edited my text, focused on the biographical aspect of my story and, by the time it went to print, there wasn't much left of the motivational part of my story. I was disappointed and never really sold that book to anyone.
Years later, I interviewed older adults living in my neighbourhood and submitted their stories to the local paper. I enjoyed doing this and ended up being a reporter for some time, visiting local businesses and interesting individuals to document what they were doing and why it mattered to the people in our community.
I enjoyed writing. I was able to use my creativity and people wrote to me or spoke to me when we bumped into one another to say they loved reading what I wrote. I approached a friend and artist Meredith Luce and we collaborated on a deck of art therapy cards. These cards were meant to help ease women going through painful life transitions by suggesting art therapy directives they could do from home with cheap materials.
I started volunteering in my daughter's class. I wanted to design workshops that taught life skills such as friendship, stress management, healthy boundaries, constructive self-expression and self-care but I couldn't find a book about the healthy expression of anger or frustration. This led me down the self-publishing path and my first book was born. Have You Hugged Your Alien? was my tool to initiate conversations with elementary school children about the normalcy of their emotions.
I followed up with a second book dealing with sibling rivalry as children adjust to a younger sibling. The first book was popular with teachers, therapists and parents. The second book was used by parents and the workshops were mostly in libraries or after school programs.
Last January, after chatting with my friend Chris who is a writer, I expressed my desire to write more often but my confusion about how one goes about getting paid for their work. Chris has been my informal mentor since then, pointing out grant application deadline, writer's festivals and events as well as associations that support and promote the work of writers. I have learned a great deal from her. I figured if I wanted to feel like a writer, I needed to write every day. So, I started this blog and I have written on most weekdays since then. I also write in my journal.
This past weekend, I attended the Small Press Fair in Ottawa. I was really scared but I got registered and showed up anyways. Mandy from Classic Graphics had prepared a huge sign for me with a bio and a copy of the title page from each book as well as my logo on it. She did a great job, as usual. I found a table, under the gaze of the other writers who were already set up. I noticed they all had table cloths, really good quality ones. Oops! I scrambled back to my car and, luckily, I had a Dollar Store tablecloth in my truck, leftover from Wednesday's workshop. It would have to do. I finished setting up my table and acknowledged my neighbours, the ten sets of eyes sitting across from me. I felt like such a newbie. My sign was way too big. Everyone else was way more discreet. I felt like a nouveau riche surrounded by people who came from old money. "One of these things is not like the others". I stayed, I met interesting people, made excellent connections and now have one small press fair under my belt. It turns out that many of the people around my table were also new to this. Everyone was nice and supportive. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Now, I am writing a book for women, The Mommy Monologues. I am interviewing mothers from every walk of life. I have written a quarter of it already. I am humbled and moved by the tremendous stories of love and courage that these mothers are sharing with me. I used to be an art therapist who also liked to write. As time goes on, more people introduce me as a writer who is also an art therapist. I was thinking about this on the weekend. I felt like an imposter. I didn't study English literature, I'm never sure if my grammar and punctuation are acceptable, English isn't even my first language. I love to write and do it every day but I still feel like a liar when I say I'm a writer. I wondered what makes someone a writer. There are plenty of successful authors who did not have a background in English Literature. There is an equally impressive amount of people with an English degree who have yet to write anything. So, this leads me to my question: Am I a writer yet?
I feel like an art therapist who loves to write and does so to help people connect and heal. I proudly call myself an author because I have self-published books however, I still feel like a fraud if I call myself a writer. Perhaps this next book will be a game-changer for me. Who knows? For now, I am just enjoying the writing process, the therapeutic value in people telling their stories to someone who is hanging on their every word, the sense of hope and connection that women get from recognizing their story in someone else's narrative and, the pride I get for bringing these amazing women together in one book.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
In the early 2000s, I submitted a short story to a collaborative book published by Mimi Publishing. I wrote about my work with people diagnosed with dementia. I wanted to inspire the staff in long term care and loved ones of individuals with dementia to stimulate and appreciate the person within the illness. When Mimi Publishing was ready to start its second collaboration, I submitted a more personal story. This time, my aim was to write about my childhood in a less than ideal low income neighbourhood in order to reach out to at-risk teens. The message to my story was that you can't choose your lifestyle when you are a child but, as an adult, you can design your own life regardless of your beginnings. The lady who edited my text, focused on the biographical aspect of my story and, by the time it went to print, there wasn't much left of the motivational part of my story. I was disappointed and never really sold that book to anyone.
Years later, I interviewed older adults living in my neighbourhood and submitted their stories to the local paper. I enjoyed doing this and ended up being a reporter for some time, visiting local businesses and interesting individuals to document what they were doing and why it mattered to the people in our community.
I enjoyed writing. I was able to use my creativity and people wrote to me or spoke to me when we bumped into one another to say they loved reading what I wrote. I approached a friend and artist Meredith Luce and we collaborated on a deck of art therapy cards. These cards were meant to help ease women going through painful life transitions by suggesting art therapy directives they could do from home with cheap materials.
I started volunteering in my daughter's class. I wanted to design workshops that taught life skills such as friendship, stress management, healthy boundaries, constructive self-expression and self-care but I couldn't find a book about the healthy expression of anger or frustration. This led me down the self-publishing path and my first book was born. Have You Hugged Your Alien? was my tool to initiate conversations with elementary school children about the normalcy of their emotions.
I followed up with a second book dealing with sibling rivalry as children adjust to a younger sibling. The first book was popular with teachers, therapists and parents. The second book was used by parents and the workshops were mostly in libraries or after school programs.
Last January, after chatting with my friend Chris who is a writer, I expressed my desire to write more often but my confusion about how one goes about getting paid for their work. Chris has been my informal mentor since then, pointing out grant application deadline, writer's festivals and events as well as associations that support and promote the work of writers. I have learned a great deal from her. I figured if I wanted to feel like a writer, I needed to write every day. So, I started this blog and I have written on most weekdays since then. I also write in my journal.
This past weekend, I attended the Small Press Fair in Ottawa. I was really scared but I got registered and showed up anyways. Mandy from Classic Graphics had prepared a huge sign for me with a bio and a copy of the title page from each book as well as my logo on it. She did a great job, as usual. I found a table, under the gaze of the other writers who were already set up. I noticed they all had table cloths, really good quality ones. Oops! I scrambled back to my car and, luckily, I had a Dollar Store tablecloth in my truck, leftover from Wednesday's workshop. It would have to do. I finished setting up my table and acknowledged my neighbours, the ten sets of eyes sitting across from me. I felt like such a newbie. My sign was way too big. Everyone else was way more discreet. I felt like a nouveau riche surrounded by people who came from old money. "One of these things is not like the others". I stayed, I met interesting people, made excellent connections and now have one small press fair under my belt. It turns out that many of the people around my table were also new to this. Everyone was nice and supportive. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Now, I am writing a book for women, The Mommy Monologues. I am interviewing mothers from every walk of life. I have written a quarter of it already. I am humbled and moved by the tremendous stories of love and courage that these mothers are sharing with me. I used to be an art therapist who also liked to write. As time goes on, more people introduce me as a writer who is also an art therapist. I was thinking about this on the weekend. I felt like an imposter. I didn't study English literature, I'm never sure if my grammar and punctuation are acceptable, English isn't even my first language. I love to write and do it every day but I still feel like a liar when I say I'm a writer. I wondered what makes someone a writer. There are plenty of successful authors who did not have a background in English Literature. There is an equally impressive amount of people with an English degree who have yet to write anything. So, this leads me to my question: Am I a writer yet?
I feel like an art therapist who loves to write and does so to help people connect and heal. I proudly call myself an author because I have self-published books however, I still feel like a fraud if I call myself a writer. Perhaps this next book will be a game-changer for me. Who knows? For now, I am just enjoying the writing process, the therapeutic value in people telling their stories to someone who is hanging on their every word, the sense of hope and connection that women get from recognizing their story in someone else's narrative and, the pride I get for bringing these amazing women together in one book.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 29 November 2016
Divorce-Happily Ever After
November 29th, 2016
I can not believe how long it has been since I last posted on this blog. The past week has flown by with a combination of snow days, PD days and sick days. Today is the second snow day of the season but my children are happily playing upstairs. So, I am frantically attempting to write something before they realize I am being productive.
Last month, I read an article in Chatelaine about a woman who was describing how awesome her life was post-divorce. We get free copies of Chatelaine for some reason and I was thumbing through it at breakfast. I was shocked by the article. I know there are many relationships where the people are far better off when it's all over. However, I was struck by the tone of the article. It sounded like divorce was trendy, a lifestyle choice. The author boasted about sleeping in on weekends when the children were at their dad's house. She explained how great it was to have time for herself to take a bath and fold laundry at her own pace. She described how the children benefitted from each parent exposing them to different activities and interests. It sounded like a new ideal, the utopia of divorced couples.
My husband is a hairstylist. He hears about approximately two divorces per week. This is an alarming rate. He comes home after hearing the horror stories of court cases, money battles, children stuck in the middle and it really bothers him that these people are suffering. I hear from women in my work as a therapist. There is no party, only grief and disillusionment. Divorce is not the easy way out. It's not clean cut, straightforward or festive.
Just over a week after reading the article, I saw the movie, Bad Moms. I was really looking forward to it. I saw the trailer and laughed out loud. When we watched the entire movie however, I was surprised to encounter the same message as the article. The main character has a dead beat husband who cheats on her. She decides to kick him out. She spends her days partying with some new friends and driving her ex-husband's sports car. She also meets Mr Right immediately and had sex with him the day before she goes to marriage counselling with her husband. By the end of the movie, her ex and her are friendly, her kids are doing great, she is with the new hottie and has new friends. She has quit her job but it's ok because she's been promoted to a better job.
I want to be clear here that I am not anti-divorce. I know women struggle with the decision for years and often stay longer than they should to protect the children. I get that there are some relationships that have been so damaged by betrayal or abuse that they can never be fixed. What I object to is the glamorization of divorce. The concept that if your life or relationship sucks, you can just dump your husband and everything will fall into place. You will feel awesome and attract a new guy and live happily ever after.
The reality is that your life will be stressful, emotional and chaotic until you are done with the legal, financial aspect of your divorce. You will not feel like jumping into a new relationship. Your children will take their anger out on you even if they can clearly see that leaving your spouse was for the best. You will have to deal with all the issues that came up in your marriage, your fear of abandonment, your inability to trust, your need to control, whatever it is for you. If you jump into another relationship right away, you will only repeat the same painful patterns. Divorce, even when it's the right decision, is a painful transition and it takes time. Any article or movie that teaches you otherwise is misleading.
If you are thinking about leaving your spouse, ask yourself these questions:
1) If I was divorced, how would my life be different? What would I do that is different from my current life? Often, we imagine ourselves leading this exciting life as if our husbands were the only thing standing in our way. Can you implement any of these activities or behaviours in your life right now? You may be surprised by the impact this has on your relationship and your personal happiness.
2) What new behaviours or patterns would you initiate in your next relationship? Can you practice these new patterns in your current relationship? If you imagine yourself being sexually active in your next relationship but you are timid and reserved in this one, try experimenting with your current partner. Can you re-ignite your passion? Try role-playing.
3) Can you see any similarity between your parents' relationship and your own or, between your relationship with one of your parents and your current relationship with your spouse? If daddy always let you down, you may have learned to be self-sufficient. This could lead to shutting your spouse out of your life. Is there room for him? What would happen if you let him and asked him for help, support or affection? Are you willing to be vulnerable?
4) When was the last time you felt connected to your partner? Can you recall what attracted you to him? When did these feelings stop? Are they still there, somewhere? You may want to participate in activities you used to enjoy as a couple in those early days. How about a road trip without the kids? My husband and I love going to Montreal for an overnight.
5) Have you communicated with your husband? Many times, the truth comes out during the divorce process. None of the frustrations or complaints were addressed during the relationship. Then, the husband hears the truth from others or reads it on a court document. It may feel risky to open up a can of worms but it could help and is way less painful than getting divorced.
If you are getting divorced, here are some tips from my clients:
1) Don't make any huge plans or drastic changes right after the separation
2) Give yourself time to grieve
3) Your children are angry and they will act out but, over time, things will calm down, don't take their words personally, they will be loving again
4) Don't talk negatively to your children about their dad. This puts them in the middle and creates tension in them as they feel forced to choose between their parents (and lie to protect their feelings)
5) Surround yourself with positive, supportive people
6) Make self-care a priority
7) Keep your children's best interest at the centre of your interactions with your ex
8) Don't jump into a new relationship to avoid the pain
9) The pain and intensity of this experience will fade over time, it is temporary
10) Focus on moving on with your life and creating something positive rather than holding on to your feelings about your ex and punishing him (draining)
I hope this post has been useful.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I can not believe how long it has been since I last posted on this blog. The past week has flown by with a combination of snow days, PD days and sick days. Today is the second snow day of the season but my children are happily playing upstairs. So, I am frantically attempting to write something before they realize I am being productive.
Last month, I read an article in Chatelaine about a woman who was describing how awesome her life was post-divorce. We get free copies of Chatelaine for some reason and I was thumbing through it at breakfast. I was shocked by the article. I know there are many relationships where the people are far better off when it's all over. However, I was struck by the tone of the article. It sounded like divorce was trendy, a lifestyle choice. The author boasted about sleeping in on weekends when the children were at their dad's house. She explained how great it was to have time for herself to take a bath and fold laundry at her own pace. She described how the children benefitted from each parent exposing them to different activities and interests. It sounded like a new ideal, the utopia of divorced couples.
My husband is a hairstylist. He hears about approximately two divorces per week. This is an alarming rate. He comes home after hearing the horror stories of court cases, money battles, children stuck in the middle and it really bothers him that these people are suffering. I hear from women in my work as a therapist. There is no party, only grief and disillusionment. Divorce is not the easy way out. It's not clean cut, straightforward or festive.
