September 24th 2016
I don't usually write on Saturdays but I didn't post yesterday. I was driving into Ottawa to meet a lady who wanted to purchase my books. By the time I got home, it was time to prepare my daughters for their sleepover party. I thought I would write after dropping them off but my husband was done work early so we went out for cocktails and then watched a documentary. I woke up during the night and realized I had not posted. Oops! I realize it doesn't matter, few people even read this blog but I made a commitment to myself to write every weekday and I like to keep my promises even if they are only to myself.
As I mentioned, my daughters were going to a birthday sleepover party on the weekend. This used to be festive but, not anymore, at least not for me. You see, we had loads of play dates and sleepovers over the summer until one day, one of my eldest daughter's friends told her she had lice. Her mother had not warned me and I spent the next several days inspecting my daughters' heads and feeling itchy all over (psychosomatic). I thought we were safe until one morning, right after my husband had gone away for the weekend. I was talking to my eldest daughter and I saw movement in her hair. I freaked out, I shouldn't have but I did. I started inspecting her head and saw lice. I didn't know what they look like. They are thin and brown with little legs that wiggle and, they move fast. They feed on your blood so you find them close to the scalp. I was so grossed out! I proceeded to comb through her hair and remove everything I could see. She had three but there were eggs, little white balls close to the scalp. I panicked. I removed the bedding from all of our beds, stuffies and dolls. I wondered why my daughters have so many blankets on their beds. I vowed to downsize the blankets.
I checked my youngest daughter. She had tiny baby ones, only a few. The pharmacy was closed because it was a special day, can't recall what the holiday was but it wasn't open. I googled remedies and coated all of our hair with a mix of 1/4 cup of olive oil and 20 drops of tea tree oil. I put shower caps on our heads to really intensify the scent and strength of the oil and smother them. My youngest who loves nature loved the lice and wanted to keep them in a jar as a pet. I tried really hard not to roll my eyes and grimace. I explained that they couldn't survive without blood so they would just die. It took forever to get through the laundry because I had the washer set to sanitize and it takes nearly 2 hours for the machine to complete the cycle. As I inspected their he'd each day to ensure I hadn't missed anything, my daughters grew weary of this routine and it became a drag. By the time my husband returned from his trip, we were all lice free and I was exhausted. The next morning, he asked me to make him some eggs and I nearly struck him. He had just returned from a fantastic trip and was feeling energized. I was exhausted and miserable from the whole lice adventure. Needless to say, he made his own eggs that morning.
When the school semester started, my eldest mentioned that her friend had a bunch of white dots in her hair. Then she admitted that she had used her hair elastic because they were giving each other hairstyles. She told me this because her head had started to itch. I started checking their heads again, worried that we would have to start over, they were ok. Hooray! However, as the sleepover date approached, I felt less than enthusiastic about the possibility of contamination. It's not just careless fun anymore.
This morning, I saw a Facebook post about cockroaches in some schools in Ottawa. The post suggested parents search their children's back packs for cockroaches. What? One more critter to be wary of. I can't even imagine how disgusting it would feel to dig into their bags and have one in my hands. I am not one of those women who refuses to touch bugs or screams when she sees spiders. I was never germaphobe but I am a different person now. I notice when a child scratches her head or has white dots in her hair, I can't help it.
Here is what I now know that I didn't know before this experience:
1-Life will only survive as long as there is a blood supply to feed on
2-The chemicals kill the lice but not the eggs
3-Olive oil and tea tree destroys everything
4-You need a thin comb (a nit comb is suggested but I just used the thin end of a comb and it worked)
5-You don't need to sanitize everything, just put the linens and stuffed animals in a garbage bag and wait 48 hours, the lice will die, then you can clean in the wash as you would normally
6-You have to pull the eggs off the hair, they won't just fall off, they stick to the hair
7-Your kids need to stop sharing stuffed animals, headbands, elastics, hoodies, anything that could contaminate them and others
8-Have play dates, not sleepovers. You never know who has lice and doesn't know it yet, they can give it to everyone else. It is transmitted when kids share a bed, stuffie or bedding.
I hope my rant and tips can help a poor parent out there, going through this for the first time.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Saturday, 24 September 2016
Wednesday, 7 September 2016
Male Role Models
September 7th, 2016
My husband and I were discussing the importance of strong and multiple male role models this morning. Both of our daughters have one male and one female teacher this year, a first. I am thrilled! I think we naturally have lots of female role models. Our caregivers are often women-stay-at-home moms, grandmas, aunts, cousins then, as we leave home, babysitters or daycare staff are mostly women, at school we have predominantly female teachers and, at the doctor or dentist's office, we see female receptionists, nurses and doctors.
