December 1st, 2016
In the early 2000s, I submitted a short story to a collaborative book published by Mimi Publishing. I wrote about my work with people diagnosed with dementia. I wanted to inspire the staff in long term care and loved ones of individuals with dementia to stimulate and appreciate the person within the illness. When Mimi Publishing was ready to start its second collaboration, I submitted a more personal story. This time, my aim was to write about my childhood in a less than ideal low income neighbourhood in order to reach out to at-risk teens. The message to my story was that you can't choose your lifestyle when you are a child but, as an adult, you can design your own life regardless of your beginnings. The lady who edited my text, focused on the biographical aspect of my story and, by the time it went to print, there wasn't much left of the motivational part of my story. I was disappointed and never really sold that book to anyone.
Years later, I interviewed older adults living in my neighbourhood and submitted their stories to the local paper. I enjoyed doing this and ended up being a reporter for some time, visiting local businesses and interesting individuals to document what they were doing and why it mattered to the people in our community.
I enjoyed writing. I was able to use my creativity and people wrote to me or spoke to me when we bumped into one another to say they loved reading what I wrote. I approached a friend and artist Meredith Luce and we collaborated on a deck of art therapy cards. These cards were meant to help ease women going through painful life transitions by suggesting art therapy directives they could do from home with cheap materials.
I started volunteering in my daughter's class. I wanted to design workshops that taught life skills such as friendship, stress management, healthy boundaries, constructive self-expression and self-care but I couldn't find a book about the healthy expression of anger or frustration. This led me down the self-publishing path and my first book was born. Have You Hugged Your Alien? was my tool to initiate conversations with elementary school children about the normalcy of their emotions.
I followed up with a second book dealing with sibling rivalry as children adjust to a younger sibling. The first book was popular with teachers, therapists and parents. The second book was used by parents and the workshops were mostly in libraries or after school programs.
Last January, after chatting with my friend Chris who is a writer, I expressed my desire to write more often but my confusion about how one goes about getting paid for their work. Chris has been my informal mentor since then, pointing out grant application deadline, writer's festivals and events as well as associations that support and promote the work of writers. I have learned a great deal from her. I figured if I wanted to feel like a writer, I needed to write every day. So, I started this blog and I have written on most weekdays since then. I also write in my journal.
This past weekend, I attended the Small Press Fair in Ottawa. I was really scared but I got registered and showed up anyways. Mandy from Classic Graphics had prepared a huge sign for me with a bio and a copy of the title page from each book as well as my logo on it. She did a great job, as usual. I found a table, under the gaze of the other writers who were already set up. I noticed they all had table cloths, really good quality ones. Oops! I scrambled back to my car and, luckily, I had a Dollar Store tablecloth in my truck, leftover from Wednesday's workshop. It would have to do. I finished setting up my table and acknowledged my neighbours, the ten sets of eyes sitting across from me. I felt like such a newbie. My sign was way too big. Everyone else was way more discreet. I felt like a nouveau riche surrounded by people who came from old money. "One of these things is not like the others". I stayed, I met interesting people, made excellent connections and now have one small press fair under my belt. It turns out that many of the people around my table were also new to this. Everyone was nice and supportive. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Now, I am writing a book for women, The Mommy Monologues. I am interviewing mothers from every walk of life. I have written a quarter of it already. I am humbled and moved by the tremendous stories of love and courage that these mothers are sharing with me. I used to be an art therapist who also liked to write. As time goes on, more people introduce me as a writer who is also an art therapist. I was thinking about this on the weekend. I felt like an imposter. I didn't study English literature, I'm never sure if my grammar and punctuation are acceptable, English isn't even my first language. I love to write and do it every day but I still feel like a liar when I say I'm a writer. I wondered what makes someone a writer. There are plenty of successful authors who did not have a background in English Literature. There is an equally impressive amount of people with an English degree who have yet to write anything. So, this leads me to my question: Am I a writer yet?
