December 13th, 2016
Last week, I wrote about how shopping for loved ones puts me in the Christmas spirit. There was a snow day yesterday and we had a great time snuggling together, sipping soup and enjoying our day.
Today, I want to explore the flip side of this experience. There are many people who dread this season. Do you know someone who has lost a loved one? The first everything is very challenging. This season is full of traditions, routines and memories. When someone has passed on, it can change everything. Who will host Christmas dinner? Who will be invited? Who gets the decorations? It is normal to not want to decorate or celebrate without your loved one. It can be helpful to include them in the new traditions (e.g. leave a chair at the table for the loved one, have a photo displayed on the mantle, a new Christmas decoration for the tree or partaking in an activity that that person always enjoyed as a way of bringing them into the celebrations).
There are people for whom family reunions are painful. They may not feel emotionally or physically safe. What if your memories of Christmas with family include alcoholism, verbal and physical violence or sexual abuse? How can Christmas ever feel like a festive holiday season with such negative associations? Luckily, many individuals go on to have their own families and begin new traditions.
What about all the lonely people who feel excluded from the good cheer and gatherings? This can include newly divorced, recently immigrated, homeless, recovering addicts and alcoholics as well as a host of older adults in long term care facilities (just to name a few). When everything is closed for the holidays and you have no loved ones to celebrate with, this holiday season can feel quite lonely and depressing.
When I worked as a college professor, there were students excited to head home for the holiday, looking forward to good food and warm hugs. However, some students stayed behind. They spent the holidays on campus, in residence.
Hospitals and long term care facilities are the saddest places over the holidays. I remember carolling with staff and seeing residents cry or go in their bedrooms and close the door. It was just too sad. Again, a few would go home for the weekend with family but many were left behind. Some families dropped off gifts at the main desk but never went to visit their parent.
So, what can you do if you are alone or sad among a crowd of people during the holidays?
1-Write out the story that you are telling yourself about being alone over Christmas.
2-What are the beliefs supporting this story?
3-What would you tell someone else who was going through this experience?
4-How can you support yourself through this time?
5-Who could be your allies? Do you know anyone else who will be alone over the holidays or who is going through a similar situation? Collect like-minded people and make plans with them.
6-Create a list of what gives you pleasure and see how many of these activities you can fit into your holiday.
7-Be gentle and kind to yourself.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Showing posts with label self-care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-care. Show all posts
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Thursday, 8 December 2016
When Mama Needs a Break
December 8th, 2016
I have been reading, Leave Me, by Gayle Forman. This novel tells the story of a woman in her 40s who suffers a heart attack. She is in denial, pushing through her symptoms until her discomfort frightens her. Even after she is told that what she experienced is a heart attack, she refuses to believe it. It can’t be, she is too busy, can’t fit it into her schedule. This can’t be happening to her. This is all too common among women who put themselves last. They think they will go to the doctor’s when they have time but that time never comes.
She is sent home for some respite and finds that she is thrown back into the chaos of life with twin, over scheduled, school-aged children. She has always been the planner, the organizer, the responsible one. Her children, her husband and even her mother all depend on her for strength and leadership. When she realizes that her heart will never heal amidst the stress of her home life, she decides to run away.
I think we have all faced that desire to flee at some point in our journey as mothers. Most of the book describes the new life she develops in Pittsburg. I don’t read many novels but I truly enjoyed this one. As I interview moms for my own book, I hear many stories from overwhelmed moms who are struggling to balance their many responsibilities. Simply booking our interview appointments can be a challenge. I am only available on weekdays while my daughters are in school. I might insert a few interviews on Saturday when my mother comes to watch the children but I generally save that time for my girls. These moms may work during the day or only be available one day a week. Add to that the snow days, PD days, sick days (their children or mine) and you can see how this becomes a challenge.
On Monday, the school buses were not cancelled but I kept my daughters home. The roads did not look friendly to me. There were many accidents on the icy road. I felt grateful that I could be at home with my girls. Once upon a time when I worked as a college professor, I couldn’t have made that decision and, I would be on that icy road commuting to and from campus. I wasn’t able to blog on Monday. My daughters kept me busy.
On Tuesday, I was determined to get my post in before the end of the day. I went out for Christmas shopping with my husband in the morning. He had been shopping online as well. As we returned to the house, I sat at the computer and realized the battery was dead. I plugged it in and got more items off my to-do list. I checked on the computer and it still hadn’t charged. Apparently this is an issue with the latest MAC products. My husband needed the computer to confirm appointments. We checked different outlets and still couldn’t get it to charge. The girls would be home soon. I promised myself to post on the Wednesday, for sure. The computer was charging, finally so no problem.
On Wednesday, I checked that the computer was charged first thing in the morning. It was, oh joy! I took a shower and sat at the desk. My husband had reset the computer and downloaded upgrades in order to decrease the amount of time required to charge the battery. As a result, we had to log in to all our programs. He couldn’t check his order status on Amazon and I couldn’t blog because neither of us knew our passwords. When you go nearly a year of simply opening programs, you get out of the habit of typing your password. I knew I had written it down somewhere. If I could just remember where. Last night, I searched my phone and iPad’s notepads and I found it. So here I am, back on track.
What I’ve learned from other moms is how common it is for us to feel like failures because, even though we are constantly working on something, we don’t feel that we accomplish anything. We end up feeling like a mediocre mom, employee, wife, woman despite our best efforts to be the best mom, employee, wife and woman. There is comfort in the realization that we are not alone, that we are humans and were not designed to be everything to everyone.
If you are a frazzled mom, reading this and nodding knowingly, take a moment today to do something for yourself. Self-care is how you survive and no it’s not selfish, you can’t be your best when you’re running on empty. Here are some ideas based on my own preferences. If you don’t like my list, please create your own.
1-Stop in your favourite coffee shop and get your favourite treat (green tea latte, americano, peanut butter cookie etc).
2-Borrow a book from the library that you can read before bed or at lunch time. If you’re not sure what to read, ask about the library staff’s favourite picks.
3-Soak in a bubble bath with candles and music
4-Sort through your CDs and select a few favourites to listen to on your way to work or just driving around
5-Go for a walk, not to go anywhere in particular, just to get some fresh air, bring the dog if you have one
6-Call someone you’d like to connect with even if you only have ten minutes
7-Pick up a prepared meal instead of making one from scratch and use the extra time to relax or spend quality time with loved ones
8-Prepare a facial with whatever you have in the house (avocado, egg whites, honey, mayonnaise?)
9-Dance around the house to your favourite music
10-Rent a movie or find one on Netflix that all of you could watch together as a family
Enjoy!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 10 November 2016
Book of the Week, Meditation Within Eternity
November 10th, 2016
I generally read one book per week. However, for some time now, I have been reading a book by Eric Pepin, Meditation Within Eternity. I read it because I saw a review of this book on Facebook and it was described as holding the key to experiencing deeper meditations. I have been struggling to create a regular mediation practice. Like many other moms, I have a hard time finding some time to myself. I generally try to meditate right after the girls have gotten on the school bus or during my shower. At the end of the day, I am so tired that I fall asleep during the deep breathing exercises that precede the actual meditation. I thought this book might hold the key.
The book is really intense and I tried to stay focused but found my mind drifting. It's one of those deep books with profound concepts that take some time to wrap your mind around. Pepin explains that we often meditate in order to calm our bodies but that we shouldn't be focusing on our bodies because it holds us down in this realm. What we need to do is realize that we are energy and this body is simply a container that relays sensory information to us so we can experience life on earth. If we are trying to reach higher realms, we need to free ourselves from our bodies.
He introduces the reader to the concept of frequencies. Our non-physical, energy self is at a higher frequency. We need to practice meditation in order to access higher frequencies, it's a progressive process. Eric compares this to changing lanes on a highway and how we need to accelerate in order to get to the far lane. Our vibration needs to match higher realms in order for us to change lanes. We learned that our energy gets stored in objects and spaces like when you walk into a room and feel that someone just had a fight in there. We affect each other with this energy. One person smiles at you, changes your mood, you smile at the next person and the chain reaction goes on. Our emotions are reflected in our energy fields which far surpass our physical bodies. In this way, people can be drawn to us, repelled by us or even be changed by ur very presence. In order to transform negative energy trapped in a space or object, we can move objects around or think pleasant thoughts while being in the room or holding the object. We can also create a positive experience to replace the old associations.
