One Year of Blog Posts Comes to an End

December 30th, 2016

On January 1st 2016, I set off on a journey, to write one post per day for one year. I started off strong, keeping to my schedule. I had an ambitious vision of posts on various topics assigned to every day of the week. I soon realized that trying to write on the weekends when my children were home, my mother was visiting and my husband was off work, only created stress. I was not enjoying my quality time with them because all I could think of was that I had promised to write very day and I should do it.

I soon revised my plan so that I only wrote during weekdays. On the weekends I spent quality time with my friends and family. This worked much better. I still enjoyed writing but my topics became more predictable. I couldn't organize a tour of a cheese producing facility or farm in time for the blog so I focused on concepts, books, articles, experiences. I also journal every day and, at times, I had to remember that this blog was public. I needed to ask myself what I wanted to share with strangers and what I should keep to myself.

I had no idea how many people would read my posts. After a year of writing, I have maybe ten people who read my blog. I have heard the advice of professional bloggers to add photos, provide tips, have risky topics and get lots of advertising on your blog. I just wanted to write. It is therapeutic for me to write. I read a lot and like to share what I have learned. This helps me consolidate the information and I feel like someone who needs to see this might learn from reading my post.

A by-product of this blog is that I feel more like a writer than I did one year ago. It has helped me shape my identity as a writer. I plan to continue writing but not on a daily basis. I have another blog devoted to art therapy. I have neglected that blog this past year. I will alternate between writing on this blog and the art therapy one, writing monthly. I do have followers on my other blog and people post comments so it is more active than this one. I am glad I did this little experiment.

2017 is a big year for me. I want to finish writing, The Mommy Monologues and do more public speaking. I'd like to write, The Daddy Diaries as a follow-up to the first book. Writing this type of book is so fulfilling for me. I meet interesting people, hear heroic, fascinating stories about how strong, resourceful and resilient we are and I get to share them with a broader audience which becomes therapeutic for them and for the people whose stories are in the book. I learn a great deal from these interviews and so I gain from the experience as well.

I'd like to thank the ten individuals who have read my posts consistently. It motivated me to keep going, knowing that someone would read what I wrote. I hope some of the topics were useful to you.
I will tune in regularly with more posts. Until then, have a happy, healthy, peaceful, prosperous new year!!!!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Positive Changes Through Empowering Beliefs

November 1st, 2016

A few weeks ago, I saw a trailer for E-Motion, a documentary. It reveals how our emotions can make us sick. If we hang onto our emotions, they hold us back from realizing our full potential as human beings. We may repeat old patterns in our new relationships, sabotage promising career opportunities or fill our pantry with junk food when our intention was to fill our refrigerator with healthy produce. When we experience a strong negative experience or trauma, our emotions are stored in our body, locked in there until we learn to release them. Our bodies are therefore stuck in the past, convinced that we are still living under the same circumstances when we know consciously that we have moved on, that we are safe and that we can choose to live better lives.

I wasn't able to download the movie but I did check out one of the professionals featured in this documentary, Joe Dispenza. He has published a book titled, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I discovered that he was a speaker on Ted Talks and I was able to listen to his speech. He explains that we have three brains; a thinking brain (our neocortex), a doing brain (the limbic system) and, a being brain (the cerebellum).

As we have experiences, meet new people, read books and listen to public speakers, our thinking brain creates new connections. Over time we learn something, our brain changes. The nerve cells that fire together as we process new information, form a network. These cells create a pattern of reactions. This new information will change your behaviour. Your five senses will process this new experience and release chemicals, attaching an emotion to it. We all do this in January when we start off the new year with great intentions. We promise to drink more water, eat lots of fruit and veggies and hit the gym three days a week. What happens?

When we are stressed, our bodies are out of balance. Our bodies believe our thoughts and more chemicals are released. Our bodies don't know if our thoughts are reflecting reality or not. "When we turn on the stress response and are unable to turn it off, we're headed for disease" says Dispenza.

Dispenza described a process called metacognition. This is what happens during mindful meditation. We are aware of our behaviour, observing it with detachment. This allows us to gain awareness and perceive what behaviours need to be modified if we are to live fuller lives. In order to change our behaviours and make better choices, we must silence old circuits, disband neural connections and create new ones.

As you change your patterns of thinking, the image you hold in your mind about your life, your relationships and your work is changed as are your intentions. When you introduce new connections, the old patterns will be threatened and attempt to sabotage these new links creating doubt in your mind with negative self-talk. However, if you consistently make choices and act according to the newer connections, the bond between neurones will strengthen and the old connections will dissolve. This requires much repetition. These new behaviours will set off positive chemicals leading to a sense of well-being. Once these new patterns become innate, they are integrated into your self-concept. They become a part of who you are.

Let's apply this. Pick an area of your life that is stressful; a relationship, your work or something about your self-image. In the centre of a page, write down the stressful relationship, thought or situation. Draw lines stemming from the centre, extending outward and at the end of each line, write a belief that is attached to this source of stress. Link situations from your past that may have contributed to the creation of these beliefs. Were you teased as a child? Did you feel rejected, like an outsider? Do you avoid meeting new people in order to protect yourself from rejection and pain? Once you recall a few situations that were painful and that shaped your negative beliefs about yourself, get very still and ask yourself where this experience is stored in your body. When you can visualize the wound, breathe through it and release it. You may need to cry or yell, breathe deeply many times, punch a pillow, paint a body outline and fill it with soothing colours, create a vision board of how your life would change if you surrendered this belief or talk it though with a trusted friend or therapist. Next step is my favourite, you decide what beliefs will replace the outdated ones. You support these beliefs with proof. Explore your life and come up with as much proof as possible that these new beliefs are valid. If this is challenging, ask a friend to help. Then, act as if you were a different person with empowering beliefs. As you act in ways that support your new self-image, it will become natural. You may need to fake it at first but you will eventually be living this new reality.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Grateful this Thanksgiving

October 10th, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

I am feeling so grateful this year in particular. My mother joins us every year for our feast. It was great to have her here with us. We designed special cards for each other to express our gratitude. My daughters, mother, husband and myself hand wrote why we were grateful for each member of our family. Then we exchanged our handmade cards. We expressed our gratitude out loud during supper. It was so sweet to hear my girls talk about how lucky they felt to be in our family and to have each other.

We savoured our delicious turkey supper with carrots, potatoes, brussel sprouts and cranberry jelly which my husband had so meticulously prepared. He is such an awesome cook!

As I drove my mother home, I was thankful for the sunshine and multi-coloured trees lining the 416 and Prince of Wales drive. My mother told me she learned a great deal from watching my daughters. My husband took our youngest out to buy clothing. Her birthday is next weekend and she has outgrown her clothing. My mother was meeting them at the store. She watched my daughter decide without hesitation which items of clothing she liked. My mother said she couldn't recall ever being that certain about anything. Growing up, she wasn't asked her opinion. If she had expressed it, chances are, her observations would not have been well received.

