June 23rd, 2016
Tomorrow, I am offering a Have You Hugged Your Alien? workshop at a nearby school for a class of grade 4 students. One comment I have heard from teachers and volunteer parents at my workshops in the past is that we need one of these workshops for adults. I have tailored my workshops to elementary school children so I'd have to change my language but I think it's a good idea.
In my book for children, the alien is the part of us that emerges when we are upset-it feels foreign to us. You do something you later regret and you wonder why you did that. It seemed like a good idea in the heat of the moment but you see more clearly once the intensity has passed. While you are upset, you watch your own behaviour as an observer and you are just as shocked as everyone else by what happens every step of the way. Your actions are not only unpredictable but they seem unstoppable.
After I have read the book, each student creates a representation of their inner alien out of clay. It is really fascinating to see the many interpretations of this directive. Students get really attached to their alien.
The main message of my book is that it's normal to experience a wide range of emotions, it's part of being a human being living your life. However, the choices you make when you are experiencing difficult emotions can get you in trouble. Parents or teachers ask you: "What came over you? What were you thinking?" They may also say: "This is so unlike you. You know better than this". You agree with them sheepishly and promise that it will never happen again but you don't know how it happened in the first place and you doubt you could react differently in the future.
Here is a glimpse into what I have learned so far-an explanation of the process that gets us into trouble. Our primitive or reptilian brain is located at the back of the head. It is an old part of the brain that looks after our survival. When we were cave people and we needed to survive, the reptilian brain helped us decide really quickly whether to fight (let's take this animal down together and eat it) or flee (dinosaur...run!). Our body gets a surge of energy to fight or run as fast as we can. However, it is not helpful to analyze the situation because, if you don't make a quick decision and act on it, you will die. That is why the activation of our primitive brain shuts down our pre-frontal cortex.
The prefrontal cortex is located at the front of the brain. It has developed over time and it is very smart. It helps us make good decisions. When this part of the brain shuts down, we make poor choices. At this point, children get very excited. If their brains are unable to make good choices while they are upset then surely their behaviour is not their fault. Wrong! While we can't control when our reptilian brain will take over or when our prefrontal cortex will take a break, we can learn a few tools to help us stay out of trouble.
I learned a few years ago that, when we have a negative emotional reaction, it cycles through our system for 90 seconds-that's it. If our response lasts less than a minute, it becomes much more manageable. The question doesn't become: How do I prevent myself from responding to negative events or conflicts? It becomes: What can I do during that 90 seconds to help my body use the excess energy of the reptilian brain? We used to need the surge in energy to fight predators or run away and hide but we don't need to hunt or defend ourselves against nature anymore. Having that much energy is like sitting on a wild stallion when you've never ridden a horse. You are not able to control it.
We can look at animals for inspiration. How do they release excess energy? If you have a dog, you have probably noticed that, when it gets frustrated, it stretches and makes a weird yawn with a high pitch sound. If it is really worked up, it will run like crazy throughout the house until it has calmed down. The cat stretches its back and hisses. The elephant raises its trunk, makes noise and flaps its ears. The horse stomps its hooves, neighs and shakes its head. The lion roars as it shakes its mane. The bear beats its chest and roars. Each animal uses either the voice, movement or breath to release energy. We can access these tools as well.
I ask the students to think about where they are in general when they are upset. Does it happen more at home or at school, inside or outside and who is involved? They usually know their pattern. I ask them to imagine how they could use their voice, breath and movement to feel better. I demonstrate exhales, stretches, saying: "I am so angry" or simply letting out a sound "URGH", running around if they are outside or tightening and releasing their muscles, wiggling the tension out or stomping their feet. They create a Coping Card where they draw themselves applying their new strategy to stay calm.Teachers can post these drawings on a classroom wall as a gentle reminder that there are other ways to respond to difficult feelings.
Then I address the fact that we often end up upset for longer than 90 seconds. That is because we have this great imagination and we tend to make up a story about our life that we hold onto and that serves as a reset button-triggering another 90 seconds of anger. As long as your mind remains focused on the story, you will keep triggering a new response. When animals are upset and they release the energy, they move on. We don't. I ask students to sum up their story in one sentence. Then I hand out an image of a flying saucer and I have them write the story on this flying saucer. Together, we visualize the saucer moving further away from us as we exhale until it disappears. Being aware of one's story is helpful. It helps us challenge it next time we are upset. Is this true or am I just upset? That way we can limit our reaction time to 90 seconds and move on.
