October 27th, 2016
Today is a hard day. On Monday, October 17th, I enjoyed a thai massage. My masseuse was excellent and I really felt that I was doing something great for myself. However, as with every treatment I've had seen our car accident in July 2012 (massage, physic, acupuncture, cranio sacral etc), there were consequences to this stimulation.
I haven't been able to feel the back of my head since the accident. I sometimes wake up and my skull is numb, it feels the same as when your arm falls asleep. I have also had vessels burst in my eyes on a regular basis. I visited the eye doctor and he claims my eyes are healthy. He is puzzled by this and suggested I "keep an eye on it".
When I wake up in the morning, my lower back is in pain. I have to roll over and slowly ease myself out of bed. I am in my 40s, what will I be like in my 80s? I also have a sore ovary, it hurts when it's ovulating. This has been an issue since the accident because of the pressure from the seat belt during impact.
Initially, after the crash, I was sleeping most of the day. I was dizzy and nauseous, I experienced headaches (something that had never happened before), I had a sore back and ovary. My mother came to help but I had to function as best I could, as fast as possible because my daughters were at home for the summer.
By the time I received treatment, it was September. I thought I was healing and progressing well but I had no idea how damaged I actually was. I went for a massage and experienced non-stop headaches for two weeks. I promised myself never to do that again. I booked sessions with my physiotherapist. She couldn't do any physical manipulations because my central nervous system was so out of whack. As soon as she started working on me, I would have to run to the washroom and empty my bowel. She used crania-sacral therapy for our sessions together. She added a heating pad, some electrical stimulation and acupuncture as our time together drew to a close. We weren't done healing my brain but the insurance was done paying so I stopped going.
I decided to start working out. I joined a gym, briefed my fitness trainer and we took it slow. I enjoyed the treadmill and did some basic machines to work on my legs and arms (without straining my neck) and floor exercises like lunges and stretches. I had to be careful not to overdo it as I would hit a wall of fatigue and couldn't function for the rest of the day.
I had to adjust my schedule, not driving at night which means my husband now takes the girls to gymnastics, not scheduling clients at night because I am too tired and therefore don't want to try to help people when my brain is not at its best and, drastically reducing my time with our daughters each night. They used to get quality time playing with me 1:1 as well as bath time. We have switched to showers and a story. They still get angry sometimes that I am not the same mommy. They wish we had never been in an accident. Me too.
Why am I re-hashing all of this today? A few days after my thai massage, I started to get a headache. Then I noticed I was grumpy at night, not my usual patient self. I was running out of energy more quickly. If the girls were asking for a snack or wanting me to stay with them until they fell asleep, I was grumpy about it. I wasn't being myself. Then I woke up at night but instead of my head being numb at the back, I was experiencing sensations. This sounds like a good thing but it hurts. I have this aching in the back of my head where the numbness used to be. It's very scary to discover, every time I do anything for my health, that my brain has still not healed. I feel frightened that I'll have a stroke and won't be here or healthy enough to care for my girls. I worry that my brain is turning off and I'll end up with early dementia. This may not sound rational but, on days like today when I feel just how vulnerable I am when it comes to my brain, it feels reasonable to worry.
This is a hard day because I have been out interviewing moms for the book, I have a client scheduled in later today, my daughters have a PD day tomorrow and I have a workshop and a birthday party for my youngest on Saturday. The old me would be very excited, the present me wonders if I'll have the energy for it all. Will I ever NOT feel brain damaged? I don't know. Meanwhile, the young lady who crashed into us, because she was busy texting, is out there, free, unscathed, planning her life and, on days like today, I resent that. There was never a call, a letter, any indication that she felt bad or even gave it a second thought. Today is a bad day. I will keep moving forward, loving my children for as long as I can and trying to make a difference while I have the chance.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label impact. Show all posts
Showing posts with label impact. Show all posts
Thursday, 27 October 2016
Wednesday, 14 September 2016
Book of the Week-E2 by Pam Grout
September 14th, 2016
Over the Summer holidays, I read E2 by Pam Grout. I have read plenty of books on quantum physics and the art of manifesting but this book was different. The author is fun to read but, more importantly, she provides experiments to prove once and for all that we are all energy and that we affect the energy of people and objects in our environment.