We then learn to differentiate between the brain which is physical and the mind which is energy. When you control the brain, the part that distracts you during meditation, you will expand your mind, meaning your awareness and soul. We need to be removed from our busy, rushed world to make space for contemplation, to figure out who we are inside. As we learn to escape the confines of our body during meditation, we return to our state as energy. Our thoughts create our frequency. If we think negative thoughts, it becomes harder for us to achieve higher states.
The book teaches us to sit in half-lotus and focus on three of the chakras, touching each one with our fingers in order to stay rooted there. As we spend time on each chakra, exploring it, we help the energy flow throughout our bodies, aligning all the chakras. The third eye chakra helps us develop our psychic abilities, opening us up to the universe and different ways of knowing. I was very excited to learn these techniques but, at the end of the book, there is simply an invitation to visit the book's website to be guided through a meditation.
While the concepts in this book provide food for thought, it is advertised as a 'how-to' book, showing you how to meditate. This is false. There is a great deal of jargon and description of what will happen to you or what is available to you once you reach a higher level of meditation but there is very little information on how to get there. I was very disappointed in the book. I will practice what I learned on pages 114-117 and will visit the website to try the meditation but the amount of time I devoted to reading this book has not brought me closer to deeper meditation. This is a book about energy, a new way to see the universe, our relationship with God and our role in the grand scheme of things. Meditation is not the focus of this book. I shared the book with two other spiritual people for whom I have a great deal of respect. Neither of them could stick with the book. They had no interest in borrowing it when I was done. Eric is the founder of the Higher Balance Institute (www.higherbalance.com). You can also find his videos on You Tube.
I will work on creating the time and space I need to practice his process and I'll let you know how it turns out.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I generally read one book per week. However, for some time now, I have been reading a book by Eric Pepin, Meditation Within Eternity. I read it because I saw a review of this book on Facebook and it was described as holding the key to experiencing deeper meditations. I have been struggling to create a regular mediation practice. Like many other moms, I have a hard time finding some time to myself. I generally try to meditate right after the girls have gotten on the school bus or during my shower. At the end of the day, I am so tired that I fall asleep during the deep breathing exercises that precede the actual meditation. I thought this book might hold the key.
The book is really intense and I tried to stay focused but found my mind drifting. It's one of those deep books with profound concepts that take some time to wrap your mind around. Pepin explains that we often meditate in order to calm our bodies but that we shouldn't be focusing on our bodies because it holds us down in this realm. What we need to do is realize that we are energy and this body is simply a container that relays sensory information to us so we can experience life on earth. If we are trying to reach higher realms, we need to free ourselves from our bodies.
He introduces the reader to the concept of frequencies. Our non-physical, energy self is at a higher frequency. We need to practice meditation in order to access higher frequencies, it's a progressive process. Eric compares this to changing lanes on a highway and how we need to accelerate in order to get to the far lane. Our vibration needs to match higher realms in order for us to change lanes. We learned that our energy gets stored in objects and spaces like when you walk into a room and feel that someone just had a fight in there. We affect each other with this energy. One person smiles at you, changes your mood, you smile at the next person and the chain reaction goes on. Our emotions are reflected in our energy fields which far surpass our physical bodies. In this way, people can be drawn to us, repelled by us or even be changed by ur very presence. In order to transform negative energy trapped in a space or object, we can move objects around or think pleasant thoughts while being in the room or holding the object. We can also create a positive experience to replace the old associations.
We then learn to differentiate between the brain which is physical and the mind which is energy. When you control the brain, the part that distracts you during meditation, you will expand your mind, meaning your awareness and soul. We need to be removed from our busy, rushed world to make space for contemplation, to figure out who we are inside. As we learn to escape the confines of our body during meditation, we return to our state as energy. Our thoughts create our frequency. If we think negative thoughts, it becomes harder for us to achieve higher states.
The book teaches us to sit in half-lotus and focus on three of the chakras, touching each one with our fingers in order to stay rooted there. As we spend time on each chakra, exploring it, we help the energy flow throughout our bodies, aligning all the chakras. The third eye chakra helps us develop our psychic abilities, opening us up to the universe and different ways of knowing. I was very excited to learn these techniques but, at the end of the book, there is simply an invitation to visit the book's website to be guided through a meditation.
While the concepts in this book provide food for thought, it is advertised as a 'how-to' book, showing you how to meditate. This is false. There is a great deal of jargon and description of what will happen to you or what is available to you once you reach a higher level of meditation but there is very little information on how to get there. I was very disappointed in the book. I will practice what I learned on pages 114-117 and will visit the website to try the meditation but the amount of time I devoted to reading this book has not brought me closer to deeper meditation. This is a book about energy, a new way to see the universe, our relationship with God and our role in the grand scheme of things. Meditation is not the focus of this book. I shared the book with two other spiritual people for whom I have a great deal of respect. Neither of them could stick with the book. They had no interest in borrowing it when I was done. Eric is the founder of the Higher Balance Institute (www.higherbalance.com). You can also find his videos on You Tube.
I will work on creating the time and space I need to practice his process and I'll let you know how it turns out.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 11 July 2016
Pruning-A Life Strategy
July 11th, 2016
Today, I was tending the garden. I noticed that many of the flowers on our hanging plants were drying up from the intense sunlight. I started plucking the dried out flowers to make room for new growth. There are loads of buds ready to bloom. Our flowers will look amazing by the end of the week. I was never good with flowers in the past. I gave them too much water and never pruned them. I feared that I would remove too much and kill the plant. The earth would get mouldy and no new flowers would grow because the entire plant was packed with dead flowers. My husband showed me how to prune plants and flowers the first year we lived at this home. His grandmother had taught him the art of pruning in her rose garden in England.
As I pruned today, I thought about the parallels between my gardening style and my habits. I hang on to stuff way too long. I have a lot of clothing that I wore when I was a teenager. I no longer have the body of a teenager but I am attached to the clothing. Each dress has a story, a fun memory associated with it. I hold onto books and paperwork-scraps of paper with notes, insights from experiences or books and, awesome quotes.
I was thinking about the importance of pruning in life in general. At any given time, we can pretty much fill a few boxes with items we have outgrown or simply haven't used recently. Having a cluttered home feels heavy and drains our energy.
There are people in our lives who no longer belong there. You may need to let go of a spouse, a friend, a colleague or a relative. It can be painful to end a relationship even if it's long overdue. You are inflicting pain on another person and, a break-up entails conflict which can feel scary and uncomfortable. If that person is part of a group of friends, you may also fear the backlash from other members of that group as a result of your pruning.
I often meet people who need to change careers. They have been in the same job for ten years, they used to love it but they no longer care about it, they resent it and feel run down every day when they have to go to work.
Like me, you may need to prune your closet and keep only the clothing that still represents who you are then donate the rest.
Activities can also be pruned. Look at your schedule and put an "x" on all the items in your calendar that don't need to be there. We tend to fill our schedules and we rarely have time to assess these activities later on to see if they are still meaningful to us.
Life is meant to be savoured. How much of your life do you love? I remember when owning and pruning Bonzai trees were a trend. You had to know what to cut out and what to leave in. Our lives are like that. Sometimes we need to stop and examine our lives. We can prune away the items that are weighing us down and the people who are draining our energy. By paying attention to how much time we devote to activities we no longer enjoy compared to what lights us up, we can see what needs to go. Pruning our lives, like Bonzai trees, is an art. We need to know what fills us up and what empties us and act accordingly.
If you're curious, grab a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Write a heading for each column; Fills Me, Empties Me. Then, list all the people and activities that fit into each column. You may be surprised by how uneven your columns are or by who and what ends up where. Happy pruning!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today, I was tending the garden. I noticed that many of the flowers on our hanging plants were drying up from the intense sunlight. I started plucking the dried out flowers to make room for new growth. There are loads of buds ready to bloom. Our flowers will look amazing by the end of the week. I was never good with flowers in the past. I gave them too much water and never pruned them. I feared that I would remove too much and kill the plant. The earth would get mouldy and no new flowers would grow because the entire plant was packed with dead flowers. My husband showed me how to prune plants and flowers the first year we lived at this home. His grandmother had taught him the art of pruning in her rose garden in England.
As I pruned today, I thought about the parallels between my gardening style and my habits. I hang on to stuff way too long. I have a lot of clothing that I wore when I was a teenager. I no longer have the body of a teenager but I am attached to the clothing. Each dress has a story, a fun memory associated with it. I hold onto books and paperwork-scraps of paper with notes, insights from experiences or books and, awesome quotes.
I was thinking about the importance of pruning in life in general. At any given time, we can pretty much fill a few boxes with items we have outgrown or simply haven't used recently. Having a cluttered home feels heavy and drains our energy.