I have been offering these workshops for just over a year now and I love watching the students' reactions to this information, their excitement as they create their alien and their interactions with their parents and teachers after the workshop where they use the alien metaphor to get support when they are getting overwhelmed. Parents report that their child will say they feel their alien stirring or teachers tell me students suggest strategies to each other. I love this work! If you are an adult and you wish to apply this to your own life, you can make it relevant for yourself as well.
1-Next time you are upset, remind yourself that you only have to keep it together for 90 seconds
2-Exhale hard, tense and release your muscles, tell people you are upset and you need a minute
3-Recognize your story, write it down and start to challenge it. Is it true? Find proof that it is false
4-Notice where you are when you get upset and who is with you
5-Tailor your strategy for that environment (Are you indoors/outside, at work or at home?)
6-If you are normally with them same person every time you are upset, examine what it is about this person that leads to frustration. Is there anything within your control that you can do?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Thursday, 23 June 2016
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
Call of the Wild
June 15th, 2016
Today was all about nature. I went to Camp Otterdale in Lombardy, Ontario with my daughter and both Grade 4 classes. As we drove up the winding driveway, through lush trees, on a dirt road, we saw rustic wood cabins appear all around us and were greeted by friendly staff. I saw the water up ahead and felt like I'd come home. I love being in the woods, close to water so I was in heaven.
We had such an amazing day! We started with arts and crafts in the cabin closest to the water. I'll let you in on a little secret...I am NOT good at arts and crafts. I am creative and I enjoy painting, sculpting, journalling or collages but making bracelets out of gimp is so not my talent. I was able to watch and learn as camp monitors taught my daughter and her classmates how to make various styles of bracelets-some easy, others very challenging.
I got to watch my daughter try her hand at archery. She needed lots of guidance at first but she did quite well in the end. The students were so excited by this activity. It's much harder than it appears which makes it all the more sweeter when you get the arrow anywhere close to the target. The group then learned an activity called Bouldering. It's like rock climbing but you move sideways across the boulders instead of rising to the top. You can climb all the way around from one side of the wall to the back of the wall-both sides have boulders on them. I loved watching the confidence grow throughout this activity. Initially, students would complain that it was hot out, that they couldn't get a firm grip and that they weren't sure what to do. However, many disappeared behind the wall to practise out of sight only to emerge victorious and full of pride.
We all enjoyed our pizza lunch in the main hall. There were camp songs and a few speeches and then we were off to our walk on the nature trail. The children loved the caterpillars. They collected them and had masses of them draped all over their arms. We learned how to make maple sugar, named the maple trees and the chickens and, enjoyed the walk through the wilderness.
By the time we got home, we felt sun-sucked but satisfied. I picked up my youngest daughter from school. She had a silk worm. She found it in the school yard. She carried it in a sandwich bag until we got home and transferred it to a mason jar with some leaves. She was excited to show everyone her new friend-Squirmy.
After supper, I took the girls to the park. There was a snapping turtle under the swings. She was laying her eggs. There was no one there initially but as word got around, more and more children crowded around the swing set. I called a friend of mine who works at the conservation office. She suggested we just leave the turtle alone. I was intrigued by the reaction of the children playing at the park. They lost all interest in the playground. They just wanted to watch the turtle.
Today has confirmed for me that children belong in nature. They can learn everything they need to in a natural environment and so much more. They can build a chicken coop to practise their math skills. They can journal their observations to use their writing skills. Tasks can be assigned to each student to teach responsibility. Compassion, leadership and team work are taught effortlessly through hands-on activities. This experience has ignited a desire in me to learn as much as I can about the natural world around me-such as the names of insects and plants.
If you are feeling stressed out, drive to the closest wooded area, take your shoes off, walk around, breathe in the fresh air, feel the ground under your feet and absorb the serenity of nature.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today was all about nature. I went to Camp Otterdale in Lombardy, Ontario with my daughter and both Grade 4 classes. As we drove up the winding driveway, through lush trees, on a dirt road, we saw rustic wood cabins appear all around us and were greeted by friendly staff. I saw the water up ahead and felt like I'd come home. I love being in the woods, close to water so I was in heaven.