Growing up, I didn't have a father. I was lucky that my grandfather retired when I was quite young so we spent a lot of time together, going to the park or visiting relatives. My grandfather was very quiet and polite. He always took his hat off in the presence of a lady and he had a wicked sense of humour. I also had an uncle who treated me like one of his own. He was hard working and successful. He grew up in a poor family and created his own wealth. I respected him for that. Finally, my Godfather became involved in my life as I started University. He is very intellectual and he liked to challenge me, teaching me to think for myself. He was a very spiritual man, not in a preachy way. Each of these men provided a role model. This was important because I ended up marrying a man with my Grandpa's sense of humour, my Uncle's work ethic and my Godfather's intellect.
My husband grew up without a positive male role model. He once told me the men in his family were weak. His father decided he didn't much like children once he'd had one. He was violent to his mom and neglected the children. When my husband saw his dad, he was visiting briefly, just long enough to beat his mom and get her pregnant. Then, he would disappear again. He decided from an early age to do the opposite of what his father had done. Whenever he is faced with a decision, he wonders what his father would do then he goes in the complete opposite direction. My husband had a strong female role mother, his grandmother. She taught him how it feels to be loved. He owes his confidence and success to her. She was a hard worker and he endeavoured to be just like her. That is how he came to be the successful entrepreneur that he is today. However, when he became my husband and, just over a year later, a father, he was lost. How does a husband behave on a daily basis? What do fathers do with their children? We have worked through this together. I wasn't much help because I didn't live with a man during my childhood. We made up our own routines and he developed his own way of fathering through trial and error.
I am happy that my daughters will have two more role models in their lives. Both male teachers have excellent reputations and are quite popular among students. They also have a third male teacher who has taught gym over the past two years but he only sees them for an hour, three times per week. Still, he is yet another example of what a man can be like. Our conversation this morning was about the impact of these teachers on the young boys at that school. There are so many boys growing up without a decent male role model. The father has left or was never around, the parents are divorced and the father gets little to no time them. These boys are surrounded by women at home, daycare and school. How can we expect them to grow into strong, confident young men if they have no guidance? I can just imagine how powerful an excellent male teacher can be to these young men.
Here's to all the teachers, male and female who become powerful templates for our children. Thank you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
My husband and I were discussing the importance of strong and multiple male role models this morning. Both of our daughters have one male and one female teacher this year, a first. I am thrilled! I think we naturally have lots of female role models. Our caregivers are often women-stay-at-home moms, grandmas, aunts, cousins then, as we leave home, babysitters or daycare staff are mostly women, at school we have predominantly female teachers and, at the doctor or dentist's office, we see female receptionists, nurses and doctors.
Growing up, I didn't have a father. I was lucky that my grandfather retired when I was quite young so we spent a lot of time together, going to the park or visiting relatives. My grandfather was very quiet and polite. He always took his hat off in the presence of a lady and he had a wicked sense of humour. I also had an uncle who treated me like one of his own. He was hard working and successful. He grew up in a poor family and created his own wealth. I respected him for that. Finally, my Godfather became involved in my life as I started University. He is very intellectual and he liked to challenge me, teaching me to think for myself. He was a very spiritual man, not in a preachy way. Each of these men provided a role model. This was important because I ended up marrying a man with my Grandpa's sense of humour, my Uncle's work ethic and my Godfather's intellect.
My husband grew up without a positive male role model. He once told me the men in his family were weak. His father decided he didn't much like children once he'd had one. He was violent to his mom and neglected the children. When my husband saw his dad, he was visiting briefly, just long enough to beat his mom and get her pregnant. Then, he would disappear again. He decided from an early age to do the opposite of what his father had done. Whenever he is faced with a decision, he wonders what his father would do then he goes in the complete opposite direction. My husband had a strong female role mother, his grandmother. She taught him how it feels to be loved. He owes his confidence and success to her. She was a hard worker and he endeavoured to be just like her. That is how he came to be the successful entrepreneur that he is today. However, when he became my husband and, just over a year later, a father, he was lost. How does a husband behave on a daily basis? What do fathers do with their children? We have worked through this together. I wasn't much help because I didn't live with a man during my childhood. We made up our own routines and he developed his own way of fathering through trial and error.
I am happy that my daughters will have two more role models in their lives. Both male teachers have excellent reputations and are quite popular among students. They also have a third male teacher who has taught gym over the past two years but he only sees them for an hour, three times per week. Still, he is yet another example of what a man can be like. Our conversation this morning was about the impact of these teachers on the young boys at that school. There are so many boys growing up without a decent male role model. The father has left or was never around, the parents are divorced and the father gets little to no time them. These boys are surrounded by women at home, daycare and school. How can we expect them to grow into strong, confident young men if they have no guidance? I can just imagine how powerful an excellent male teacher can be to these young men.