Animals are great teachers. They have an immediate reaction to people before they have even interacted. I watch my dog and cat whenever we have someone over for the first time. Sometimes they'll go over and cuddle, other times they stay away. I once saw my dog growl when a man came over to give us a quote for some renovations. The fur stood up on her back. I did not take this lightly.
We were all intuitive at one time. As children, we sensed the energy of the people around us and responded without censoring ourselves. I recall sitting on a man's lap at the bus station. I just walked over and sat on his lap. I think he was homeless. It felt very natural and I sensed that he needed some love. I only felt scared when I saw the look on my mother's face. She was looking a bit pale and asked me to come with her. I said goodbye to my new friend and hopped off his lap.
As we get older, we learn to ignore our gut and overlook signs that we are in danger, that a job isn't right for us or that we shouldn't trust the salesman trying to sell us life insurance. We not only numb ourselves to the reaction we have to others, we also send signals to the universe without realizing it. There are so many books on the power of positive thinking or explaining how to attract more money, men or health. We affirm and visualize to achieve our goals.
This book goes one step further. It takes us through nine experiments to show the direct result between our thoughts, the energy or frequency of these thoughts and their impact on our life. The first challenge involves requesting a sign from the universe within 48 hours. The second experiment proves that the world is a mirror. It reflects our expectations. My daughters and I set the intention of seeing green cars for the next 48 hours. I have never seen so many shades of green. My daughters got a kick out of it. They have repeated this experiment with other colours.
Then, I asked my mother to bring over her wire hangers and we tried the following exercise. You unwind the wire, attach a straw to the bent end and think about something you love while holding a hanger in each hand. Then you switch to focusing on something you hate. Negative thoughts shrink your energy and your hangers fold into one another. Love expands your energy, pushing the ends of each hanger away from each other. We used this activity just before my daughters started school. They were afraid of getting mean teachers or being in a class away from their friends. I asked them to draw a picture of themselves surrounded by their best friends and a smiling teacher. They didn't think it would work. Watching the impact of their thoughts on the hangers opened up their minds to new possibilities.
The most exciting activities came next. The reader is asked to set an intention and focus on manifesting one desire within 48 hours. I focused on manifesting an opportunity to make money through my writing. Within 24 hours, I saw a Facebook ad for a free conference to help writers publish their book and make money from their book.
Another challenge involves consulting the universe for guidance by asking yes or no questions. I was wondering whether or not to get chickens this year. I have been wanting to get chickens for three years now. My friend, Meredith, was raising chics so this was the perfect year to do it. I had a barn stall so I didn't need to build a chicken coop. However, the guy who was supposed to build the chicken run kept coming to the house when I was out and, here's the kicker, Meredith e-mailed me to say that what she thought were chickens were roosters. I don't want a rooster, that answers my question. Easy peasy!
The sixth experiment involved planting rosemary and focusing only on the herbs on the right side of the planter. Once again, I got the girls involved and we sent positive vibes, sang to and, said compliments to the herbs on the right side. Guess which side grew taller, faster and thicker? I really enjoyed the next experiment, it involved losing weight. People used to bless their food. The premise is that when we eat mindlessly, our food doesn't have as much positive impact as it could on our body. You weigh yourself on Day 1 and focus on your food, thanking it for its nourishment and really savouring it. You weigh yourself at the end of Day 3. You should notice a tiny shift in your weight. I saw a four pound difference.
The eighth activity challenges the reader to send a message to someone telepathically in order to get a response from them. This was a no-brainer. My mother and I are totally connected. I was thinking of her and headed down the stairs to get the phone and call her. My intention was to ask her if she suddenly thought of me. However, before I could reach the bottom of the steps, the phone rang. Guess who was calling?