As we designed our cards, my daughter couldn't decide what to write and how to shape her paper. I had pumpkin-shaped papers, my husband had flags, my eldest daughter and mom both had hearts, so my youngest thought she might create stars. She didn't like the way her stars turned out. I offered to help but she pretended she didn't want to write cards. We accepted her decision to not make cards. She then came up with her own invention. She sculpted hearts out of red clay, she wrote, I love you!, on each one and placed a feather at the top, a different colour for each of us. My mother was impressed with her creativity and her freedom to express her gratitude her way.

I felt grateful that my daughters were having a good time, playing together, chasing the pets around the house and participating in this art activity. I also felt lucky to live in my home, a lovely family home, warm and spacious, loved and lived-in. I am thankful that my husband is such an excellent cook, that my mother is open to learning from her grand-daughters and sharing her insight with me. I am grateful that my daughters are older now. This means they are more independent and they are able to express their thoughts and feelings with words.

We have been through so much as a family and I am thrilled that we are all here in this moment, enjoying and loving one another. I am proud of my family with our two sweet pets. Our golden lab who is affectionate and excited to see us every day. Our sleepy, mellow cat who allows the girls to dress him up, carry him like a baby and make him dance in the most embarrassing ways (see photo of George with his sombrero on my FB page).

I have one more thing to be grateful for this year. Ever since I have posted about The Mommy Monologues on this blog and on FB, I have been inundated with stories from moms who have been through challenging pregnancies, births and traumatic experiences. They have survived and are sharing their stories to help other moms who are still battling. I am so grateful for their honesty and courage.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Male Role Models

September 7th, 2016

My husband and I were discussing the importance of strong and multiple male role models this morning. Both of our daughters have one male and one female teacher this year, a first. I am thrilled! I think we naturally have lots of female role models. Our caregivers are often women-stay-at-home moms, grandmas, aunts, cousins then, as we leave home, babysitters or daycare staff are mostly women, at school we have predominantly female teachers and, at the doctor or dentist's office, we see female receptionists, nurses and doctors.

Growing up, I didn't have a father. I was lucky that my grandfather retired when I was quite young so we spent a lot of time together, going to the park or visiting relatives. My grandfather was very quiet and polite. He always took his hat off in the presence of a lady and he had a wicked sense of humour. I also had an uncle who treated me like one of his own. He was hard working and successful. He grew up in a poor family and created his own wealth. I respected him for that. Finally, my Godfather became involved in my life as I started University. He is very intellectual and he liked to challenge me, teaching me to think for myself. He was a very spiritual man, not in a preachy way. Each of these men provided a role model. This was important because I ended up marrying a man with my Grandpa's sense of humour, my Uncle's work ethic and my Godfather's intellect.

My husband grew up without a positive male role model. He once told me the men in his family were weak. His father decided he didn't much like children once he'd had one. He was violent to his mom and neglected the children. When my husband saw his dad, he was visiting briefly, just long enough to beat his mom and get her pregnant. Then, he would disappear again. He decided from an early age to do the opposite of what his father had done. Whenever he is faced with a decision, he wonders what his father would do then he goes in the complete opposite direction. My husband had a strong female role mother, his grandmother. She taught him how it feels to be loved. He owes his confidence and success to her. She was a hard worker and he endeavoured to be just like her. That is how he came to be the successful entrepreneur that he is today. However, when he became my husband and, just over a year later, a father, he was lost. How does a husband behave on a daily basis? What do fathers do with their children? We have worked through this together. I wasn't much help because I didn't live with a man during my childhood. We made up our own routines and he developed his own way of fathering through trial and error.

I am happy that my daughters will have two more role models in their lives. Both male teachers have excellent reputations and are quite popular among students. They also have a third male teacher who has taught gym over the past two years but he only sees them for an hour, three times per week. Still, he is yet another example of what a man can be like. Our conversation this morning was about the impact of these teachers on the young boys at that school. There are so many boys growing up without a decent male role model. The father has left or was never around, the parents are divorced and the father gets little to no time them. These boys are surrounded by women at home, daycare and school. How can we expect them to grow into strong, confident young men if they have no guidance? I can just imagine how powerful an excellent male teacher can be to these young men.

Here's to all the teachers, male and female who become powerful templates for our children. Thank you!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Book of the Week-Deliberate Receiving

July 8th, 2016

This week's book caught my eye at Chapter's. The author, Melody Fletcher, uses plain language and you can sense her quirkiness from the very first page. I felt that her book would be interesting and entertaining so I bought it.

The premise of the book is that you can basically create your reality and it very closely resembles The Secret. She instructs readers to figure out what they really want and focus on it. The twist is that she believes that we need to figure out the emotion tied to the experience we desire. For each of us, an experience will bring on an emotion. This has a vibration. If we can tap into that emotion, we can start attracting the experience.

Melody explains that we all start off on a spectrum of emotion and, if what we are trying to manifest doesn't vibrate at the same frequency as our current emotion, it won't be a match. She takes the reader through a series of emotional stages. You identify where you are on the spectrum then progressively raise your vibration by connecting with that emotion. Acknowledging your emotion and releasing it moves you up the spectrum until you reach the emotion that matches your experience.

The book warns us not to sabotage our manifesting through letting our beliefs limit what we think is possible for us or focusing on what we dot want or reacting negatively when we receive what we requested because it comes in a different form than we expected.

I recognized that I was in the frustration stage. My belief is that if I work hard, I will be rewarded and successful. When this doesn't happen I feel frustrated. When someone is in the frustration phase, they take action thinking it will speed things up, they get pushy and impatient. I am definitely in this phase. The encouraging thing is that the next phase after frustration is hope so I am basically on the threshold. I wrote down her advice for this phase which is to stop trying to control this by forcing it to happen, focus on what I want and align my energy to the emotion of this desire then let synchronicity show me the next step. When I fall out of this energy and I start to doubt that manifesting is possible, I can ask myself; "What if this does happen?" Asking this question quickly gets you excited and thinking positively.

The very day that I read this, I learned a lesson about frustration through my daughters. They are home for the summer. My intention is to have fun with them, to create memories over the summer and feel connected to them. I had planned to take them to a movie ten minutes away from our home. They have movies for $5 at the municipal centre over the summer and I like to take advantage of this every year. This week's movie was The Little Prince. I saw the previews and thought it would be a great movie. Within ten minutes, the girls were saying they didn't like the movie and wanted to leave. I was really enjoying it. I asked them to give it a try. They were squirming, whispering complaints to each other and looking over at me, waiting for the signal that they could stand up and leave. I was feeling very frustrated. I had just paid for this movie and, not only were they not giving it a chance, I wasn't going to get to see it. We left. I took them out to get groceries. They complained that the store's air conditioning was too cold. I consulted my grocery list and rushed around to get ingredients for supper. They saw a cosmetics counter and started looking through the eye liner and lipstick. I told them I was done with my groceries. They weren't cold anymore, they wanted to linger and explore the cosmetics. I took them home.