I feel like an art therapist who loves to write and does so to help people connect and heal. I proudly call myself an author because I have self-published books however, I still feel like a fraud if I call myself a writer. Perhaps this next book will be a game-changer for me. Who knows? For now, I am just enjoying the writing process, the therapeutic value in people telling their stories to someone who is hanging on their every word, the sense of hope and connection that women get from recognizing their story in someone else's narrative and, the pride I get for bringing these amazing women together in one book.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothers. Show all posts
Thursday, 1 December 2016
Friday, 4 November 2016
The mother of all stories; local author seeks moms willing to contribute to book
November 4th, 2016
Jennifer Westendorp from The Kemptville Advance, wrote this article about my book in order to get more moms to step forward and share their stories. Thank you Jennifer! If you know any mother who would like to share her story, please send her my way.
http://www.insideottawavalley.com/community-story/6945860-the-mother-of-all-stories-local-author-seeks-moms-willing-to-contribute-to-book/
The mother of all stories; local author seeks moms willing to contribute to book
Every mother has a story to tell; of love, heartbreak, exclusion, judgement, friendship, frustration, pure joy, insomnia or guilt. Mothers have been through it all.
Local author and art therapist Anne Walsh has set out on a mission to gather these stories and compile them into a book all mothers can relate to.
And she wants your help.
“I am writing a book called Mommy Monologues, which is basically a book about motherhood,” explained Walsh.
Working as an art therapist has shown here that often mothers feel alone.
“Mommy’s have monologues running through their heads; I didn’t make it to an activity at my child’s school, I wasn’t there for them, I didn’t get this done, my child doesn’t have their boots on like everyone else, they left without mittens.”
Motherhood has become a competitive sport, said Walsh.
“Where there is competition, there is no vulnerability, so people don’t see you need support. Meanwhile, people are struggling and nobody knows.”
The goal of the book is to break through the barrier of taboo; to show struggling doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.
“I want to show the variety of mommy monologues,” said Walsh. “To show moms they are not alone.”
When you think about motherhood, you see images of the ‘soccer mom’ or ‘working mom,’ she explained.
“There are so many more varieties out there; moms who adopted, moms who are gay, moms with addiction issues, moms with mental health issues or who have kids with mental health issues. There are all these different types of moms out there with no community. All they see are moms who are able-bodied and not struggling, so they feel isolated.”
“What I want to do is interview all these moms,” she continued. “I am looking for moms from all walks of life. I want to hear it all. My goal is for every mother to be able to pick up this book and be able to find her story.”
Walsh, who has interviewed 10 moms so far, hopes to include stories from about 100.
“I’ve talked to many moms about this and a lot of them say ‘oh, you wouldn’t want my story in your book.’ They don’t feel like they are good enough to be included. I want to honour all stories by putting them in the book. No story is insignificant.”
If you are interested in sharing your story with Walsh, email her directly at artnsoul@ripnet.com or send her a message on Facebook. People who participate do not have to use their real name in the book.
Jennifer Westendorp is the reporter for the Kemptville Advance. She studied journalism-print at Algonquin College. Her interests include reading, writing and being outdoors.
Jennifer Westendorp from The Kemptville Advance, wrote this article about my book in order to get more moms to step forward and share their stories. Thank you Jennifer! If you know any mother who would like to share her story, please send her my way.
http://www.insideottawavalley.com/community-story/6945860-the-mother-of-all-stories-local-author-seeks-moms-willing-to-contribute-to-book/
The mother of all stories; local author seeks moms willing to contribute to book
Every mother has a story to tell; of love, heartbreak, exclusion, judgement, friendship, frustration, pure joy, insomnia or guilt. Mothers have been through it all.
Local author and art therapist Anne Walsh has set out on a mission to gather these stories and compile them into a book all mothers can relate to.
And she wants your help.
“I am writing a book called Mommy Monologues, which is basically a book about motherhood,” explained Walsh.
Working as an art therapist has shown here that often mothers feel alone.