We had such an amazing day! We started with arts and crafts in the cabin closest to the water. I'll let you in on a little secret...I am NOT good at arts and crafts. I am creative and I enjoy painting, sculpting, journalling or collages but making bracelets out of gimp is so not my talent. I was able to watch and learn as camp monitors taught my daughter and her classmates how to make various styles of bracelets-some easy, others very challenging.
I got to watch my daughter try her hand at archery. She needed lots of guidance at first but she did quite well in the end. The students were so excited by this activity. It's much harder than it appears which makes it all the more sweeter when you get the arrow anywhere close to the target. The group then learned an activity called Bouldering. It's like rock climbing but you move sideways across the boulders instead of rising to the top. You can climb all the way around from one side of the wall to the back of the wall-both sides have boulders on them. I loved watching the confidence grow throughout this activity. Initially, students would complain that it was hot out, that they couldn't get a firm grip and that they weren't sure what to do. However, many disappeared behind the wall to practise out of sight only to emerge victorious and full of pride.
We all enjoyed our pizza lunch in the main hall. There were camp songs and a few speeches and then we were off to our walk on the nature trail. The children loved the caterpillars. They collected them and had masses of them draped all over their arms. We learned how to make maple sugar, named the maple trees and the chickens and, enjoyed the walk through the wilderness.
By the time we got home, we felt sun-sucked but satisfied. I picked up my youngest daughter from school. She had a silk worm. She found it in the school yard. She carried it in a sandwich bag until we got home and transferred it to a mason jar with some leaves. She was excited to show everyone her new friend-Squirmy.
After supper, I took the girls to the park. There was a snapping turtle under the swings. She was laying her eggs. There was no one there initially but as word got around, more and more children crowded around the swing set. I called a friend of mine who works at the conservation office. She suggested we just leave the turtle alone. I was intrigued by the reaction of the children playing at the park. They lost all interest in the playground. They just wanted to watch the turtle.
Today has confirmed for me that children belong in nature. They can learn everything they need to in a natural environment and so much more. They can build a chicken coop to practise their math skills. They can journal their observations to use their writing skills. Tasks can be assigned to each student to teach responsibility. Compassion, leadership and team work are taught effortlessly through hands-on activities. This experience has ignited a desire in me to learn as much as I can about the natural world around me-such as the names of insects and plants.
If you are feeling stressed out, drive to the closest wooded area, take your shoes off, walk around, breathe in the fresh air, feel the ground under your feet and absorb the serenity of nature.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Sunday, 13 March 2016
Night Talks
March 13th, 2016
Every night, my girls want to talk before bed. I used to read stories to them then, we started to make up our own stories, now we have graduated to talking about life. My eldest usually initiates this: "Can we just talk, Mom?" What I find interesting is that I am around throughout the day on weekends, trying to connect with them. This can be difficult at times because they want to do different activities and they each want me to choose their activity. I have to bargain, promising to draw with my eldest then play dolls with my youngest. During the day, they seem so mature. I get a few eye rolls or they resist what I am asking them to do. "Brush my teeth? Why? I'm not going out today?" When night comes around, they want to cuddle and talk. I love it!
They talk about school. I find out who they play with at recess, those friends are sometimes different from the ones who come over for playdates. They tell me their stories about who they "broke up" with and why. They hint at some girls who are mean to them. They ask questions they may not ask during the day when we can see each other's faces.
They confess their fears and share their dreams. My eldest is trying to decide how famous she wants to be. She hates the thought of papparazzi being in her face with their cameras but she is determined to become a superstar. She once described her entire tour schedule. Apparently, her entire tour ends in Brazil. We have never been to Brazil or even talked about Brazil but she studied her map of the world and chose a variety of locations to ensure she spreads herself evenly around the globe. Both my daughters don't want to have children because they don't want their bellies to look like mine :). My eldest wants to get married, my youngest isn't interested in marriage. They both swear they will never move away. They want to stay in their room at the house for the rest of their lives.