There are people in our lives who no longer belong there. You may need to let go of a spouse, a friend, a colleague or a relative. It can be painful to end a relationship even if it's long overdue. You are inflicting pain on another person and, a break-up entails conflict which can feel scary and uncomfortable. If that person is part of a group of friends, you may also fear the backlash from other members of that group as a result of your pruning.
I often meet people who need to change careers. They have been in the same job for ten years, they used to love it but they no longer care about it, they resent it and feel run down every day when they have to go to work.
Like me, you may need to prune your closet and keep only the clothing that still represents who you are then donate the rest.
Activities can also be pruned. Look at your schedule and put an "x" on all the items in your calendar that don't need to be there. We tend to fill our schedules and we rarely have time to assess these activities later on to see if they are still meaningful to us.
Life is meant to be savoured. How much of your life do you love? I remember when owning and pruning Bonzai trees were a trend. You had to know what to cut out and what to leave in. Our lives are like that. Sometimes we need to stop and examine our lives. We can prune away the items that are weighing us down and the people who are draining our energy. By paying attention to how much time we devote to activities we no longer enjoy compared to what lights us up, we can see what needs to go. Pruning our lives, like Bonzai trees, is an art. We need to know what fills us up and what empties us and act accordingly.
If you're curious, grab a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. Write a heading for each column; Fills Me, Empties Me. Then, list all the people and activities that fit into each column. You may be surprised by how uneven your columns are or by who and what ends up where. Happy pruning!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 27 May 2016
Hygiene
May 27th, 2016
This morning I had the same argument with my ten year old that we have been having for months now. She stood in the shower drawing on the glass door with her index finger. I asked her if she had started washing herself yet, she hadn't. Her seven year old sister waited patiently wearing her shower cap. My eldest informed me that she would not be washing herself.
Apparently, I am the only parent who requires that her children shower every day. My eldest assures me that her friends wash once a week. I said that was disgusting. My daughter responded that it was normal and I was unreasonable. Later, I spoke to some friends with children in grade 4. They are having similar battles with their sons and daughters. Grade 4 and 5 teachers are very familiar with the stink of a classroom filled with pre-pubescent children.
It's almost as if they are not aware of their smell yet. Their hormones are kicking in, armpits are sweaty, sneakers are smelly but the pre-teen remains unconcerned. Ironically, once my daughter starts liking boys, I won't be able to get her out of the shower but, for now, it is a battle.
We compared our approaches: "You stink, go wash yourself"! Or "As your mother, it's part of my responsibilities to ensure you wash yourself" or "Don't do it because you want to, do it for your friends who will be spending time with you" or "This is your body, you need to feed it, wash it, exercise it, it's part of self-care". None of us have been successful.
I spoke to my husband about it. His suggestion was: "Let her stink, her friends will tell her she smells and she'll start washing". I can remember my mother asking to speak to me before I went out to play with my friends. I was probably ten years old. She washed my pits and rubbed deodorant on them. I clearly recall how shocked I was. I didn't notice a smell, I thought I was fine. This seemed completely unnecessary. Now I am the Mom and I can't imagine my daughter can't smell her pits or feet.
This is just one more phase of her development to navigate. Speaking to other parents is helpful, it normalizes this experience. Remembering my own pre-teen years is reassuring. I have excellent hygiene now so I know she will be fine in a few years.
Hang in there parents of pre-teens, this too shall pass.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
This morning I had the same argument with my ten year old that we have been having for months now. She stood in the shower drawing on the glass door with her index finger. I asked her if she had started washing herself yet, she hadn't. Her seven year old sister waited patiently wearing her shower cap. My eldest informed me that she would not be washing herself.
Apparently, I am the only parent who requires that her children shower every day. My eldest assures me that her friends wash once a week. I said that was disgusting. My daughter responded that it was normal and I was unreasonable. Later, I spoke to some friends with children in grade 4. They are having similar battles with their sons and daughters. Grade 4 and 5 teachers are very familiar with the stink of a classroom filled with pre-pubescent children.
It's almost as if they are not aware of their smell yet. Their hormones are kicking in, armpits are sweaty, sneakers are smelly but the pre-teen remains unconcerned. Ironically, once my daughter starts liking boys, I won't be able to get her out of the shower but, for now, it is a battle.
We compared our approaches: "You stink, go wash yourself"! Or "As your mother, it's part of my responsibilities to ensure you wash yourself" or "Don't do it because you want to, do it for your friends who will be spending time with you" or "This is your body, you need to feed it, wash it, exercise it, it's part of self-care". None of us have been successful.
I spoke to my husband about it. His suggestion was: "Let her stink, her friends will tell her she smells and she'll start washing". I can remember my mother asking to speak to me before I went out to play with my friends. I was probably ten years old. She washed my pits and rubbed deodorant on them. I clearly recall how shocked I was. I didn't notice a smell, I thought I was fine. This seemed completely unnecessary. Now I am the Mom and I can't imagine my daughter can't smell her pits or feet.
This is just one more phase of her development to navigate. Speaking to other parents is helpful, it normalizes this experience. Remembering my own pre-teen years is reassuring. I have excellent hygiene now so I know she will be fine in a few years.
Hang in there parents of pre-teens, this too shall pass.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 17 May 2016
Quiet Time
May 17th, 2016
Yesterday was a great day! At approximately 2:45pm, a Fed Ex man came to my door and dropped off two boxes. The boxes were filled with my books, Have You Hugged Your Alien? and The Story of Poobum and Pompom. My first book was out last year and I used it for my workshops in elementary schools. I had sold out of the book. The second one had never been published and I was very excited to hold it in my hands.
As if things couldn't get better, my husband told me he was taking the girls to gymnastics so I would have 3 hours to myself! This is a rare thing. He took the girls to gymnastics last week but my eldest threw up as soon as they arrived so he didn't get to see them enjoy the class. This week, they stayed for the entire 2 hour class.
My mind raced with how to best use this precious time. I made myself a delicious salad and listened to more Hay House interviews. I journaled and created art about my vision for our future as a family while sipping a hot coffee. I took an epsom bath with lavender drops. I buffed away the dry skin from my heels and clipped my toe nails. I changed the payment information on my amazon.ca account so I could order two books I have been wanting. I created a yummy probiotic yogurt, granola and berries dessert and savoured each bite.
As you read this you probably think, BORING! The thing is, as hum drum as my evening may sound to you, I loved it. That is what is important. We all need some down time to recharge our batteries. What would fill you up is different from what works for me. It doesn't matter what others think.
By the time my husband returned with our two sleepy daughters, I was feeling calm and replenished. I had prepared the girls' bedrooms (humidifiers filled, stuffies ready for cuddles and diffusers spreading a warm scent throughout the room). I took some time to hear about their classes and give them a quick snack. I wasn't rushed or tired because I was able to look after my needs earlier that evening. Having some quiet time isn't just great for our mental health, it also makes us better moms and partners.
When was the last time you had quiet time? Start now by picking a day and time frame like Saturday morning from 10am-noon. Then brainstorm what would fill your batteries. You may want to walk through an art gallery (bring a sketch book, why not?). You may prefer to sit at a coffee shop and read a good book. No? What about a brisk walk with the dog on a nearby trail? Going to see a chick flick ?
Once you have found your bliss, let others know you will be unavailable at the set time and turn off your phone. If you hear a text, don't peek, actually it's better if you leave your phone in the car. Just enjoy your activity. Feel how special it is to have this time to spend by yourself. You will reach a point when you feel full. That is when you know you are replenished. You may want to share this experience with others, tell them what you did and how it felt. This is your signal that you are ready to head back to your loved ones, replenished and grateful for your respite. Try it, you'll like it.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Yesterday was a great day! At approximately 2:45pm, a Fed Ex man came to my door and dropped off two boxes. The boxes were filled with my books, Have You Hugged Your Alien? and The Story of Poobum and Pompom. My first book was out last year and I used it for my workshops in elementary schools. I had sold out of the book. The second one had never been published and I was very excited to hold it in my hands.
As if things couldn't get better, my husband told me he was taking the girls to gymnastics so I would have 3 hours to myself! This is a rare thing. He took the girls to gymnastics last week but my eldest threw up as soon as they arrived so he didn't get to see them enjoy the class. This week, they stayed for the entire 2 hour class.