Here's to all the teachers, male and female who become powerful templates for our children. Thank you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 5 September 2016
Back to School Jitters
September 5th, 2016
My daughters are partying today. They know that, as of tomorrow morning, their lives will change. Every day, we have the talk about homeschooling. "Why can't you just homeschool us?" they ask. Of course, in their minds, homeschooling would be just like summer holidays-the beach, trampoline, pets dolls, play dates, ice cream, parks, swimming and biking. When I explain that homeschooling means they would be studying the same topics as in school minus their friends, they get more contemplative and quiet.
This is a stressful time of the year for many parents and their children. Some children love school and count down the days. However, for many children, the anxiety of not knowing who will be in their class or who their home room teacher will be leads to worrying and sleepless nights.
I know that, as I type this, loads of parents are preparing to bring their 4 year olds to school for the first time. There will be nerves, tears, maybe guilt and that sinking feeling of emptiness once the child is officially in school.
As a former College Professor, I have seen the same anxiety play out with parents who are driving their young adult children to dorms out of town. They are super organized and very busy unpacking and walking around campus with their son or daughter to get them acquainted with the cafeteria, computer room, classrooms and financial aid office. Then, the dreaded moment arrives, the departure. The tension that has been pent up and hidden for the most part bursts opens like a dam. If you see a middle-aged couple sitting at a Tim's, cradling their cups, looking out the window with that far away gaze, you can bet they have just dropped off their college student.
Parents of teens have their own anxieties. Their teens will undoubtedly know many of the students in their grade but this is a new building. There is the knowledge that these teens are heading into a time of their life where parents are less able to shield and protect them. They will have many important choices to make and their future can be altered depending on those choices. Will they hang out with the "good" crowd of kids or the trouble makers? Will they spend their spare time studying or working on assignments or grabbing some lunch with friends and skipping a few classes? When they are out with their friends, will they be offered smokes, alcohol or drugs? Will they accept or decline the offers? When will they have sex? Will they bother to use contraceptives?
When I was starting my first year in University, a friend of my mom gave me great advice. She said: "Everyone is nervous, they are all feeling the same as you so reach out to them and they will be grateful to have someone to talk to". My first class was an elective German class. I looked around. No one was talking. I turned to the person next to me and started a conversation. The students around us were all listening to our conversation and I made eye contact to include as many as I could. I am a super shy person but her advice gave me the confidence to initiate conversations because I felt like I was helping put others at ease. I forgot about my own fears and anxieties. Thanks Beth!
So, whether your child is returning to elementary school, high school, College or University, there are things you can do to help him/her adjust and, to keep yourself from having a cardiac arrest.
Young child starting Junior Kindergarten:
If your child has not been in daycare, going to play groups is a great way to acquaint them with some of the elements of school such as carpet time, putting shoes and coats away in a cubby, eating out of a lunch kit etc. For children who have never been apart from parents, you may want to try out short programs like gymnastics, art classes, swimming or some kind of experience where they must transfer their trust and attachment to another adult. This teaches them that they can be safe and happy away from you. You can practise writing their name, learning their address and phone number and reciting the alphabet so these notions are familiar to them. Show them all their school supplies. Do they know how to open everything? This helps them feel independent. Can they put on and remove their velcro sneakers on their own? Are they able to take off their coat? It's a good idea to visit the classroom prior to the first day of school, meet the teacher and get acquainted with the layout-where to put shoes, location of desk, place on carpet etc. Talking about what to expect is also beneficial. On the first morning of school, providing a filling breakfast, speaking positively about starting school and having a clean cut off point are all helpful. I waited too long with my youngest. I was standing outside the school yard and when the time came to go into class, my daughter ran to the fence and tried to climb it. The teacher had to pull her off the fence and carry her off. It hurt so bad, I cried all morning. It would have been easier if I went with her to meet the teacher then kissed her, wished her a good first day of school and walked to my car. I just couldn't do it.
Teenagers:
Depending on your relationship with your teen and their personality, you could go out somewhere special and talk about their feelings re: their transition to high school. Visiting the school ahead of time is also a good idea as they know where to go on the first day when the halls are crowded. Meeting the teachers, if possible, is an excellent start. Having a great dialogue with your teen means he or she will be able to discuss issues with you as they come up. Planning to meet up with friends and walk to school together can go a long way toward reducing anxiety about being alone or self-conscious. Welcoming their friends into your home will increase your connection to your teen's friends. You will hear your teen speak freely about fears. It also gives you an opportunity to troubleshoot with them as a group. Being available to talk about the first day after school in a casual way-going for a walk or drive or, while preparing a meal, allows your teen to talk without having to look at you directly. My best conversations with teens in my theatre program was often as we were walking to class not when they sat across from me at the office.