Last but not least, I focused on gratitude, writing all the blessings in my life. There was some movement as a result of this. I was waiting on answers from a few people. I had e-mailed them and hadn't heard back. The answers all came in on the same day like some hold button had been released.
You may not believe that your thoughts have any impact on your environment. You may think, like many others, that you are victim of circumstances. I have tried these experiments for myself. I challenge you to try any of these experiments and watch what happens. What have you got to lose?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Over the Summer holidays, I read E2 by Pam Grout. I have read plenty of books on quantum physics and the art of manifesting but this book was different. The author is fun to read but, more importantly, she provides experiments to prove once and for all that we are all energy and that we affect the energy of people and objects in our environment.
Animals are great teachers. They have an immediate reaction to people before they have even interacted. I watch my dog and cat whenever we have someone over for the first time. Sometimes they'll go over and cuddle, other times they stay away. I once saw my dog growl when a man came over to give us a quote for some renovations. The fur stood up on her back. I did not take this lightly.
We were all intuitive at one time. As children, we sensed the energy of the people around us and responded without censoring ourselves. I recall sitting on a man's lap at the bus station. I just walked over and sat on his lap. I think he was homeless. It felt very natural and I sensed that he needed some love. I only felt scared when I saw the look on my mother's face. She was looking a bit pale and asked me to come with her. I said goodbye to my new friend and hopped off his lap.
As we get older, we learn to ignore our gut and overlook signs that we are in danger, that a job isn't right for us or that we shouldn't trust the salesman trying to sell us life insurance. We not only numb ourselves to the reaction we have to others, we also send signals to the universe without realizing it. There are so many books on the power of positive thinking or explaining how to attract more money, men or health. We affirm and visualize to achieve our goals.
This book goes one step further. It takes us through nine experiments to show the direct result between our thoughts, the energy or frequency of these thoughts and their impact on our life. The first challenge involves requesting a sign from the universe within 48 hours. The second experiment proves that the world is a mirror. It reflects our expectations. My daughters and I set the intention of seeing green cars for the next 48 hours. I have never seen so many shades of green. My daughters got a kick out of it. They have repeated this experiment with other colours.
Then, I asked my mother to bring over her wire hangers and we tried the following exercise. You unwind the wire, attach a straw to the bent end and think about something you love while holding a hanger in each hand. Then you switch to focusing on something you hate. Negative thoughts shrink your energy and your hangers fold into one another. Love expands your energy, pushing the ends of each hanger away from each other. We used this activity just before my daughters started school. They were afraid of getting mean teachers or being in a class away from their friends. I asked them to draw a picture of themselves surrounded by their best friends and a smiling teacher. They didn't think it would work. Watching the impact of their thoughts on the hangers opened up their minds to new possibilities.
The most exciting activities came next. The reader is asked to set an intention and focus on manifesting one desire within 48 hours. I focused on manifesting an opportunity to make money through my writing. Within 24 hours, I saw a Facebook ad for a free conference to help writers publish their book and make money from their book.
Another challenge involves consulting the universe for guidance by asking yes or no questions. I was wondering whether or not to get chickens this year. I have been wanting to get chickens for three years now. My friend, Meredith, was raising chics so this was the perfect year to do it. I had a barn stall so I didn't need to build a chicken coop. However, the guy who was supposed to build the chicken run kept coming to the house when I was out and, here's the kicker, Meredith e-mailed me to say that what she thought were chickens were roosters. I don't want a rooster, that answers my question. Easy peasy!
The sixth experiment involved planting rosemary and focusing only on the herbs on the right side of the planter. Once again, I got the girls involved and we sent positive vibes, sang to and, said compliments to the herbs on the right side. Guess which side grew taller, faster and thicker? I really enjoyed the next experiment, it involved losing weight. People used to bless their food. The premise is that when we eat mindlessly, our food doesn't have as much positive impact as it could on our body. You weigh yourself on Day 1 and focus on your food, thanking it for its nourishment and really savouring it. You weigh yourself at the end of Day 3. You should notice a tiny shift in your weight. I saw a four pound difference.