My mind raced with how to best use this precious time. I made myself a delicious salad and listened to more Hay House interviews. I journaled and created art about my vision for our future as a family while sipping a hot coffee. I took an epsom bath with lavender drops. I buffed away the dry skin from my heels and clipped my toe nails. I changed the payment information on my amazon.ca account so I could order two books I have been wanting. I created a yummy probiotic yogurt, granola and berries dessert and savoured each bite.
As you read this you probably think, BORING! The thing is, as hum drum as my evening may sound to you, I loved it. That is what is important. We all need some down time to recharge our batteries. What would fill you up is different from what works for me. It doesn't matter what others think.
By the time my husband returned with our two sleepy daughters, I was feeling calm and replenished. I had prepared the girls' bedrooms (humidifiers filled, stuffies ready for cuddles and diffusers spreading a warm scent throughout the room). I took some time to hear about their classes and give them a quick snack. I wasn't rushed or tired because I was able to look after my needs earlier that evening. Having some quiet time isn't just great for our mental health, it also makes us better moms and partners.
When was the last time you had quiet time? Start now by picking a day and time frame like Saturday morning from 10am-noon. Then brainstorm what would fill your batteries. You may want to walk through an art gallery (bring a sketch book, why not?). You may prefer to sit at a coffee shop and read a good book. No? What about a brisk walk with the dog on a nearby trail? Going to see a chick flick ?
Once you have found your bliss, let others know you will be unavailable at the set time and turn off your phone. If you hear a text, don't peek, actually it's better if you leave your phone in the car. Just enjoy your activity. Feel how special it is to have this time to spend by yourself. You will reach a point when you feel full. That is when you know you are replenished. You may want to share this experience with others, tell them what you did and how it felt. This is your signal that you are ready to head back to your loved ones, replenished and grateful for your respite. Try it, you'll like it.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 16 May 2016
Broth Power!
May 16th, 2016
Last Friday, I met my mother in downtown Ottawa and got her signed up with Vrtucar. This means she can leave her home and visit us whenever she wants for as long as she wants. She can now be more independent. I felt so relieved.
Usually, I try to pack as much into Friday mornings as I can, knowing that it's my last day of productivity for the week before the children are home and I switch gears for the weekend. I am aware that I need to leave at around 1pm to pick up my mother so she can come and spend some time with her grandchildren.
My mother was raised in the country and felt very isolated during her teen years. She enjoys visiting our home but I can tell she is getting antsy by Saturday afternoon. She doesn't like to stay over more than one night which means I have to get her back to her home by late Saturday afternoon.
When the children were younger, I could get away with the 90 minute round trip because they always fell asleep. Now that they are older, they hate the drive into town. They always want to stop somewhere, like a toy store, to make the trip worthwhile. This is not an option because I have no intention to buy them toys every Saturday afternoon. So, there is usually some tension in our home as I coax the girls into the car for the round trip into town.
By the time I rushed home to get the children off the bus last Friday, I was feeling exhausted. I knew my body was fighting something off. I haven't been sleeping well due to a nasty cough I picked up when I was sick in April.
Luckily, I just happened to hear about the benefits of drinking broth from Heather Dane. She is one of the Hay House authors participating in the Hay House Summit. Apparently, drinking broth is "in" right now. I had never heard of this. My husband looked it up and there are restaurants devoted solely to broth in New York City. The idea is, you create a batch of broth and reheat it every day. You can bring some to work in a thermos to drink throughout the day (instead of coffee).
In the notes that were attached to her presentation, she outlines how to create three broths- a bone broth, a veggie broth and a meat broth. Heather explains that drinking bone broth can increase your collagen levels (think tighter skin) and seal your gut. Broths also help strengthen your joints, build muscle and lose weight.
Does this sound too complicated? If creating broths sounds like a chore, reminiscent of your grandma standing by a stove all day, you can relax, Heather makes it easy. You get a paper bag, open it and stick it in your freezer. As you cook throughout the week, you place bones, meat pieces and vegetable trimmings into this bag. Once the bag is full, you can empty the contents in a stock pot (or slow cooker), cover it with water, bring it to a boil and then let it simmer for a few hours.
I made my first batch of stock this weekend to mend my compromised immune system. I used a head of garlic, two leeks, carrots, cauliflower, kale, peppercorns, sea salt, turmeric, cilantro, thyme and bones from local, grassfed beef. I covered it with water, brought it to a boil then covered it and let it simmer for three hours. I went out for errands and returned to a home that smelled like grandma's house. I filled six mason jars and let them cool. Then I put them in the fridge.
This morning, my husband and I both sipped some broth. We skimmed off the layer of fat from the surface and re-heated it just warm enough to drink. I like that it feels like a warm cup of coffee but is actually really healing. I have a hard time drinking herbal teas because they are thin and watery. Texture is important to me. Broth has a creamy texture to it, similar to coffee, without the dairy. Drinking broth doesn't feel like a sacrifice.
I have been working on taking care of myself. That means making others responsible for themselves. When my children ask me for some juice and they left their container upstairs, they need to get their container for me so I can refill it. Now that my mother has a Vrtucar account, she can be responsible for her schedule and her trips to and from my home. When students contact me to come and work with me, I no longer rush in to create an exciting learning experience for them. I tell them about my next workshop and ask them to suggest an activity they could help lead. Taking the pressure off of myself allows me to focus my energy on my priorities. Taking care of my health is a priority. Making the time to create healthy, delicious, healing broths is just one more step in the right direction. I hope you will take some time to create broths as well. To your health!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Last Friday, I met my mother in downtown Ottawa and got her signed up with Vrtucar. This means she can leave her home and visit us whenever she wants for as long as she wants. She can now be more independent. I felt so relieved.
Usually, I try to pack as much into Friday mornings as I can, knowing that it's my last day of productivity for the week before the children are home and I switch gears for the weekend. I am aware that I need to leave at around 1pm to pick up my mother so she can come and spend some time with her grandchildren.
My mother was raised in the country and felt very isolated during her teen years. She enjoys visiting our home but I can tell she is getting antsy by Saturday afternoon. She doesn't like to stay over more than one night which means I have to get her back to her home by late Saturday afternoon.
When the children were younger, I could get away with the 90 minute round trip because they always fell asleep. Now that they are older, they hate the drive into town. They always want to stop somewhere, like a toy store, to make the trip worthwhile. This is not an option because I have no intention to buy them toys every Saturday afternoon. So, there is usually some tension in our home as I coax the girls into the car for the round trip into town.
By the time I rushed home to get the children off the bus last Friday, I was feeling exhausted. I knew my body was fighting something off. I haven't been sleeping well due to a nasty cough I picked up when I was sick in April.
Luckily, I just happened to hear about the benefits of drinking broth from Heather Dane. She is one of the Hay House authors participating in the Hay House Summit. Apparently, drinking broth is "in" right now. I had never heard of this. My husband looked it up and there are restaurants devoted solely to broth in New York City. The idea is, you create a batch of broth and reheat it every day. You can bring some to work in a thermos to drink throughout the day (instead of coffee).
In the notes that were attached to her presentation, she outlines how to create three broths- a bone broth, a veggie broth and a meat broth. Heather explains that drinking bone broth can increase your collagen levels (think tighter skin) and seal your gut. Broths also help strengthen your joints, build muscle and lose weight.
Does this sound too complicated? If creating broths sounds like a chore, reminiscent of your grandma standing by a stove all day, you can relax, Heather makes it easy. You get a paper bag, open it and stick it in your freezer. As you cook throughout the week, you place bones, meat pieces and vegetable trimmings into this bag. Once the bag is full, you can empty the contents in a stock pot (or slow cooker), cover it with water, bring it to a boil and then let it simmer for a few hours.
I made my first batch of stock this weekend to mend my compromised immune system. I used a head of garlic, two leeks, carrots, cauliflower, kale, peppercorns, sea salt, turmeric, cilantro, thyme and bones from local, grassfed beef. I covered it with water, brought it to a boil then covered it and let it simmer for three hours. I went out for errands and returned to a home that smelled like grandma's house. I filled six mason jars and let them cool. Then I put them in the fridge.
This morning, my husband and I both sipped some broth. We skimmed off the layer of fat from the surface and re-heated it just warm enough to drink. I like that it feels like a warm cup of coffee but is actually really healing. I have a hard time drinking herbal teas because they are thin and watery. Texture is important to me. Broth has a creamy texture to it, similar to coffee, without the dairy. Drinking broth doesn't feel like a sacrifice.