Just over a week after reading the article, I saw the movie, Bad Moms. I was really looking forward to it. I saw the trailer and laughed out loud. When we watched the entire movie however, I was surprised to encounter the same message as the article. The main character has a dead beat husband who cheats on her. She decides to kick him out. She spends her days partying with some new friends and driving her ex-husband's sports car. She also meets Mr Right immediately and had sex with him the day before she goes to marriage counselling with her husband. By the end of the movie, her ex and her are friendly, her kids are doing great, she is with the new hottie and has new friends. She has quit her job but it's ok because she's been promoted to a better job.
I want to be clear here that I am not anti-divorce. I know women struggle with the decision for years and often stay longer than they should to protect the children. I get that there are some relationships that have been so damaged by betrayal or abuse that they can never be fixed. What I object to is the glamorization of divorce. The concept that if your life or relationship sucks, you can just dump your husband and everything will fall into place. You will feel awesome and attract a new guy and live happily ever after.
The reality is that your life will be stressful, emotional and chaotic until you are done with the legal, financial aspect of your divorce. You will not feel like jumping into a new relationship. Your children will take their anger out on you even if they can clearly see that leaving your spouse was for the best. You will have to deal with all the issues that came up in your marriage, your fear of abandonment, your inability to trust, your need to control, whatever it is for you. If you jump into another relationship right away, you will only repeat the same painful patterns. Divorce, even when it's the right decision, is a painful transition and it takes time. Any article or movie that teaches you otherwise is misleading.
If you are thinking about leaving your spouse, ask yourself these questions:
1) If I was divorced, how would my life be different? What would I do that is different from my current life? Often, we imagine ourselves leading this exciting life as if our husbands were the only thing standing in our way. Can you implement any of these activities or behaviours in your life right now? You may be surprised by the impact this has on your relationship and your personal happiness.
2) What new behaviours or patterns would you initiate in your next relationship? Can you practice these new patterns in your current relationship? If you imagine yourself being sexually active in your next relationship but you are timid and reserved in this one, try experimenting with your current partner. Can you re-ignite your passion? Try role-playing.
3) Can you see any similarity between your parents' relationship and your own or, between your relationship with one of your parents and your current relationship with your spouse? If daddy always let you down, you may have learned to be self-sufficient. This could lead to shutting your spouse out of your life. Is there room for him? What would happen if you let him and asked him for help, support or affection? Are you willing to be vulnerable?
4) When was the last time you felt connected to your partner? Can you recall what attracted you to him? When did these feelings stop? Are they still there, somewhere? You may want to participate in activities you used to enjoy as a couple in those early days. How about a road trip without the kids? My husband and I love going to Montreal for an overnight.
5) Have you communicated with your husband? Many times, the truth comes out during the divorce process. None of the frustrations or complaints were addressed during the relationship. Then, the husband hears the truth from others or reads it on a court document. It may feel risky to open up a can of worms but it could help and is way less painful than getting divorced.
If you are getting divorced, here are some tips from my clients:
1) Don't make any huge plans or drastic changes right after the separation
2) Give yourself time to grieve
3) Your children are angry and they will act out but, over time, things will calm down, don't take their words personally, they will be loving again
4) Don't talk negatively to your children about their dad. This puts them in the middle and creates tension in them as they feel forced to choose between their parents (and lie to protect their feelings)
5) Surround yourself with positive, supportive people
6) Make self-care a priority
7) Keep your children's best interest at the centre of your interactions with your ex
8) Don't jump into a new relationship to avoid the pain
9) The pain and intensity of this experience will fade over time, it is temporary
10) Focus on moving on with your life and creating something positive rather than holding on to your feelings about your ex and punishing him (draining)
I hope this post has been useful.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 7 November 2016
Healing Frequencies
November 7th, 2016
Ok. I'm no science geek but, lately, I have found three areas of interest converging in my life.
1) I posted about the innovative treatments for concussions using light, sound, electrical stimulation and movement last week.
2) I also posted about the annoying presence of lice in our schools. After my daughters were contaminated at a sleepover this summer, I went Rambo on the beasties. I still check them every week, much to their chagrin and, as soon as they scratch their head, I am up and over them, scrutinizing their scalps. In short, I think I've lost my mind. They would agree. I hated those lice so much and I never want to go through that experience again.
3) Ever since I met with cancer survivors and interviewed them for the paper, I have been investigating alternative treatments. I watched, The Truth About Cancer and read about the use of marijuana, herbs, teas, energy therapies, oxygen therapy and essential oils.
So, the other day, my husband and I were driving to lunch and he laughed at my obsession with lice. I had recently watched The Nature of Things's special on concussion treatments. My husband and I were fantasizing about ways to kill lice. We imagined a hot cap that was safe for children but too hot for lice. He's a hairstylist and they have warm caps to help set hair dye so, the caps already exist, they just need to be warmer. Then we imagined a vacuum that would suction out the lice and nits. You'd just comb through and part the hair then suction the buggers out. My husband suggested that if we ate certain foods, it may make our blood taste bad to lice and they wouldn't attach to our scalps. Then, of course, is the solution of applying a substance to the scalp that the lice hate (like tea tree) so they would not attach to it. We eventually reached our destination and our conversation headed in a different direction.
That night, I had an idea while I slept. What if we could use a vibration to kill the lice? I shared this idea with my husband at breakfast. I said we could kill lice with a frequency. He was thinking that I meant a colour frequency. That may also be an approach, but I was talking about sound. I looked it up and found research done by Royal Raymon Rife in the 1930s. He was studying bacteria and disease. He found that a diseased cell had a different frequency from a healthy cell. He measured the frequency of diseased cells and found that he could cure just about any illness by changing its frequency or augmenting its frequency until it exploded. Here's the neat thing about it, the frequency would not harm any other cell because they are not vibrating at the same frequency.
Rife created a device to administer the correct frequency for various ailments, including cancer. There is a list of all the wealthy people who tried to buy this technology from Rife. In the end, his research and his inventions were suppressed. There is no money to be made in curing illnesses. Chronic and terminal illnesses generate so much money through pharmaceuticals.
If you visit this website, http://altered-states.net, you will see the frequencies that were documented for each organ in the body. Rife also identified the frequencies of diseases and catalogued them. His electrical devices which tune into the correct frequency and treat the diseased cells are still available for purchase today, long after his death. This is fascinating! I would love to find the lice frequency and treat every child in the school to obliterate those little buggers (the lice) once and for all.
For more information on the use of frequencies to heal the body, go to http://altered-states.net/barry/newsletter420/
Ok. I'm no science geek but, lately, I have found three areas of interest converging in my life.
1) I posted about the innovative treatments for concussions using light, sound, electrical stimulation and movement last week.
2) I also posted about the annoying presence of lice in our schools. After my daughters were contaminated at a sleepover this summer, I went Rambo on the beasties. I still check them every week, much to their chagrin and, as soon as they scratch their head, I am up and over them, scrutinizing their scalps. In short, I think I've lost my mind. They would agree. I hated those lice so much and I never want to go through that experience again.
3) Ever since I met with cancer survivors and interviewed them for the paper, I have been investigating alternative treatments. I watched, The Truth About Cancer and read about the use of marijuana, herbs, teas, energy therapies, oxygen therapy and essential oils.
So, the other day, my husband and I were driving to lunch and he laughed at my obsession with lice. I had recently watched The Nature of Things's special on concussion treatments. My husband and I were fantasizing about ways to kill lice. We imagined a hot cap that was safe for children but too hot for lice. He's a hairstylist and they have warm caps to help set hair dye so, the caps already exist, they just need to be warmer. Then we imagined a vacuum that would suction out the lice and nits. You'd just comb through and part the hair then suction the buggers out. My husband suggested that if we ate certain foods, it may make our blood taste bad to lice and they wouldn't attach to our scalps. Then, of course, is the solution of applying a substance to the scalp that the lice hate (like tea tree) so they would not attach to it. We eventually reached our destination and our conversation headed in a different direction.
That night, I had an idea while I slept. What if we could use a vibration to kill the lice? I shared this idea with my husband at breakfast. I said we could kill lice with a frequency. He was thinking that I meant a colour frequency. That may also be an approach, but I was talking about sound. I looked it up and found research done by Royal Raymon Rife in the 1930s. He was studying bacteria and disease. He found that a diseased cell had a different frequency from a healthy cell. He measured the frequency of diseased cells and found that he could cure just about any illness by changing its frequency or augmenting its frequency until it exploded. Here's the neat thing about it, the frequency would not harm any other cell because they are not vibrating at the same frequency.
Rife created a device to administer the correct frequency for various ailments, including cancer. There is a list of all the wealthy people who tried to buy this technology from Rife. In the end, his research and his inventions were suppressed. There is no money to be made in curing illnesses. Chronic and terminal illnesses generate so much money through pharmaceuticals.
If you visit this website, http://altered-states.net, you will see the frequencies that were documented for each organ in the body. Rife also identified the frequencies of diseases and catalogued them. His electrical devices which tune into the correct frequency and treat the diseased cells are still available for purchase today, long after his death. This is fascinating! I would love to find the lice frequency and treat every child in the school to obliterate those little buggers (the lice) once and for all.
For more information on the use of frequencies to heal the body, go to http://altered-states.net/barry/newsletter420/
Friday, 28 October 2016
The Brain's Way of Healing
October 28th, 2016
Yesterday was a low point for me, dealing with the pain in my brain despite receiving a healing treatment less than two weeks prior. This morning, I received a gift. I saw a post on Facebook about the author of two books on brain health, The Brain that Changes Itself and The Brain's Way of Healing, Norman Doidge. Dr. Doidge and his revolutionary discoveries were the focus of this week's episode of The Nature of Things with David Suzuki.
I was able to watch the episode online and I am still floored by what I have witnessed. The basic message is that our brains are not fixed and permanent the way we've been told. People are diagnosed with illnesses like Parkinson and Autism or they acquire a Traumatic Brain Injury and they spend the rest of their lives a compilation of symptoms. Dr Doidge shows us a different perspective.
Our brains are sophisticated and they respond to stimulation. Neuroplasticity is the concept that our brains change throughout our life and that we can alter our brains via stimulation. In this episode, we explore techniques that are used to help heal the brains of people who thought there was no hope for them.
We meet a gentleman going out for a walk and learn that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson yet his movements seem fluid. He is practising Conscious Walking. His Basal Ganglia are no longer automatically making his movements flow so he has to focus on what he is doing and use his prefrontal cortex to direct every minute aspect of his movement (micro-movements). He walks for 75 minutes every other day. He also is conscious of blinking his eyes and swallowing. The exercise gives him energy and, reduces his symptoms.
Next up are two women who experienced a traumatic brain injury. They decided to explore pottery as a therapeutic activity and called themselves the "Cracked Potters". Each of them survived their accident but were living with many symptoms which greatly reduced their quality of life. We are told that following a brain trauma, some neutrons die and others provide noisy signals therefore the brain is not working properly. A clinic has individuals exercising while they hold a PONS in their mouth. The PONS speaks to the brain through electrical stimulation. The tongue is situated directly in front of the brainstem and is covered with receptors. By stimulating the tongue with the PONS during exercise, the body is able to speak to the brain through our senses. This helps re-synch the brain, awaken dormant circuits and allow the brainstem to communicate normally with the rest of the body. They call this neuro-modulating the noisy brain.
We then get to witness the transformation of children on the Autism Spectrum through sound. We have this ability called the auditory zoom. It helps us cancel out noises and focusing on what we want to hear. When this is impaired, we go into emergency mode and shut down social contact. By introducing sound through the mother's voice, then with Mozart, the children or teenagers are able to learn to focus on sounds which are a precursor to speech. They change the rhythm, frequency and which ear is receiving stimulation. What we see is a boy progressing from tantrums and sensitivity to sound to a regular boy who is socializing. One of the older boys has developed social skills and thought his speech is stunted, he can speak flawlessly when he is imitating someone else. Blew me away!!!
A lady recovering from a brain tumour underwent surgery which saved her life but damaged her brain. She was exposed to light therapy through a low intensity laser. The photons go into the brain and into the body, powering up mitochondria, unblocking inflammation. There was an indication that this might work for people with PTSD as well.
Lastly, a young girl was born with an intellectual deficiency. Using the Feldenkrais Method, she learned to differentiate between movements. She went from having no movement to crawling, walking and ultimately dancing on her wedding day. This technique develops mental awareness of movement and uses touch as well to stimulate the brain.
If this sounds awesome but you think you'll have to move to California, I have good news, many of the cases in this episode were based out of Toronto. I am going to be looking into this. I urge you to do the same.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Yesterday was a low point for me, dealing with the pain in my brain despite receiving a healing treatment less than two weeks prior. This morning, I received a gift. I saw a post on Facebook about the author of two books on brain health, The Brain that Changes Itself and The Brain's Way of Healing, Norman Doidge. Dr. Doidge and his revolutionary discoveries were the focus of this week's episode of The Nature of Things with David Suzuki.
I was able to watch the episode online and I am still floored by what I have witnessed. The basic message is that our brains are not fixed and permanent the way we've been told. People are diagnosed with illnesses like Parkinson and Autism or they acquire a Traumatic Brain Injury and they spend the rest of their lives a compilation of symptoms. Dr Doidge shows us a different perspective.
Our brains are sophisticated and they respond to stimulation. Neuroplasticity is the concept that our brains change throughout our life and that we can alter our brains via stimulation. In this episode, we explore techniques that are used to help heal the brains of people who thought there was no hope for them.
We meet a gentleman going out for a walk and learn that he has been diagnosed with Parkinson yet his movements seem fluid. He is practising Conscious Walking. His Basal Ganglia are no longer automatically making his movements flow so he has to focus on what he is doing and use his prefrontal cortex to direct every minute aspect of his movement (micro-movements). He walks for 75 minutes every other day. He also is conscious of blinking his eyes and swallowing. The exercise gives him energy and, reduces his symptoms.
Next up are two women who experienced a traumatic brain injury. They decided to explore pottery as a therapeutic activity and called themselves the "Cracked Potters". Each of them survived their accident but were living with many symptoms which greatly reduced their quality of life. We are told that following a brain trauma, some neutrons die and others provide noisy signals therefore the brain is not working properly. A clinic has individuals exercising while they hold a PONS in their mouth. The PONS speaks to the brain through electrical stimulation. The tongue is situated directly in front of the brainstem and is covered with receptors. By stimulating the tongue with the PONS during exercise, the body is able to speak to the brain through our senses. This helps re-synch the brain, awaken dormant circuits and allow the brainstem to communicate normally with the rest of the body. They call this neuro-modulating the noisy brain.