As I prepared lunch, I thought about my morning and how different my vibration was from what I had intended. I realized that I was experiencing a parallel in my personal and business life. I felt frustrated by my daughters' lack of compliance with what I had envisioned. I wanted to bond with them and have fun. To me, that meant going to the movies. I was controlling the experience. I decided to just focus on what I wanted for the rest of the day. They were playing together so I focused on de-cluttering closets in the house. I have been wanting to do this for some time but I was always playing with the girls. I got a bunch of de-cluttering done, they played together and then they initiated play with me. They wanted to become mermaids and we dressed up and pretended to be mermaids. We had a great time, they led me through it and I was able to achieve the experience I was seeking. My eldest later sang songs for me and impressed me with her beautiful voice. Then my youngest sat on my lap while I read the pile of books she selected.

I learned my lesson. I get clear about what I want, I figure out the feeling that this experience would grant me and I tune in to my emotions. The better I feel, the closer I am to manifesting. Challenging emotions are a message that I am not moving in the right direction. This book was entertaining at first then I felt overwhelmed and confused. Chapter 11, the one that teaches you to move up the spectrum, was the most interesting part of the book and where I learned the most.

I will continue to apply its principles and see where it leads.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Story Corps

June 24th, 2016

I love Ted Talks! I listen to them while I clean the house or prepare meals and, occasionally when I go to bed later than the other members of my family. I learn so much from the various speakers who cover every topic imaginable from upcoming, state of the art technology, the importance of vulnerability, the advantage of online learning for children and neuroscience to species of underwater creatures.

Recently, I heard a fabulous speech by Dave Isay, the founder of Story Corps. He talks about his own experience and how it taught him the power of narrative. He started interviewing people for radio. He took on special projects interviewing people who had been through the same difficult experience. He learned so much about them through this process. He interviewed his own father who has since passed and he now has an even deeper commitment to do this work. He set up some booths in busy locations where a facilitator would help two individuals have a meaningful conversation. Dave shared a few emotional stories with the audience. A woman who has grown to love the young man who shot her son. An elderly man who expresses his love for his wife. A mother interviewed by her high functioning son with Asperger.

These conversations are authentic and deeply moving. David talks about a woman who interviews people in hospice care. She shares what she has learned from this experience in a book about what is really important in life. The people who are interviewed get a copy of their conversation but a second copy is sent to the archives. This means future generations could witness this interview. There are so many applications to this from interviewing people in long term care, schools or hospitals to the homeless and incarcerated.

Story Corps has booths set up in various locations, however, it has also created an app that enables anyone to create an interview and submit it to the archives. You follow the prompts, select from a list of potential questions and then send the story. This tool could be used by the military to document the healing process of soldiers with PTSD. It could be used by teachers to record the changes in their students from grade 1 to grade 8. Projects like my, Interviews with 40+ year olds, or my Mommy Monologues, could use this format.

Storytelling is such an ancient and powerful ritual. We learn so much about life, each other and ourselves through stories. I would love to set up a booth in a local long term care facility and interview every older adult who is living there. You could record an entire generation one facility at a time. My brain is bubbling with possibilities right now but it doesn't have to be big. If you'd like to interview a loved one today, just download the Story Corps app and get started. Everyone has a story. Share yours today.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Father's Day

June 17th, 2016

I never knew my father. As a child, on Father's Day I either created a card for my uncle Jack or my grandfather. It was normal for me, no one made a big deal out of it so it didn't bother me. When my husband and I got married, my uncle Jack walked me down the aisle. It was a special moment that I will treasure forever.

My husband did know his father. I don't think he knew him well because he was rarely home, and when he was, there was violence, tension and, nine months later, a new sibling.

When we had our first child, I saw the most amazing look on my husband's face. I had lost a lot of blood and required stitching so no one paid attention to him. He was walking around with our daughter all bundled up, showing her off. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to do that but by the time the nurses noticed he had gotten around the unit and everyone had met Molly. I have a photo of Vincent holding Molly in his arms, beaming with pride.

Fatherhood was challenging for my husband at first. He had plenty of negative role models and he desperately wanted to be a good dad. I had no idea what dads did on a daily basis. I was close to my uncle Jack, my grandfather and my Godfather but I didn't live with them so I had no clue how a father interacts with his daughter day to day.

Over time, Vincent found his own way to bond with our daughters but their relationship didn't bloom until the girls were older. Now, he is known for his silliness. He makes the girls laugh. They know they can depend on him- he does what he says and shows up when he's supposed to. He is very affectionate and always kisses their booboos. He tells them they are "clever" and that he loves them. He is also more interested in fashion than I am. He's a stylist so he knows what is in and what isn't. He buys the girls cool outfits and accessories. I am clueless when it comes to fashion. I don't know or care what's in and I don't wear accessories (or makeup for that matter).

Father's Day was never really special to me before but, now that the children and I are celebrating my husband, it has a new meaning for me. I am proud that my children will grow up knowing their father and that he is a positive influence in their lives. I was shopping for cards from my children and from myself for my husband and it struck me how different Father's Day cards are from Mother's Day cards. The messages for dads are about feeling safe, cared for and protected. The Mother's Day cards are more about being nurtured and loved. Both roles are important. We balance each other out.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, spending time with their children, working hard, being a great role model and source of love for the next generation!

Anne Walsh
www.artsnoul.org

Thank You Teachers!

June 10th, 2016

The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.

Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.

Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.

I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.

My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.

We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Worth

May 30th, 2016

I hope everyone out there had a great weekend! The sun felt so fantastic, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it!

I am reading The Abundance Code, a book that addresses myths we believe about money then challenges us to rewrite our beliefs to reflect the true abundance of the world in which we live. I am loving it so far but when she uses financial terms I am absolutely lost. Hopefully, it will all make sense as I read on. One of the chapters explores the concept of worth, as in, do we feel worthy of money? If not, we sabotage all opportunities to earn more money.

This got me thinking about our sense of worth in general, not just as it relates to money. There are many ways in which we gain our feelings of worthiness. If I think about this theme in a chronological order than I would think our first sense of worthiness comes from our parents. They love us therefore we are worthy. If we are raised in a dysfunctional family where a parent's love is rarely expressed or, worse, the parents are emotionally abusive then there will be some serious damage to our self esteem. Then we start to feel worthy based on our behaviour, whatever is praised makes us feel worthy, whatever is punished leads to feelings of shame or remorse. As a teenager, belonging and inclusion create a sense of worth, popularity with the opposite gender, looks, clothes, the factors of our worthiness can get pretty superficial.

