Showing posts with label safety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label safety. Show all posts

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

Remembrance Day

November 9th, 2016

Last night, my eldest came into our bed. She's a tosser and turner so we didn't get a decent sleep. This morning started off with the news that Trump would become the next US President. I felt like I was going to throw up. I have been needing to renew my passport but I put it off because my husband and I like to go to Ogdensburg, New York every week. We get groceries at Price Chopper, cheap gas for the truck and eat a fabulous buffet lunch at Buster's. I won't be venturing over the border any time soon so, next week, I'll be renewing my passport.

Vin and I were also waiting until the election to book our holiday for next March. We were planning on a trip to the Florida Keys but we knew there was a chance that Trump would be in power, meaning there would be upheaval and potentially riots. I don't feel safe in the US under Trump's "leadership". We had explored other options; Mexico, Cuba, the Bahamas. We talked about booking our trip all week, we were going to do it today. However, we both had our hearts set on Florida and, as we looked over the properties in Mexico, as gorgeous as they seemed, we couldn't do it.

The parallels between Trump and Hitler are frightening. I wonder if we are about to witness WW3. My daughters are preparing for a Remembrance Day ceremony. A few nights ago, we were discussing the meaning of Remembrance Day. They see older men in uniform parading down the main street. They hear depressing music and long speeches about soldiers who fought for our freedom. They don't get it. I wish they had a grandfather to speak to, someone they know and love who has been through the war. So I talked to them about the boys in their class, the ones they like. I asked them to imagine that they are 19 years old, dating and that there is a war. I explained that, just like them, young women were in love and imagining a future with their boyfriends. Only, they were drafted, this means they received a letter stating that they had to go and be soldiers. These young boys were scared, they didn't want to go. They went far from their families, grouped with other young boys just as frightened as they were. They received training in combat and weaponry. Then, these young men were sent out to fight against other scared young boys from other countries. They had to protect themselves, shoot at other people otherwise they would be shot. Lots of these young men were killed or they saw others being killed. Some didn't come home, others returned but they were never the same. I wondered if I was traumatizing them by telling them all of this. However, I want them to understand that these older men were once young boys who did the unimaginable. They risked their lives to protect what we take for granted every day.

I took down the Halloween decorations and had an idea. We should all decorate our homes in honour of Remembrance Day. Red poppies all over the lawn, flags, messages on signs that say, Thank you for keeping us safe. Maybe if we had Remembrance Day decorations, people would resist the urge to bring out the Christmas decorations before Remembrance Day.

As we head into Trump's four year term, I am frightened, uncertain about the future of our neighbours in the US and worried about the impact of their election on our own peaceful nation. However, more than ever, I am grateful to the men and women who have served and still work hard to protect this amazing country of ours.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Alcohol

September 13th, 2016

I have never been a drinker. Growing up, my grandmother and her siblings liked to play cards and drink. I loved the sound of everyone talking, joking and laughing. There was an easy camaraderie among them as they drank, played and smoked. I was too young to play cards or to drink. I don't know where I was or what I was doing while this was happening but I know it all seemed like fun.

I spent a great deal of time with my maternal grandmother. She was very feisty and funny but she spent her days cooking and cleaning. I once asked her what she would have done for a living if she was born in my generation. She answered that she would have cleaned-her own house, other homes, hotels, condos, she just loves to clean and she couldn't imagine herself doing anything else.

There are two skills that my grandmother taught me. She encouraged me to whistle. My grandfather believed that little girls shouldn't whistle. This, of course, made my grandmother insist that I become a great whistler. She also taught me to pour a beer properly. If you tilt the glass and the bottle as you pour the beer, you get less head and more beer. I needed this skill to do a good job pouring her beer every evening. She drank a beer (or two) every night until she died at the ripe age of 100. To this day, every time I smell beer, I am reminded of my grandmother's breath. She used to burp under her breath as she spoke to me and a waft of beer stench would follow. My husband loves beer and it is the biggest turn off for me when he has a beer and comes over for a kiss. It's like kissing my grandma, yuck!

A few years ago, we were at a cottage in Dunrobin. A few doors up from us, our neighbours were playing games like horseshoe and bean bag toss. It reminded me of my grandma and her siblings only, this time, I was invited. I was so excited to be part of the fun. I had a ginger ale and joined the game. About an hour into the game, my husband said we should get back, we had to let the dog out or some other excuse. I thanked them for a fun time and we headed back to our cottage. When we got back, I asked him why he wanted to leave. He explained that some people get happy when they drink and others get nasty. Our host was part of the latter group. I hadn't noticed this but he told me she was making remarks and getting meaner as she drank. He imagined that they would be fighting before long.

My husband comes from a family of drinkers as well. While my loved ones got louder, rowdier, his family members went from holding in their quiet rage to exploding into fist fights, spewing angry, hurtful words. He knew the signs. He had learned to notice the first indications that emotions were escalating. This was a survival tool for him during his childhood, it gave him a head start so he could run and hide before things got ugly.

People drink for different reasons. They may be shy and feel more confident once they've had a drink. They could use it to numb the pain of abuse or in order to belong to a group. One study linked loneliness to addiction. This made me think. No matter what happens in life, it seems more manageable through the support of loved ones. You are no longer alone. That is the whole point of self-help books and support groups. You see that you are not alone and you learn what others have done to get through their own hard times. This gives you hope that you can also overcome your hardship and live a better life.