We then get to witness the transformation of children on the Autism Spectrum through sound. We have this ability called the auditory zoom. It helps us cancel out noises and focusing on what we want to hear. When this is impaired, we go into emergency mode and shut down social contact. By introducing sound through the mother's voice, then with Mozart, the children or teenagers are able to learn to focus on sounds which are a precursor to speech. They change the rhythm, frequency and which ear is receiving stimulation. What we see is a boy progressing from tantrums and sensitivity to sound to a regular boy who is socializing. One of the older boys has developed social skills and thought his speech is stunted, he can speak flawlessly when he is imitating someone else. Blew me away!!!
A lady recovering from a brain tumour underwent surgery which saved her life but damaged her brain. She was exposed to light therapy through a low intensity laser. The photons go into the brain and into the body, powering up mitochondria, unblocking inflammation. There was an indication that this might work for people with PTSD as well.
Lastly, a young girl was born with an intellectual deficiency. Using the Feldenkrais Method, she learned to differentiate between movements. She went from having no movement to crawling, walking and ultimately dancing on her wedding day. This technique develops mental awareness of movement and uses touch as well to stimulate the brain.
If this sounds awesome but you think you'll have to move to California, I have good news, many of the cases in this episode were based out of Toronto. I am going to be looking into this. I urge you to do the same.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 24 October 2016
Queen Mimi, the Homeless Lady, Documentary
Oct. 24th, 2016
Saturday night, my husband and I decided to watch a movie. We were trying out a new babysitter and were back from supper a bit early. We scanned Netflix, searching for something upbeat and meaningful. We both stopped to consider a documentary about a homeless woman living in Santa Monica, California. That is what we chose to watch.
At first, we see Mimi who has no teeth but is always smiling. She is hunched over, dishevelled and sending kisses to the camera. You can tell she is a character. Vin and I were both reminded of my Grandmother. She was short and spunky like Mimi and, a tad bit flirtatious.
Mimi lives in a laundromat. She was homeless for a long time but, one wet and cold night, she was allowed to stay in the laundromat for shelter and she never left. She slept on a plastic chair at night and helped clients at the laundromat during the day. She even had her own paying clients. She became a celebrity in Santa Monica. Clients looked forward to chatting with Mimi. She liked to go to the bars at night and, since she had her own key to the laundromat, she could party and let herself in at night or in the wee hours of the morning.
The first part of this documentary is all about her being cheeky. We hear from friends and clients who think she's amazing. We learn that the person filming this documentary is a guy who works at a coffee shop across the street. However, as the movie progresses, we realize that nobody really knows much about her. She doesn't share much information about her past. She is a mystery to her coworkers, friends and many admirers.
A few celebrities like Zack Galifianakis (The Hangover) and Renee Zellweger (Bridget Jones Diary) took her out and included her at red carpet events. She had many friends and seemed content. However, the more people talked about her and how much she meant to them, the more you wondered, Why is she still living in a laundromat, sleeping on a plastic chair?
The documentary interviews people who have invited her to stay for a while. You hear about her drinking and her late nights. Some co-workers say Mimi hates homeless people and won't let them into the laundromat, where she once stayed to keep her warm. We witness her getting angry at a client because he moved her basket, it contained her client's order. She definitely has strong opinions.
We then delve into her background, how she ended up on the street and who she left behind. Mimi was married for 29 years. Her husband cheated and she left him. She lost the house and lived in her van until it was taken away from her because she couldn't afford to pay for her licence to be renewed. She ate leftovers thrown into the bin behind local restaurants, she slept in bushes or doorways, she made shoes and blankets out of newspaper. Mimi explains that she had been out of work for years because her husband insisted that she stop working when they got married. She hadn't worked in nearly 30 years and that made it difficult for her to gain employment.
Just when you think you've heard it all, you find out she has two daughters. Your mind is swimming with questions. Where are they? How old would they be? Does Mimi have grandchildren? Do they know she's homeless? How did they get separated? Why didn't they help? It turns out, one of her daughters has passed away. She was looking for her and never found her. The other daughter is found by a friend during the filming of this documentary. They start building a relationship. Mimi meets her grand daughters. Mimi's daughter tells viewers that they were a united family, churchgoers and she didn't know where her mother went. They did look for her. They hoped to be reunited one day. Now, this dream has come true for the one daughter.
Another dream comes true as well. Zack Galifianakis rents an apartment for Mimi just across from the Laundromat. She finally has a bed to sleep in and a home of her own. At the end of the documentary, we see Mimi with Yaniv Rokah, the young man who works at the coffee shop across from the laundromat. He is escorting her to a movie theatre for the premiere of the documentary he has created about her life. Her daughter and granddaughters are there as well. Mimi gets a standing ovation.
I thoroughly enjoyed watching Queen Mimi. This documentary has many layers, like Mimi herself. She is slowly revealed-Bride, Mother, Sunday School teacher, divorced woman, homeless lady, laundromat resident and employee, celebrity and, inspiration.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Saturday night, my husband and I decided to watch a movie. We were trying out a new babysitter and were back from supper a bit early. We scanned Netflix, searching for something upbeat and meaningful. We both stopped to consider a documentary about a homeless woman living in Santa Monica, California. That is what we chose to watch.
At first, we see Mimi who has no teeth but is always smiling. She is hunched over, dishevelled and sending kisses to the camera. You can tell she is a character. Vin and I were both reminded of my Grandmother. She was short and spunky like Mimi and, a tad bit flirtatious.
Mimi lives in a laundromat. She was homeless for a long time but, one wet and cold night, she was allowed to stay in the laundromat for shelter and she never left. She slept on a plastic chair at night and helped clients at the laundromat during the day. She even had her own paying clients. She became a celebrity in Santa Monica. Clients looked forward to chatting with Mimi. She liked to go to the bars at night and, since she had her own key to the laundromat, she could party and let herself in at night or in the wee hours of the morning.
The first part of this documentary is all about her being cheeky. We hear from friends and clients who think she's amazing. We learn that the person filming this documentary is a guy who works at a coffee shop across the street. However, as the movie progresses, we realize that nobody really knows much about her. She doesn't share much information about her past. She is a mystery to her coworkers, friends and many admirers.
A few celebrities like Zack Galifianakis (The Hangover) and Renee Zellweger (Bridget Jones Diary) took her out and included her at red carpet events. She had many friends and seemed content. However, the more people talked about her and how much she meant to them, the more you wondered, Why is she still living in a laundromat, sleeping on a plastic chair?
The documentary interviews people who have invited her to stay for a while. You hear about her drinking and her late nights. Some co-workers say Mimi hates homeless people and won't let them into the laundromat, where she once stayed to keep her warm. We witness her getting angry at a client because he moved her basket, it contained her client's order. She definitely has strong opinions.
We then delve into her background, how she ended up on the street and who she left behind. Mimi was married for 29 years. Her husband cheated and she left him. She lost the house and lived in her van until it was taken away from her because she couldn't afford to pay for her licence to be renewed. She ate leftovers thrown into the bin behind local restaurants, she slept in bushes or doorways, she made shoes and blankets out of newspaper. Mimi explains that she had been out of work for years because her husband insisted that she stop working when they got married. She hadn't worked in nearly 30 years and that made it difficult for her to gain employment.
Just when you think you've heard it all, you find out she has two daughters. Your mind is swimming with questions. Where are they? How old would they be? Does Mimi have grandchildren? Do they know she's homeless? How did they get separated? Why didn't they help? It turns out, one of her daughters has passed away. She was looking for her and never found her. The other daughter is found by a friend during the filming of this documentary. They start building a relationship. Mimi meets her grand daughters. Mimi's daughter tells viewers that they were a united family, churchgoers and she didn't know where her mother went. They did look for her. They hoped to be reunited one day. Now, this dream has come true for the one daughter.
Another dream comes true as well. Zack Galifianakis rents an apartment for Mimi just across from the Laundromat. She finally has a bed to sleep in and a home of her own. At the end of the documentary, we see Mimi with Yaniv Rokah, the young man who works at the coffee shop across from the laundromat. He is escorting her to a movie theatre for the premiere of the documentary he has created about her life. Her daughter and granddaughters are there as well. Mimi gets a standing ovation.
I thoroughly enjoyed watching Queen Mimi. This documentary has many layers, like Mimi herself. She is slowly revealed-Bride, Mother, Sunday School teacher, divorced woman, homeless lady, laundromat resident and employee, celebrity and, inspiration.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
Thai Massage
October 18th, 2016
Have you ever been for a massage? I am a very affectionate person but I don't really like strangers touching my body. I think it was ok prior to having children but, somehow, after having my daughters, I no longer wanted to go out for a massage. It wasn't a treat. I preferred time to myself, to think, to write, to walk around. I craved personal space I guess.
After my first daughter was born, I went to a spa in Stittsville, a gift from my hubby, and a young lady massaged me. I didn't feel a connection to her. It felt awkward like she didn't want to do the work and I couldn't wait for it to be over.
On another occasion, this time after the birth of my second daughter, my husband surprised me with a massage during the girls' nap time. I had my period and I told my husband that I was bleeding profusely and would need to postpone. He had already paid and they were waiting for me. Two women stood over me, one of them massaging me, in a communal, open air room. She was good, some of it was relaxing but every time she lifted and pulled a leg, I could feel the blood oozing, dripping and I worried about what kind of mess awaited me when she was done.
For Father's Day, I booked a Thai Massage for my husband. He has travelled through Thailand and told me about the rigorous massages he received during that trip. One day, we watched Anthony Bourdain, the celebrity chef, receiving a Thai Massage during his travels. It looked like torture to me but my husband was looking on, longingly. I found the best masseuse I could find. He came home with a blissful look on his face. He told me he had booked a home massage for both of us.
I was worried. I don't like pain. I don't want to be twisted and have my limbs bent in unnatural directions. My husband had his 90 minute session first. Then, it was my turn. I must add here that, following our car accident in 2012, I went to visit a massage therapist and she worked me hard. I ended up with a massive headache for two weeks. This experience did nothing to restore my confidence in these health professionals.
She had set up some mats on the floor. I explained that I didn't want a headache and pointed out my vulnerable areas (neck, lower back, right ovary and base of skull). I informed her that, unlike my husband, I didn't like it rough. I actually prefer more of a gentle, soothing approach. She listened to my spiel and assured me that she would start slow and build a sense of safety for me.
She started holding my feet and rocking. She stayed at my feet for a while, working on each foot individually then moving my feet together. She moved up my legs, explaining what she was doing along the way. She used her body with mine to compress and stretch the various parts of my body. Everything was done in a gentle, nurturing way. We communicated throughout. She checked with me to ensure I was not in any pain. Having my body pulled and rocked was very soothing. My favourite parts were when she was supporting areas that are normally quite tense like my lower back and the base of my skull. When she removed the tension from my body, I was able to breathe and just enjoy.
Breathing was an instrumental part of this process. She would ask me to inhale before she compressed my body then exhale as she released it. Being on the floor together means we work as a team. She used her body to help support mine. I thoroughly enjoyed this process. There was no pain and I didn't get a headache. As a matter of fact, she ended with my head, relieving stress, relaxing muscles, supporting its weight.
If you are feeling frail, wanting some TLC and looking for a professional who will tailor her approach to your needs, I would strongly recommend a 90 minute massage with Sarah at Bliss Yoga, http://blissyogaottawa.com. You will feel nurtured and healed.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Have you ever been for a massage? I am a very affectionate person but I don't really like strangers touching my body. I think it was ok prior to having children but, somehow, after having my daughters, I no longer wanted to go out for a massage. It wasn't a treat. I preferred time to myself, to think, to write, to walk around. I craved personal space I guess.
After my first daughter was born, I went to a spa in Stittsville, a gift from my hubby, and a young lady massaged me. I didn't feel a connection to her. It felt awkward like she didn't want to do the work and I couldn't wait for it to be over.
On another occasion, this time after the birth of my second daughter, my husband surprised me with a massage during the girls' nap time. I had my period and I told my husband that I was bleeding profusely and would need to postpone. He had already paid and they were waiting for me. Two women stood over me, one of them massaging me, in a communal, open air room. She was good, some of it was relaxing but every time she lifted and pulled a leg, I could feel the blood oozing, dripping and I worried about what kind of mess awaited me when she was done.
For Father's Day, I booked a Thai Massage for my husband. He has travelled through Thailand and told me about the rigorous massages he received during that trip. One day, we watched Anthony Bourdain, the celebrity chef, receiving a Thai Massage during his travels. It looked like torture to me but my husband was looking on, longingly. I found the best masseuse I could find. He came home with a blissful look on his face. He told me he had booked a home massage for both of us.
I was worried. I don't like pain. I don't want to be twisted and have my limbs bent in unnatural directions. My husband had his 90 minute session first. Then, it was my turn. I must add here that, following our car accident in 2012, I went to visit a massage therapist and she worked me hard. I ended up with a massive headache for two weeks. This experience did nothing to restore my confidence in these health professionals.
She had set up some mats on the floor. I explained that I didn't want a headache and pointed out my vulnerable areas (neck, lower back, right ovary and base of skull). I informed her that, unlike my husband, I didn't like it rough. I actually prefer more of a gentle, soothing approach. She listened to my spiel and assured me that she would start slow and build a sense of safety for me.
She started holding my feet and rocking. She stayed at my feet for a while, working on each foot individually then moving my feet together. She moved up my legs, explaining what she was doing along the way. She used her body with mine to compress and stretch the various parts of my body. Everything was done in a gentle, nurturing way. We communicated throughout. She checked with me to ensure I was not in any pain. Having my body pulled and rocked was very soothing. My favourite parts were when she was supporting areas that are normally quite tense like my lower back and the base of my skull. When she removed the tension from my body, I was able to breathe and just enjoy.
Breathing was an instrumental part of this process. She would ask me to inhale before she compressed my body then exhale as she released it. Being on the floor together means we work as a team. She used her body to help support mine. I thoroughly enjoyed this process. There was no pain and I didn't get a headache. As a matter of fact, she ended with my head, relieving stress, relaxing muscles, supporting its weight.