“Mommy’s have monologues running through their heads; I didn’t make it to an activity at my child’s school, I wasn’t there for them, I didn’t get this done, my child doesn’t have their boots on like everyone else, they left without mittens.”
Motherhood has become a competitive sport, said Walsh.
“Where there is competition, there is no vulnerability, so people don’t see you need support. Meanwhile, people are struggling and nobody knows.”
The goal of the book is to break through the barrier of taboo; to show struggling doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.
“I want to show the variety of mommy monologues,” said Walsh. “To show moms they are not alone.”
When you think about motherhood, you see images of the ‘soccer mom’ or ‘working mom,’ she explained.
“There are so many more varieties out there; moms who adopted, moms who are gay, moms with addiction issues, moms with mental health issues or who have kids with mental health issues. There are all these different types of moms out there with no community. All they see are moms who are able-bodied and not struggling, so they feel isolated.”
“What I want to do is interview all these moms,” she continued. “I am looking for moms from all walks of life. I want to hear it all. My goal is for every mother to be able to pick up this book and be able to find her story.”
Walsh, who has interviewed 10 moms so far, hopes to include stories from about 100.
“I’ve talked to many moms about this and a lot of them say ‘oh, you wouldn’t want my story in your book.’ They don’t feel like they are good enough to be included. I want to honour all stories by putting them in the book. No story is insignificant.”
If you are interested in sharing your story with Walsh, email her directly at artnsoul@ripnet.com or send her a message on Facebook. People who participate do not have to use their real name in the book.
Jennifer Westendorp is the reporter for the Kemptville Advance. She studied journalism-print at Algonquin College. Her interests include reading, writing and being outdoors.
Monday, 17 October 2016
Mothers Without Babies
October 17th, 2016
Did you know that October 15th was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day? I didn't, until my mother saw an article in the Ottawa Metro Newspaper and brought it to my attention. I read the article and learned that "2,700 mothers... deliver stillborn babies every year in Canada". That is a huge number! Why do we not know about this? Also, I learned that parents lose their maternity benefits right away when the baby dies and only have ten days off work before they are expected to return. This is insane! Can you imagine the trauma of a miscarriage or stillbirth followed by a routine day at the office? You need to grieve and have a burial or ceremony but you're back at work dealing with people's questions and, sometimes, insensitive comments.
The thought of mothers leaving the hospital empty handed hits a nerve with me. When I was born, my mother's parents did not approve of her keeping me. I was bi-racial, she wasn't married and she could not afford to raise me on her own. My grandmother had raised five children and she feared that I would become her responsibility. My grandparents told my mother she could come home but not with a baby. Therefore, immediately after birth, I was taken away to an orphanage. It would be months before my mother was able to prove to Children's Aid that she was a responsible adult able to care for her child. My mother told me how difficult it was to leave the hospital without me. She wasn't able to breastfeed, she had to take medication to dry up her milk supply. Her breasts were engorged and painful. She went back to work where she was harassed and judged. I feel for her. I wish I could go back in time and tell her not to worry, that we would be ok.
I have counselled women who have lost a child but I've never had a client who delivered a stillborn. That is why the statistic surprised me. One more thing I learned about in the article is how fathers are excluded from the grieving process. They have also experienced a loss but they are forgotten, neglected. This is sad. If the wife is grieving and getting support from loved ones but the husband is not included in the grieving process, it could impact their relationship. He may not want to try again if she is ever ready to do so. He may resent her for not including him in the process. She may feel angry if she feels that he is not supportive, not realizing that he has withdrawn due to pain and lack of support, not because he is indifferent. There is a huge need to educate the public about this. Luckily, there is an excellent resource for families who have lost a child, http://pailnetwork.ca.
When I was a university student, I worked with a woman in her forties who had an abortion in her twenties. One day, we had our break together and she told me about her daughter. She thought about her every day. She dreamed about her at night. She described what her daughter looked like, she aged in her dreams just as she would have if she had lived. I have encountered a great deal of women who complain of chronic pain. They come and see me for art therapy and we get to see the link between an abortion or miscarriage and the pain they were talking about. Once they tell me their story and create art to gain closure, the pain subsides.