As a young adult, getting into a certain College or University can create a sense of worth. Working at a great job that others approve of either due to status or income or both increases our sense of worth. The following years are filled with steps on the ladder or worthiness, marriage, a mortgage, children, traveling, promotions, wealth.

Then comes the moment when we realize that all of our worth has come from external sources. We hate our job that our parents loved so much! We have gained weight and our health is at risk. We are burned out. The children we have devoted so much energy in raising are off living their own lives. So, there we are in our job, making good money, feeling empty and so very tired. There is often a pivotal moment, either through divorce, illness, empty nest or the death of a loved one. This moment lights a fire in us. Wait a minute, this is not my life. I want more or something different. It starts as discomfort, this life no longer fits. Then we start talking about it with others and realize that they are also dissatisfied with their lives. Next, we take action, sometimes in small steps, for others it comes in risky leaps and bounds.

All external sources of worth are temporary. Feeling worthy based on the approval of others always leads to disappointed because they will not always agree with you and you may need to take action that they don't understand. What made you popular in high school won't work when you are a middle-aged adult. Your looks will change over time. You can lose the house, get laid off from work and get divorced. So what's left?

You are worthy because there is no one else like you. You have a combination of strengths, traits and skills that are all yours. There is a reason why certain actions, people or environments light you up inside, these are guideposts to your purpose. You are worthy no matter what, whether you are rich or poor, busy or between jobs, gorgeous or average. When you acknowledge and celebrate your worthiness, you naturally make decisions about the people and activities that are worthy of your time and attention. That makes life interesting and worth living.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Hay House Withdrawal

May 26th, 2016

Today was the last day of podcasts on the Hay House World Summit. What a gift these interviews have been. Every day, while organizing the art materials in my shop, driving to and from various destinations and cleaning the house, I soaked in the wisdom of best selling self-help authors on the online summit, a series of audio podcasts. I believe there were four series totallIng 100 authors.

My dream is to publish with Hay House some day and join the summit. They have a Writer's Workshop where you can present your manuscript and win a publishing package or, better yet, they take you on as one of their authors. I can feel the book stirring within me and I am working towards it without pushing, all in good time.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been guided through various meditations and visualizations, I have learned about my self-worth, my brain, my body, my soul and my relationships. I am so excited by what I have learned. It comes down to this: we all come from love and our essence is love, we have come here for a reason, we each have something to contribute and it's our responsibility to find our purpose by following what gives us joy and exploring how our experiences and our unique skills can be used to serve others.

Each author helps us on this quest to reach our highest selves and achieve our mission. We are taught to love ourselves through mirror work, affirmations and healthy nutrition by the master herself, Louise Hay.

We learn about meditation through various authors who talk about the clarity they gain when they slow down, get centred and connect with their wise mind. Others have us connect with our bodies to help us heal. There is so much hope about healing through nutrition, visualization, exploration of our emotional blockages and rituals led and witnessed by shamans.

There are so many interesting interviews about self-expression and creativity through storytelling, writing, journaling, dancing and chanting. I have recognized the importance of a sisterhood as a mother, writer, soul, entrepreneur and spouse. I am inspired to speak my truth, to share my journey with other women, to seek out a mentor, embrace my sexuality and wildness, to nourish my body, centre my mind and be gentle with myself. I see these successful women and I strive to stay on my path.

I was really drawn to the visualizations. In one, you shrink yourself, visit the inside of your body and notice any anomalies. You inhale healing light and exhale what you no longer need. You physically change the look of your cells, clean them up and breathe love into them. Then you exit and go back to your usual size. Such a powerful meditation.

In another meditation, you remove the energy hooks that are holding you back. You reclaim your energy from the various sources that are draining you whether it's a person or a belief. You then welcome the energy back into your body. Feels awesome.

So much soul searching and I owe it all to this free, online series. Thank you Hay House!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Friendships

May 24th, 2016

What did you do over the long weekend? We had amazing weather! We seem to have suddenly fallen into summer. We ate outdoors and the trampoline got plenty of use and, we hung out at Baxter's Beach for the first time this season. The Ice Cream Float was out, that is the name of a boat. It belongs to a super sweet man who crosses the river from his home to Baxter's Beach in his boat in order to sell ice cream to hoards of overheated and eagerly awaiting children. The beach is my zone and I could spend the entire day (my whole life) there. My children usually want to go home after a few hours. Sigh!

I was thinking about friendships over the weekend. My youngest daughter had her friend Ruby over to the house. They are both seven years old and were so excited to spend time together. They created masterpieces at our dining room table then had some lunch while watching Teen Titans. They spent a good 30 minutes on the trampoline then I challenged them with a treasure hunt. They had to jump rope, pick flowers from our property, do somersaults across the lawn, race on bouncy balls and swing to another galaxy on our swing set. They played with dolls for a while then they drew with chalk on the back deck. They were having a great time. By the time Ruby's Mom came over to pick her up, Ruby wanted to sleep over. My daughters and her had planned their whole evening while they drew flowers and rainbows all over the deck. When her mother said no, Ruby was very disappointed. My eldest daughter is 10 years old but she had played with my youngest and her friend and they had quickly bonded. I truly enjoyed our day. I love being around young ones because they are in the moment, savouring each activity, participating fully. They love each other so deeply and their friendships are so precious. It's really heartwarming.

That evening, my husband set out to meet a friend of his who was visiting from Norway. They have been friends for a long time. They don't see each other often, due to distance, but when they spend time together it's as if no time has elapsed. They both had children later in life and married in the same year. Becoming fathers has changed them both, deepening their friendship. He came home the next morning seeming happier and even more appreciative of our daughters. I caught a glimpse of him holding our youngest daughter, smiling, content.

My husband has also developed a new relationship recently with the father of one of our eldest daughter's friends. They both love music and beer and they are like two children when they get together, joking, excited and happy. This has been a great friendship for them. They go out every two weeks on their "Bro-date". I can tell they look forward to it and they both get something out of it. I am glad that they have found each other.

I meet a friend of mine every week. We go for walks and we talk about our lives, our challenges, our aspirations and the really cool people we have met. I look forward to our walks because it is great exercise for me and I feel great afterwards. However, I mostly enjoy our time together. Our conversations make me think and force me to view the world in a different way. Last week, another lady I had met through volunteering at my daughter's school asked if she could join us. I look forward to getting to know her. She is one of those people who has an open face, friendly, honest and kind. I am excited for this week's walk. I also stay in touch with friends from previous phases of my life. We catch up on Facebook, via e-mail or, if they are in Ottawa, we connect for coffee once in a while. Again, it feels as though no time has elapsed every time we meet.

Seeing my friends fills me up. I have more energy, I am more patient with my husband and children after a date with a friend and, I connect with different parts of myself through my friendships. Some friends are more intellectual, we will bounce ideas off one another and grow in awareness together. Other friends are silly and naughty and they teach me to relax and enjoy my life. My creative friends set me on fire. I leave our meet ups feeling energized and motivated to express myself in bold new ways.

