Father's Day

June 17th, 2016

I never knew my father. As a child, on Father's Day I either created a card for my uncle Jack or my grandfather. It was normal for me, no one made a big deal out of it so it didn't bother me. When my husband and I got married, my uncle Jack walked me down the aisle. It was a special moment that I will treasure forever.

My husband did know his father. I don't think he knew him well because he was rarely home, and when he was, there was violence, tension and, nine months later, a new sibling.

When we had our first child, I saw the most amazing look on my husband's face. I had lost a lot of blood and required stitching so no one paid attention to him. He was walking around with our daughter all bundled up, showing her off. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to do that but by the time the nurses noticed he had gotten around the unit and everyone had met Molly. I have a photo of Vincent holding Molly in his arms, beaming with pride.

Fatherhood was challenging for my husband at first. He had plenty of negative role models and he desperately wanted to be a good dad. I had no idea what dads did on a daily basis. I was close to my uncle Jack, my grandfather and my Godfather but I didn't live with them so I had no clue how a father interacts with his daughter day to day.

Over time, Vincent found his own way to bond with our daughters but their relationship didn't bloom until the girls were older. Now, he is known for his silliness. He makes the girls laugh. They know they can depend on him- he does what he says and shows up when he's supposed to. He is very affectionate and always kisses their booboos. He tells them they are "clever" and that he loves them. He is also more interested in fashion than I am. He's a stylist so he knows what is in and what isn't. He buys the girls cool outfits and accessories. I am clueless when it comes to fashion. I don't know or care what's in and I don't wear accessories (or makeup for that matter).

Father's Day was never really special to me before but, now that the children and I are celebrating my husband, it has a new meaning for me. I am proud that my children will grow up knowing their father and that he is a positive influence in their lives. I was shopping for cards from my children and from myself for my husband and it struck me how different Father's Day cards are from Mother's Day cards. The messages for dads are about feeling safe, cared for and protected. The Mother's Day cards are more about being nurtured and loved. Both roles are important. We balance each other out.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there, spending time with their children, working hard, being a great role model and source of love for the next generation!

Anne Walsh
www.artsnoul.org