If you are feeling frail, wanting some TLC and looking for a professional who will tailor her approach to your needs, I would strongly recommend a 90 minute massage with Sarah at Bliss Yoga, http://blissyogaottawa.com. You will feel nurtured and healed.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 5 October 2016
Tony Robbins-I Am Not Your Guru
October 5th, 2016
I was first introduced to Anthony Robbins as a teenager. I don't know how I ended up with his cassette tape, Awaken the Giant Within, but I listened to it over and over again. I had to decide on my Magnificent Obsession and figure out what was keeping me from it. Tony stated that all our behaviours are about avoiding pain or getting pleasure. This was how you understood behaviour. What is the payoff? What am I avoiding?
I have since read some of his books, watched him on You Tube and, recently, I noticed a documentary about Tony on Netflix, I Am Not Your Guru. The documentary is all about his six day Date With Destiny Seminar in Bocca Raton. He offers this seminar every year in different locations and each seat costs just under 5G but the place is packed!
The documentary takes you through each day and you get to witness one or two interventions per day. This is really powerful work. Granted, some parts are a bit flashy, like a Las Vegas show but the people are doing some deep thinking about the life they want to lead. Tony says the goal of this seminar is to teach people "how to re-shape yourself so you can enjoy yourself. To Uncover who you are, reclaim who you are, meant for anyone who is hungry for more".
Day 1 is Preparation Day. He explains that we go through problems in life but they are gifts because problems keep us moving and we are meant to grow. When we stop growing, we are not happy. His aim on day one is to get to the source of problems because when you address the real issue, not the tiny stuff that you use to distract yourself, you can change your whole life in one moment. He asks the audience what is keeping them from reaching their dreams, from achieving their vision.
Day 2 is Evaluation Day. He gets people into teams. They share insights from day one and he has them examine patterns that they are not aware of but seems to be controlling them.
Day 3 is Discovery Day. They show a very poignant intervention with a young lady who was raised in a sect and taught that all she was good for was sex, this was how she served God. Tony obviously feels a connection to this woman. He sees her pain and helps her see that she now has the power to make different choices. He hooks her up with some training and support and has her pick three men in the audience that feel safe to her. They are tasked to check up on her once a month for six months. They created a bond that lasts beyond the seminar.
Day 4 is Relationship Day. Tony addresses the challenge of relationships, where we feel deeply, where we are raw, where we grapple with not being "enough". He says we develop visions for our business but not for our relationship. We need a vision of what we are creating together. He works with a couple who is off balance. The woman is more masculine and the man is more feminine. She wants him to be more masculine. He also desires this but he has had no male role models. He feels lost. Tony works with him and, we are told, they go home and have some pretty wild sex that night.
Day 5 is Transformation Day. Tony starts the day by talking to audience members who have not had one insight since the start of the seminar. He warns them to get out of their heads. The groups create posters with their vision, goals, mission statement and primary question, the question they ask most often that directs their life. He has people imagine their ideal life and describe it.
Day 6 is Integration Day. The groups work on anchoring their vision for their life into their nervous system. They jump, attach this vision to each sense and proclaim their intention at the top of their voice. Tony asks them to think of early memories and figure out what stories they created from these experiences, the meaning that was assigned to them. He takes them through a visualization exercise. They each recall three times in their life for which they feel gratitude. Again, he attaches these memories to the five senses. He then has participants stand, stretch and make their joyful sound.
You can tell that these people are feeling energetic, re-born and changed from this experience. As the crew follow Tony from Day 1 to Day 6, you can see that he is very focused and disciplined and that he is energized by his work. His wife is also very compassionate. She stands with him at the end of the seminar and she is seen hugging and interacting with people throughout the seminar. Tony's last directive to his devoted fans is "Leave the past behind and go make your life a masterpiece".
Very inspirational work!!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I was first introduced to Anthony Robbins as a teenager. I don't know how I ended up with his cassette tape, Awaken the Giant Within, but I listened to it over and over again. I had to decide on my Magnificent Obsession and figure out what was keeping me from it. Tony stated that all our behaviours are about avoiding pain or getting pleasure. This was how you understood behaviour. What is the payoff? What am I avoiding?
I have since read some of his books, watched him on You Tube and, recently, I noticed a documentary about Tony on Netflix, I Am Not Your Guru. The documentary is all about his six day Date With Destiny Seminar in Bocca Raton. He offers this seminar every year in different locations and each seat costs just under 5G but the place is packed!
The documentary takes you through each day and you get to witness one or two interventions per day. This is really powerful work. Granted, some parts are a bit flashy, like a Las Vegas show but the people are doing some deep thinking about the life they want to lead. Tony says the goal of this seminar is to teach people "how to re-shape yourself so you can enjoy yourself. To Uncover who you are, reclaim who you are, meant for anyone who is hungry for more".
Day 1 is Preparation Day. He explains that we go through problems in life but they are gifts because problems keep us moving and we are meant to grow. When we stop growing, we are not happy. His aim on day one is to get to the source of problems because when you address the real issue, not the tiny stuff that you use to distract yourself, you can change your whole life in one moment. He asks the audience what is keeping them from reaching their dreams, from achieving their vision.
Day 2 is Evaluation Day. He gets people into teams. They share insights from day one and he has them examine patterns that they are not aware of but seems to be controlling them.
Day 3 is Discovery Day. They show a very poignant intervention with a young lady who was raised in a sect and taught that all she was good for was sex, this was how she served God. Tony obviously feels a connection to this woman. He sees her pain and helps her see that she now has the power to make different choices. He hooks her up with some training and support and has her pick three men in the audience that feel safe to her. They are tasked to check up on her once a month for six months. They created a bond that lasts beyond the seminar.
Day 4 is Relationship Day. Tony addresses the challenge of relationships, where we feel deeply, where we are raw, where we grapple with not being "enough". He says we develop visions for our business but not for our relationship. We need a vision of what we are creating together. He works with a couple who is off balance. The woman is more masculine and the man is more feminine. She wants him to be more masculine. He also desires this but he has had no male role models. He feels lost. Tony works with him and, we are told, they go home and have some pretty wild sex that night.
Day 5 is Transformation Day. Tony starts the day by talking to audience members who have not had one insight since the start of the seminar. He warns them to get out of their heads. The groups create posters with their vision, goals, mission statement and primary question, the question they ask most often that directs their life. He has people imagine their ideal life and describe it.
Day 6 is Integration Day. The groups work on anchoring their vision for their life into their nervous system. They jump, attach this vision to each sense and proclaim their intention at the top of their voice. Tony asks them to think of early memories and figure out what stories they created from these experiences, the meaning that was assigned to them. He takes them through a visualization exercise. They each recall three times in their life for which they feel gratitude. Again, he attaches these memories to the five senses. He then has participants stand, stretch and make their joyful sound.
You can tell that these people are feeling energetic, re-born and changed from this experience. As the crew follow Tony from Day 1 to Day 6, you can see that he is very focused and disciplined and that he is energized by his work. His wife is also very compassionate. She stands with him at the end of the seminar and she is seen hugging and interacting with people throughout the seminar. Tony's last directive to his devoted fans is "Leave the past behind and go make your life a masterpiece".
Very inspirational work!!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 3 October 2016
Book of the Week-Love Warrior
October 3rd, 2016
My mother and I met at Bayshore last Thursday. She told me she was done reading this book so I could have it. I was in the middle of another book but she said there was no rush, "Just take the book and read it when you have time". I was intrigued by this book. I started reading it that very afternoon.
What a roller coaster ride! I couldn't put it down. It is a memoir, the real story of Glennon who has a perfect childhood and finds herself disconnecting from her body at the age of ten. She numbs herself with food and develops an eating disorder. She numbs herself with alcohol and later drugs. She also has sex without any connection to her body or the people who are using it.
No one is able to reach her and help her until she gets pregnant. This is a turning point for her. She never loved herself enough to take care of herself but she can stop drinking and drugging in order to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Her boyfriend marries her. They have a few decent years in the cocoon of their family. Then, they grow apart as they each pull away from the other. When she finds out that her husband has betrayed her, Glennon must decide whether she will ever trust him again and if she even wants to try.
As Glennon and her husband work on their relationship, we learn a great deal about what it means to be authentic, to be real with one another. Glenn takes us along on her exploration of who she is and her discovery of what it means to be someone's intimate partner. She learns to love and accept herself and shed her masks. She connects with her body and discovers intimacy.
This is a truly brave, raw, honest look at her relationship with her Self, her Source, her children and her husband. It is inspiring because what she learns is something we can all apply to our lives and relationships. Here is what I have learned from Glennon:
1-Breathe and pay attention to the still voice inside you
2-You are loved and perfect as you are, nothing you can do will make you more loveable or less loveable
3-When you enter a relationship, both of you are loved and perfect, you can help each other grow by communicating honestly with each other and being present to one another
4-You need to identify your needs, respect them, take care of yourself and, ask your partner for what you need from him/her
5-You can be real and leave your representative (fake self behind)
6-You are a soul, a mind and a body, embrace all three aspects of yourself
7-When something happens to someone, the best thing you can do is acknowledge their pain and offer to be present (not fix or compare to someone else's story)
8-Be prepared to fully live this life, this means you will experience pain at times but you are a Warrior and you will survive it
9-Teach your children that they are loved and perfect as they are, show them how to express love in the world
10-We all suffer, don't pretend with others, be real and they can be real with you, no need to be lonely, reach out and tell the truth
This is one of those books that I inhaled. I will need to go over it again, slowly, because there is so much to learn from it. I feel inspired! If you are looking for a life-changing book, read this one.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
My mother and I met at Bayshore last Thursday. She told me she was done reading this book so I could have it. I was in the middle of another book but she said there was no rush, "Just take the book and read it when you have time". I was intrigued by this book. I started reading it that very afternoon.
What a roller coaster ride! I couldn't put it down. It is a memoir, the real story of Glennon who has a perfect childhood and finds herself disconnecting from her body at the age of ten. She numbs herself with food and develops an eating disorder. She numbs herself with alcohol and later drugs. She also has sex without any connection to her body or the people who are using it.
No one is able to reach her and help her until she gets pregnant. This is a turning point for her. She never loved herself enough to take care of herself but she can stop drinking and drugging in order to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Her boyfriend marries her. They have a few decent years in the cocoon of their family. Then, they grow apart as they each pull away from the other. When she finds out that her husband has betrayed her, Glennon must decide whether she will ever trust him again and if she even wants to try.
As Glennon and her husband work on their relationship, we learn a great deal about what it means to be authentic, to be real with one another. Glenn takes us along on her exploration of who she is and her discovery of what it means to be someone's intimate partner. She learns to love and accept herself and shed her masks. She connects with her body and discovers intimacy.
This is a truly brave, raw, honest look at her relationship with her Self, her Source, her children and her husband. It is inspiring because what she learns is something we can all apply to our lives and relationships. Here is what I have learned from Glennon:
1-Breathe and pay attention to the still voice inside you
2-You are loved and perfect as you are, nothing you can do will make you more loveable or less loveable
3-When you enter a relationship, both of you are loved and perfect, you can help each other grow by communicating honestly with each other and being present to one another
4-You need to identify your needs, respect them, take care of yourself and, ask your partner for what you need from him/her
5-You can be real and leave your representative (fake self behind)
6-You are a soul, a mind and a body, embrace all three aspects of yourself
7-When something happens to someone, the best thing you can do is acknowledge their pain and offer to be present (not fix or compare to someone else's story)
8-Be prepared to fully live this life, this means you will experience pain at times but you are a Warrior and you will survive it
9-Teach your children that they are loved and perfect as they are, show them how to express love in the world
10-We all suffer, don't pretend with others, be real and they can be real with you, no need to be lonely, reach out and tell the truth
This is one of those books that I inhaled. I will need to go over it again, slowly, because there is so much to learn from it. I feel inspired! If you are looking for a life-changing book, read this one.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 29 September 2016
Smudging
September 29th, 2016
I am curious. I like learning about different schools of thought whether I'm studying psychology, religion, nutrition or healing practices. I believe that we are more than just our bodies and that our emotions are energy. I can see how getting stuck in difficult emotions like anger, frustration, rage, helplessness, sadness, loneliness etc can create energy blockages in our physical bodies. We all sense the energy of people as we approach them. We are drawn to certain people while others make us feel unsettled or unsafe.
I have been reading about the tradition of Smudging. The basic idea is that herbs are burnt and their smoke is used to cleanse people, spaces or tools. It can also be used to communicate with spirits or to heal a body. I had only ever heard of sage being used to repel negative energies from homes after an illness, a death or an argument. However, I discovered that other herbs such as tobacco, cedar, lavender and sweet grass can also be used.
From http://powwow-power.com/smudging/, I learned that feathers are used to dispense the smoke because birds are seen as being closer to the Creator therefore their feathers help bring our smoke up to the heavens. The same site talks about the use of smudge sticks as well as dried herbs in bowls. I prefer the idea of a smudge stick, you light the end and move it around the room or person. It seems more solid, easier to control and direct so the smoke goes where you want.
This article by the Aboriginal Mutli-Media Society, http://www.ammsa.com/node/12407, explains that women who have their period cannot pick the herbs for ceremonies or participate in ceremonies. It also informs the reader that you should not buy the herbs for the ceremony. You are supposed to pick it or trade for it with someone else. You can each buy the herbs you need but use the other person's herbs while s/he uses yours.
I like the thought of using herbs to say thank you. Tobacco is often offered to the Creator as a thank you or to the leader of a ceremony in respect and gratitude. Each herb has a specific purpose.
On http://www.dancingtoeaglespiritsociety.org/medicines.php, we learn about the specific properties and uses of four herbs.
Tobacco is said to be the most sacred of herbs and it is used to communicate with spirits. You must start with a positive intention and communicate this intention as you offer your tobacco to an elder or burn it and send its smoke up to the Creator.
Sweet Grass is a feminine herb, often braided, and used to bring calm, heal and purify. The website says each strand of the braid represents a different aspect of Mother Earth, love, kindness and honesty.