I can see how my daughters learn about themselves through friendships as well. They learn to communicate, share and empathize. They feel special because this person wants to be their friend. They get a sense of belonging and they identify with what they have in common whether that's a love of gymnastics, a favourite colour or having long blond hair.

Friendships are so important for us as human beings. I wanted to celebrate the role of friendships in today's post. If you don't have a few close friends, participate in activities you enjoy in order to meet like-minded people. Don't be afraid to approach people and ask them if they'd like to grab a coffee or go for a walk. There are lots of fascinating people out there just waiting to be discovered, like you.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

The Hay House Summit

May 12th, 2016

Every year, Hay House, a major publishing company of self-help books, organizes a free, online summit. You can watch movies or listen to interviews on a variety of topics. Each interview lasts approximately 50 minutes and is packed with information.

I was inspired by Wayne Dyer's movie, The Shift. It was the first thing I watched. Dr Dyer teaches us how to move from a place of entitlement to an attitude of service. We each have something to offer and our life should be a joyful exploration of how we can use our skills to help others.

I listened to a fascinating interview with Alberto Villoldo who explains how our body is able to heal itself and even re-grow organs. We are programmed to grow and develop in the early years in order to reproduce then these functions shut down. However, Dr. Villoldo explains how we can turn these abilities on even during the early years in order to maintain our health and vitality. Amazing!

Next, I heard about Antony William's ability to see people's illnesses and recommend treatments. He is a medical medium. I was also impressed with Dr. David Hamilton's description of his research into the placebo effect. Apparently, he was busy creating medicine to help with people experience issues with their heart. He noticed that believing in a doctor or medication was enough to produce statistically significant results. He talked about the importance of gratitude, kindness and compassion to promote health and/or to help the heart heal post-surgery. There was a really powerful, healing visualization exercise at the end of his interview. I absolutely believe that what we visualize impacts our bodies.

In the second batch of interviews, I learned how to unlock my access to abundance by recognizing myths that I absorbed during my childhood in an interview with Julie Ann Cairns. Her words really struck a chord with me. In all our relationships, we experience frustration and observe patterns that get repeated. The patterns stem from childhood lessons and our frustration to the results we get from those patterns of behaviour is an indication that we are stuck and need to release some old beliefs. I am going to buy her book, Breaking the Abundance Code. She claims that if we work through the seven myths outlined in her book, our negative beliefs about money can be challenged, resulting in a better relationship with money.

Joseph Clough spoke about how to match the frequency of what we want in order to attract it into our lives. He encourages us to stay focused on our goals with our thoughts as well as our actions. We need to make the time to pursue these goals by cutting out activities that do not move us forward (like watching television). He warns against being rigid. We may be aiming too low so we need to remain open to even better possibilities that may present themselves to us. He suggests that we look for a lesson in every obstacle and never give up on our dreams.

Katie Dalebout wrote a book about journalling which is a passion of mine. She offers 55 directives in her book and described some of them during the interview. An interesting one was, If you knew this was going to be the best day of your life, how would you dress, what would you do and who would you see? I was familiar with the benefits of journalling therefore I didn't take as many notes during this interview. However, Katie shared how she came to write her book. She attended a Hay House Writer's Workshop. I have been contemplating this very same thing. They sometimes have them in New York. The next one is in Maui so too far for me at this time but, as soon as there is a workshop closer to Ottawa, I will sign up. Hearing about her experiences at the Writer's Workshop and the process she went through to become a published author was very motivating for me.

Lastly, Karen Henson Jones shared her transition from being a busy woman, working at a fast-paced job to having a near-death experience and needing to reconfigure her life. She travelled and shares what each trip taught her about life. She speaks about compassion and past lives. She believes our experiences and relationships are meant to help us grow, that we pre-selected them before coming into this life. We have a chart or life map and everything is part of the map. She takes us through three powerful healing visualizations at the end of her interview. I was so grateful for her talk.

I love the Hay House Summits. There are so many interesting presenters. You choose the topics of interest to you. You can take notes and, if you know someone else who is listening to these interviews, you can discuss them afterwards. I am so grateful to Hay House for providing this enriching experience for free. The fact that it's online means I can listen to the interviews while I am driving, cleaning the house, cooking supper or, after the children have gone to bed. I hope you all go to the hay house website (www.hayhouseworldsummit.com) and take advantage of this tremendous opportunity.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Night Talks

March 13th, 2016

Every night, my girls want to talk before bed. I used to read stories to them then, we started to make up our own stories, now we have graduated to talking about life. My eldest usually initiates this: "Can we just talk, Mom?" What I find interesting is that I am around throughout the day on weekends, trying to connect with them. This can be difficult at times because they want to do different activities and they each want me to choose their activity. I have to bargain, promising to draw with my eldest then play dolls with my youngest. During the day, they seem so mature. I get a few eye rolls or they resist what I am asking them to do. "Brush my teeth? Why? I'm not going out today?" When night comes around, they want to cuddle and talk. I love it!

They talk about school. I find out who they play with at recess, those friends are sometimes different from the ones who come over for playdates. They tell me their stories about who they "broke up" with and why. They hint at some girls who are mean to them. They ask questions they may not ask during the day when we can see each other's faces.

They confess their fears and share their dreams. My eldest is trying to decide how famous she wants to be. She hates the thought of papparazzi being in her face with their cameras but she is determined to become a superstar. She once described her entire tour schedule. Apparently, her entire tour ends in Brazil. We have never been to Brazil or even talked about Brazil but she studied her map of the world and chose a variety of locations to ensure she spreads herself evenly around the globe. Both my daughters don't want to have children because they don't want their bellies to look like mine :). My eldest wants to get married, my youngest isn't interested in marriage. They both swear they will never move away. They want to stay in their room at the house for the rest of their lives.

I enjoy these conversations because I get to convey my values without preaching, just by responding to their questions and stories. Sometimes I tell them about a mistake I made when I was little and what happened as a consequence. Lately, I've been trying to introduce them to music. On Friday, as we were celebrating the start of March Break, I wanted to share Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd. They were not interested in hearing my "old, boring" music. My husband tries to tell them about David Bowie and the Beatles (more eye rolling from the girls). At least, my eldest is hooked on Michael Jackson. I was a huge fan of his when I was her age. One night, we watched a bunch of his videos, singing and dancing along as a family and she was hooked. Now she imitates him, as I used to do at her age, she has a poster of him in her room and she wishes she could have met him when he was alive.

I am happy and proud to have our night talks. Right now the girls fight to spend time with me but, one day, soon enough, they will be teenagers and they will be harder to reach. I hope our talks create a ritual that maintains the lines of communication open for when we need it the most.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Interview with a 40+ Woman

March 11th, 2016

Today, I had an opportunity to sit with a woman I have come to respect. CT is the most positive, open, non-judgmental woman I have ever met and I enjoy her company. We sat in a sunny room, eating scones, drinking lattes and I got to ask my questions.

