March 8th, 2016
When I was teaching a course called, Recreation for Older Adults, I spent some time going over misconceptions about older adults. Young college students believed older adults are not sexual. They are kindly old people who tell stories and bake apple pies. We discussed these misconceptions to get our facts straight and, by the end of that first class, students were looking at their elders in a whole different way.
If you have worked with older adults, chances are you learned very quickly that their sex drive is NOT dead. In my first week working in long term care, I had my bottom pinched and slapped, male residents gave me compliments and asked me if I was married, they joked about the kinds of services they wanted and, they stared at my breasts while I fed them at lunch time. The ladies on my unit would fight over any new male resident. They would buy sweets at the coffee shop for him, they wore their best outfits and, I noticed the lipstick and blush making a sudden appearance. The ladies would head over to the male resident early to chat with him before the others had a chance. It was game on!
The data supports my statement that sex gets better with age. When you are young, you are still learning the basics about how your bits work. You are experimenting which is exciting but your partner is experimenting too so there's some hits and misses. If you are like most young women, you are focused on how you look: Does this thong make my butt look big? You are also wondering if the guy you are with likes you a little or a lot, as much as you want him to like you. During sex, you may be so precoccupied with making him feel good that you forget about your own needs. In movies, you see women who cum on command. The guy pulls down her undies and he's in. She instantly moans and has a mind-blowing orgasm. Really?
As you age, you have more knowledge about your body. You know what sets you off and you can guide your partner or do it yourself. Once you've reached menopause or you've had your tubes tied or your husband has had a vasectomy, you can enjoy sex without worrying about getting pregnant. When you are in a long term relationship, you feel connected to your partner, you trust and love each other, this adds intimacy to your sexual encounters. There is a peak in libido for women in midlife which means your husband will get more than he bargained for but I don't think he'll complain. Also, it takes longer for men to get hard and they can last longer. We've all experienced sex with a young adult who is so excited to be having sex that he ejaculates right out of the gate. Bummer! Older men can give you more bang for your buck which means you are not rushing to cum before he does.
Having sex is very healthy. Your blood is flowing through your body, including your all-important brain, your muscles get a workout and your heart is pumping hard. Your vagina also stays lubricated and flexible for future use if it is getting some action on a regular basis. You feel alive, vibrant and sexy into old age while maintaining a level of intimacy with your partner (instead of becoming Ernie and Bert). So we all need to stop treating older adults like they have no sex life. Media should portray the elderly in a more realistic light and we need to be living according to our own needs, not trying to live up to some external expectation: cut your hair, wear modest clothing and sensible shoes etc.. Boring!!!
I love meeting women who are older, vibrant, healthy, active and enjoying their life. That's the way I plan to age. What about you?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label older. Show all posts
Showing posts with label older. Show all posts
Thursday, 10 March 2016
Thursday, 25 February 2016
Louise Bourgeois-Art at ANY age
February 24th, 2016
When I was completing my art portfolio at the Ottawa School of Art, I received an assignment in my Art History class. Students had to pick an artist from a list of names, research this artist and present him or her to the class. I chose an obscure name, not Matisse or Picasso but Louise Bourgeois. I was surrounded by gifted artists and I was just passing through but I thought I could do a really good job at researching and presenting this artist.
I wasted no time reading up on Mrs Bourgeois and she rocked my world. I watched videos of this little old lady sculpting out of marble and metal. This tiny, frail elderly woman was fighting censors who objected to sexual imagery. She produced art to advocate for the rights of gay and lesbian individuals to marry. She also created art to support awareness and advocacy for ACT UP, an AIDS activist organization.
Louise Bourgeois was inspired to create art that examined sexuality, gender roles as well as the duality of vulnerability and control. She used her art to process early childhood trauma, mainly her awareness that her father was cheating on her ill mother with Louise's English tutor. Her father was domineering, making everyone else feel small and insignificant, including Louise. She explored her mother's vulnerability as well as her strength through projects like Femme Maison and Maman.
Femme Maison is a series of drawings, painting and sculptures of women's bodies either standing sideways or facing the viewer, sometimes the legs are straight but they can also be spread, feet touching to form a diamond. The head or sometimes the entire upper half of the body is a house instead of a head. This shows the women's preoccupation with everything domestic while being cut off from the rest of society. The sculpture I saw displayed a woman on her back, on the floor. Her head stuffed into what looks like a dog house.
Her series of spiders made of steel and marble is called Maman. They are an ode to her mother's strength and protective nature. Louise loved her mother. She watched her repair tapestries and saw this ability to fix things, like a spider working on her web, as a strength.