Young Adults:
If your child is off to College or University, you want to make sure you have provided some basic every day living skills. They can cook a few meals, they know how to do their own laundry, they have a budget and know how to manage it, they are acquainted with the buses that can take them to important locations and have a meal plan. Again, visiting the campus, meeting faculty and touring facilities ahead of time makes everything more familiar once your son or daughter moves to the new city. You'll want to explore the city together and find places your child can go-library, coffeehouse, grocery store, bank, movie theatre etc. Letting your son or daughter know that you are just a phone call away and that you love them no matter what will empower them to make good choices while they are away. Troubleshooting is also beneficial. What if they go to a party with someone and that person has too much to drink? If they can't call you because you are out of town, what could they do to get home safely? The more organized they are prior to the first day and the more life skills you have given them, the easier the adjustment.
What about the parents after the child is in school? Empty nesters often feel depressed, lost, sad and confused once the children are in school. Plan something fun for that first day. Go and see a movie, meet a friend for coffee, buy a good book and plan to start it in a warm bath. If you are a stay-at-home parent and your days feel empty without your children, consider volunteering somewhere or working part-time or start a new hobby.
Whatever the circumstances, you are not alone. Talk to people about your feelings and you will hear their stories as well. You may even make a good friend. Good luck to all the parents tomorrow.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
My daughters are partying today. They know that, as of tomorrow morning, their lives will change. Every day, we have the talk about homeschooling. "Why can't you just homeschool us?" they ask. Of course, in their minds, homeschooling would be just like summer holidays-the beach, trampoline, pets dolls, play dates, ice cream, parks, swimming and biking. When I explain that homeschooling means they would be studying the same topics as in school minus their friends, they get more contemplative and quiet.
This is a stressful time of the year for many parents and their children. Some children love school and count down the days. However, for many children, the anxiety of not knowing who will be in their class or who their home room teacher will be leads to worrying and sleepless nights.
I know that, as I type this, loads of parents are preparing to bring their 4 year olds to school for the first time. There will be nerves, tears, maybe guilt and that sinking feeling of emptiness once the child is officially in school.
As a former College Professor, I have seen the same anxiety play out with parents who are driving their young adult children to dorms out of town. They are super organized and very busy unpacking and walking around campus with their son or daughter to get them acquainted with the cafeteria, computer room, classrooms and financial aid office. Then, the dreaded moment arrives, the departure. The tension that has been pent up and hidden for the most part bursts opens like a dam. If you see a middle-aged couple sitting at a Tim's, cradling their cups, looking out the window with that far away gaze, you can bet they have just dropped off their college student.
Parents of teens have their own anxieties. Their teens will undoubtedly know many of the students in their grade but this is a new building. There is the knowledge that these teens are heading into a time of their life where parents are less able to shield and protect them. They will have many important choices to make and their future can be altered depending on those choices. Will they hang out with the "good" crowd of kids or the trouble makers? Will they spend their spare time studying or working on assignments or grabbing some lunch with friends and skipping a few classes? When they are out with their friends, will they be offered smokes, alcohol or drugs? Will they accept or decline the offers? When will they have sex? Will they bother to use contraceptives?
When I was starting my first year in University, a friend of my mom gave me great advice. She said: "Everyone is nervous, they are all feeling the same as you so reach out to them and they will be grateful to have someone to talk to". My first class was an elective German class. I looked around. No one was talking. I turned to the person next to me and started a conversation. The students around us were all listening to our conversation and I made eye contact to include as many as I could. I am a super shy person but her advice gave me the confidence to initiate conversations because I felt like I was helping put others at ease. I forgot about my own fears and anxieties. Thanks Beth!
So, whether your child is returning to elementary school, high school, College or University, there are things you can do to help him/her adjust and, to keep yourself from having a cardiac arrest.
Young child starting Junior Kindergarten:
If your child has not been in daycare, going to play groups is a great way to acquaint them with some of the elements of school such as carpet time, putting shoes and coats away in a cubby, eating out of a lunch kit etc. For children who have never been apart from parents, you may want to try out short programs like gymnastics, art classes, swimming or some kind of experience where they must transfer their trust and attachment to another adult. This teaches them that they can be safe and happy away from you. You can practise writing their name, learning their address and phone number and reciting the alphabet so these notions are familiar to them. Show them all their school supplies. Do they know how to open everything? This helps them feel independent. Can they put on and remove their velcro sneakers on their own? Are they able to take off their coat? It's a good idea to visit the classroom prior to the first day of school, meet the teacher and get acquainted with the layout-where to put shoes, location of desk, place on carpet etc. Talking about what to expect is also beneficial. On the first morning of school, providing a filling breakfast, speaking positively about starting school and having a clean cut off point are all helpful. I waited too long with my youngest. I was standing outside the school yard and when the time came to go into class, my daughter ran to the fence and tried to climb it. The teacher had to pull her off the fence and carry her off. It hurt so bad, I cried all morning. It would have been easier if I went with her to meet the teacher then kissed her, wished her a good first day of school and walked to my car. I just couldn't do it.