I have been working on taking care of myself. That means making others responsible for themselves. When my children ask me for some juice and they left their container upstairs, they need to get their container for me so I can refill it. Now that my mother has a Vrtucar account, she can be responsible for her schedule and her trips to and from my home. When students contact me to come and work with me, I no longer rush in to create an exciting learning experience for them. I tell them about my next workshop and ask them to suggest an activity they could help lead. Taking the pressure off of myself allows me to focus my energy on my priorities. Taking care of my health is a priority. Making the time to create healthy, delicious, healing broths is just one more step in the right direction. I hope you will take some time to create broths as well. To your health!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 11 March 2016
Fitness Epiphany
March 10h, 2016
Yesterday, I went to the gym and worked out. It felt great! I used to head out to the gym three times per week. I was starting to feel comfortable in that environment. I knew which machines to use and had my routine set out for me. Then we had three weeks in a row of 2 snow days.
I should point out that I love snow days. I enjoy the chill pace of my daughters playing in their undies. I hate packing their school lunches and arguing about whether or not they need to wear snowpants or their thick jacket. I love eating when we're hungry and balancing work and play. Hearing them run around and giggle as they dress up the animals or pretend their Monster High dolls are landing on Astro Nova's planet fills me with glee. When the weather cleared up and the girls were, grumpily, back at school, I was hit with a double-deadline, two projects due on the same day. I was too busy to work out. Ironically, I was very stressed so I needed to work out more than ever.
I bought a gym membership last fall because I felt out of shape. I'm not going to lie and say I don't care what size I am as long as I'm healthy. That's not exactly true. My body doesn't look too bad but my extra pounds are not evenly distributed. The fat is all on my bottom and my belly so it's like walking around with a floatie around my waist. I have had a few acquaintances ask me if Vin and I were expecting. That is a kick in the gut for sure. So, I was serious about working out and feeling fit when I purchased my membership. I have always been skinny. I was one of those people who could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound. So, being overweight doesn't feel right, it feels like I've borrowed someone's body.
I am pretty determined so, when I pick a goal, I go for it full force. I was progressing well for a few months then I weighed myself. My weight had not budged at all. I know most trainers tell you not to weigh yourself because muscle weighs more than fat so the numbers on the scale are not encouraging at first but, I was feeling good and I thought for sure I would see a difference. I felt really discouraged.
Lately, I have noticed a pattern. I saw it in other women first but I know it to be true for me as well. I have goals, activities I wish to pursue but, they have to fit around the activities of the people around me. I plan to head off to the gym once the girls are on the bus but my husband needs me to run an errand for him and then we have lunch and then I need to get groceries and then there are e-mails that require my attention and then, it's almost time for the girls to get home. I tell myself I will work out first thing the next day but, the same pattern repeats itself. My stuff gets moved to the bottom of the pile. It's no one else's fault, I am driving my bus. Why do I put myself last?
Not working out as I had planned brought this realization to my awareness. I see it in the lives of women around me and in my own life, not just around fitness but career, socializing, personal development and spiritual pursuits. This is part of self-care, engaging in meaningful activities and expecting loved ones to support you. The fact is, I want to feel and look fit, working out helps my body deal with stress and increases the likelihood that I will be around long enough to raise my daughters and retire with my husband. Fitness is a valid pursuit and I need to protect it.
I am grateful for the opportunity to observe this pattern in my life. My fitness goals are now part of a much larger self-care plan, one that includes the gym, a budget for healthy groceries, space to create and time for supportive friendships. To all my wonderful, strong, beautiful women friends, I encourage you to assess your own patterns. How much time is left in your day for the activities and people who matter to you?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Yesterday, I went to the gym and worked out. It felt great! I used to head out to the gym three times per week. I was starting to feel comfortable in that environment. I knew which machines to use and had my routine set out for me. Then we had three weeks in a row of 2 snow days.
I should point out that I love snow days. I enjoy the chill pace of my daughters playing in their undies. I hate packing their school lunches and arguing about whether or not they need to wear snowpants or their thick jacket. I love eating when we're hungry and balancing work and play. Hearing them run around and giggle as they dress up the animals or pretend their Monster High dolls are landing on Astro Nova's planet fills me with glee. When the weather cleared up and the girls were, grumpily, back at school, I was hit with a double-deadline, two projects due on the same day. I was too busy to work out. Ironically, I was very stressed so I needed to work out more than ever.
I bought a gym membership last fall because I felt out of shape. I'm not going to lie and say I don't care what size I am as long as I'm healthy. That's not exactly true. My body doesn't look too bad but my extra pounds are not evenly distributed. The fat is all on my bottom and my belly so it's like walking around with a floatie around my waist. I have had a few acquaintances ask me if Vin and I were expecting. That is a kick in the gut for sure. So, I was serious about working out and feeling fit when I purchased my membership. I have always been skinny. I was one of those people who could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound. So, being overweight doesn't feel right, it feels like I've borrowed someone's body.
I am pretty determined so, when I pick a goal, I go for it full force. I was progressing well for a few months then I weighed myself. My weight had not budged at all. I know most trainers tell you not to weigh yourself because muscle weighs more than fat so the numbers on the scale are not encouraging at first but, I was feeling good and I thought for sure I would see a difference. I felt really discouraged.
Lately, I have noticed a pattern. I saw it in other women first but I know it to be true for me as well. I have goals, activities I wish to pursue but, they have to fit around the activities of the people around me. I plan to head off to the gym once the girls are on the bus but my husband needs me to run an errand for him and then we have lunch and then I need to get groceries and then there are e-mails that require my attention and then, it's almost time for the girls to get home. I tell myself I will work out first thing the next day but, the same pattern repeats itself. My stuff gets moved to the bottom of the pile. It's no one else's fault, I am driving my bus. Why do I put myself last?
Not working out as I had planned brought this realization to my awareness. I see it in the lives of women around me and in my own life, not just around fitness but career, socializing, personal development and spiritual pursuits. This is part of self-care, engaging in meaningful activities and expecting loved ones to support you. The fact is, I want to feel and look fit, working out helps my body deal with stress and increases the likelihood that I will be around long enough to raise my daughters and retire with my husband. Fitness is a valid pursuit and I need to protect it.
I am grateful for the opportunity to observe this pattern in my life. My fitness goals are now part of a much larger self-care plan, one that includes the gym, a budget for healthy groceries, space to create and time for supportive friendships. To all my wonderful, strong, beautiful women friends, I encourage you to assess your own patterns. How much time is left in your day for the activities and people who matter to you?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 8 March 2016
Book of the Week-Happiness The Mindful Way: a practical guide by Ken A. Verni
March 5th, 2016
My husband gave me a gift card for Indigo books on Valentine's Day. I really want to be a more focused, grounded, mindful person so when I visited the Indigo store in Barrhaven, I was searching for a book on mindfulness. Some of you may be thinking, you don't need a book about mindfulness, just sit down, be quiet and listen to your breath. This is true but my brain is more receptive to information presented in books. I absorb the information and then I am able to apply it. So, I got a book.
Happiness the Mindful Way is a very thorough book. I chose it because, when I looked at the Table of Contents, I knew I would learn something new.
The book teaches the basics of mindfulness. You learn to switch from doing (which we do most of the time in our race to get everything crossed off our "to-do" lists) to being (as in present in this moment). Ken Verni talks about the importance of acknowledging our thoughts then learning to sweep them away with an imaginary broom. For children, he suggests imagining that they are cats watching a mouse hole, each thought that pops up is a mouse and must be swatted. I like that metaphor.
Next, he turns to emotions and explains that we can notice the emotion and allow it to pass through us without identifying with it. We accept it with compassion. He provides a variety of ways to deal with stress, recognizing triggers and patterns. He also examines our concept of happiness and warns us that we often define our happiness as achieving some fantasy that we project into the future. This prevents us from recognizing happiness in our current life.
Then we learned a variety of mindfulness meditation techniques from focusing on the breath, concentrating on an object, noticing sensations with our five senses, scanning our body, walking meditation, becoming a sturdy mountain and, my new favorite, loving kindness meditation.
I just had a very busy week, preparing for a workshop with 25 teenagers while translation a newsletter for the Canadian Art Therapy Association. I was having issues with technology. You may notice typos as I have been unable to switch my computer back to English. I was very stressed. I tried getting five minutes of mindful breathing into the start of my day and focusing on gratitude through my Gratitude Jar which I started in January. However, the most helpful thing I did was try Loving Kindness meditation.