I enjoy these conversations because I get to convey my values without preaching, just by responding to their questions and stories. Sometimes I tell them about a mistake I made when I was little and what happened as a consequence. Lately, I've been trying to introduce them to music. On Friday, as we were celebrating the start of March Break, I wanted to share Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd. They were not interested in hearing my "old, boring" music. My husband tries to tell them about David Bowie and the Beatles (more eye rolling from the girls). At least, my eldest is hooked on Michael Jackson. I was a huge fan of his when I was her age. One night, we watched a bunch of his videos, singing and dancing along as a family and she was hooked. Now she imitates him, as I used to do at her age, she has a poster of him in her room and she wishes she could have met him when he was alive.
I am happy and proud to have our night talks. Right now the girls fight to spend time with me but, one day, soon enough, they will be teenagers and they will be harder to reach. I hope our talks create a ritual that maintains the lines of communication open for when we need it the most.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Every night, my girls want to talk before bed. I used to read stories to them then, we started to make up our own stories, now we have graduated to talking about life. My eldest usually initiates this: "Can we just talk, Mom?" What I find interesting is that I am around throughout the day on weekends, trying to connect with them. This can be difficult at times because they want to do different activities and they each want me to choose their activity. I have to bargain, promising to draw with my eldest then play dolls with my youngest. During the day, they seem so mature. I get a few eye rolls or they resist what I am asking them to do. "Brush my teeth? Why? I'm not going out today?" When night comes around, they want to cuddle and talk. I love it!
They talk about school. I find out who they play with at recess, those friends are sometimes different from the ones who come over for playdates. They tell me their stories about who they "broke up" with and why. They hint at some girls who are mean to them. They ask questions they may not ask during the day when we can see each other's faces.
They confess their fears and share their dreams. My eldest is trying to decide how famous she wants to be. She hates the thought of papparazzi being in her face with their cameras but she is determined to become a superstar. She once described her entire tour schedule. Apparently, her entire tour ends in Brazil. We have never been to Brazil or even talked about Brazil but she studied her map of the world and chose a variety of locations to ensure she spreads herself evenly around the globe. Both my daughters don't want to have children because they don't want their bellies to look like mine :). My eldest wants to get married, my youngest isn't interested in marriage. They both swear they will never move away. They want to stay in their room at the house for the rest of their lives.
I enjoy these conversations because I get to convey my values without preaching, just by responding to their questions and stories. Sometimes I tell them about a mistake I made when I was little and what happened as a consequence. Lately, I've been trying to introduce them to music. On Friday, as we were celebrating the start of March Break, I wanted to share Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd. They were not interested in hearing my "old, boring" music. My husband tries to tell them about David Bowie and the Beatles (more eye rolling from the girls). At least, my eldest is hooked on Michael Jackson. I was a huge fan of his when I was her age. One night, we watched a bunch of his videos, singing and dancing along as a family and she was hooked. Now she imitates him, as I used to do at her age, she has a poster of him in her room and she wishes she could have met him when he was alive.
I am happy and proud to have our night talks. Right now the girls fight to spend time with me but, one day, soon enough, they will be teenagers and they will be harder to reach. I hope our talks create a ritual that maintains the lines of communication open for when we need it the most.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 10 March 2016
Learning
March 9th, 2016
I love reading, writing and watching documentaries. I am very curious and, thankfully, my husband and children share my thirst for knowledge. I am puzzled by our school system. Our teachers are trained to transfer their knowledge to students but we keep increasing class sizes while decreasing support. I have two daughters. I love them and do my best as their parent but it's a tough job being a mom (or dad). I can't imagine being alone with thirty students, having to be a good role model, managing behaviours and teaching skills to these students so they perform well during testing by the Ministry of Education. I think it's time we take a good look at what we are trying to achieve and support teachers in reaching these goals.
Children are naturally curious. They observe and ask questions, they touch everything. They do NOT like to sit still for long periods of time and, if you talk to them for longer than five minutes, you can be sure they are not listening. They are busy using their active imagination. We know children love playing outdoors, they learn from one another and by observing adults, they want to explore new objects and environments. However, we design classrooms to encourage sitting and place desks strategically so students are all facing and listening to the adult.