The eighth activity challenges the reader to send a message to someone telepathically in order to get a response from them. This was a no-brainer. My mother and I are totally connected. I was thinking of her and headed down the stairs to get the phone and call her. My intention was to ask her if she suddenly thought of me. However, before I could reach the bottom of the steps, the phone rang. Guess who was calling?
Last but not least, I focused on gratitude, writing all the blessings in my life. There was some movement as a result of this. I was waiting on answers from a few people. I had e-mailed them and hadn't heard back. The answers all came in on the same day like some hold button had been released.
You may not believe that your thoughts have any impact on your environment. You may think, like many others, that you are victim of circumstances. I have tried these experiments for myself. I challenge you to try any of these experiments and watch what happens. What have you got to lose?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 10 June 2016
Thank You Teachers!
June 10th, 2016
The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.
Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.
Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.
I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.
My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.
We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The school year is coming to a close and my daughters are busy writing poems for their teachers. They love their teachers this year! I am so relieved because there have been years where they did not click with them and it has such an impact on their motivation to go to school. Teachers have such an important role. They are with our children every day of the week, in groups of 30, trying to instil a thirst for knowledge or, even more challenging, a passion for their assigned subject. They must be an educator, entertainer, substitute parent, therapist, motivational speaker and nurse.
Teachers can't have a bad day. You know how we can all have one of those days at work where we tell someone off or curse, teachers can't do this because the children will quickly go home and report the whole thing to their parents. Parents are a whole other aspect of a teacher's job. Some parents won't reply to a teacher's messages, they don't want to come in for a visit or complete homework. Other parents think they should have been educators and so they attempt to coach the teachers to become better at their job. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everything right and keep the school out of trouble.
Compassionate teachers can suffer a burn out because they see that some children are growing up way too soon. They may have parents who are neglectful, abusive or struggling to make ends meet. They see group dynamics where some students are being rejected or ridiculed by peers. Teachers want to protect and promote confidence in their students but they are only one person. They recognize that their reach is limited and this is difficult to accept. You have such a mix of students in one class all with their own needs but just one adult to help them all.
I recall Mlle De Bellefeuille, a retired nun and grade 2 teacher who kept me in school after class to help her decorate the classroom. She was very kind to me and I knew she cared about me. My daughter Stella loves Mme Jocelyne because she is an artist. In December, we bought her teacher pencils and a mandala drawing book. Stella said she saw love in her teacher's eyes when she saw her gift. Stella was so happy. She wants to buy the exact same gift for her now, hoping for the same reaction. My daughter Molly loves Mrs Johnston and Mrs Granger. Mrs Johnston likes her and makes funny comments. Molly comes home and repeats her comments to me. She feels safe with her knowing that she will be kind to her and has her best interest at heart. Mrs Granger teaches both girls and they are very fond of her. She puts a lot of passion into her work, she teaches Shakespeare and Beethoven, creating plays and music videos. The kids have so much fun learning in her class. They will miss her over the summer for sure.
My eldest has come out of her shell this year. She has started gymnastics class and she does enjoy testing her body to see what she can do. She was exposed to floor hockey, badminton and performance arts through school this year. She did a 2 minute dance performance at the talent show with three of her friends. She is willing to try new experiences now which comes from being in a school where she feels valued, safe and loved. My youngest has made lots of friends and is excited to learn in class and try out sports in the gym. Both girls have Mr. Matheson who is fun-loving and approachable. They love when he acts goofy with them.
We put so many expectations on teachers, their work is crucial to the healthy development of our children, they impact their desire to keep learning as well as their self-esteem. No other job has such high stakes. I would like to thank all the teachers for their hard work and devotion. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)