Showing posts with label teachers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teachers. Show all posts

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Male Role Models

September 7th, 2016

My husband and I were discussing the importance of strong and multiple male role models this morning. Both of our daughters have one male and one female teacher this year, a first. I am thrilled! I think we naturally have lots of female role models. Our caregivers are often women-stay-at-home moms, grandmas, aunts, cousins then, as we leave home, babysitters or daycare staff are mostly women, at school we have predominantly female teachers and, at the doctor or dentist's office, we see female receptionists, nurses and doctors.

Growing up, I didn't have a father. I was lucky that my grandfather retired when I was quite young so we spent a lot of time together, going to the park or visiting relatives. My grandfather was very quiet and polite. He always took his hat off in the presence of a lady and he had a wicked sense of humour. I also had an uncle who treated me like one of his own. He was hard working and successful. He grew up in a poor family and created his own wealth. I respected him for that. Finally, my Godfather became involved in my life as I started University. He is very intellectual and he liked to challenge me, teaching me to think for myself. He was a very spiritual man, not in a preachy way. Each of these men provided a role model. This was important because I ended up marrying a man with my Grandpa's sense of humour, my Uncle's work ethic and my Godfather's intellect.

My husband grew up without a positive male role model. He once told me the men in his family were weak. His father decided he didn't much like children once he'd had one. He was violent to his mom and neglected the children. When my husband saw his dad, he was visiting briefly, just long enough to beat his mom and get her pregnant. Then, he would disappear again. He decided from an early age to do the opposite of what his father had done. Whenever he is faced with a decision, he wonders what his father would do then he goes in the complete opposite direction. My husband had a strong female role mother, his grandmother. She taught him how it feels to be loved. He owes his confidence and success to her. She was a hard worker and he endeavoured to be just like her. That is how he came to be the successful entrepreneur that he is today. However, when he became my husband and, just over a year later, a father, he was lost. How does a husband behave on a daily basis? What do fathers do with their children? We have worked through this together. I wasn't much help because I didn't live with a man during my childhood. We made up our own routines and he developed his own way of fathering through trial and error.

I am happy that my daughters will have two more role models in their lives. Both male teachers have excellent reputations and are quite popular among students. They also have a third male teacher who has taught gym over the past two years but he only sees them for an hour, three times per week. Still, he is yet another example of what a man can be like. Our conversation this morning was about the impact of these teachers on the young boys at that school. There are so many boys growing up without a decent male role model. The father has left or was never around, the parents are divorced and the father gets little to no time them. These boys are surrounded by women at home, daycare and school. How can we expect them to grow into strong, confident young men if they have no guidance? I can just imagine how powerful an excellent male teacher can be to these young men.

Here's to all the teachers, male and female who become powerful templates for our children. Thank you!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Thursday, 23 June 2016

Your Inner Alien

June 23rd, 2016

Tomorrow, I am offering a Have You Hugged Your Alien? workshop at a nearby school for a class of grade 4 students. One comment I have heard from teachers and volunteer parents at my workshops in the past is that we need one of these workshops for adults. I have tailored my workshops to elementary school children so I'd have to change my language but I think it's a good idea.

In my book for children, the alien is the part of us that emerges when we are upset-it feels foreign to us. You do something you later regret and you wonder why you did that. It seemed like a good idea in the heat of the moment but you see more clearly once the intensity has passed. While you are upset, you watch your own behaviour as an observer and you are just as shocked as everyone else by what happens every step of the way. Your actions are not only unpredictable but they seem unstoppable.

After I have read the book, each student creates a representation of their inner alien out of clay. It is really fascinating to see the many interpretations of this directive. Students get really attached to their alien.

The main message of my book is that it's normal to experience a wide range of emotions, it's part of being a human being living your life. However, the choices you make when you are experiencing difficult emotions can get you in trouble. Parents or teachers ask you: "What came over you? What were you thinking?" They may also say: "This is so unlike you. You know better than this". You agree with them sheepishly and promise that it will never happen again but you don't know how it happened in the first place and you doubt you could react differently in the future.

Here is a glimpse into what I have learned so far-an explanation of the process that gets us into trouble. Our primitive or reptilian brain is located at the back of the head. It is an old part of the brain that looks after our survival. When we were cave people and we needed to survive, the reptilian brain helped us decide really quickly whether to fight (let's take this animal down together and eat it) or flee (dinosaur...run!). Our body gets a surge of energy to fight or run as fast as we can. However, it is not helpful to analyze the situation because, if you don't make a quick decision and act on it, you will die. That is why the activation of our primitive brain shuts down our pre-frontal cortex.

The prefrontal cortex is located at the front of the brain. It has developed over time and it is very smart. It helps us make good decisions. When this part of the brain shuts down, we make poor choices. At this point, children get very excited. If their brains are unable to make good choices while they are upset then surely their behaviour is not their fault. Wrong! While we can't control when our reptilian brain will take over or when our prefrontal cortex will take a break, we can learn a few tools to help us stay out of trouble.

I learned a few years ago that, when we have a negative emotional reaction, it cycles through our system for 90 seconds-that's it. If our response lasts less than a minute, it becomes much more manageable. The question doesn't become: How do I prevent myself from responding to negative events or conflicts? It becomes: What can I do during that 90 seconds to help my body use the excess energy of the reptilian brain? We used to need the surge in energy to fight predators or run away and hide but we don't need to hunt or defend ourselves against nature anymore. Having that much energy is like sitting on a wild stallion when you've never ridden a horse. You are not able to control it.