As a college professor, I challenged myself to teach in ways that involved every student in my class. I would start with a story to set up the theme of the day and engage my auditory students. I showed a brief video clip or drawing to reach the visual students. They could download note outlines which helped them organize the information. We woud then have an activity to provide hands-on instruction for kinesthetic learners. In this way, every student learned the same information in their own way.
Once my daughters started school, I noticed their attitude toward their homework. They would tell me they spent a lot of time doing these exact same activities at school. They didn't understand the need to do more of the same thing at home. I watched their enthusiasm for learning fade over time. This worried me because I wanted them to stay curious and excited about learning new things. I started looking into different types of schools.
Montessori schools organize their classrooms into learning areas so students can visit the different sections and learn by interacting with the supplies. The teacher respects the interests of each student and facilitates learning. One example that impressed me was how students learned about geography. Instead of speaking about a place that exists far away as an abstract concept, students were assembling a puzzle of a world map so they learned where each continent and country belonged. They also ate foods from various areas, did art about the flags of different countries and practiced traditions. The students were moving around the class, learning at their own pace, following their interests.
What appealed to me about Waldorf schools was their connection to nature and creativity. There is a return to craftsmanship as students learn to bake bread, weave scarves and carve sculptures out of wood. Students are encouraged to express themselves and teachers support their development in holistic ways. There is a rich culture and many traditions within this school setting. I took my girls to a few Waldorf festivals and noticed that many age groups were learning the same topic at varying levels of maturity reflected in the expectations placed on them during the activity. It felt like a very respectful, wholesome learning environment.
The Reggio approach is my favorite. Reggio schools focus on the curiosity of students. They develop entire lesson plans around the interests of their students. Students may ask a question or perhaps something is happening in the world at that time that the students are trying to understand. The teacher organizes a project that the classroom can work on collaboratively. Teachers and students are exploring this topic together, learning from each other. This is a very exciting, active way of learning. What I love most is that all students are involved in the learning process in a non-competitive way.
Teachers start out with a passion for learning and teaching as well as a love of children. They need support through manageable class sizes, teacher's assistants and access to exciting resource materials. Also, if teachers can work together on lesson plans, each one building on what the other has taught, there will be more collaboration, less stress and better results.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I love reading, writing and watching documentaries. I am very curious and, thankfully, my husband and children share my thirst for knowledge. I am puzzled by our school system. Our teachers are trained to transfer their knowledge to students but we keep increasing class sizes while decreasing support. I have two daughters. I love them and do my best as their parent but it's a tough job being a mom (or dad). I can't imagine being alone with thirty students, having to be a good role model, managing behaviours and teaching skills to these students so they perform well during testing by the Ministry of Education. I think it's time we take a good look at what we are trying to achieve and support teachers in reaching these goals.
Children are naturally curious. They observe and ask questions, they touch everything. They do NOT like to sit still for long periods of time and, if you talk to them for longer than five minutes, you can be sure they are not listening. They are busy using their active imagination. We know children love playing outdoors, they learn from one another and by observing adults, they want to explore new objects and environments. However, we design classrooms to encourage sitting and place desks strategically so students are all facing and listening to the adult.
As a college professor, I challenged myself to teach in ways that involved every student in my class. I would start with a story to set up the theme of the day and engage my auditory students. I showed a brief video clip or drawing to reach the visual students. They could download note outlines which helped them organize the information. We woud then have an activity to provide hands-on instruction for kinesthetic learners. In this way, every student learned the same information in their own way.
Once my daughters started school, I noticed their attitude toward their homework. They would tell me they spent a lot of time doing these exact same activities at school. They didn't understand the need to do more of the same thing at home. I watched their enthusiasm for learning fade over time. This worried me because I wanted them to stay curious and excited about learning new things. I started looking into different types of schools.
Montessori schools organize their classrooms into learning areas so students can visit the different sections and learn by interacting with the supplies. The teacher respects the interests of each student and facilitates learning. One example that impressed me was how students learned about geography. Instead of speaking about a place that exists far away as an abstract concept, students were assembling a puzzle of a world map so they learned where each continent and country belonged. They also ate foods from various areas, did art about the flags of different countries and practiced traditions. The students were moving around the class, learning at their own pace, following their interests.