You start by sitting comfortably and focusing on your breath then you think to yourself: "May I experience loving kindness for myself. May I enjoy happiness, health and peace". That's it, you just sit with these two sentences in your mind and breathe. I felt so much more positive and at peace. The goal is to then entend this wish to others starting with people you love the most, then acquaintances and finally, people you do not like. I used it when my husband was behaving in a way I did not understand. I sent him love and my feelings eased up. Can you imagine how much better our world would be (or, on a smaller scale, our community) if everyone practised this meditation on a daily basis?
Here are the most helpful tips I learned from this book:
You can be mindful anywhere (sitting in a chair, taking your shower, driving somewhere)
Intruding thoughts and strong emotions should not be repressed, embrace them and let them go
Send love to yourself as often as you can, it makes you a better person, more compassionate
Send love to others, including people you don't like, it releases you from the energy that bonds you to them.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul@ripnet.com
My husband gave me a gift card for Indigo books on Valentine's Day. I really want to be a more focused, grounded, mindful person so when I visited the Indigo store in Barrhaven, I was searching for a book on mindfulness. Some of you may be thinking, you don't need a book about mindfulness, just sit down, be quiet and listen to your breath. This is true but my brain is more receptive to information presented in books. I absorb the information and then I am able to apply it. So, I got a book.
Happiness the Mindful Way is a very thorough book. I chose it because, when I looked at the Table of Contents, I knew I would learn something new.
The book teaches the basics of mindfulness. You learn to switch from doing (which we do most of the time in our race to get everything crossed off our "to-do" lists) to being (as in present in this moment). Ken Verni talks about the importance of acknowledging our thoughts then learning to sweep them away with an imaginary broom. For children, he suggests imagining that they are cats watching a mouse hole, each thought that pops up is a mouse and must be swatted. I like that metaphor.
Next, he turns to emotions and explains that we can notice the emotion and allow it to pass through us without identifying with it. We accept it with compassion. He provides a variety of ways to deal with stress, recognizing triggers and patterns. He also examines our concept of happiness and warns us that we often define our happiness as achieving some fantasy that we project into the future. This prevents us from recognizing happiness in our current life.
Then we learned a variety of mindfulness meditation techniques from focusing on the breath, concentrating on an object, noticing sensations with our five senses, scanning our body, walking meditation, becoming a sturdy mountain and, my new favorite, loving kindness meditation.
I just had a very busy week, preparing for a workshop with 25 teenagers while translation a newsletter for the Canadian Art Therapy Association. I was having issues with technology. You may notice typos as I have been unable to switch my computer back to English. I was very stressed. I tried getting five minutes of mindful breathing into the start of my day and focusing on gratitude through my Gratitude Jar which I started in January. However, the most helpful thing I did was try Loving Kindness meditation.
You start by sitting comfortably and focusing on your breath then you think to yourself: "May I experience loving kindness for myself. May I enjoy happiness, health and peace". That's it, you just sit with these two sentences in your mind and breathe. I felt so much more positive and at peace. The goal is to then entend this wish to others starting with people you love the most, then acquaintances and finally, people you do not like. I used it when my husband was behaving in a way I did not understand. I sent him love and my feelings eased up. Can you imagine how much better our world would be (or, on a smaller scale, our community) if everyone practised this meditation on a daily basis?
Here are the most helpful tips I learned from this book:
You can be mindful anywhere (sitting in a chair, taking your shower, driving somewhere)
Intruding thoughts and strong emotions should not be repressed, embrace them and let them go
Send love to yourself as often as you can, it makes you a better person, more compassionate
Send love to others, including people you don't like, it releases you from the energy that bonds you to them.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul@ripnet.com
Saturday, 27 February 2016
Adrenal Fatigue
February 26th, 2016
Stop for a moment and think about the people in your life: your partner, siblings, friends and colleagues. How many of them have endless energy and a zest for life? Our lives are fast-paced, hectic and packed with responsibilities. The advent of technology was meant to simplify things for us yet we try to perform as if we, ourselves, were machines.
As a mother, spouse, art therapist, and middle-aged woman, I find that I often run out of steam. As I talk to other parents, I see that I am not alone. Parenthood seems to be synonymous with exhaustion. When my daughters were younger, I would meet my "mommy friends" for coffee. We drank excessive amounts of caffeine to keep us going. We talked about our sleep deprivation, the endless, thankless chores of laundry and cooking, the pros and cons of breastfeeding, the challenge of balancing our career and parental duties, our lack of support and energy.
It never occurred to me that motherhood and exhaustion did not go hand in hand. It was so common that it didn't seem abnormal. Women are not the best at self-care. We make nutritious meals for our family and eat the leftovers while standing at the kitchen counter. We stay up late folding laundry while our loved ones sleep only to be woken up way too early by the pitter patter of little feet.
"Of course I'm drained, aren't you?" we ask.
It's the same for men working 8-10 hours each day, coming home to play with the children while their wife prepares supper, running errands and performing maintenance duties on the weekends. Caregivers looking after a loved one with special needs or a chronic illness can also relate. Ditto for the "Sandwich Generation", supporting adult children while caring for aging parents. There are so many examples of people getting worn out by spreading themselves too thin.
Obviously, getting rest and achieving better balance between work and play are ideal solutions to this issue but there are times when you need more support. I recently learned about a condition that I believe goes undetected way too often. Adrenal Fatigue is what happens when you are under stress for prolonged periods of time. Our body is equipped with an emergency system. When we are stressed, we release cortisol and choose between "fight or flight". This process is instrumental to our survival during emergency situations. However, when we constantly trigger this system in response to everyday stress, our adrenal glands become depleted. Adrenal Fatigue is characterized by fatigue that doesn't get better with sleep, becoming overly dependent on caffeine or energy drinks to keep going, retaining body fat (especially on the tummy), craving sweets or carbohydrates and, feeling overwhelmed. Sound like anyone you know?
I am not a physician or even a nurse but I am writing about this because I had never heard of adrenal fatigue. As I read the symptoms I recognized so many people. I know individuals who eat well, try to get their sleep, are working on creating more balance in their life yet they still can't stop feeling tired and overwhelmed. What if supporting their adrenal glands could help them restore their energy and feel like themselves again?
Testing for adrenal fatigue is simple enough. You can test your levels through blood or saliva tests. Treatment involves an adrenal support supplement or acupuncture. The goal of treatment is to restore the healthy function of your adrenal glands. If you think you might be experiencing adrenal fatigue, speak to your family physician or naturopathic doctor. With so much to gain, what have you got to lose?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Stop for a moment and think about the people in your life: your partner, siblings, friends and colleagues. How many of them have endless energy and a zest for life? Our lives are fast-paced, hectic and packed with responsibilities. The advent of technology was meant to simplify things for us yet we try to perform as if we, ourselves, were machines.
As a mother, spouse, art therapist, and middle-aged woman, I find that I often run out of steam. As I talk to other parents, I see that I am not alone. Parenthood seems to be synonymous with exhaustion. When my daughters were younger, I would meet my "mommy friends" for coffee. We drank excessive amounts of caffeine to keep us going. We talked about our sleep deprivation, the endless, thankless chores of laundry and cooking, the pros and cons of breastfeeding, the challenge of balancing our career and parental duties, our lack of support and energy.
It never occurred to me that motherhood and exhaustion did not go hand in hand. It was so common that it didn't seem abnormal. Women are not the best at self-care. We make nutritious meals for our family and eat the leftovers while standing at the kitchen counter. We stay up late folding laundry while our loved ones sleep only to be woken up way too early by the pitter patter of little feet.
"Of course I'm drained, aren't you?" we ask.
It's the same for men working 8-10 hours each day, coming home to play with the children while their wife prepares supper, running errands and performing maintenance duties on the weekends. Caregivers looking after a loved one with special needs or a chronic illness can also relate. Ditto for the "Sandwich Generation", supporting adult children while caring for aging parents. There are so many examples of people getting worn out by spreading themselves too thin.
Obviously, getting rest and achieving better balance between work and play are ideal solutions to this issue but there are times when you need more support. I recently learned about a condition that I believe goes undetected way too often. Adrenal Fatigue is what happens when you are under stress for prolonged periods of time. Our body is equipped with an emergency system. When we are stressed, we release cortisol and choose between "fight or flight". This process is instrumental to our survival during emergency situations. However, when we constantly trigger this system in response to everyday stress, our adrenal glands become depleted. Adrenal Fatigue is characterized by fatigue that doesn't get better with sleep, becoming overly dependent on caffeine or energy drinks to keep going, retaining body fat (especially on the tummy), craving sweets or carbohydrates and, feeling overwhelmed. Sound like anyone you know?