Teenagers:
Depending on your relationship with your teen and their personality, you could go out somewhere special and talk about their feelings re: their transition to high school. Visiting the school ahead of time is also a good idea as they know where to go on the first day when the halls are crowded. Meeting the teachers, if possible, is an excellent start. Having a great dialogue with your teen means he or she will be able to discuss issues with you as they come up. Planning to meet up with friends and walk to school together can go a long way toward reducing anxiety about being alone or self-conscious. Welcoming their friends into your home will increase your connection to your teen's friends. You will hear your teen speak freely about fears. It also gives you an opportunity to troubleshoot with them as a group. Being available to talk about the first day after school in a casual way-going for a walk or drive or, while preparing a meal, allows your teen to talk without having to look at you directly. My best conversations with teens in my theatre program was often as we were walking to class not when they sat across from me at the office.
Young Adults:
If your child is off to College or University, you want to make sure you have provided some basic every day living skills. They can cook a few meals, they know how to do their own laundry, they have a budget and know how to manage it, they are acquainted with the buses that can take them to important locations and have a meal plan. Again, visiting the campus, meeting faculty and touring facilities ahead of time makes everything more familiar once your son or daughter moves to the new city. You'll want to explore the city together and find places your child can go-library, coffeehouse, grocery store, bank, movie theatre etc. Letting your son or daughter know that you are just a phone call away and that you love them no matter what will empower them to make good choices while they are away. Troubleshooting is also beneficial. What if they go to a party with someone and that person has too much to drink? If they can't call you because you are out of town, what could they do to get home safely? The more organized they are prior to the first day and the more life skills you have given them, the easier the adjustment.
What about the parents after the child is in school? Empty nesters often feel depressed, lost, sad and confused once the children are in school. Plan something fun for that first day. Go and see a movie, meet a friend for coffee, buy a good book and plan to start it in a warm bath. If you are a stay-at-home parent and your days feel empty without your children, consider volunteering somewhere or working part-time or start a new hobby.
Whatever the circumstances, you are not alone. Talk to people about your feelings and you will hear their stories as well. You may even make a good friend. Good luck to all the parents tomorrow.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
Call of the Wild
June 15th, 2016
Today was all about nature. I went to Camp Otterdale in Lombardy, Ontario with my daughter and both Grade 4 classes. As we drove up the winding driveway, through lush trees, on a dirt road, we saw rustic wood cabins appear all around us and were greeted by friendly staff. I saw the water up ahead and felt like I'd come home. I love being in the woods, close to water so I was in heaven.
We had such an amazing day! We started with arts and crafts in the cabin closest to the water. I'll let you in on a little secret...I am NOT good at arts and crafts. I am creative and I enjoy painting, sculpting, journalling or collages but making bracelets out of gimp is so not my talent. I was able to watch and learn as camp monitors taught my daughter and her classmates how to make various styles of bracelets-some easy, others very challenging.
I got to watch my daughter try her hand at archery. She needed lots of guidance at first but she did quite well in the end. The students were so excited by this activity. It's much harder than it appears which makes it all the more sweeter when you get the arrow anywhere close to the target. The group then learned an activity called Bouldering. It's like rock climbing but you move sideways across the boulders instead of rising to the top. You can climb all the way around from one side of the wall to the back of the wall-both sides have boulders on them. I loved watching the confidence grow throughout this activity. Initially, students would complain that it was hot out, that they couldn't get a firm grip and that they weren't sure what to do. However, many disappeared behind the wall to practise out of sight only to emerge victorious and full of pride.
We all enjoyed our pizza lunch in the main hall. There were camp songs and a few speeches and then we were off to our walk on the nature trail. The children loved the caterpillars. They collected them and had masses of them draped all over their arms. We learned how to make maple sugar, named the maple trees and the chickens and, enjoyed the walk through the wilderness.
By the time we got home, we felt sun-sucked but satisfied. I picked up my youngest daughter from school. She had a silk worm. She found it in the school yard. She carried it in a sandwich bag until we got home and transferred it to a mason jar with some leaves. She was excited to show everyone her new friend-Squirmy.
After supper, I took the girls to the park. There was a snapping turtle under the swings. She was laying her eggs. There was no one there initially but as word got around, more and more children crowded around the swing set. I called a friend of mine who works at the conservation office. She suggested we just leave the turtle alone. I was intrigued by the reaction of the children playing at the park. They lost all interest in the playground. They just wanted to watch the turtle.
Today has confirmed for me that children belong in nature. They can learn everything they need to in a natural environment and so much more. They can build a chicken coop to practise their math skills. They can journal their observations to use their writing skills. Tasks can be assigned to each student to teach responsibility. Compassion, leadership and team work are taught effortlessly through hands-on activities. This experience has ignited a desire in me to learn as much as I can about the natural world around me-such as the names of insects and plants.