As I suspected, CT doesn't care about age. She knows people from different age groups and, to her, 40 is just another number. At the age of 43, she hasn't made any major changes in her life. She simply has more clarity about what she wants to do. She feels more committed, less willing to let things "not happen". CT is also less worried about letting people know her views. She now values her experiences. She feels more reflective. She has a growing awareness about how variable time can be. "In your 40s you experience friends and family getting sick".

I asked CT what she has learned about aging from the women around her. "Most of the people I know, aging doesn't bother them. Their metabolism changes, they can't do the same things as before. That may bother them but it's ok. The experience of aging for women has lots of constructs we can't avoid. We gather. My mom still has friends from University. A guy friend of mine meets up with his childhood friend for breakfast once a week. Many enjoy it, being retired. They get to be involved in projects they like". CT talks about friends whose partners are ill or who have their own health issues. "It is not an easier time of life but you have experience to sit on".

CT doesn't think she is any different from her younger self. "It depends on the situation. Personality traits come out more strongly depending on the situation". She is increasingly aware of things like who she is, aspects that are her strengths or other aspects that need some work. Given the chance to start over she doesn't think she would change anything. Asked what she is proud of, CT says she's pretty happy. "I like the people around me, I like the kids around me". Her friends and family are most important to her at this time in her life as well as her health. She turns to friends and family for support when she needs it. When she wants to recharge her batteries, CT goes out for a walk. Walking is integral to her well-being.

I ask CT why she thinks so many women make drastic changes in their 40s. She believes that hormones play a role for sure. "Experiences in your 40s have some meaning. There are changes in your body and your life, good changes but you can't control them. This affects us because we are socialized to control things and we can't. It's worse now, we're told there are pills to change things. Also, you know things now and they can be in conflict". She now understands some of the decisions her parents made when she was growing up. "I now understand that you own your mistakes, you own your choices".

When asked to offer advice to the next generation of teenagers, CT was quiet, contemplating her answer. She varied between no advice "because shitty things can happen" and simply recommending that they "trust in possibilites." She hopes to provide support for the next generation. "They have their own stuff to figure out. This belongs to the 'can't control' category. We all die eventually and when we do, we can leave values behind but we can't control what happens".

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Learning

March 9th, 2016

I love reading, writing and watching documentaries. I am very curious and, thankfully, my husband and children share my thirst for knowledge. I am puzzled by our school system. Our teachers are trained to transfer their knowledge to students but we keep increasing class sizes while decreasing support. I have two daughters. I love them and do my best as their parent but it's a tough job being a mom (or dad). I can't imagine being alone with thirty students, having to be a good role model, managing behaviours and teaching skills to these students so they perform well during testing by the Ministry of Education. I think it's time we take a good look at what we are trying to achieve and support teachers in reaching these goals.

Children are naturally curious. They observe and ask questions, they touch everything. They do NOT like to sit still for long periods of time and, if you talk to them for longer than five minutes, you can be sure they are not listening. They are busy using their active imagination. We know children love playing outdoors, they learn from one another and by observing adults, they want to explore new objects and environments. However, we design classrooms to encourage sitting and place desks strategically so students are all facing and listening to the adult.

As a college professor, I challenged myself to teach in ways that involved every student in my class. I would start with a story to set up the theme of the day and engage my auditory students. I showed a brief video clip or drawing to reach the visual students. They could download note outlines which helped them organize the information. We woud then have an activity to provide hands-on instruction for kinesthetic learners. In this way, every student learned the same information in their own way.

Once my daughters started school, I noticed their attitude toward their homework. They would tell me they spent a lot of time doing these exact same activities at school. They didn't understand the need to do more of the same thing at home. I watched their enthusiasm for learning fade over time. This worried me because I wanted them to stay curious and excited about learning new things. I started looking into different types of schools.

Montessori schools organize their classrooms into learning areas so students can visit the different sections and learn by interacting with the supplies. The teacher respects the interests of each student and facilitates learning. One example that impressed me was how students learned about geography. Instead of speaking about a place that exists far away as an abstract concept, students were assembling a puzzle of a world map so they learned where each continent and country belonged. They also ate foods from various areas, did art about the flags of different countries and practiced traditions. The students were moving around the class, learning at their own pace, following their interests.

What appealed to me about Waldorf schools was their connection to nature and creativity. There is a return to craftsmanship as students learn to bake bread, weave scarves and carve sculptures out of wood. Students are encouraged to express themselves and teachers support their development in holistic ways. There is a rich culture and many traditions within this school setting. I took my girls to a few Waldorf festivals and noticed that many age groups were learning the same topic at varying levels of maturity reflected in the expectations placed on them during the activity. It felt like a very respectful, wholesome learning environment.

The Reggio approach is my favorite. Reggio schools focus on the curiosity of students. They develop entire lesson plans around the interests of their students. Students may ask a question or perhaps something is happening in the world at that time that the students are trying to understand. The teacher organizes a project that the classroom can work on collaboratively. Teachers and students are exploring this topic together, learning from each other. This is a very exciting, active way of learning. What I love most is that all students are involved in the learning process in a non-competitive way.

Teachers start out with a passion for learning and teaching as well as a love of children. They need support through manageable class sizes, teacher's assistants and access to exciting resource materials. Also, if teachers can work together on lesson plans, each one building on what the other has taught, there will be more collaboration, less stress and better results.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Home Ownership Course

February 29th, 2016

Today, I was able to return the art that was created by grades 4,5 and 6 at Oxford-on-Rideau Public School. Their art was produced during my workshop on rural poverty and affordable housing in order to raise awareness about these issues in our community. Their flags were displayed at Geronimo Coffee House for the month of February, during the Share the Love campaign. I was very excited to bring the flags back to the school so the students can bring them home and share them with their parents.

During the Share the Love meeting at The Branch Restaurant on February 22nd, Mario Zambonin, the new manager of our ReStore in Kemptville talked about the importance of home ownership and the stability it provided for children. His feedback really made me think. As a child, we moved every 2-3 years and we always rented. I remember feeling that our living arrangements were temporary. I couldn't paint or decorate my walls in a way that might damage the paint. If something broke, we had to call the landlord. Sometimes, if a neighbour wasn't looking after his or her apartment, all of us had to get fumigated due to an infestation in their house. You could hear the neighbours argue. I recall a particular neighbour when I was seven years old. The man beat his girlfriend. She would hit the wall so hard that our apartment shook. It was upsetting to hear him yell at her and to hear her screams as she tried to get away or as she hit the wall. Hearing a grown woman cry was stressful and confusing to me. There is no privacy when you live in a cheaply built apartment.