What appealed to me about Waldorf schools was their connection to nature and creativity. There is a return to craftsmanship as students learn to bake bread, weave scarves and carve sculptures out of wood. Students are encouraged to express themselves and teachers support their development in holistic ways. There is a rich culture and many traditions within this school setting. I took my girls to a few Waldorf festivals and noticed that many age groups were learning the same topic at varying levels of maturity reflected in the expectations placed on them during the activity. It felt like a very respectful, wholesome learning environment.
The Reggio approach is my favorite. Reggio schools focus on the curiosity of students. They develop entire lesson plans around the interests of their students. Students may ask a question or perhaps something is happening in the world at that time that the students are trying to understand. The teacher organizes a project that the classroom can work on collaboratively. Teachers and students are exploring this topic together, learning from each other. This is a very exciting, active way of learning. What I love most is that all students are involved in the learning process in a non-competitive way.
Teachers start out with a passion for learning and teaching as well as a love of children. They need support through manageable class sizes, teacher's assistants and access to exciting resource materials. Also, if teachers can work together on lesson plans, each one building on what the other has taught, there will be more collaboration, less stress and better results.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 26 January 2016
40+ Woman-LL
January 26th, 2016
Last night, I had an inspiring conversation with a 46 year old professional woman. LL was excited to celebrate her 40th birthday. It was a positive experience for her. She is not frightened by the aging process. She welcomes it with gratitude. She feels happy to be alive. "Aging is the greatest gift ever and we must celebrate every year, wrinkles and all!"
At 46 years of age, LL is much more confident. She is less concerned with what others think. She fearlessly makes decisions because she learns from her mistakes, they become part of her journey. It's easier to move forward if you know you can't go wrong. She wouldn't change anything about her life because she wouldn't be who she is without each of those experiences.
LL divorced her husband of 20 years when she was 43 years old . She moved away with her sons, within the same neighbourhood, so her youngest could stay in the same school. She believes women suddenly make important decisions in their 40s because when they are younger they are too busy to think about their life. There is so much to do: studies, work, marriage, mothering young children etc. When their children have grown, women start asking questions: Is this it? What do I want? What would I like the next portion of my life to look like? Who would I like to spend the rest of my life with? What do I like or hate about my life right now? She believes hormones also play a role in this because she has noticed a link between anxiety and getting her period. Is it possible that not getting one's period is correlated with more confidence and bolder decisions?
LL supervises many younger women. She recognizes that they think very differently from her. Her advice to teenagers or young women is to "listen to that little voice inside, we all have it. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Stop worrying about what others think. Just accept yourself for who you are.
If you want to change something about your life, just do it". LL is a totally different person now
compared to 20 years ago. If she knew back then what she knows now, her journey would have looked very different. She has learned to love and appreciate herself. She pruned her friendships and realized she often treated her friends better than she treated herself. She would never treat her friends as poorly as she has treated herself in the past.
Her legacy is to teach young women to manage their expectations. They want everything now. They put too much pressure on themselves to have the fancy car, the big house and the impressive job title
at work. LL wishes she could help them understand that everything is temporary. It changes the way you approach life if you perceive it as temporary. Otherwise, you get married and think: This is my life or, you have young children and imagine life will always be this way.
LL has a successful career but she measures her success through her children. She is proud of her sons, aged 17 and 22. They are not perfect but they have survived many challenges and have turned out well. LL is going through a transition right now. She is shifting her focus away from her children
who were her main preoccupation for many years. She admits feeling a little guilty as she states that she wants to focus on herself, to put her oxygen mask on first, not in a selfish way but in order to
restore balance in her life. This shift impacts every aspect of her life. She has a wonderful career but she is eager to become a life coach. She believes it's important to stop and assess your life. It helps you decide where to spend your time and energy.
After her divorce, she was so scared of being alone she was physically, violently sick for weeks. Now she doesn't feel the need to be with someone in order to be happy. She'd love to share her life with someone but she no longer feels dependent on anyone else. She has been dating a new man for eight months and, even though her sons are still important to her, she is preparing for the next phase of her life.
She has an extraordinary network of friends who are very supportive of her. She also has a very active lifestyle. This keeps her heathy and energized. She enjoys biking, skiing, swimming, doing
yoga and meditation. The older she gets, the more physical activity she needs. She likes to challenge herself every year. This year, she plans to complete a triathlon.