Sage is stronger and I learned that there is male and female sage. It is more of a medicine. This is the herb I heard most about for its abilities to release negative energy from people and places. You can drink sage tea to reap its healing properties.
Cedar is a disinfectant, a protector. You can drink it in a tea to heal your body of infection.
I checked out the benefits of sage tea on the following website, http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-sage.html.
Sage is used to treat sore throats and coughs, perfect timing as I have had a cough for a few days. It can help curb the flow of menstrual bleeding or decrease perspiration. It has been used to treat asthma and gum infections.
Cedar tea is used to prevent and stop colds and flus. This site, http://makwa-mikepatterson.blogspot.ca/2009/11/tips-on-flu-and-cedar-tea.html, claims that Elders keep a pot of cedar tea at hand all Winter. As I was reading about cedar, I learned that its oil can be used as an insecticide. I wonder if it would work in the treatment of head lice.??? So many cases in schools right now. Worth a try.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I am curious. I like learning about different schools of thought whether I'm studying psychology, religion, nutrition or healing practices. I believe that we are more than just our bodies and that our emotions are energy. I can see how getting stuck in difficult emotions like anger, frustration, rage, helplessness, sadness, loneliness etc can create energy blockages in our physical bodies. We all sense the energy of people as we approach them. We are drawn to certain people while others make us feel unsettled or unsafe.
I have been reading about the tradition of Smudging. The basic idea is that herbs are burnt and their smoke is used to cleanse people, spaces or tools. It can also be used to communicate with spirits or to heal a body. I had only ever heard of sage being used to repel negative energies from homes after an illness, a death or an argument. However, I discovered that other herbs such as tobacco, cedar, lavender and sweet grass can also be used.
From http://powwow-power.com/smudging/, I learned that feathers are used to dispense the smoke because birds are seen as being closer to the Creator therefore their feathers help bring our smoke up to the heavens. The same site talks about the use of smudge sticks as well as dried herbs in bowls. I prefer the idea of a smudge stick, you light the end and move it around the room or person. It seems more solid, easier to control and direct so the smoke goes where you want.
This article by the Aboriginal Mutli-Media Society, http://www.ammsa.com/node/12407, explains that women who have their period cannot pick the herbs for ceremonies or participate in ceremonies. It also informs the reader that you should not buy the herbs for the ceremony. You are supposed to pick it or trade for it with someone else. You can each buy the herbs you need but use the other person's herbs while s/he uses yours.
I like the thought of using herbs to say thank you. Tobacco is often offered to the Creator as a thank you or to the leader of a ceremony in respect and gratitude. Each herb has a specific purpose.
On http://www.dancingtoeaglespiritsociety.org/medicines.php, we learn about the specific properties and uses of four herbs.
Tobacco is said to be the most sacred of herbs and it is used to communicate with spirits. You must start with a positive intention and communicate this intention as you offer your tobacco to an elder or burn it and send its smoke up to the Creator.
Sweet Grass is a feminine herb, often braided, and used to bring calm, heal and purify. The website says each strand of the braid represents a different aspect of Mother Earth, love, kindness and honesty.
Sage is stronger and I learned that there is male and female sage. It is more of a medicine. This is the herb I heard most about for its abilities to release negative energy from people and places. You can drink sage tea to reap its healing properties.
Cedar is a disinfectant, a protector. You can drink it in a tea to heal your body of infection.
I checked out the benefits of sage tea on the following website, http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-sage.html.
Sage is used to treat sore throats and coughs, perfect timing as I have had a cough for a few days. It can help curb the flow of menstrual bleeding or decrease perspiration. It has been used to treat asthma and gum infections.
Cedar tea is used to prevent and stop colds and flus. This site, http://makwa-mikepatterson.blogspot.ca/2009/11/tips-on-flu-and-cedar-tea.html, claims that Elders keep a pot of cedar tea at hand all Winter. As I was reading about cedar, I learned that its oil can be used as an insecticide. I wonder if it would work in the treatment of head lice.??? So many cases in schools right now. Worth a try.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 22 September 2016
Surviving cancer
September 22nd, 2016
A few years ago, I interviewed women who had battled cancer. Each woman was diagnosed with a different cancer and they were all survivors. I decided to write about them to inspire women or men undergoing treatment. My message was, "You can beat this"!
A few months ago, I was thinking about these five strong women and it occurred to me that only two remained. I think two of them are still alive. I have lost touch with them and, honestly, I don't have the heart to look for them in case, they too, have passed.
Today, at Walmart, I ran into the husband of one of the ladies who did not survive. We talked about her, the second diagnosis (the cancer moved to a new location and spread), what the last week of her life was like and, what he was now doing with his life. We each continued our shopping after over an hour of chatting and I bumped into a man who came to the house to help me put up the pool in the Spring. His wife is currently in treatment for cancer. She has completed her radiation treatment but still has a month of chemotherapy before she can ring that bell.
They had been at the hospital earlier that day and she spoke about her treatment in a matter-of-fact tone, clearly used to the processes, explaining the machines and technicalities. This man clearly loves his wife. I pray that she survives and they live to tell the next generation all about it and inspire others.
I couldn't help but wonder, why do some people survive while others do not? You read about "cures" like oxygen therapy, an alkaline diet, the powers of turmeric and other superfoods, the power of cannabis oil is on Facebook every day but people are still dying. It is all so confusing. I read a beautiful book by Bernie Siegel, The Art of Healing, a few years ago because I am an art therapist and he offers art groups for his patients. He talks about the power of symbols in drawings and states that he can tell how patients perceive their cancer and the recommended treatment by what they draw. Drawings can also give a physician additional information about the affected organ, something patients know without it being part of their conscious wisdom.
Dr. Siegel's prescriptions are out of the ordinary. They include art and self expression, interpreting dreams, being in the present, laughing, hanging out with animals and staying positive (words, thoughts, beliefs). He believes that illness often comes from a place of trauma, where the feelings are stuck because they have never been expressed. Dr. Siegel predicts which patients will have a better survival rate on his website www.berniesiegelmd.com, here is a glimpse:
"When people have a sense of meaning in their life, express anger and emotions appropriately in defence of themselves, ask for help from family and friends, participate in their health care decisions, say no to what they choose not to do, find time to do what they enjoy and to play, use their feelings to help them to heal their lives and do not live a role but an authentic life, they will always do better than expected". He also mentions the importance of NOT interpreting their illness as a punishment from GOD.
If you are diagnosed with a cancer, get a journal and some colouring pencils then read through one of Dr. Siegel's books. His exercises are meant to get you thinking about your life and listening to your emotions. The art can help you release painful emotions. Join a group to reduce isolation and focus on what you enjoy. There is no room for negative people in your life. Live fully in the moment, as your authentic self and laugh often. Dealing with a life-threatening illness can result in feeling powerless. These are all things you can do to help heal your life.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
A few years ago, I interviewed women who had battled cancer. Each woman was diagnosed with a different cancer and they were all survivors. I decided to write about them to inspire women or men undergoing treatment. My message was, "You can beat this"!
A few months ago, I was thinking about these five strong women and it occurred to me that only two remained. I think two of them are still alive. I have lost touch with them and, honestly, I don't have the heart to look for them in case, they too, have passed.
Today, at Walmart, I ran into the husband of one of the ladies who did not survive. We talked about her, the second diagnosis (the cancer moved to a new location and spread), what the last week of her life was like and, what he was now doing with his life. We each continued our shopping after over an hour of chatting and I bumped into a man who came to the house to help me put up the pool in the Spring. His wife is currently in treatment for cancer. She has completed her radiation treatment but still has a month of chemotherapy before she can ring that bell.
They had been at the hospital earlier that day and she spoke about her treatment in a matter-of-fact tone, clearly used to the processes, explaining the machines and technicalities. This man clearly loves his wife. I pray that she survives and they live to tell the next generation all about it and inspire others.
I couldn't help but wonder, why do some people survive while others do not? You read about "cures" like oxygen therapy, an alkaline diet, the powers of turmeric and other superfoods, the power of cannabis oil is on Facebook every day but people are still dying. It is all so confusing. I read a beautiful book by Bernie Siegel, The Art of Healing, a few years ago because I am an art therapist and he offers art groups for his patients. He talks about the power of symbols in drawings and states that he can tell how patients perceive their cancer and the recommended treatment by what they draw. Drawings can also give a physician additional information about the affected organ, something patients know without it being part of their conscious wisdom.
Dr. Siegel's prescriptions are out of the ordinary. They include art and self expression, interpreting dreams, being in the present, laughing, hanging out with animals and staying positive (words, thoughts, beliefs). He believes that illness often comes from a place of trauma, where the feelings are stuck because they have never been expressed. Dr. Siegel predicts which patients will have a better survival rate on his website www.berniesiegelmd.com, here is a glimpse:
"When people have a sense of meaning in their life, express anger and emotions appropriately in defence of themselves, ask for help from family and friends, participate in their health care decisions, say no to what they choose not to do, find time to do what they enjoy and to play, use their feelings to help them to heal their lives and do not live a role but an authentic life, they will always do better than expected". He also mentions the importance of NOT interpreting their illness as a punishment from GOD.
If you are diagnosed with a cancer, get a journal and some colouring pencils then read through one of Dr. Siegel's books. His exercises are meant to get you thinking about your life and listening to your emotions. The art can help you release painful emotions. Join a group to reduce isolation and focus on what you enjoy. There is no room for negative people in your life. Live fully in the moment, as your authentic self and laugh often. Dealing with a life-threatening illness can result in feeling powerless. These are all things you can do to help heal your life.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 11 July 2016
Pruning-A Life Strategy
July 11th, 2016
Today, I was tending the garden. I noticed that many of the flowers on our hanging plants were drying up from the intense sunlight. I started plucking the dried out flowers to make room for new growth. There are loads of buds ready to bloom. Our flowers will look amazing by the end of the week. I was never good with flowers in the past. I gave them too much water and never pruned them. I feared that I would remove too much and kill the plant. The earth would get mouldy and no new flowers would grow because the entire plant was packed with dead flowers. My husband showed me how to prune plants and flowers the first year we lived at this home. His grandmother had taught him the art of pruning in her rose garden in England.
As I pruned today, I thought about the parallels between my gardening style and my habits. I hang on to stuff way too long. I have a lot of clothing that I wore when I was a teenager. I no longer have the body of a teenager but I am attached to the clothing. Each dress has a story, a fun memory associated with it. I hold onto books and paperwork-scraps of paper with notes, insights from experiences or books and, awesome quotes.
I was thinking about the importance of pruning in life in general. At any given time, we can pretty much fill a few boxes with items we have outgrown or simply haven't used recently. Having a cluttered home feels heavy and drains our energy.
There are people in our lives who no longer belong there. You may need to let go of a spouse, a friend, a colleague or a relative. It can be painful to end a relationship even if it's long overdue. You are inflicting pain on another person and, a break-up entails conflict which can feel scary and uncomfortable. If that person is part of a group of friends, you may also fear the backlash from other members of that group as a result of your pruning.
I often meet people who need to change careers. They have been in the same job for ten years, they used to love it but they no longer care about it, they resent it and feel run down every day when they have to go to work.
Like me, you may need to prune your closet and keep only the clothing that still represents who you are then donate the rest.
Activities can also be pruned. Look at your schedule and put an "x" on all the items in your calendar that don't need to be there. We tend to fill our schedules and we rarely have time to assess these activities later on to see if they are still meaningful to us.
Life is meant to be savoured. How much of your life do you love? I remember when owning and pruning Bonzai trees were a trend. You had to know what to cut out and what to leave in. Our lives are like that. Sometimes we need to stop and examine our lives. We can prune away the items that are weighing us down and the people who are draining our energy. By paying attention to how much time we devote to activities we no longer enjoy compared to what lights us up, we can see what needs to go. Pruning our lives, like Bonzai trees, is an art. We need to know what fills us up and what empties us and act accordingly.
If you're curious, grab a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Write a heading for each column; Fills Me, Empties Me. Then, list all the people and activities that fit into each column. You may be surprised by how uneven your columns are or by who and what ends up where. Happy pruning!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today, I was tending the garden. I noticed that many of the flowers on our hanging plants were drying up from the intense sunlight. I started plucking the dried out flowers to make room for new growth. There are loads of buds ready to bloom. Our flowers will look amazing by the end of the week. I was never good with flowers in the past. I gave them too much water and never pruned them. I feared that I would remove too much and kill the plant. The earth would get mouldy and no new flowers would grow because the entire plant was packed with dead flowers. My husband showed me how to prune plants and flowers the first year we lived at this home. His grandmother had taught him the art of pruning in her rose garden in England.
As I pruned today, I thought about the parallels between my gardening style and my habits. I hang on to stuff way too long. I have a lot of clothing that I wore when I was a teenager. I no longer have the body of a teenager but I am attached to the clothing. Each dress has a story, a fun memory associated with it. I hold onto books and paperwork-scraps of paper with notes, insights from experiences or books and, awesome quotes.
I was thinking about the importance of pruning in life in general. At any given time, we can pretty much fill a few boxes with items we have outgrown or simply haven't used recently. Having a cluttered home feels heavy and drains our energy.
There are people in our lives who no longer belong there. You may need to let go of a spouse, a friend, a colleague or a relative. It can be painful to end a relationship even if it's long overdue. You are inflicting pain on another person and, a break-up entails conflict which can feel scary and uncomfortable. If that person is part of a group of friends, you may also fear the backlash from other members of that group as a result of your pruning.
I often meet people who need to change careers. They have been in the same job for ten years, they used to love it but they no longer care about it, they resent it and feel run down every day when they have to go to work.
Like me, you may need to prune your closet and keep only the clothing that still represents who you are then donate the rest.
Activities can also be pruned. Look at your schedule and put an "x" on all the items in your calendar that don't need to be there. We tend to fill our schedules and we rarely have time to assess these activities later on to see if they are still meaningful to us.