The cleanliness of the lobby and hallways is up to the building owner. The landscaping and maintenance also reflect decisions made by the building's owner. The same goes for the maintenance of the building's elevators. You can never just take action and get a situation resolved because it's never your place, you're just passing through. As a child, you are aware that you are living among people. You can't jump too hard or too long because there are neighbours downstairs. You can't play your music too long because the neighbours might complain. Bouncing a ball off the wall? Also a bad idea.

When I moved into my first home, I had to learn to be a homeowner. It wasn't just a matter of paying the down payment, setting money aside for taxes or covering the cost of utilities. It didn't occur to me until winter approached that I would need to hire someone to plough our driveway and that, next Spring, I'd need to find someone to mow the lawn. I had no idea there was a filter that needed to be changed for the furnace in the basement. I learned to maintain our home and develop pride of ownership. If there was something I didn't like about our home, I could change it or hire someone to help me. If there was ice on my driveway, I was the one responsible for coating the ice with salt or sand. If something broke, I had to figure out how to fix it or hire someone to do it.

My husband and I now own our second home and I no longer feel trepidation when I decide to paint my walls or hang a shelf. I have learned to tile floors, paint walls and ceilings, use a lawn mower, shovel a driveway, change the furnace filter, replace the water softener and have taxes included in my mortgage so the tax bill doesn't come as one big chunk. People who grew up with home owning parents are used to this but all of it is new to people like me who lived in run down apartments.

As Mario talked about the importance of home ownership, I reflected on this learning and thought it would be worthwhile to teach a Home Ownership course. It's great to help a family become home owners but it's important to ease the transition to new habits and a different mindset to ensure their comfort and success as a home owning family. Just like you adults can benefit from learning about their cars when they earn their license, skills like changing a tire, checking fluids, boosting a battery etc, home owners can learn how to care for, maintain and perform simple fixes to their home. Food for thought!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Creativity

February 1st, 2016

I can't believe it's been a month already. Thank you to all of you who read this blog. It's encouraging to see that I am getting some views every day.

When I decided to become an art therapist, I thought I should get some basic art skills. I signed up for the Fine Arts Portfolio program at The Ottawa School of Art for the following Fall. Over the summer, I visited an uncle of mine who is an artist. He was a bit lonely so I went over once a week. We drove to a nearby restaurant for breakfast then he showed me some art techniques.

There are two types of brains, he was the kind of artist who can look at a block of marble, imagine the shape of the sculpture he wants to make and nip away at it until the shape is revealed. Not me. So, initially, he was showing me how to mix plaster to create plaster tablets. Then he would pick an image from an art magazine and we would carve out the layers of details and perspective to create a landscape or a scene. You had to remove the plaster from the farthest points in the image and work outward. This process frustrated me at the time. It was the first project he showed me and I thought I had made a terrible mistake. Seeing my lack of enthusiasm (and talent), my uncle moved on to another medium.

He collected egg cartons, tore them up into bits, threw them in the blender with water and whizzed the mixture until it was like porridge. We would then strain the mix and use it like paper-mache to sculpt masks. He had a styrofoam head coated with vaseline and he encouraged me to pile on the paper pulp. I did as I was told and then I realized that 30 minutes had gone by without me noticing. He stood back and smoked his cigarette. I turned around, stunned, looking at the clock. He said: "You've done good work". I had. He suggested I step back to admire the mask I had created. The process of adding lumps of paste and shaping it with my fingers was so much fun. I enjoyed the texture of it, the immediacy of the experience and the fact that I never needed to ask him what to do next. It was a very intuitive process and I was hooked.

Oddly enough, what I remember from my time at the art school, is how much I enjoyed the other students. We would head out to the coffee shop between classes and have superb conversations. They were really interesting people. I find you learn more from artists than from structured classes or at least I did.

Recently, I've been looking for exciting new art projects. I contacted a local artist after I saw photos of her felt hats. This intrigued me. I asked her if she would teach me or allow me to observe her process. She suggested I look for tips on You Tube. I found an amazing video tutorial done by a young girl named Olivia. I am excited to try creating felt hats with my daughters. I also found a cool tutorial about using alcohol ink with stamps and images. Thirdly, I saw a really interesting video, teaching how to create stencils with a glue gun and using spray paint to add colours.

Needless to say, I will be busy getting messy over the coming month. I just know my daughters will enjoy learning with me. It's never too late to learn. Google art techniques and see what inspires you. Then jump in and enjoy!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

40+ year old woman-MG

January 29th 2016

For MG, the first 40 years of her life were amazing. She accomplished many of her goals and felt supported by her friends and family. She did not anticipate any changes as she reached her 40th birthday. She imagined that people who struggled with this milestone were those who were not enjoying their life. However, she was surprised when, three days after her 40th birthday, she felt like she'd been hit in the face by a sheet of plywood. She was having an identity crisis and she needed help. She spoke to her sister who suggested she seek professional support. That is exactly what she did.

MG realized that while she had accomplished a great deal, she was not fulfilling her own goals, rather, she was succumbing to the pressures of society; finding a partner and having children. She strived to "perform" in every aspect of her life. She started to question her values and realized she didn't know herself as well as she thought. It was difficult but, with support from her therapist, MG emerged from these dark years with more awareness and new tools. Her partner wondered if their relationship would survive but he stuck around and supported her. They have both grown through this process and are now a stronger couple. MG uncovered the key to happiness. She started doing things for herself because she wanted to do them. She discovered that others can't make you happy. This freed her to be with loved ones without unrealistic expectations.

She wouldn't change a thing about her life. She came from a big family with lots of boys and she feels this may have helped her succeed as an athlete. She believes the path she has travelled is exactly as it should be. If she could transfer her wisdom to younger women, her advice would be to stop relying on others for their own happiness. MG has noticed that we are often wounded by our expectations of others. Everyone should create their own happiness.

MG's pride and joy are her children who are now teenagers. She deduced that women change in their 40s because there is no time for awareness when they are younger. Young women seek to satisfy their parents, young adults are busy achieving goals on their career path, once they become someone's partner, they wish to please him and, as a mother, women forget all about themselves and their partners. As children grow up and become more independent, women become aware that they have time to reflect and they start to live more consciously.

MG has learned the art of self-care. When she doesn't listen to her needs, she becomes exhausted and she is unavailable to her partner and children. The biggest change in her over the years has been her level of conscious awareness. She used to function on auto-pilot going through her checklist of expectations; what a woman should do, check, what a mother should do, check, what a partner should do, check. She has since learned the importance of being selfish in a balanced way. If a woman wishes to be happy, finding time for herself is essential.

MG would love to help build the self-esteem and self-confidence of young girls. She feels that they can do anything as long as they believe in themselves. Armed with self-love, young girls will make excellent choices, reaching their goals and caring for themselves. MG feels grateful that she had positive female role-models. She learned that older women assert themselves, are authentic and, expect to be treated as equals. She saw her mother play a submissive role in her family and she was adamant about not taking on that role in her own life. She has high hopes for women.