We can look at animals for inspiration. How do they release excess energy? If you have a dog, you have probably noticed that, when it gets frustrated, it stretches and makes a weird yawn with a high pitch sound. If it is really worked up, it will run like crazy throughout the house until it has calmed down. The cat stretches its back and hisses. The elephant raises its trunk, makes noise and flaps its ears. The horse stomps its hooves, neighs and shakes its head. The lion roars as it shakes its mane. The bear beats its chest and roars. Each animal uses either the voice, movement or breath to release energy. We can access these tools as well.

I ask the students to think about where they are in general when they are upset. Does it happen more at home or at school, inside or outside and who is involved? They usually know their pattern. I ask them to imagine how they could use their voice, breath and movement to feel better. I demonstrate exhales, stretches, saying: "I am so angry" or simply letting out a sound "URGH", running around if they are outside or tightening and releasing their muscles, wiggling the tension out or stomping their feet. They create a Coping Card where they draw themselves applying their new strategy to stay calm.Teachers can post these drawings on a classroom wall as a gentle reminder that there are other ways to respond to difficult feelings.

Then I address the fact that we often end up upset for longer than 90 seconds. That is because we have this great imagination and we tend to make up a story about our life that we hold onto and that serves as a reset button-triggering another 90 seconds of anger. As long as your mind remains focused on the story, you will keep triggering a new response. When animals are upset and they release the energy, they move on. We don't. I ask students to sum up their story in one sentence. Then I hand out an image of a flying saucer and I have them write the story on this flying saucer. Together, we visualize the saucer moving further away from us as we exhale until it disappears. Being aware of one's story is helpful. It helps us challenge it next time we are upset. Is this true or am I just upset? That way we can limit our reaction time to 90 seconds and move on.

I have been offering these workshops for just over a year now and I love watching the students' reactions to this information, their excitement as they create their alien and their interactions with their parents and teachers after the workshop where they use the alien metaphor to get support when they are getting overwhelmed. Parents report that their child will say they feel their alien stirring or teachers tell me students suggest strategies to each other. I love this work! If you are an adult and you wish to apply this to your own life, you can make it relevant for yourself as well.

1-Next time you are upset, remind yourself that you only have to keep it together for 90 seconds
2-Exhale hard, tense and release your muscles, tell people you are upset and you need a minute
3-Recognize your story, write it down and start to challenge it. Is it true? Find proof that it is false
4-Notice where you are when you get upset and who is with you
5-Tailor your strategy for that environment (Are you indoors/outside, at work or at home?)
6-If you are normally with them same person every time you are upset, examine what it is about this person that leads to frustration. Is there anything within your control that you can do?

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Friday, 10 June 2016

Thank You Teachers!

June 10th, 2016

The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.

Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.

Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.

I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.

My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.

We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Learning

March 9th, 2016

I love reading, writing and watching documentaries. I am very curious and, thankfully, my husband and children share my thirst for knowledge. I am puzzled by our school system. Our teachers are trained to transfer their knowledge to students but we keep increasing class sizes while decreasing support. I have two daughters. I love them and do my best as their parent but it's a tough job being a mom (or dad). I can't imagine being alone with thirty students, having to be a good role model, managing behaviours and teaching skills to these students so they perform well during testing by the Ministry of Education. I think it's time we take a good look at what we are trying to achieve and support teachers in reaching these goals.

Children are naturally curious. They observe and ask questions, they touch everything. They do NOT like to sit still for long periods of time and, if you talk to them for longer than five minutes, you can be sure they are not listening. They are busy using their active imagination. We know children love playing outdoors, they learn from one another and by observing adults, they want to explore new objects and environments. However, we design classrooms to encourage sitting and place desks strategically so students are all facing and listening to the adult.

As a college professor, I challenged myself to teach in ways that involved every student in my class. I would start with a story to set up the theme of the day and engage my auditory students. I showed a brief video clip or drawing to reach the visual students. They could download note outlines which helped them organize the information. We woud then have an activity to provide hands-on instruction for kinesthetic learners. In this way, every student learned the same information in their own way.

Once my daughters started school, I noticed their attitude toward their homework. They would tell me they spent a lot of time doing these exact same activities at school. They didn't understand the need to do more of the same thing at home. I watched their enthusiasm for learning fade over time. This worried me because I wanted them to stay curious and excited about learning new things. I started looking into different types of schools.

Montessori schools organize their classrooms into learning areas so students can visit the different sections and learn by interacting with the supplies. The teacher respects the interests of each student and facilitates learning. One example that impressed me was how students learned about geography. Instead of speaking about a place that exists far away as an abstract concept, students were assembling a puzzle of a world map so they learned where each continent and country belonged. They also ate foods from various areas, did art about the flags of different countries and practiced traditions. The students were moving around the class, learning at their own pace, following their interests.

What appealed to me about Waldorf schools was their connection to nature and creativity. There is a return to craftsmanship as students learn to bake bread, weave scarves and carve sculptures out of wood. Students are encouraged to express themselves and teachers support their development in holistic ways. There is a rich culture and many traditions within this school setting. I took my girls to a few Waldorf festivals and noticed that many age groups were learning the same topic at varying levels of maturity reflected in the expectations placed on them during the activity. It felt like a very respectful, wholesome learning environment.

The Reggio approach is my favorite. Reggio schools focus on the curiosity of students. They develop entire lesson plans around the interests of their students. Students may ask a question or perhaps something is happening in the world at that time that the students are trying to understand. The teacher organizes a project that the classroom can work on collaboratively. Teachers and students are exploring this topic together, learning from each other. This is a very exciting, active way of learning. What I love most is that all students are involved in the learning process in a non-competitive way.

Teachers start out with a passion for learning and teaching as well as a love of children. They need support through manageable class sizes, teacher's assistants and access to exciting resource materials. Also, if teachers can work together on lesson plans, each one building on what the other has taught, there will be more collaboration, less stress and better results.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org