Now that she is older and wiser, having lost several friends over the years, she recognizes the importance of not putting off to tomorrow what you can do today. When she was younger, she didn't understand why her father took her mother out for a date every Saturday to socialize with friends. She didn't understand why they had to visit her grandparents so often. Now that her father has progressed to the last stages of Alzheimer's and her mother is diagnosed with Parkinson's, she understands a lot. She hopes to eventually use her wisdom to empower other women through her coaching practice.
It has been a pleasure to interview you. Best of luck!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Last night, I had an inspiring conversation with a 46 year old professional woman. LL was excited to celebrate her 40th birthday. It was a positive experience for her. She is not frightened by the aging process. She welcomes it with gratitude. She feels happy to be alive. "Aging is the greatest gift ever and we must celebrate every year, wrinkles and all!"
At 46 years of age, LL is much more confident. She is less concerned with what others think. She fearlessly makes decisions because she learns from her mistakes, they become part of her journey. It's easier to move forward if you know you can't go wrong. She wouldn't change anything about her life because she wouldn't be who she is without each of those experiences.
LL divorced her husband of 20 years when she was 43 years old . She moved away with her sons, within the same neighbourhood, so her youngest could stay in the same school. She believes women suddenly make important decisions in their 40s because when they are younger they are too busy to think about their life. There is so much to do: studies, work, marriage, mothering young children etc. When their children have grown, women start asking questions: Is this it? What do I want? What would I like the next portion of my life to look like? Who would I like to spend the rest of my life with? What do I like or hate about my life right now? She believes hormones also play a role in this because she has noticed a link between anxiety and getting her period. Is it possible that not getting one's period is correlated with more confidence and bolder decisions?
LL supervises many younger women. She recognizes that they think very differently from her. Her advice to teenagers or young women is to "listen to that little voice inside, we all have it. Love yourself. Trust yourself. Stop worrying about what others think. Just accept yourself for who you are.
If you want to change something about your life, just do it". LL is a totally different person now
compared to 20 years ago. If she knew back then what she knows now, her journey would have looked very different. She has learned to love and appreciate herself. She pruned her friendships and realized she often treated her friends better than she treated herself. She would never treat her friends as poorly as she has treated herself in the past.
Her legacy is to teach young women to manage their expectations. They want everything now. They put too much pressure on themselves to have the fancy car, the big house and the impressive job title
at work. LL wishes she could help them understand that everything is temporary. It changes the way you approach life if you perceive it as temporary. Otherwise, you get married and think: This is my life or, you have young children and imagine life will always be this way.
LL has a successful career but she measures her success through her children. She is proud of her sons, aged 17 and 22. They are not perfect but they have survived many challenges and have turned out well. LL is going through a transition right now. She is shifting her focus away from her children
who were her main preoccupation for many years. She admits feeling a little guilty as she states that she wants to focus on herself, to put her oxygen mask on first, not in a selfish way but in order to
restore balance in her life. This shift impacts every aspect of her life. She has a wonderful career but she is eager to become a life coach. She believes it's important to stop and assess your life. It helps you decide where to spend your time and energy.
After her divorce, she was so scared of being alone she was physically, violently sick for weeks. Now she doesn't feel the need to be with someone in order to be happy. She'd love to share her life with someone but she no longer feels dependent on anyone else. She has been dating a new man for eight months and, even though her sons are still important to her, she is preparing for the next phase of her life.
She has an extraordinary network of friends who are very supportive of her. She also has a very active lifestyle. This keeps her heathy and energized. She enjoys biking, skiing, swimming, doing
yoga and meditation. The older she gets, the more physical activity she needs. She likes to challenge herself every year. This year, she plans to complete a triathlon.
Now that she is older and wiser, having lost several friends over the years, she recognizes the importance of not putting off to tomorrow what you can do today. When she was younger, she didn't understand why her father took her mother out for a date every Saturday to socialize with friends. She didn't understand why they had to visit her grandparents so often. Now that her father has progressed to the last stages of Alzheimer's and her mother is diagnosed with Parkinson's, she understands a lot. She hopes to eventually use her wisdom to empower other women through her coaching practice.
It has been a pleasure to interview you. Best of luck!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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