If you are feeling stressed out, drive to the closest wooded area, take your shoes off, walk around, breathe in the fresh air, feel the ground under your feet and absorb the serenity of nature.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today was all about nature. I went to Camp Otterdale in Lombardy, Ontario with my daughter and both Grade 4 classes. As we drove up the winding driveway, through lush trees, on a dirt road, we saw rustic wood cabins appear all around us and were greeted by friendly staff. I saw the water up ahead and felt like I'd come home. I love being in the woods, close to water so I was in heaven.
We had such an amazing day! We started with arts and crafts in the cabin closest to the water. I'll let you in on a little secret...I am NOT good at arts and crafts. I am creative and I enjoy painting, sculpting, journalling or collages but making bracelets out of gimp is so not my talent. I was able to watch and learn as camp monitors taught my daughter and her classmates how to make various styles of bracelets-some easy, others very challenging.
I got to watch my daughter try her hand at archery. She needed lots of guidance at first but she did quite well in the end. The students were so excited by this activity. It's much harder than it appears which makes it all the more sweeter when you get the arrow anywhere close to the target. The group then learned an activity called Bouldering. It's like rock climbing but you move sideways across the boulders instead of rising to the top. You can climb all the way around from one side of the wall to the back of the wall-both sides have boulders on them. I loved watching the confidence grow throughout this activity. Initially, students would complain that it was hot out, that they couldn't get a firm grip and that they weren't sure what to do. However, many disappeared behind the wall to practise out of sight only to emerge victorious and full of pride.
We all enjoyed our pizza lunch in the main hall. There were camp songs and a few speeches and then we were off to our walk on the nature trail. The children loved the caterpillars. They collected them and had masses of them draped all over their arms. We learned how to make maple sugar, named the maple trees and the chickens and, enjoyed the walk through the wilderness.
By the time we got home, we felt sun-sucked but satisfied. I picked up my youngest daughter from school. She had a silk worm. She found it in the school yard. She carried it in a sandwich bag until we got home and transferred it to a mason jar with some leaves. She was excited to show everyone her new friend-Squirmy.
After supper, I took the girls to the park. There was a snapping turtle under the swings. She was laying her eggs. There was no one there initially but as word got around, more and more children crowded around the swing set. I called a friend of mine who works at the conservation office. She suggested we just leave the turtle alone. I was intrigued by the reaction of the children playing at the park. They lost all interest in the playground. They just wanted to watch the turtle.
Today has confirmed for me that children belong in nature. They can learn everything they need to in a natural environment and so much more. They can build a chicken coop to practise their math skills. They can journal their observations to use their writing skills. Tasks can be assigned to each student to teach responsibility. Compassion, leadership and team work are taught effortlessly through hands-on activities. This experience has ignited a desire in me to learn as much as I can about the natural world around me-such as the names of insects and plants.
If you are feeling stressed out, drive to the closest wooded area, take your shoes off, walk around, breathe in the fresh air, feel the ground under your feet and absorb the serenity of nature.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 10 June 2016
Thank You Teachers!
June 10th, 2016
The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.
Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.
Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.
I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.
My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.
We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.
Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.
Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.
I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.
My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.
We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Wednesday, 9 March 2016
Why Teens Benefit from Art Therapy
March 7th, 2016
I had the opportunity to offer a stress management art therapy workshop to a group of high school students. I thoroughly enjoyed it and so did the students.
When I started my business, Art & Soul, I was marketing myself to women in midlife. I felt that I could help them because I was also a woman in midlife so I could relate and understand what they were going through. I did get clients in this demographic but many of them asked me to see their children or teenagers.
I ended up with a larger than expected teenage clientèle. Here is what I have noticed about teenagers doing art therapy.
1-Teenagers don't necessarily want to look at an adult while they talk. Have you ever noticed that your teenager talks to you the most when you are driving? Does your teen prefer texting you than talking to you face-to-face even though you are under the same roof? It can feel awkward to talk to an adult while they are looking at you. Eye contact in general can feel intrusive. Art therapy works because the teenage client can get to work painting, drawing or sculpting as we talk.
2-Teenagers are very creative and, it is part of their development to explore ideas, thoughts, beliefs. They are forming their sense of self and naturally turn to creative pursuits to explore different personas, ideas, beliefs and behaviors. The art is a perfect tool for this. Rather than dread the moment when they must meet with an adult and talk about problems, they can look forward to an opportunity to represent issues in a 3D, visual way, externalising and manipulating it.
3-Teenagers don't necessarily trust adults. When teenagers have been beaten or physically/emotionally abused, they may feel very vulnerable during a conversation with their therapist. They have a set amount of time and they are expected to sit down and tell this stranger what they are experiencing. The art provides an option to express information in a progressive way as trust levels grow. The therapist becomes a witness of this creative process, not an interrogator (which is how teen clients have said they feel during verbal therapy).
4-The element of choice is important to everyone, especially teenagers. My teen clients may have chosen to see me, often it is the parent who is sending them. In art therapy, they have many choices which helps them feel empowered. They choose whether to talk or create or do both at the same time. They choose which art material to use and how to apply it. They can add messages in writing on their work to provide additional information to the therapist or parent, something they wouldn't be able to say in person.