Life is meant to be savoured. How much of your life do you love? I remember when owning and pruning Bonzai trees were a trend. You had to know what to cut out and what to leave in. Our lives are like that. Sometimes we need to stop and examine our lives. We can prune away the items that are weighing us down and the people who are draining our energy. By paying attention to how much time we devote to activities we no longer enjoy compared to what lights us up, we can see what needs to go. Pruning our lives, like Bonzai trees, is an art. We need to know what fills us up and what empties us and act accordingly.
If you're curious, grab a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Write a heading for each column; Fills Me, Empties Me. Then, list all the people and activities that fit into each column. You may be surprised by how uneven your columns are or by who and what ends up where. Happy pruning!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 8 July 2016
Book of the Week-Deliberate Receiving
July 8th, 2016
This week's book caught my eye at Chapter's. The author, Melody Fletcher, uses plain language and you can sense her quirkiness from the very first page. I felt that her book would be interesting and entertaining so I bought it.
The premise of the book is that you can basically create your reality and it very closely resembles The Secret. She instructs readers to figure out what they really want and focus on it. The twist is that she believes that we need to figure out the emotion tied to the experience we desire. For each of us, an experience will bring on an emotion. This has a vibration. If we can tap into that emotion, we can start attracting the experience.
Melody explains that we all start off on a spectrum of emotion and, if what we are trying to manifest doesn't vibrate at the same frequency as our current emotion, it won't be a match. She takes the reader through a series of emotional stages. You identify where you are on the spectrum then progressively raise your vibration by connecting with that emotion. Acknowledging your emotion and releasing it moves you up the spectrum until you reach the emotion that matches your experience.
The book warns us not to sabotage our manifesting through letting our beliefs limit what we think is possible for us or focusing on what we dot want or reacting negatively when we receive what we requested because it comes in a different form than we expected.
I recognized that I was in the frustration stage. My belief is that if I work hard, I will be rewarded and successful. When this doesn't happen I feel frustrated. When someone is in the frustration phase, they take action thinking it will speed things up, they get pushy and impatient. I am definitely in this phase. The encouraging thing is that the next phase after frustration is hope so I am basically on the threshold. I wrote down her advice for this phase which is to stop trying to control this by forcing it to happen, focus on what I want and align my energy to the emotion of this desire then let synchronicity show me the next step. When I fall out of this energy and I start to doubt that manifesting is possible, I can ask myself; "What if this does happen?" Asking this question quickly gets you excited and thinking positively.
The very day that I read this, I learned a lesson about frustration through my daughters. They are home for the summer. My intention is to have fun with them, to create memories over the summer and feel connected to them. I had planned to take them to a movie ten minutes away from our home. They have movies for $5 at the municipal centre over the summer and I like to take advantage of this every year. This week's movie was The Little Prince. I saw the previews and thought it would be a great movie. Within ten minutes, the girls were saying they didn't like the movie and wanted to leave. I was really enjoying it. I asked them to give it a try. They were squirming, whispering complaints to each other and looking over at me, waiting for the signal that they could stand up and leave. I was feeling very frustrated. I had just paid for this movie and, not only were they not giving it a chance, I wasn't going to get to see it. We left. I took them out to get groceries. They complained that the store's air conditioning was too cold. I consulted my grocery list and rushed around to get ingredients for supper. They saw a cosmetics counter and started looking through the eye liner and lipstick. I told them I was done with my groceries. They weren't cold anymore, they wanted to linger and explore the cosmetics. I took them home.
As I prepared lunch, I thought about my morning and how different my vibration was from what I had intended. I realized that I was experiencing a parallel in my personal and business life. I felt frustrated by my daughters' lack of compliance with what I had envisioned. I wanted to bond with them and have fun. To me, that meant going to the movies. I was controlling the experience. I decided to just focus on what I wanted for the rest of the day. They were playing together so I focused on de-cluttering closets in the house. I have been wanting to do this for some time but I was always playing with the girls. I got a bunch of de-cluttering done, they played together and then they initiated play with me. They wanted to become mermaids and we dressed up and pretended to be mermaids. We had a great time, they led me through it and I was able to achieve the experience I was seeking. My eldest later sang songs for me and impressed me with her beautiful voice. Then my youngest sat on my lap while I read the pile of books she selected.
I learned my lesson. I get clear about what I want, I figure out the feeling that this experience would grant me and I tune in to my emotions. The better I feel, the closer I am to manifesting. Challenging emotions are a message that I am not moving in the right direction. This book was entertaining at first then I felt overwhelmed and confused. Chapter 11, the one that teaches you to move up the spectrum, was the most interesting part of the book and where I learned the most.
I will continue to apply its principles and see where it leads.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
This week's book caught my eye at Chapter's. The author, Melody Fletcher, uses plain language and you can sense her quirkiness from the very first page. I felt that her book would be interesting and entertaining so I bought it.
The premise of the book is that you can basically create your reality and it very closely resembles The Secret. She instructs readers to figure out what they really want and focus on it. The twist is that she believes that we need to figure out the emotion tied to the experience we desire. For each of us, an experience will bring on an emotion. This has a vibration. If we can tap into that emotion, we can start attracting the experience.
Melody explains that we all start off on a spectrum of emotion and, if what we are trying to manifest doesn't vibrate at the same frequency as our current emotion, it won't be a match. She takes the reader through a series of emotional stages. You identify where you are on the spectrum then progressively raise your vibration by connecting with that emotion. Acknowledging your emotion and releasing it moves you up the spectrum until you reach the emotion that matches your experience.
The book warns us not to sabotage our manifesting through letting our beliefs limit what we think is possible for us or focusing on what we dot want or reacting negatively when we receive what we requested because it comes in a different form than we expected.
I recognized that I was in the frustration stage. My belief is that if I work hard, I will be rewarded and successful. When this doesn't happen I feel frustrated. When someone is in the frustration phase, they take action thinking it will speed things up, they get pushy and impatient. I am definitely in this phase. The encouraging thing is that the next phase after frustration is hope so I am basically on the threshold. I wrote down her advice for this phase which is to stop trying to control this by forcing it to happen, focus on what I want and align my energy to the emotion of this desire then let synchronicity show me the next step. When I fall out of this energy and I start to doubt that manifesting is possible, I can ask myself; "What if this does happen?" Asking this question quickly gets you excited and thinking positively.
The very day that I read this, I learned a lesson about frustration through my daughters. They are home for the summer. My intention is to have fun with them, to create memories over the summer and feel connected to them. I had planned to take them to a movie ten minutes away from our home. They have movies for $5 at the municipal centre over the summer and I like to take advantage of this every year. This week's movie was The Little Prince. I saw the previews and thought it would be a great movie. Within ten minutes, the girls were saying they didn't like the movie and wanted to leave. I was really enjoying it. I asked them to give it a try. They were squirming, whispering complaints to each other and looking over at me, waiting for the signal that they could stand up and leave. I was feeling very frustrated. I had just paid for this movie and, not only were they not giving it a chance, I wasn't going to get to see it. We left. I took them out to get groceries. They complained that the store's air conditioning was too cold. I consulted my grocery list and rushed around to get ingredients for supper. They saw a cosmetics counter and started looking through the eye liner and lipstick. I told them I was done with my groceries. They weren't cold anymore, they wanted to linger and explore the cosmetics. I took them home.
As I prepared lunch, I thought about my morning and how different my vibration was from what I had intended. I realized that I was experiencing a parallel in my personal and business life. I felt frustrated by my daughters' lack of compliance with what I had envisioned. I wanted to bond with them and have fun. To me, that meant going to the movies. I was controlling the experience. I decided to just focus on what I wanted for the rest of the day. They were playing together so I focused on de-cluttering closets in the house. I have been wanting to do this for some time but I was always playing with the girls. I got a bunch of de-cluttering done, they played together and then they initiated play with me. They wanted to become mermaids and we dressed up and pretended to be mermaids. We had a great time, they led me through it and I was able to achieve the experience I was seeking. My eldest later sang songs for me and impressed me with her beautiful voice. Then my youngest sat on my lap while I read the pile of books she selected.
I learned my lesson. I get clear about what I want, I figure out the feeling that this experience would grant me and I tune in to my emotions. The better I feel, the closer I am to manifesting. Challenging emotions are a message that I am not moving in the right direction. This book was entertaining at first then I felt overwhelmed and confused. Chapter 11, the one that teaches you to move up the spectrum, was the most interesting part of the book and where I learned the most.
I will continue to apply its principles and see where it leads.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 6 July 2016
Dreams
June 6th, 2016
Every night, people all over the world go to sleep. Sleep is meant to help our bodies rest and our brains process the experiences and data we were exposed to each day. For some, sleep is difficult. They try to fall asleep but their mind is too active, they are unable to settle. For others, falling asleep happens easily but they are unable to stay asleep. They may wake up during the night and feel fully awake.
People who have experienced trauma often struggle with sleep. Night time is when they are faced with their worst memories and they do not feel safe. The flashbacks create anticipatory anxiety in the evening as they prepare for bed. Parents often become sleep deprived when their infants wake up often throughout the night. Sleep deprivation is linked to a variety of symptoms from poor concentration and irritability to hallucinations.
Some people don't remember their dreams. This is a shame because our dreams have important messages for us. There are entire dictionaries devoted to dream analysis. Dreamers are encouraged to perceive every character in their dream as an aspect of themselves. What is important is the emotion that is experiences during the dream. Therefore, if the dreamer feels afraid of a character, the question to ask is "What aspect of yourself are you afraid to express?".
Symbolism plays a huge role in dream interpretation. This is similar to my work as an art therapist. Clients can have strong emotional reactions to imagery in their art. Anything is possible in both art and dreams. When you are faced with a challenging situation, it is helpful to write about it before going to bed and asking for an answer to present itself. You can wake up with a solution the next morning as your mind has had the time to work on it overnight.
Dream analysis was an important tool psychoanalysis. It is still a valuable self-help tool. All you need to do is keep a pen and notebook next to your bed. Relax before bed and be clear about your intention to remember your dream. You can even ask a question in your notebook before you go to sleep. As soon as you wake up, write anything you remember in your notebook including storyline, characters, emotions and setting. Are you always in the same environment? Is there a recurring theme? You may recognize loved ones in your dreams and think this is about your relationship with them. However, ask yourself what that loved one represents to you and what emotions your dream interaction triggers in you. This may help you understand your feelings about a suppressed aspect of yourself. The longer you pay attention to your dreams, the more information will be packed into your dreams. If you are willing to document your dreams and do some soul searching, you may be surprised by how valuable this experience can be on your journey into personal growth.
Sweet dreams!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Every night, people all over the world go to sleep. Sleep is meant to help our bodies rest and our brains process the experiences and data we were exposed to each day. For some, sleep is difficult. They try to fall asleep but their mind is too active, they are unable to settle. For others, falling asleep happens easily but they are unable to stay asleep. They may wake up during the night and feel fully awake.
People who have experienced trauma often struggle with sleep. Night time is when they are faced with their worst memories and they do not feel safe. The flashbacks create anticipatory anxiety in the evening as they prepare for bed. Parents often become sleep deprived when their infants wake up often throughout the night. Sleep deprivation is linked to a variety of symptoms from poor concentration and irritability to hallucinations.
Some people don't remember their dreams. This is a shame because our dreams have important messages for us. There are entire dictionaries devoted to dream analysis. Dreamers are encouraged to perceive every character in their dream as an aspect of themselves. What is important is the emotion that is experiences during the dream. Therefore, if the dreamer feels afraid of a character, the question to ask is "What aspect of yourself are you afraid to express?".
Symbolism plays a huge role in dream interpretation. This is similar to my work as an art therapist. Clients can have strong emotional reactions to imagery in their art. Anything is possible in both art and dreams. When you are faced with a challenging situation, it is helpful to write about it before going to bed and asking for an answer to present itself. You can wake up with a solution the next morning as your mind has had the time to work on it overnight.
Dream analysis was an important tool psychoanalysis. It is still a valuable self-help tool. All you need to do is keep a pen and notebook next to your bed. Relax before bed and be clear about your intention to remember your dream. You can even ask a question in your notebook before you go to sleep. As soon as you wake up, write anything you remember in your notebook including storyline, characters, emotions and setting. Are you always in the same environment? Is there a recurring theme? You may recognize loved ones in your dreams and think this is about your relationship with them. However, ask yourself what that loved one represents to you and what emotions your dream interaction triggers in you. This may help you understand your feelings about a suppressed aspect of yourself. The longer you pay attention to your dreams, the more information will be packed into your dreams. If you are willing to document your dreams and do some soul searching, you may be surprised by how valuable this experience can be on your journey into personal growth.
Sweet dreams!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Failure
June 29th, 2016
From a very young age, we learn to compare ourselves to others. Are we taller, a faster runner, more popular, smarter than our peers? At school, we are rewarded for understanding quickly and repeating what we have learned. As we grow up, our parents, the media and community bombard us with messages regarding what it means to be successful. We might go to school longer to become the professionals our parents want us to be. We might work long hours to buy the big house and the ultra expensive sports car. We may use credit cards to pay for holidays we can't afford. We do this to look and feel successful.
In my work, I see people who are struggling with a sense of failure. After a divorce, many women feel like they have failed. Some will say that they should have left years earlier but they feared what others would say and think.
Mothers with teenagers come and see me because they feel that they have failed as a mother. Their previously loving and affectionate daughters no longer speak to them. Everything the moms say or do to bridge the gap that is ever widening only creates conflict. Their child is acting up and they fear that it's all their fault.
When clients come into my studio after they have been laid off, they are feeling shocked and disoriented. They climbed that social ladder and reached an acceptable status. When they suddenly find themselves further down the ladder, they feel like they have failed. It is a blow to their self-esteem.
We learn to avoid failure at all costs but failing is essential to our growth. We are here to experience life. If we fear participating in life because we don't ever want to fail, we end up not reaching our full potential. A comfortable life is not challenging therefore we don't learn anything new about others, about life and about ourselves.
When we fail, we get to receive love and support from our friends and family. These experiences show us who our true friends are and strengthen our relationships. Failing shuts doors so we might explore new avenues we never would have considered otherwise. When we fail in business, it can redirect us to a second career that is more compatible with our personality.