What if there is no support in your life? What if you are a child and the dangers lurk in your home? How would you know that you can reach out and get help? You would expect other adults to respond just as your parents, aunts and uncles do. This leads to perceived helplessness and the cycle of addiction begins. You don't think anyone else would understand. You can't image that others would care. You perceive yourself as helpless to create anything better for your life. What's left? Numbing your pain. You drink and, suddenly, nothing matters. It doesn't hurt anymore and, as long as you stay drunk, you'll be ok. You can't have anyone challenge your behaviours, drinking "works" for you. You don't want to live without it, it would be too painful so you build a network of friends who also drink, you find your niche. You walk into bars and you belong. You just sit, drink and exchange stories.

The point of this post is twofold. If you have are addicted to alcohol, know that there is support out there, that you can live a better life, one that doesn't depend on staying numb. You deserve to be loved and live your life to the fullest. There is a reason you are here. It could be that what has happened to you, the source of your pain, is precisely why you are here. You are meant to rise above it and help others.

My second point is, if you love someone who is addicted to alcohol, shaming or controlling alcohol consumption will never work. Find the pain at the core of this addiction. Gather a group of individuals to inspire your loved one. This can be support groups, AA meetings, biographies of people who have recovered from alcohol or, self-help books that have a step by step process to make  better choices and develop healthier habits.

You also need to take care of yourself. Never accept abuse from anyone. Whether you love someone who has a mental illness or an addiction, self-care is a must. Setting strong boundaries teaches your loved one about healthy relationships and ensures that you are safe. Do not isolate yourself, reach out and get support. Everything is easier when it is shared.

Anne Walsh
www,artnsoul.org

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Accessibility

July 5th, 2016

As my husband and I plan for the arrival of his mother, I am hyper aware of the challenges to people getting around town and our home in a wheelchair. My mother-in-law is able to walk but, I am told that she moves at a slow pace and gets tired easily. When my husband visited Europe with her last year, he rented a wheelchair to make the most of their trip and, to his surprise, she loved it!

She has never been to Ottawa and there are so many places we would like to share with her. Unfortunately, we are discovering that many older buildings do not have elevators or accessible entrances. As I walk around, I am noticing the many sidewalks that are uneven which would make it difficult for a person wheeling around town as they would constantly tilt over to one side. There are often breaks in the sidewalk. Where is the person supposed to go between the end of one section and the beginning of the other? Then there are streets like ours where sidewalks don't even exist.

We will rent a chair for the shower with a shower head extension as well as a transport wheelchair for her trip. She will sleep in our bedroom because it has its own en-suite in case she needs to use the restroom during the night. That is pretty easy but our bedroom is on the second floor as are both baths and the only shower in the house. This means she will have to get up and down the stairs at least twice daily. There are steps at both entrances to our home. We have been thinking about the easiest stairs for her to get into our home. Then there's the car.

We have two trucks with large wheels. You need to step up to get into them. Our one lower car is being fixed in time for her trip. We are keeping our fingers crossed that it will not break down during her visit. It is also one of the few cars with air conditioning. Our trucks have no air conditioning.

The children are very excited about our new pool. We have been wondering how to include their grandma while they are swimming. She loves pools and could spend all day in there but we need to find a way to get her in and out of the pool safely. The pool is 52" deep but we only have a ladder to get in and out of it and it is rather unstable. I have some people coming to build a deck with stairs and hand rails but we need big steps in the pool so she can ease in and out. That is our next mission.

We are very excited for her to arrive and want to make this trip memorable and positive. We hope that being prepared will result in a trip that feels effortless and comfortable. My mother-in-law doesn't use a wheelchair at home and I am sure she will be fine. However, as we delve into the world of mobility aids and accessible buildings, I am more aware of the countless preparations and obstacles faced every day by people who truly depend on their wheelchair to lead independent lives.

I challenge all of you to scan your workplace and assess whether or not it is accessible. Is there an accessible entrance? Are there working elevators to get to offices? Are the aisles wide enough for someone to get through easily? Are the washrooms accessible? When you go out for lunch, notice the set up in the restaurant or cafeteria. If you were in a wheelchair, how easy would it be for you to get in, reach the food (if in a cafeteria), pay for your food, get to your table (space between tables) and, sit at the table (height of the table)? It is a whole new world and examining it with new eyes has made me truly grateful for my mobility as well as raised my awareness about the need for greater accessibility in public places.

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org

Monday, 4 July 2016

Canada

July 4th, 2016

If you are reading this from the U.S.A., Happy Independence Day!

After the festivities on Canada Day, I was reflecting on what it means to be Canadian. Our country is so diverse, how do you compare people from each province and find something in common? That is what has been on my mind.

Unless you travel to other countries, you don't notice the things we Canadians take for granted. When we travelled to Italy, the architecture just blew us away. The buildings are so old. They have character, convey a feeling and are filled with history. The food is so fresh. People take great pride in their food and wine.

In Mexico, we enjoyed the people's sense of humour, their bonds with family and community and, their laid back attitude. We ate fresh, spicy food and drank cold beer.

Each trip to Florida, we notice the residents' pride in their country. There are flags everywhere, not just on July 4th. They take pride in their success and celebrate it. We see fancy cars, huge yachts, designer clothes and expensive, sumptuous food. Customer service is impressive in the US. They want to serve you. Can't find what you are looking for? They will help you find it even if it's not in their store. They don't charge you extra for bags and there is always someone willing to take your bags to the car for you.

So, what about Canada? I love my country. We have the huge rockies to the west, flat prairies in the middle, an entire province that speaks a different language and lively provinces to the east where fishing is a way of life and music is the thread that brings everyone together. Let's not forget about our northern neighbours, preserving their own traditions, richly grounded in art and ritual.

I am proud of my hometown, Ottawa, because people are generally friendly and tolerant. We keep our province clean, we welcome tourists and we provide a safe playground where people can enjoy the great outdoors-preserved parks and trails, waterways, conservation areas and campgrounds. We are peaceful and funny, responsible and hard working.

Proud to be Canadian!

Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org