Her feelings about her father were also expressed through her art. Her sculpture, Fillette, is a two foot latex penis complete with head, shaft and testicles. I saw a photo of it hanging from a wire thread through the head, just dangling from the wall. During a photo shoot with Robert Mapplethorpe, she posed with her penis sculpture tucked in under her arm. The title of this phallic sculpture, Fillette, is meant to poke fun at it.
Much of Louise's work has a voyeuristic quality to it. She sculpted eyes out of metal and marble. She created installations called cells where you walked into a scenario that was meant to elicit an emotional response. There were some cells that you didn't walk into, you were just allowed to peer through an opening. In I Do. I Undo. I Redo. people were presented with three towers measuring 9 metres high, surrounded by spiral staircases. Guests were meant to climb up to the platform where they would see a jar with a figure of a mother and her child. The platforms were surrounded by huge mirrors so spectators could watch visitors interact with the art and with one another. In her Destruction of the Father installation, you witness the aftermath of a murder scene. She and a sibling have killed their father, dismembered and eaten him.
Louise was actively creating right up to her death. Her last creations were completed a week prior to her death at 98 years of age. For the last two years of her life, friend and photographer Alex Van Gelder photographed Mrs Bourgeois. In one photo she is wearing a black mask and holding a knife. In another photo she is staring at her aged face in the mirror. She was still showing her work in Museums in 2000 and 2001 in her 80s. This artist has examined many controversial subjects, creating provocative art with a variety of art mediums. She was creating and pushing buttons until her last breath in 2010. A life well lived, a great example for women everywhere, especially those who say they are too old to start creating.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
When I was completing my art portfolio at the Ottawa School of Art, I received an assignment in my Art History class. Students had to pick an artist from a list of names, research this artist and present him or her to the class. I chose an obscure name, not Matisse or Picasso but Louise Bourgeois. I was surrounded by gifted artists and I was just passing through but I thought I could do a really good job at researching and presenting this artist.
I wasted no time reading up on Mrs Bourgeois and she rocked my world. I watched videos of this little old lady sculpting out of marble and metal. This tiny, frail elderly woman was fighting censors who objected to sexual imagery. She produced art to advocate for the rights of gay and lesbian individuals to marry. She also created art to support awareness and advocacy for ACT UP, an AIDS activist organization.
Louise Bourgeois was inspired to create art that examined sexuality, gender roles as well as the duality of vulnerability and control. She used her art to process early childhood trauma, mainly her awareness that her father was cheating on her ill mother with Louise's English tutor. Her father was domineering, making everyone else feel small and insignificant, including Louise. She explored her mother's vulnerability as well as her strength through projects like Femme Maison and Maman.
Femme Maison is a series of drawings, painting and sculptures of women's bodies either standing sideways or facing the viewer, sometimes the legs are straight but they can also be spread, feet touching to form a diamond. The head or sometimes the entire upper half of the body is a house instead of a head. This shows the women's preoccupation with everything domestic while being cut off from the rest of society. The sculpture I saw displayed a woman on her back, on the floor. Her head stuffed into what looks like a dog house.
Her series of spiders made of steel and marble is called Maman. They are an ode to her mother's strength and protective nature. Louise loved her mother. She watched her repair tapestries and saw this ability to fix things, like a spider working on her web, as a strength.
Her feelings about her father were also expressed through her art. Her sculpture, Fillette, is a two foot latex penis complete with head, shaft and testicles. I saw a photo of it hanging from a wire thread through the head, just dangling from the wall. During a photo shoot with Robert Mapplethorpe, she posed with her penis sculpture tucked in under her arm. The title of this phallic sculpture, Fillette, is meant to poke fun at it.
Much of Louise's work has a voyeuristic quality to it. She sculpted eyes out of metal and marble. She created installations called cells where you walked into a scenario that was meant to elicit an emotional response. There were some cells that you didn't walk into, you were just allowed to peer through an opening. In I Do. I Undo. I Redo. people were presented with three towers measuring 9 metres high, surrounded by spiral staircases. Guests were meant to climb up to the platform where they would see a jar with a figure of a mother and her child. The platforms were surrounded by huge mirrors so spectators could watch visitors interact with the art and with one another. In her Destruction of the Father installation, you witness the aftermath of a murder scene. She and a sibling have killed their father, dismembered and eaten him.
Louise was actively creating right up to her death. Her last creations were completed a week prior to her death at 98 years of age. For the last two years of her life, friend and photographer Alex Van Gelder photographed Mrs Bourgeois. In one photo she is wearing a black mask and holding a knife. In another photo she is staring at her aged face in the mirror. She was still showing her work in Museums in 2000 and 2001 in her 80s. This artist has examined many controversial subjects, creating provocative art with a variety of art mediums. She was creating and pushing buttons until her last breath in 2010. A life well lived, a great example for women everywhere, especially those who say they are too old to start creating.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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