Teenagers have told me that they like having a quiet space where they can come and work at their own pace. They are very bright and enjoy observing the progression of their work when we do an art review. They notice the patterns in their work and find journaling helpful in making connections to these patterns. They are in control and feel more and more confident in their creative process. The art miroirs back to them and they gain a strong, grounded sense of who they are and what they are about. Creative exploration should be a valued part of the curriculum in high schools. Once a safe class environment is created, students could learn more compassion for one another as they each work through their issues in a creative way.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I had the opportunity to offer a stress management art therapy workshop to a group of high school students. I thoroughly enjoyed it and so did the students.
When I started my business, Art & Soul, I was marketing myself to women in midlife. I felt that I could help them because I was also a woman in midlife so I could relate and understand what they were going through. I did get clients in this demographic but many of them asked me to see their children or teenagers.
I ended up with a larger than expected teenage clientèle. Here is what I have noticed about teenagers doing art therapy.
1-Teenagers don't necessarily want to look at an adult while they talk. Have you ever noticed that your teenager talks to you the most when you are driving? Does your teen prefer texting you than talking to you face-to-face even though you are under the same roof? It can feel awkward to talk to an adult while they are looking at you. Eye contact in general can feel intrusive. Art therapy works because the teenage client can get to work painting, drawing or sculpting as we talk.
2-Teenagers are very creative and, it is part of their development to explore ideas, thoughts, beliefs. They are forming their sense of self and naturally turn to creative pursuits to explore different personas, ideas, beliefs and behaviors. The art is a perfect tool for this. Rather than dread the moment when they must meet with an adult and talk about problems, they can look forward to an opportunity to represent issues in a 3D, visual way, externalising and manipulating it.
3-Teenagers don't necessarily trust adults. When teenagers have been beaten or physically/emotionally abused, they may feel very vulnerable during a conversation with their therapist. They have a set amount of time and they are expected to sit down and tell this stranger what they are experiencing. The art provides an option to express information in a progressive way as trust levels grow. The therapist becomes a witness of this creative process, not an interrogator (which is how teen clients have said they feel during verbal therapy).
4-The element of choice is important to everyone, especially teenagers. My teen clients may have chosen to see me, often it is the parent who is sending them. In art therapy, they have many choices which helps them feel empowered. They choose whether to talk or create or do both at the same time. They choose which art material to use and how to apply it. They can add messages in writing on their work to provide additional information to the therapist or parent, something they wouldn't be able to say in person.
Teenagers have told me that they like having a quiet space where they can come and work at their own pace. They are very bright and enjoy observing the progression of their work when we do an art review. They notice the patterns in their work and find journaling helpful in making connections to these patterns. They are in control and feel more and more confident in their creative process. The art miroirs back to them and they gain a strong, grounded sense of who they are and what they are about. Creative exploration should be a valued part of the curriculum in high schools. Once a safe class environment is created, students could learn more compassion for one another as they each work through their issues in a creative way.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 16 February 2016
Anxiety
February 16th, 2016
Anxiety is on the rise, among men and women and, noticeably, in children and teenagers. I meet with many women who suffer from crippling levels of anxiety but their loved ones have no idea. They hide their anxiety or numb it with pills and alcohol. They think there is something wrong with them. "Why am I so anxious? I've always been the strong one. What is wrong with me?"
Each person perceives the anxiety to be a personal weakness. They guard this secret and cover it up. The thing is, it's normal to feel anxious. That is, when you are living in a fast-paced, demanding world, multi-tasking and over-scheduling yourself, it is normal to feel anxiety. As adults, we have become accustomed to drinking caffeine in order to keep functioning. We feel tired at the end of the day, rightfully so, but our work isn't over, we still need to prepare for the next day or finish a report.
Children don't have caffeine. They try to keep up with our pace, hurrying into the car, eating on the road, going from swim class to hockey. As they rush around, they feel stressed. They may experience anxiety about getting through homework, managing their many activities, witnessing conflicts between their parents or fighting with siblings. They are also bombarded by images and messages in the media. As they spend time surfing the internet alone, they are exposed to content that is not age-appropriate. They see skinny models and think that is what they are supposed to look like. They start trying to look older. They watch teenager sitcoms and think that is how teenagers are supposed to behave. They try out obnoxious behaviours prematurely in order to feel grown up and fit in. When the pressures accumulate, children and teenagers lash out in anger or in tears. They are overwhelmed.
When I visit classrooms to discuss mental health and stress management, I hear about the various stressors faced by today's children. They are expected to sit in class for hours at a time and learn. However, they may be hungry, stressed, scared or tired. To make things worse, they may not have any adults in their lives to support them and teach them how to deal with their stress. They feel alone. Some schools teach tips to handle their stress and emotions but it is not a priority, it may be one special class or a week of information.