That is just one more reason to include stories of loss in my upcoming book, The Mommy Monologues. I hope to share stories that will inspire mothers in all sorts of situations to speak to people about their experience and ask for support because they know they are not alone.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Did you know that October 15th was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day? I didn't, until my mother saw an article in the Ottawa Metro Newspaper and brought it to my attention. I read the article and learned that "2,700 mothers... deliver stillborn babies every year in Canada". That is a huge number! Why do we not know about this? Also, I learned that parents lose their maternity benefits right away when the baby dies and only have ten days off work before they are expected to return. This is insane! Can you imagine the trauma of a miscarriage or stillbirth followed by a routine day at the office? You need to grieve and have a burial or ceremony but you're back at work dealing with people's questions and, sometimes, insensitive comments.
The thought of mothers leaving the hospital empty handed hits a nerve with me. When I was born, my mother's parents did not approve of her keeping me. I was bi-racial, she wasn't married and she could not afford to raise me on her own. My grandmother had raised five children and she feared that I would become her responsibility. My grandparents told my mother she could come home but not with a baby. Therefore, immediately after birth, I was taken away to an orphanage. It would be months before my mother was able to prove to Children's Aid that she was a responsible adult able to care for her child. My mother told me how difficult it was to leave the hospital without me. She wasn't able to breastfeed, she had to take medication to dry up her milk supply. Her breasts were engorged and painful. She went back to work where she was harassed and judged. I feel for her. I wish I could go back in time and tell her not to worry, that we would be ok.
I have counselled women who have lost a child but I've never had a client who delivered a stillborn. That is why the statistic surprised me. One more thing I learned about in the article is how fathers are excluded from the grieving process. They have also experienced a loss but they are forgotten, neglected. This is sad. If the wife is grieving and getting support from loved ones but the husband is not included in the grieving process, it could impact their relationship. He may not want to try again if she is ever ready to do so. He may resent her for not including him in the process. She may feel angry if she feels that he is not supportive, not realizing that he has withdrawn due to pain and lack of support, not because he is indifferent. There is a huge need to educate the public about this. Luckily, there is an excellent resource for families who have lost a child, http://pailnetwork.ca.
When I was a university student, I worked with a woman in her forties who had an abortion in her twenties. One day, we had our break together and she told me about her daughter. She thought about her every day. She dreamed about her at night. She described what her daughter looked like, she aged in her dreams just as she would have if she had lived. I have encountered a great deal of women who complain of chronic pain. They come and see me for art therapy and we get to see the link between an abortion or miscarriage and the pain they were talking about. Once they tell me their story and create art to gain closure, the pain subsides.
That is just one more reason to include stories of loss in my upcoming book, The Mommy Monologues. I hope to share stories that will inspire mothers in all sorts of situations to speak to people about their experience and ask for support because they know they are not alone.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 4 October 2016
The Mommy Monologues Begin
October 4th, 2016
Today is the day. There is a book in me, begging to come out. I have requested funding. I have discussed it with others. I have collected contact information for potential interview leads. The problem with requesting funds is that you are not supposed to start the project until you find out if you have received the funds or not. This is proving to be difficult for me. You see, this book has a mind of its own. It wants to live and will not leave me alone. Therefore, I have decided to just get started, there is so much to do.
The Mommy Monologues is a book about women who have chosen to become mothers whether they actually gave birth to a child or not. Women are strong and, when we support and acknowledge one another, there is nothing we can't do. Unfortunately, when we become mothers, an intense, emotional experience, we divide into cliques. Even within the "mainstream moms" there are four distinct sub-sections: the stay-at-home mom, the working mom, the breastfeeding mom and the bottle feeding mom. They are all moms but somehow there is judgment and division where there could be solidarity and mutual support. That is so sad!