I am not a physician or even a nurse but I am writing about this because I had never heard of adrenal fatigue. As I read the symptoms I recognized so many people. I know individuals who eat well, try to get their sleep, are working on creating more balance in their life yet they still can't stop feeling tired and overwhelmed. What if supporting their adrenal glands could help them restore their energy and feel like themselves again?
Testing for adrenal fatigue is simple enough. You can test your levels through blood or saliva tests. Treatment involves an adrenal support supplement or acupuncture. The goal of treatment is to restore the healthy function of your adrenal glands. If you think you might be experiencing adrenal fatigue, speak to your family physician or naturopathic doctor. With so much to gain, what have you got to lose?
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Sunday, 7 February 2016
Self-Care and Asking WHY
February 7th, 2016
I was feeling stuck today. I want to stick to my decision to write every day but I couldn't pick a topic. I decided to write about self-care because it is so important for women to learn to care as much about themselves as they do about others. It is also important for loved ones to see that we value ourselves. It's a reminder to your children that your life is more than just motherhood. It communicates to your partner that you expect to be treated with respect. It lets your boss know that your weekends are off-limits, that you have a life outside of working hours.
I was doing a search last week and I stumbled onto a video by a guy named Simon Sinek. He writes and speaks about leadership. His premise is that companies who don't strive, focus on what they are offering. Companies who succeed communicate why they exist. Between the "what" and the "why" is the "how". This is understanding how you achieve what you set out to do.
These two topics may not seem related but they are. Self-care is not about being selfish. Most of us emulate our earliest role models, women who served others first and put their needs last. Women who felt it was selfish to do something for ourselves. However, it is not selfish at all. If all you do is give to others, you will become depleted and resentful. At that point you won't have the energy to take care of yourself let alone your loved ones. If you had performed some self-care maintenance along the way, your tank would still be full and you would still be going strong.
Here is where the why comes into the equation. For the most part, our lives are out of balance. We act like we are computers. We try to get more done, faster with less breaks. We run around drinking more coffee to keep up the pace. Our schedules are full, the pace is quick and there is no time to waste. Our to-do list are the whats of our life. What do I have to do today? We often don't know how we will get it all done. However, we leave out the why. Just like a successful business starts with why, I feel that a balanced life involves taking a good look at our life and asking why we are doing what we are doing.
Let's begin:
Career
If you are currently employed, why do you work where you work? Be honest with yourself. Is this where you want to work or is it what others expect of you? If you are the busiest person at the office, why is that? Is it because you genuinely love your work and feel energized when you take on new projects or responsibilities? Or, is it because you don't have a life? Or, is it because you desperately want the approval of your boss and/or colleagues? If you find that you do not belong in this line of work and being there is making you sick, ask yourself what you might do instead. Why not try to get work that you love? Take a step each day in the direction of satisfying employment. Do an internet search, spruce up your resume, call a company, drop off or e-mail your resume, speak to others in the field etc...
Loved Ones
List all of the things you do with and for your loved ones. Why do you do these things? Divide them into two sections: things I enjoy and, things I do because I think I should. Keep doing what you enjoy and then examine your second list closely. Why do you do them? Are you trying to live up to an expectation? Is this something you have imposed upon yourself? Do you need to feel busy and important? See if you can delegate or divide some of the tasks you don't enjoy or value anymore. This will give you more time to do what you love.
Why Self-Care?
Now, take a piece of paper and divide it into two sections. On one side, write what happens when you don't make time for activities that energize you. On the other side, write all the activities you enjoy. Consider the cost to you and your loved ones if you don't learn to make self-care a part of your routine. Then browse through your list of activities you enjoy. Notice how much these activities cost. Chances are, they are pretty cheap. Most of the time, the women I work with just want to read a book, go for a walk in nature, have a warm bath, paint their nails, have coffee with a friend, create art or listen to music. These are not unrealistic, extravagant requests. The question then becomes "why not?". If enjoying simple acts of self-care make you a healthier person, a better partner, a happier mom and a more efficient employee, why wouldn't you indulge yourself on a regular basis?
If you want to take this one step further, create a collage of everything that makes you happy, energizes and, nourishes you. Flip through magazines or print images from an online source. Then assemble and organize these images on a big piece of craft paper (I like 18"x 24" as it's big enough to fit a variety of ideas but not so big that it is overwhelming). You can add a title, write affirmations or intentions on the paper and place it somewhere visible as a reminder to take some time for yourself.
www.artnsoul.org
I was feeling stuck today. I want to stick to my decision to write every day but I couldn't pick a topic. I decided to write about self-care because it is so important for women to learn to care as much about themselves as they do about others. It is also important for loved ones to see that we value ourselves. It's a reminder to your children that your life is more than just motherhood. It communicates to your partner that you expect to be treated with respect. It lets your boss know that your weekends are off-limits, that you have a life outside of working hours.
I was doing a search last week and I stumbled onto a video by a guy named Simon Sinek. He writes and speaks about leadership. His premise is that companies who don't strive, focus on what they are offering. Companies who succeed communicate why they exist. Between the "what" and the "why" is the "how". This is understanding how you achieve what you set out to do.
These two topics may not seem related but they are. Self-care is not about being selfish. Most of us emulate our earliest role models, women who served others first and put their needs last. Women who felt it was selfish to do something for ourselves. However, it is not selfish at all. If all you do is give to others, you will become depleted and resentful. At that point you won't have the energy to take care of yourself let alone your loved ones. If you had performed some self-care maintenance along the way, your tank would still be full and you would still be going strong.
Here is where the why comes into the equation. For the most part, our lives are out of balance. We act like we are computers. We try to get more done, faster with less breaks. We run around drinking more coffee to keep up the pace. Our schedules are full, the pace is quick and there is no time to waste. Our to-do list are the whats of our life. What do I have to do today? We often don't know how we will get it all done. However, we leave out the why. Just like a successful business starts with why, I feel that a balanced life involves taking a good look at our life and asking why we are doing what we are doing.
Let's begin:
Career
If you are currently employed, why do you work where you work? Be honest with yourself. Is this where you want to work or is it what others expect of you? If you are the busiest person at the office, why is that? Is it because you genuinely love your work and feel energized when you take on new projects or responsibilities? Or, is it because you don't have a life? Or, is it because you desperately want the approval of your boss and/or colleagues? If you find that you do not belong in this line of work and being there is making you sick, ask yourself what you might do instead. Why not try to get work that you love? Take a step each day in the direction of satisfying employment. Do an internet search, spruce up your resume, call a company, drop off or e-mail your resume, speak to others in the field etc...
Loved Ones
List all of the things you do with and for your loved ones. Why do you do these things? Divide them into two sections: things I enjoy and, things I do because I think I should. Keep doing what you enjoy and then examine your second list closely. Why do you do them? Are you trying to live up to an expectation? Is this something you have imposed upon yourself? Do you need to feel busy and important? See if you can delegate or divide some of the tasks you don't enjoy or value anymore. This will give you more time to do what you love.
Why Self-Care?
Now, take a piece of paper and divide it into two sections. On one side, write what happens when you don't make time for activities that energize you. On the other side, write all the activities you enjoy. Consider the cost to you and your loved ones if you don't learn to make self-care a part of your routine. Then browse through your list of activities you enjoy. Notice how much these activities cost. Chances are, they are pretty cheap. Most of the time, the women I work with just want to read a book, go for a walk in nature, have a warm bath, paint their nails, have coffee with a friend, create art or listen to music. These are not unrealistic, extravagant requests. The question then becomes "why not?". If enjoying simple acts of self-care make you a healthier person, a better partner, a happier mom and a more efficient employee, why wouldn't you indulge yourself on a regular basis?
If you want to take this one step further, create a collage of everything that makes you happy, energizes and, nourishes you. Flip through magazines or print images from an online source. Then assemble and organize these images on a big piece of craft paper (I like 18"x 24" as it's big enough to fit a variety of ideas but not so big that it is overwhelming). You can add a title, write affirmations or intentions on the paper and place it somewhere visible as a reminder to take some time for yourself.
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 13 January 2016
Fitness-Bikram to Yin
January 13th, 2016
When I first met my husband, he exposed me to Bikram Yoga. It is a yoga class composed of 26 postures, each done twice, in a VERY hot room. The postures basically stretch and twist your body, massaging your internal organs and removing toxins from your body. You will sweat no matter what. You must bring a mat, a towel and a tall bottle of water. Some people come prepared with a face cloth to wipe the sweat dripping off their nose or chin. I always felt energized after a class but my husband felt drained and had a headache. He went because it helped clear his mind and, later in the day, he would get a boost of energy. We eventually got into a routine of going to yoga three times per week. It was challenging as the Bikram poses test your flexibility, your balance and, your endurance.