You don't know what you are capable of until you have experienced hardship. When you reach rock bottom, you have a choice-give up or get back up. What you decide teaches you something about your character. Failing also makes you more compassionate. When others are struggling, you can relate, you've been there. You know what others did that helped you pull through and you recall the things people said or did that just made it worst. This prepares you to support others to the best of your abilities.
If you have recently failed at something, ask yourself these questions:
1-On a scale of 1-10, how important will this seem to me in ten years from now? Will I still care?
2-What does this failure mean to me? What does it represent?
3-What story am I creating about this failure and where did this story originate?
4-Is this part of a pattern? Have I been here before? When did this pattern start? What needs healing?
5-How can I love myself today? What simple act of self-care can I perform to support myself?
6-What is the message in this failure? What is it meant to teach me?
7-Is there anything in my control that I can do to move forward today?
8-Who are the people I can reach out to, who love and support me?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
From a very young age, we learn to compare ourselves to others. Are we taller, a faster runner, more popular, smarter than our peers? At school, we are rewarded for understanding quickly and repeating what we have learned. As we grow up, our parents, the media and community bombard us with messages regarding what it means to be successful. We might go to school longer to become the professionals our parents want us to be. We might work long hours to buy the big house and the ultra expensive sports car. We may use credit cards to pay for holidays we can't afford. We do this to look and feel successful.
In my work, I see people who are struggling with a sense of failure. After a divorce, many women feel like they have failed. Some will say that they should have left years earlier but they feared what others would say and think.
Mothers with teenagers come and see me because they feel that they have failed as a mother. Their previously loving and affectionate daughters no longer speak to them. Everything the moms say or do to bridge the gap that is ever widening only creates conflict. Their child is acting up and they fear that it's all their fault.
When clients come into my studio after they have been laid off, they are feeling shocked and disoriented. They climbed that social ladder and reached an acceptable status. When they suddenly find themselves further down the ladder, they feel like they have failed. It is a blow to their self-esteem.
We learn to avoid failure at all costs but failing is essential to our growth. We are here to experience life. If we fear participating in life because we don't ever want to fail, we end up not reaching our full potential. A comfortable life is not challenging therefore we don't learn anything new about others, about life and about ourselves.
When we fail, we get to receive love and support from our friends and family. These experiences show us who our true friends are and strengthen our relationships. Failing shuts doors so we might explore new avenues we never would have considered otherwise. When we fail in business, it can redirect us to a second career that is more compatible with our personality.
You don't know what you are capable of until you have experienced hardship. When you reach rock bottom, you have a choice-give up or get back up. What you decide teaches you something about your character. Failing also makes you more compassionate. When others are struggling, you can relate, you've been there. You know what others did that helped you pull through and you recall the things people said or did that just made it worst. This prepares you to support others to the best of your abilities.
If you have recently failed at something, ask yourself these questions:
1-On a scale of 1-10, how important will this seem to me in ten years from now? Will I still care?
2-What does this failure mean to me? What does it represent?
3-What story am I creating about this failure and where did this story originate?
4-Is this part of a pattern? Have I been here before? When did this pattern start? What needs healing?
5-How can I love myself today? What simple act of self-care can I perform to support myself?
6-What is the message in this failure? What is it meant to teach me?
7-Is there anything in my control that I can do to move forward today?
8-Who are the people I can reach out to, who love and support me?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 17 May 2016
Quiet Time
May 17th, 2016
Yesterday was a great day! At approximately 2:45pm, a Fed Ex man came to my door and dropped off two boxes. The boxes were filled with my books, Have You Hugged Your Alien? and The Story of Poobum and Pompom. My first book was out last year and I used it for my workshops in elementary schools. I had sold out of the book. The second one had never been published and I was very excited to hold it in my hands.
As if things couldn't get better, my husband told me he was taking the girls to gymnastics so I would have 3 hours to myself! This is a rare thing. He took the girls to gymnastics last week but my eldest threw up as soon as they arrived so he didn't get to see them enjoy the class. This week, they stayed for the entire 2 hour class.
My mind raced with how to best use this precious time. I made myself a delicious salad and listened to more Hay House interviews. I journaled and created art about my vision for our future as a family while sipping a hot coffee. I took an epsom bath with lavender drops. I buffed away the dry skin from my heels and clipped my toe nails. I changed the payment information on my amazon.ca account so I could order two books I have been wanting. I created a yummy probiotic yogurt, granola and berries dessert and savoured each bite.
As you read this you probably think, BORING! The thing is, as hum drum as my evening may sound to you, I loved it. That is what is important. We all need some down time to recharge our batteries. What would fill you up is different from what works for me. It doesn't matter what others think.
By the time my husband returned with our two sleepy daughters, I was feeling calm and replenished. I had prepared the girls' bedrooms (humidifiers filled, stuffies ready for cuddles and diffusers spreading a warm scent throughout the room). I took some time to hear about their classes and give them a quick snack. I wasn't rushed or tired because I was able to look after my needs earlier that evening. Having some quiet time isn't just great for our mental health, it also makes us better moms and partners.
When was the last time you had quiet time? Start now by picking a day and time frame like Saturday morning from 10am-noon. Then brainstorm what would fill your batteries. You may want to walk through an art gallery (bring a sketch book, why not?). You may prefer to sit at a coffee shop and read a good book. No? What about a brisk walk with the dog on a nearby trail? Going to see a chick flick ?
Once you have found your bliss, let others know you will be unavailable at the set time and turn off your phone. If you hear a text, don't peek, actually it's better if you leave your phone in the car. Just enjoy your activity. Feel how special it is to have this time to spend by yourself. You will reach a point when you feel full. That is when you know you are replenished. You may want to share this experience with others, tell them what you did and how it felt. This is your signal that you are ready to head back to your loved ones, replenished and grateful for your respite. Try it, you'll like it.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Yesterday was a great day! At approximately 2:45pm, a Fed Ex man came to my door and dropped off two boxes. The boxes were filled with my books, Have You Hugged Your Alien? and The Story of Poobum and Pompom. My first book was out last year and I used it for my workshops in elementary schools. I had sold out of the book. The second one had never been published and I was very excited to hold it in my hands.
As if things couldn't get better, my husband told me he was taking the girls to gymnastics so I would have 3 hours to myself! This is a rare thing. He took the girls to gymnastics last week but my eldest threw up as soon as they arrived so he didn't get to see them enjoy the class. This week, they stayed for the entire 2 hour class.
My mind raced with how to best use this precious time. I made myself a delicious salad and listened to more Hay House interviews. I journaled and created art about my vision for our future as a family while sipping a hot coffee. I took an epsom bath with lavender drops. I buffed away the dry skin from my heels and clipped my toe nails. I changed the payment information on my amazon.ca account so I could order two books I have been wanting. I created a yummy probiotic yogurt, granola and berries dessert and savoured each bite.
As you read this you probably think, BORING! The thing is, as hum drum as my evening may sound to you, I loved it. That is what is important. We all need some down time to recharge our batteries. What would fill you up is different from what works for me. It doesn't matter what others think.
By the time my husband returned with our two sleepy daughters, I was feeling calm and replenished. I had prepared the girls' bedrooms (humidifiers filled, stuffies ready for cuddles and diffusers spreading a warm scent throughout the room). I took some time to hear about their classes and give them a quick snack. I wasn't rushed or tired because I was able to look after my needs earlier that evening. Having some quiet time isn't just great for our mental health, it also makes us better moms and partners.
When was the last time you had quiet time? Start now by picking a day and time frame like Saturday morning from 10am-noon. Then brainstorm what would fill your batteries. You may want to walk through an art gallery (bring a sketch book, why not?). You may prefer to sit at a coffee shop and read a good book. No? What about a brisk walk with the dog on a nearby trail? Going to see a chick flick ?
Once you have found your bliss, let others know you will be unavailable at the set time and turn off your phone. If you hear a text, don't peek, actually it's better if you leave your phone in the car. Just enjoy your activity. Feel how special it is to have this time to spend by yourself. You will reach a point when you feel full. That is when you know you are replenished. You may want to share this experience with others, tell them what you did and how it felt. This is your signal that you are ready to head back to your loved ones, replenished and grateful for your respite. Try it, you'll like it.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 16 May 2016
Broth Power!
May 16th, 2016
Last Friday, I met my mother in downtown Ottawa and got her signed up with Vrtucar. This means she can leave her home and visit us whenever she wants for as long as she wants. She can now be more independent. I felt so relieved.
Usually, I try to pack as much into Friday mornings as I can, knowing that it's my last day of productivity for the week before the children are home and I switch gears for the weekend. I am aware that I need to leave at around 1pm to pick up my mother so she can come and spend some time with her grandchildren.
My mother was raised in the country and felt very isolated during her teen years. She enjoys visiting our home but I can tell she is getting antsy by Saturday afternoon. She doesn't like to stay over more than one night which means I have to get her back to her home by late Saturday afternoon.
When the children were younger, I could get away with the 90 minute round trip because they always fell asleep. Now that they are older, they hate the drive into town. They always want to stop somewhere, like a toy store, to make the trip worthwhile. This is not an option because I have no intention to buy them toys every Saturday afternoon. So, there is usually some tension in our home as I coax the girls into the car for the round trip into town.
By the time I rushed home to get the children off the bus last Friday, I was feeling exhausted. I knew my body was fighting something off. I haven't been sleeping well due to a nasty cough I picked up when I was sick in April.
Luckily, I just happened to hear about the benefits of drinking broth from Heather Dane. She is one of the Hay House authors participating in the Hay House Summit. Apparently, drinking broth is "in" right now. I had never heard of this. My husband looked it up and there are restaurants devoted solely to broth in New York City. The idea is, you create a batch of broth and reheat it every day. You can bring some to work in a thermos to drink throughout the day (instead of coffee).
In the notes that were attached to her presentation, she outlines how to create three broths- a bone broth, a veggie broth and a meat broth. Heather explains that drinking bone broth can increase your collagen levels (think tighter skin) and seal your gut. Broths also help strengthen your joints, build muscle and lose weight.
Does this sound too complicated? If creating broths sounds like a chore, reminiscent of your grandma standing by a stove all day, you can relax, Heather makes it easy. You get a paper bag, open it and stick it in your freezer. As you cook throughout the week, you place bones, meat pieces and vegetable trimmings into this bag. Once the bag is full, you can empty the contents in a stock pot (or slow cooker), cover it with water, bring it to a boil and then let it simmer for a few hours.
I made my first batch of stock this weekend to mend my compromised immune system. I used a head of garlic, two leeks, carrots, cauliflower, kale, peppercorns, sea salt, turmeric, cilantro, thyme and bones from local, grassfed beef. I covered it with water, brought it to a boil then covered it and let it simmer for three hours. I went out for errands and returned to a home that smelled like grandma's house. I filled six mason jars and let them cool. Then I put them in the fridge.
This morning, my husband and I both sipped some broth. We skimmed off the layer of fat from the surface and re-heated it just warm enough to drink. I like that it feels like a warm cup of coffee but is actually really healing. I have a hard time drinking herbal teas because they are thin and watery. Texture is important to me. Broth has a creamy texture to it, similar to coffee, without the dairy. Drinking broth doesn't feel like a sacrifice.
I have been working on taking care of myself. That means making others responsible for themselves. When my children ask me for some juice and they left their container upstairs, they need to get their container for me so I can refill it. Now that my mother has a Vrtucar account, she can be responsible for her schedule and her trips to and from my home. When students contact me to come and work with me, I no longer rush in to create an exciting learning experience for them. I tell them about my next workshop and ask them to suggest an activity they could help lead. Taking the pressure off of myself allows me to focus my energy on my priorities. Taking care of my health is a priority. Making the time to create healthy, delicious, healing broths is just one more step in the right direction. I hope you will take some time to create broths as well. To your health!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Last Friday, I met my mother in downtown Ottawa and got her signed up with Vrtucar. This means she can leave her home and visit us whenever she wants for as long as she wants. She can now be more independent. I felt so relieved.
Usually, I try to pack as much into Friday mornings as I can, knowing that it's my last day of productivity for the week before the children are home and I switch gears for the weekend. I am aware that I need to leave at around 1pm to pick up my mother so she can come and spend some time with her grandchildren.
My mother was raised in the country and felt very isolated during her teen years. She enjoys visiting our home but I can tell she is getting antsy by Saturday afternoon. She doesn't like to stay over more than one night which means I have to get her back to her home by late Saturday afternoon.
When the children were younger, I could get away with the 90 minute round trip because they always fell asleep. Now that they are older, they hate the drive into town. They always want to stop somewhere, like a toy store, to make the trip worthwhile. This is not an option because I have no intention to buy them toys every Saturday afternoon. So, there is usually some tension in our home as I coax the girls into the car for the round trip into town.
By the time I rushed home to get the children off the bus last Friday, I was feeling exhausted. I knew my body was fighting something off. I haven't been sleeping well due to a nasty cough I picked up when I was sick in April.
Luckily, I just happened to hear about the benefits of drinking broth from Heather Dane. She is one of the Hay House authors participating in the Hay House Summit. Apparently, drinking broth is "in" right now. I had never heard of this. My husband looked it up and there are restaurants devoted solely to broth in New York City. The idea is, you create a batch of broth and reheat it every day. You can bring some to work in a thermos to drink throughout the day (instead of coffee).
In the notes that were attached to her presentation, she outlines how to create three broths- a bone broth, a veggie broth and a meat broth. Heather explains that drinking bone broth can increase your collagen levels (think tighter skin) and seal your gut. Broths also help strengthen your joints, build muscle and lose weight.
Does this sound too complicated? If creating broths sounds like a chore, reminiscent of your grandma standing by a stove all day, you can relax, Heather makes it easy. You get a paper bag, open it and stick it in your freezer. As you cook throughout the week, you place bones, meat pieces and vegetable trimmings into this bag. Once the bag is full, you can empty the contents in a stock pot (or slow cooker), cover it with water, bring it to a boil and then let it simmer for a few hours.
I made my first batch of stock this weekend to mend my compromised immune system. I used a head of garlic, two leeks, carrots, cauliflower, kale, peppercorns, sea salt, turmeric, cilantro, thyme and bones from local, grassfed beef. I covered it with water, brought it to a boil then covered it and let it simmer for three hours. I went out for errands and returned to a home that smelled like grandma's house. I filled six mason jars and let them cool. Then I put them in the fridge.