Now MG takes time to participate in countless physical activities. She loves being in nature, it helps her to feel grounded. It helps her focus on what is important. She is grateful for the support of her sister and partner. She has taken charge of her life. She feels stronger, happier, more aware and, comfortable in her own skin.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

40+ Woman-LL

January 26th, 2016

Last night, I had an inspiring conversation with a 46 year old professional woman. LL was excited to celebrate her 40th birthday. It was a positive experience for her. She is not frightened by the aging process. She welcomes it with gratitude. She feels happy to be alive. "Aging is the greatest gift ever and we must celebrate every year, wrinkles and all!"

At 46 years of age, LL is much more confident. She is less concerned with what others think. She fearlessly makes decisions because she learns from her mistakes, they become part of her journey. It's easier to move forward if you know you can't go wrong. She wouldn't change anything about her life because she wouldn't be who she is without each of those experiences.

LL divorced her husband of 20 years when she was 43 years old . She moved away with her sons, within the same neighbourhood, so her youngest could stay in the same school. She believes women suddenly make important decisions in their 40s because when they are younger they are too busy to think about their life. There is so much to do: studies, work, marriage, mothering young children etc. When their children have grown, women start asking questions: Is this it? What do I want? What would I like the next portion of my life to look like? Who would I like to spend the rest of my life with? What do I like or hate about my life right now? She believes hormones also play a role in this because she has noticed a link between anxiety and getting her period. Is it possible that not getting one's period is correlated with more confidence and bolder decisions?

LL supervises many younger women. She recognizes that they think very differently from her. Her advice to teenagers or young women is to "listen to that little voice inside, we all have it. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Stop worrying about what others think. Just accept yourself for who you are.
If you want to change something about your life, just do it". LL is a totally different person now
compared to 20 years ago. If she knew back then what she knows now, her journey would have looked very different. She has learned to love and appreciate herself. She pruned her friendships and realized she often treated her friends better than she treated herself. She would never treat her friends as poorly as she has treated herself in the past.

Her legacy is to teach young women to manage their expectations. They want everything now. They put too much pressure on themselves to have the fancy car, the big house and the impressive job title
at work. LL wishes she could help them understand that everything is temporary. It changes the way you approach life if you perceive it as temporary. Otherwise, you get married and think: This is my life or, you have young children and imagine life will always be this way.

LL has a successful career but she measures her success through her children. She is proud of her sons, aged 17 and 22. They are not perfect but they have survived many challenges and have turned out well. LL is going through a transition right now. She is shifting her focus away from her children
who were her main preoccupation for many years. She admits feeling a little guilty as she states that she wants to focus on herself, to put her oxygen mask on first, not in a selfish way but in order to
restore balance in her life. This shift impacts every aspect of her life. She has a wonderful career but she is eager to become a life coach. She believes it's important to stop and assess your life. It helps you decide where to spend your time and energy.

After her divorce, she was so scared of being alone she was physically, violently sick for weeks. Now she doesn't feel the need to be with someone in order to be happy. She'd love to share her life with someone but she no longer feels dependent on anyone else. She has been dating a new man for eight months and, even though her sons are still important to her, she is preparing for the next phase of her life.

She has an extraordinary network of friends who are very supportive of her. She also has a very active lifestyle. This keeps her heathy and energized. She enjoys biking, skiing, swimming, doing
yoga and meditation. The older she gets, the more physical activity she needs. She likes to challenge herself every year. This year, she plans to complete a triathlon.

Now that she is older and wiser, having lost several friends over the years, she recognizes the importance of not putting off to tomorrow what you can do today. When she was younger, she didn't understand why her father took her mother out for a date every Saturday to socialize with friends. She didn't understand why they had to visit her grandparents so often. Now that her father has progressed to the last stages of Alzheimer's and her mother is diagnosed with Parkinson's, she understands a lot. She hopes to eventually use her wisdom to empower other women through her coaching practice.

It has been a pleasure to interview you. Best of luck!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Interview with a 40+ woman-FD

I met with another fascinating woman today. FD was married at 19 years of age and had three children by the age of 25. She was happy, living in a suburb close to everything. She earned her own money by operating a home day care and starting a newspaper route. She soon realized that her husband had very different expectations from hers. He believed that being at home with the children, cooking and cleaning should make her happy. When she expressed an interest in taking a creative writing course, her husband objected.

By the time she turned 30, FD was examining her life. She had expected to achieve more by this age and thought she would feel different. FD was fed up with feeling invisible at parties. When people asked her what she did and she replied that she was raising her three children, they moved on to someone else, assuming she had nothing to say. Her husband never beat her but she would sense the tension rising when he was getting upset and she did what she could to appease him. It was all very draining. As the new millennium rolled around, she had a pivotal conversation with a trusted friend. Her friend suggested that she pick one thing she would like to change in the future and set a date. By April 2000, FD had left her husband. This would be her third and final trip to a shelter.

Her husband had accumulated a huge debt and she inherited half of that amount as her "parting gift". She was a single mother of three, penniless and, without an education, she didn't know how she would take care of her family. An opportunity presented itself to move to Asia where she could make good money, live relatively cheap and complete her Publication Degree from Ryerson's online program. Her intention was to be away for one year but her contract was renewed and, she met an Australian man. Her children were taken care of by her mother and ex-husband. She spoke to them every other day but her husband always listened in on their conversations. She visited every four months. She moved back home, three years later, in March 2006, after a messy break up wth the Australian.

Her children needed to get to know her again. As they strengthened their relationship, FD started re-building her life. She met a man who was also re-building his life. They spent a lot of time together with their children, getting to know each other and, eventually, married late in 2007. She turned 40 shortly after her father passed away in 2008. "Turning 40 didn't really phase me", she said. Her 40s have been mostly about adjusting to married life. She learned to let go of her "single mom mentality". FD is finally in a relationship with a man she can rely on, "It's nice to be with someone who cares if you're hungry, cold or tired. You just need to let them take care of you".

FD is most proud of her relationship with her children. "We're friends which is amazing after everything we've been through". The only thing she would change is her trip to Asia. She wishes she didn't go away but, to this day, she can't imagine any other way to get out of debt as fast as she did. Her advice to young women is to "listen to the people who love you. You don't need to reply. What they say has value, take it in, value it, weigh it". At this point in her life she is "trying to focus on the moment, to sit and communicate".

She believes something causes us to look inward in our 40s and adjust our lives accordingly. As FD reviews the lives of the many generations who came before her, she notices that life changes over time but a "gold thread" stays the same. Her legacy will be to teach the next generation that "you are the only one you can depend on, you've got to make your own decisions and, it's ok to make mistakes because there are no mistakes, only learning". 

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org