If children look at their parents to learn how to manage stress, they may not be much further ahead. Many of us are overwhelmed as well. We are busy and exhausted, trying to juggle all responsibilities. We may lash out at our children in frustration or from there exhaustion. So what can we do?
1-Prioritize the many activities in our day so we know where to focus our attention and energy
2-Reduce the amount of items on our to-do list so it is realistic
3-Assess whether the activities we participate in are meaningful to us and cut down on the amount of demands on our time
4-Make space for uninterrupted family time: no phones, e-mails or tv
5-Slow down and include enjoyment in your day, not just duties and chores
6-Perform a self-care ritual such as reading, meditating, having a bath, going to yoga class
7-Share your stress-management tips with your children: progressive relaxation, meditation, prayer, breathing, yoga, journalling, art, exercise etc
8-Include friends in your schedule, it's good to go out and talk to your friends
9-Don't over schedule your day or your children's day
10-Talk about the feeling of anxiety with your loved ones, including your children so they are able to talk about their anxiety as well. They can see that they are not alone.
My favourite ways to deal with my stress include going to the gym, having a hot shower, writing in my journal, praying, dancing, singing out loud, drawing or painting. What works with my daughters is playing a relaxation cd when they go to bed, lots of cuddles, making up stories together before bed, petting the animals, drawing and writing stories in their journal and talking about what is worrying them.
Knowing that others experience anxiety, that it will pass, that there are things you can do to help yourself move through the anxiety and that you are supported by loved ones, all helps anxiety feel more manageable.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Anxiety is on the rise, among men and women and, noticeably, in children and teenagers. I meet with many women who suffer from crippling levels of anxiety but their loved ones have no idea. They hide their anxiety or numb it with pills and alcohol. They think there is something wrong with them. "Why am I so anxious? I've always been the strong one. What is wrong with me?"
Each person perceives the anxiety to be a personal weakness. They guard this secret and cover it up. The thing is, it's normal to feel anxious. That is, when you are living in a fast-paced, demanding world, multi-tasking and over-scheduling yourself, it is normal to feel anxiety. As adults, we have become accustomed to drinking caffeine in order to keep functioning. We feel tired at the end of the day, rightfully so, but our work isn't over, we still need to prepare for the next day or finish a report.
Children don't have caffeine. They try to keep up with our pace, hurrying into the car, eating on the road, going from swim class to hockey. As they rush around, they feel stressed. They may experience anxiety about getting through homework, managing their many activities, witnessing conflicts between their parents or fighting with siblings. They are also bombarded by images and messages in the media. As they spend time surfing the internet alone, they are exposed to content that is not age-appropriate. They see skinny models and think that is what they are supposed to look like. They start trying to look older. They watch teenager sitcoms and think that is how teenagers are supposed to behave. They try out obnoxious behaviours prematurely in order to feel grown up and fit in. When the pressures accumulate, children and teenagers lash out in anger or in tears. They are overwhelmed.
When I visit classrooms to discuss mental health and stress management, I hear about the various stressors faced by today's children. They are expected to sit in class for hours at a time and learn. However, they may be hungry, stressed, scared or tired. To make things worse, they may not have any adults in their lives to support them and teach them how to deal with their stress. They feel alone. Some schools teach tips to handle their stress and emotions but it is not a priority, it may be one special class or a week of information.
If children look at their parents to learn how to manage stress, they may not be much further ahead. Many of us are overwhelmed as well. We are busy and exhausted, trying to juggle all responsibilities. We may lash out at our children in frustration or from there exhaustion. So what can we do?
1-Prioritize the many activities in our day so we know where to focus our attention and energy
2-Reduce the amount of items on our to-do list so it is realistic
3-Assess whether the activities we participate in are meaningful to us and cut down on the amount of demands on our time
4-Make space for uninterrupted family time: no phones, e-mails or tv
5-Slow down and include enjoyment in your day, not just duties and chores
6-Perform a self-care ritual such as reading, meditating, having a bath, going to yoga class
7-Share your stress-management tips with your children: progressive relaxation, meditation, prayer, breathing, yoga, journalling, art, exercise etc
8-Include friends in your schedule, it's good to go out and talk to your friends
9-Don't over schedule your day or your children's day
10-Talk about the feeling of anxiety with your loved ones, including your children so they are able to talk about their anxiety as well. They can see that they are not alone.
My favourite ways to deal with my stress include going to the gym, having a hot shower, writing in my journal, praying, dancing, singing out loud, drawing or painting. What works with my daughters is playing a relaxation cd when they go to bed, lots of cuddles, making up stories together before bed, petting the animals, drawing and writing stories in their journal and talking about what is worrying them.
Knowing that others experience anxiety, that it will pass, that there are things you can do to help yourself move through the anxiety and that you are supported by loved ones, all helps anxiety feel more manageable.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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