This morning, my husband and I both sipped some broth. We skimmed off the layer of fat from the surface and re-heated it just warm enough to drink. I like that it feels like a warm cup of coffee but is actually really healing. I have a hard time drinking herbal teas because they are thin and watery. Texture is important to me. Broth has a creamy texture to it, similar to coffee, without the dairy. Drinking broth doesn't feel like a sacrifice.
I have been working on taking care of myself. That means making others responsible for themselves. When my children ask me for some juice and they left their container upstairs, they need to get their container for me so I can refill it. Now that my mother has a Vrtucar account, she can be responsible for her schedule and her trips to and from my home. When students contact me to come and work with me, I no longer rush in to create an exciting learning experience for them. I tell them about my next workshop and ask them to suggest an activity they could help lead. Taking the pressure off of myself allows me to focus my energy on my priorities. Taking care of my health is a priority. Making the time to create healthy, delicious, healing broths is just one more step in the right direction. I hope you will take some time to create broths as well. To your health!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 12 May 2016
The Hay House Summit
May 12th, 2016
Every year, Hay House, a major publishing company of self-help books, organizes a free, online summit. You can watch movies or listen to interviews on a variety of topics. Each interview lasts approximately 50 minutes and is packed with information.
I was inspired by Wayne Dyer's movie, The Shift. It was the first thing I watched. Dr Dyer teaches us how to move from a place of entitlement to an attitude of service. We each have something to offer and our life should be a joyful exploration of how we can use our skills to help others.
I listened to a fascinating interview with Alberto Villoldo who explains how our body is able to heal itself and even re-grow organs. We are programmed to grow and develop in the early years in order to reproduce then these functions shut down. However, Dr. Villoldo explains how we can turn these abilities on even during the early years in order to maintain our health and vitality. Amazing!
Next, I heard about Antony William's ability to see people's illnesses and recommend treatments. He is a medical medium. I was also impressed with Dr. David Hamilton's description of his research into the placebo effect. Apparently, he was busy creating medicine to help with people experience issues with their heart. He noticed that believing in a doctor or medication was enough to produce statistically significant results. He talked about the importance of gratitude, kindness and compassion to promote health and/or to help the heart heal post-surgery. There was a really powerful, healing visualization exercise at the end of his interview. I absolutely believe that what we visualize impacts our bodies.
In the second batch of interviews, I learned how to unlock my access to abundance by recognizing myths that I absorbed during my childhood in an interview with Julie Ann Cairns. Her words really struck a chord with me. In all our relationships, we experience frustration and observe patterns that get repeated. The patterns stem from childhood lessons and our frustration to the results we get from those patterns of behaviour is an indication that we are stuck and need to release some old beliefs. I am going to buy her book, Breaking the Abundance Code. She claims that if we work through the seven myths outlined in her book, our negative beliefs about money can be challenged, resulting in a better relationship with money.
Joseph Clough spoke about how to match the frequency of what we want in order to attract it into our lives. He encourages us to stay focused on our goals with our thoughts as well as our actions. We need to make the time to pursue these goals by cutting out activities that do not move us forward (like watching television). He warns against being rigid. We may be aiming too low so we need to remain open to even better possibilities that may present themselves to us. He suggests that we look for a lesson in every obstacle and never give up on our dreams.
Katie Dalebout wrote a book about journalling which is a passion of mine. She offers 55 directives in her book and described some of them during the interview. An interesting one was, If you knew this was going to be the best day of your life, how would you dress, what would you do and who would you see? I was familiar with the benefits of journalling therefore I didn't take as many notes during this interview. However, Katie shared how she came to write her book. She attended a Hay House Writer's Workshop. I have been contemplating this very same thing. They sometimes have them in New York. The next one is in Maui so too far for me at this time but, as soon as there is a workshop closer to Ottawa, I will sign up. Hearing about her experiences at the Writer's Workshop and the process she went through to become a published author was very motivating for me.
Lastly, Karen Henson Jones shared her transition from being a busy woman, working at a fast-paced job to having a near-death experience and needing to reconfigure her life. She travelled and shares what each trip taught her about life. She speaks about compassion and past lives. She believes our experiences and relationships are meant to help us grow, that we pre-selected them before coming into this life. We have a chart or life map and everything is part of the map. She takes us through three powerful healing visualizations at the end of her interview. I was so grateful for her talk.
I love the Hay House Summits. There are so many interesting presenters. You choose the topics of interest to you. You can take notes and, if you know someone else who is listening to these interviews, you can discuss them afterwards. I am so grateful to Hay House for providing this enriching experience for free. The fact that it's online means I can listen to the interviews while I am driving, cleaning the house, cooking supper or, after the children have gone to bed. I hope you all go to the hay house website (www.hayhouseworldsummit.com) and take advantage of this tremendous opportunity.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Every year, Hay House, a major publishing company of self-help books, organizes a free, online summit. You can watch movies or listen to interviews on a variety of topics. Each interview lasts approximately 50 minutes and is packed with information.
I was inspired by Wayne Dyer's movie, The Shift. It was the first thing I watched. Dr Dyer teaches us how to move from a place of entitlement to an attitude of service. We each have something to offer and our life should be a joyful exploration of how we can use our skills to help others.
I listened to a fascinating interview with Alberto Villoldo who explains how our body is able to heal itself and even re-grow organs. We are programmed to grow and develop in the early years in order to reproduce then these functions shut down. However, Dr. Villoldo explains how we can turn these abilities on even during the early years in order to maintain our health and vitality. Amazing!
Next, I heard about Antony William's ability to see people's illnesses and recommend treatments. He is a medical medium. I was also impressed with Dr. David Hamilton's description of his research into the placebo effect. Apparently, he was busy creating medicine to help with people experience issues with their heart. He noticed that believing in a doctor or medication was enough to produce statistically significant results. He talked about the importance of gratitude, kindness and compassion to promote health and/or to help the heart heal post-surgery. There was a really powerful, healing visualization exercise at the end of his interview. I absolutely believe that what we visualize impacts our bodies.
In the second batch of interviews, I learned how to unlock my access to abundance by recognizing myths that I absorbed during my childhood in an interview with Julie Ann Cairns. Her words really struck a chord with me. In all our relationships, we experience frustration and observe patterns that get repeated. The patterns stem from childhood lessons and our frustration to the results we get from those patterns of behaviour is an indication that we are stuck and need to release some old beliefs. I am going to buy her book, Breaking the Abundance Code. She claims that if we work through the seven myths outlined in her book, our negative beliefs about money can be challenged, resulting in a better relationship with money.
Joseph Clough spoke about how to match the frequency of what we want in order to attract it into our lives. He encourages us to stay focused on our goals with our thoughts as well as our actions. We need to make the time to pursue these goals by cutting out activities that do not move us forward (like watching television). He warns against being rigid. We may be aiming too low so we need to remain open to even better possibilities that may present themselves to us. He suggests that we look for a lesson in every obstacle and never give up on our dreams.
Katie Dalebout wrote a book about journalling which is a passion of mine. She offers 55 directives in her book and described some of them during the interview. An interesting one was, If you knew this was going to be the best day of your life, how would you dress, what would you do and who would you see? I was familiar with the benefits of journalling therefore I didn't take as many notes during this interview. However, Katie shared how she came to write her book. She attended a Hay House Writer's Workshop. I have been contemplating this very same thing. They sometimes have them in New York. The next one is in Maui so too far for me at this time but, as soon as there is a workshop closer to Ottawa, I will sign up. Hearing about her experiences at the Writer's Workshop and the process she went through to become a published author was very motivating for me.
Lastly, Karen Henson Jones shared her transition from being a busy woman, working at a fast-paced job to having a near-death experience and needing to reconfigure her life. She travelled and shares what each trip taught her about life. She speaks about compassion and past lives. She believes our experiences and relationships are meant to help us grow, that we pre-selected them before coming into this life. We have a chart or life map and everything is part of the map. She takes us through three powerful healing visualizations at the end of her interview. I was so grateful for her talk.
I love the Hay House Summits. There are so many interesting presenters. You choose the topics of interest to you. You can take notes and, if you know someone else who is listening to these interviews, you can discuss them afterwards. I am so grateful to Hay House for providing this enriching experience for free. The fact that it's online means I can listen to the interviews while I am driving, cleaning the house, cooking supper or, after the children have gone to bed. I hope you all go to the hay house website (www.hayhouseworldsummit.com) and take advantage of this tremendous opportunity.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 14 March 2016
Family Dynamics
March 14th, 2016
Who are you? I mean in your family. What is your role? Where do you fit in the puzzle of your family? Whenever I offer a team building workshop for small groups I like to explore this question. We are complex human beings. We may be controlling and bossy at work then dependent and quiet at home. Each environment brings out a different aspect of us.
The thing is, we often walk right into the same role at work and in our romantic relationship as we had in our family of origin. Were you the peacemaker at home? Are you the only one still talking to everyone at work? The one every member of the team confides in? Were you a caregiver when you were growing up, caring for an alcoholic parent? You may be determined to marry someone who doesn't drink but you end up with someone who depends on you in other ways. Are all your employers incompetent people who need your expertise to succeed, just another expression of the same pattern.
If each employee is carrying a role from his/her family of origin but is unaware of it, then each conflict at work is perceived as new and unique to that specific working relationship. What happens when you recognize a pattern, when you realize that this is just an extension of your previous role from your family of origin? It depersonalizes the conflict at work, it brings you back to the original relationship to figure out what needs to be resolved. You can make choices from a place of awareness. The intensity of the conflict vanishes. You are able to question your perception. "Are they excluding me or am I imagining that they would prefer it if I didn't join them because I felt like an outsider in my family of origin"? The ability to check the validity of your perceptions is empowering.
Have you ever noticed how the same family story can be told differently by the family members who were there? We carry our stories with us. We tell our partner, our children, our friends and colleagues our version of these stories. They become a part of our identity. They influence the way we interact with others, our expectations of them. We change, our loved ones change but we interact as if everything is the same. Isn't it funny how we become 5 years old when we bump into our kindergarten teacher. We are full grown with children of our own but we find ourselves greeting her the same way, with the same tone: "Hello Mrs Birke"!
We project these behaviors onto new people. We transfer our fear of parents onto authority figures, our desire to please to other men or women, our competitiveness from our siblings to our colleagues. Take a moment to become conscious of the impact your roles have on your current life.
1-What was your job in your family of origin? Did you make people laugh, stir up trouble, create chaos, rebel, keep the peace, compete, make yourself invisible, do all the work, try to be perfect?
2-Who were your allies in the family (people who supported you)?
3-Were you in a coalition with someone (ganging up against someone else)?
4-Were you the black sheep (different/outsider)?
5-What were the rules in your family (even if they were never spoken)?
6- What were your family's expectations of you? Were you expected to take over the family business, marry someone from your culture or religion, get rich and support your family?
7-What did your family stand for and value? (success, family, patriotism, community involvement, education, athletics)
8-How would you qualify the relationship between your parents and among your family members? (intimate, close, loving, supportive or cold, divided, chaotic, violent, numb)
Once you've answered these questions, examine your current lifestyle and relationships, at home and at work. Can you see the connections between your life and your foundation? I would be very surprised if you didn't. Once you make peace with your family of origin and heal early wounds, the troubling people in your present will lose their hold on you.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Who are you? I mean in your family. What is your role? Where do you fit in the puzzle of your family? Whenever I offer a team building workshop for small groups I like to explore this question. We are complex human beings. We may be controlling and bossy at work then dependent and quiet at home. Each environment brings out a different aspect of us.
The thing is, we often walk right into the same role at work and in our romantic relationship as we had in our family of origin. Were you the peacemaker at home? Are you the only one still talking to everyone at work? The one every member of the team confides in? Were you a caregiver when you were growing up, caring for an alcoholic parent? You may be determined to marry someone who doesn't drink but you end up with someone who depends on you in other ways. Are all your employers incompetent people who need your expertise to succeed, just another expression of the same pattern.
If each employee is carrying a role from his/her family of origin but is unaware of it, then each conflict at work is perceived as new and unique to that specific working relationship. What happens when you recognize a pattern, when you realize that this is just an extension of your previous role from your family of origin? It depersonalizes the conflict at work, it brings you back to the original relationship to figure out what needs to be resolved. You can make choices from a place of awareness. The intensity of the conflict vanishes. You are able to question your perception. "Are they excluding me or am I imagining that they would prefer it if I didn't join them because I felt like an outsider in my family of origin"? The ability to check the validity of your perceptions is empowering.
Have you ever noticed how the same family story can be told differently by the family members who were there? We carry our stories with us. We tell our partner, our children, our friends and colleagues our version of these stories. They become a part of our identity. They influence the way we interact with others, our expectations of them. We change, our loved ones change but we interact as if everything is the same. Isn't it funny how we become 5 years old when we bump into our kindergarten teacher. We are full grown with children of our own but we find ourselves greeting her the same way, with the same tone: "Hello Mrs Birke"!
We project these behaviors onto new people. We transfer our fear of parents onto authority figures, our desire to please to other men or women, our competitiveness from our siblings to our colleagues. Take a moment to become conscious of the impact your roles have on your current life.
1-What was your job in your family of origin? Did you make people laugh, stir up trouble, create chaos, rebel, keep the peace, compete, make yourself invisible, do all the work, try to be perfect?
2-Who were your allies in the family (people who supported you)?
3-Were you in a coalition with someone (ganging up against someone else)?
4-Were you the black sheep (different/outsider)?
5-What were the rules in your family (even if they were never spoken)?
6- What were your family's expectations of you? Were you expected to take over the family business, marry someone from your culture or religion, get rich and support your family?
7-What did your family stand for and value? (success, family, patriotism, community involvement, education, athletics)
8-How would you qualify the relationship between your parents and among your family members? (intimate, close, loving, supportive or cold, divided, chaotic, violent, numb)
Once you've answered these questions, examine your current lifestyle and relationships, at home and at work. Can you see the connections between your life and your foundation? I would be very surprised if you didn't. Once you make peace with your family of origin and heal early wounds, the troubling people in your present will lose their hold on you.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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