What about mothers who are different in other ways? I call them marginalized moms. They are often excluded from the "mainstream" clique even though they are very much a mom, just like them. The aim of this book is to give every mother a voice so that any woman can pick up this book and find herself represented. Mothers who feel isolated can see that they are not alone. Other mothers reading these stories will gain some understanding of what it's like to be a different kind of mom. There is so much diversity within the one umbrella that is motherhood.
Here is a sample of the types of moms I am looking to interview:
-Women who never left the hospital with their baby (miscarriage, still born, put up for adoption)
-Women whose children have a disability or physical illness
-Women whose children have a mental illness
-Women who themselves have a mental or physical illness
-Women who have adopted their child
-Women who became a step-mom
-Women who got pregnant through in-vitro
-Women who are recovering addicts
-Women who are serving or have served time in jail
-Women who are living or have lived in a shelter
-Military moms who move from one base to the next every few years
-Military moms who have been diagnosed with ptsd or whose partner has been diagnosed with ptsd
-Gay/Lesbian/Transgender/Transexual moms
-Multicultural moms
-Mothers who live at or under the line of poverty
I want to hear these stories and share them. I believe that reading about the diverse experiences of motherhood teaches us that we are all human beings doing our best based on our knowledge and abilities. There is no need for judgement, division and comparison. We can learn from each other and grow even stronger as a community.
If you are one of these moms, I want to hear from you. If you know someone who is, please share this post and my contact information with her. I look forward to learning from you,
Anne Walsh
artnsoul@ripnet.com
www.artnsoul.org
Today is the day. There is a book in me, begging to come out. I have requested funding. I have discussed it with others. I have collected contact information for potential interview leads. The problem with requesting funds is that you are not supposed to start the project until you find out if you have received the funds or not. This is proving to be difficult for me. You see, this book has a mind of its own. It wants to live and will not leave me alone. Therefore, I have decided to just get started, there is so much to do.
The Mommy Monologues is a book about women who have chosen to become mothers whether they actually gave birth to a child or not. Women are strong and, when we support and acknowledge one another, there is nothing we can't do. Unfortunately, when we become mothers, an intense, emotional experience, we divide into cliques. Even within the "mainstream moms" there are four distinct sub-sections: the stay-at-home mom, the working mom, the breastfeeding mom and the bottle feeding mom. They are all moms but somehow there is judgment and division where there could be solidarity and mutual support. That is so sad!
What about mothers who are different in other ways? I call them marginalized moms. They are often excluded from the "mainstream" clique even though they are very much a mom, just like them. The aim of this book is to give every mother a voice so that any woman can pick up this book and find herself represented. Mothers who feel isolated can see that they are not alone. Other mothers reading these stories will gain some understanding of what it's like to be a different kind of mom. There is so much diversity within the one umbrella that is motherhood.
Here is a sample of the types of moms I am looking to interview:
-Women who never left the hospital with their baby (miscarriage, still born, put up for adoption)
-Women whose children have a disability or physical illness
-Women whose children have a mental illness
-Women who themselves have a mental or physical illness
-Women who have adopted their child
-Women who became a step-mom
-Women who got pregnant through in-vitro
-Women who are recovering addicts
-Women who are serving or have served time in jail
-Women who are living or have lived in a shelter
-Military moms who move from one base to the next every few years
-Military moms who have been diagnosed with ptsd or whose partner has been diagnosed with ptsd
-Gay/Lesbian/Transgender/Transexual moms
-Multicultural moms
-Mothers who live at or under the line of poverty
I want to hear these stories and share them. I believe that reading about the diverse experiences of motherhood teaches us that we are all human beings doing our best based on our knowledge and abilities. There is no need for judgement, division and comparison. We can learn from each other and grow even stronger as a community.
If you are one of these moms, I want to hear from you. If you know someone who is, please share this post and my contact information with her. I look forward to learning from you,
Anne Walsh
artnsoul@ripnet.com
www.artnsoul.org
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