Rama Lotus has been the most consistent provider of Bikram classes. Over the years, a few Bikram Ottawa studios opened up. They only offered Bikram. One was on Bank street, the second was on Sparks Street. They never last which is sad. The franchise and training costs of Bikram are staggering and I am sure the hydro bills must be high given the heat of the room which must be maintained. Some yoga studios offer hot yoga but there is no progression through the 26 postures. There is something about the order in which those specific postures are done that is quite addictive.
When Vincent and I moved to Stittsville, getting to a Bikram class got way more complicated: the distance, the schedule, parking, traffic etc so we settled for a weekly class on Sundays. Once I got pregnant, I stopped going to the classes. After we moved to Kemptville, it was mostly Vincent going to an early Sunday class after he'd dropped off my mom at her apartment in downtown Ottawa.
I was eager to get back to Bikram and, when I returned to my job at the college, I tried to squeeze in a class after work. I sat in the hot room, on my towel and mat, excited to be back. I was completely unprepared for what happened next. As we were lead through the postures, dripping with sweat, straining, holding, balancing, pushing, I realized this style of yoga no longer suited me. How could this be?
One day, I was taking Fallowfield instead of Hunt Club to get onto the 416 on my way home. I noticed a yoga studio, Mountaingoat Yoga. It was close to work which was convenient. I checked out their website and decided to try a Yin Yoga class. It is the opposite of Bikram which is a Yang yoga. I loved the gentle approach. It focused on paying attention to your body and letting go into the postures. You are not pushing your body, you are settling into it, inhabiting it, communicating with it. Again, I felt energized as I left, oddly optimistic. The instructor, Julie, was amazing. She reminded me of my favorite Bikram yoga teacher, Luc.
Both Luc and Julie were happy to be there, they were down-to-earth, authentic and had a great sense of humor. They communicated with the group throughout the class and made it fun and intimate. I wondered why I was responding so differently to Bikram, craving a gentler approach. I have always enjoyed pushing my limits. The answer came to me over time.
When I was a young woman, it was fun to test my body. After two childbirths, years of sleep deprivation and breastfeeding, I knew what my body was capable of, I had a great deal of respect and admiration for my body. I felt grateful to my elders for their great genes. I guess, what I wanted was some self-care. I felt like thanking my body and being gentle with it. Yoga became an act of self-care and Yin was the best approach for me in the headspace that I was in at that time.
There are so many approaches to yoga, each has its own merits and suits different people or, as in my case, the same person at different times in her life. I encourage everyone to try yoga. There is a class out there that is perfect for you.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
When I first met my husband, he exposed me to Bikram Yoga. It is a yoga class composed of 26 postures, each done twice, in a VERY hot room. The postures basically stretch and twist your body, massaging your internal organs and removing toxins from your body. You will sweat no matter what. You must bring a mat, a towel and a tall bottle of water. Some people come prepared with a face cloth to wipe the sweat dripping off their nose or chin. I always felt energized after a class but my husband felt drained and had a headache. He went because it helped clear his mind and, later in the day, he would get a boost of energy. We eventually got into a routine of going to yoga three times per week. It was challenging as the Bikram poses test your flexibility, your balance and, your endurance.
Rama Lotus has been the most consistent provider of Bikram classes. Over the years, a few Bikram Ottawa studios opened up. They only offered Bikram. One was on Bank street, the second was on Sparks Street. They never last which is sad. The franchise and training costs of Bikram are staggering and I am sure the hydro bills must be high given the heat of the room which must be maintained. Some yoga studios offer hot yoga but there is no progression through the 26 postures. There is something about the order in which those specific postures are done that is quite addictive.
When Vincent and I moved to Stittsville, getting to a Bikram class got way more complicated: the distance, the schedule, parking, traffic etc so we settled for a weekly class on Sundays. Once I got pregnant, I stopped going to the classes. After we moved to Kemptville, it was mostly Vincent going to an early Sunday class after he'd dropped off my mom at her apartment in downtown Ottawa.
I was eager to get back to Bikram and, when I returned to my job at the college, I tried to squeeze in a class after work. I sat in the hot room, on my towel and mat, excited to be back. I was completely unprepared for what happened next. As we were lead through the postures, dripping with sweat, straining, holding, balancing, pushing, I realized this style of yoga no longer suited me. How could this be?
One day, I was taking Fallowfield instead of Hunt Club to get onto the 416 on my way home. I noticed a yoga studio, Mountaingoat Yoga. It was close to work which was convenient. I checked out their website and decided to try a Yin Yoga class. It is the opposite of Bikram which is a Yang yoga. I loved the gentle approach. It focused on paying attention to your body and letting go into the postures. You are not pushing your body, you are settling into it, inhabiting it, communicating with it. Again, I felt energized as I left, oddly optimistic. The instructor, Julie, was amazing. She reminded me of my favorite Bikram yoga teacher, Luc.
Both Luc and Julie were happy to be there, they were down-to-earth, authentic and had a great sense of humor. They communicated with the group throughout the class and made it fun and intimate. I wondered why I was responding so differently to Bikram, craving a gentler approach. I have always enjoyed pushing my limits. The answer came to me over time.
When I was a young woman, it was fun to test my body. After two childbirths, years of sleep deprivation and breastfeeding, I knew what my body was capable of, I had a great deal of respect and admiration for my body. I felt grateful to my elders for their great genes. I guess, what I wanted was some self-care. I felt like thanking my body and being gentle with it. Yoga became an act of self-care and Yin was the best approach for me in the headspace that I was in at that time.
There are so many approaches to yoga, each has its own merits and suits different people or, as in my case, the same person at different times in her life. I encourage everyone to try yoga. There is a class out there that is perfect for you.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Sunday, 3 January 2016
Creative Journaling
January 3rd, 2016
Writing is so therapeutic. You don't need to be an artist to get creative. I write in my journal every day, it is my preferred method of self-care. I get my journals from The Dollar Store, cheap as chips. Every day, I start with the date and time then write whatever comes to mind. I add a list of ten things I am grateful for and why before I close my journal and start my day. Don't know how to get started? Here are some tips:
1-Get a cheap journal from the dollare store and, if you can afford it, buy yourself a special pen.
2-Find your best time of the day. Some of us get up and our minds are buzzing with creative ideas. For others, the best time is at night once everyone else is in bed. Go with your preference.
3-Pick a spot. Is there a cozy chair, a private walk-in closet or a particularly sunny room where you can sit and write undisturbed?
4- Set up a ritual. Just like remembering to take your meds (if you do, in fact, take meds), it is easier to stay with your writing if you have a specific ritual. I read while I'm on my treadmill, I pick out my clothing, grab my journal and head for the shower room. I lock the door and sit on a shaggy carpet next to the tub we never use. That is where I journal. I get in the shower and the ideas play around in my head, leading to insight, as I wash.
5-Don't worry about content, length, quality, grammar. This is for your eyes only. Just start and see where it takes you.
6-If you are struggling with what to write about, draw a circle, divide it into sections like slices of a pie. List the different categories of your life, one topic per slice. Examples might be health, family, career, friends, personal growth, spirituality etc... Write a goal for each section. What would be your ideal for that category? Then, each day, you can write about one of the categories, describing what you or your life would be like if you achieved your goal and what steps you can take to get there.
You can also write about your feelings. If you are happy, writing can help you savor this moment and return to read about it when life gets more challenging. If you are sad, expressing how you feel and why can help you gain insight into other factors that are contributing to your mood that may have otherwise gone unnoticed. If you are angry, venting can help you calm down and formulate your thoughts in order to communicate more effectively with loved ones.
Gratitude is another trendy topic. I recently saw a post on Facebook where someone created a mandala by writing everything s/he was grateful for in a circular fashion, like a spiral. It was uplifting and beautiful.
If you have observed a disturbing pattern in your behavior, create a comic strip in your journal. Trace out eight squares. Think about the pattern in a step by step fashion. What is happening before the pattern is triggered? How do you behave when you are triggered? What are the consequences of this behavior? How do you respond to these consequences? You can draw or describe each step in the squares. Once the pattern is visually displayed, think about what would happen if you moved the steps around or if you reacted in an opposite way or removed a step altogether. This exercise sounds simple but it can be enlightening.
If you are more visual, you can create a visual journal. Draw in your journal, create a collage with words or images cut out of magazines or newspapers. I recommend glue sticks rather than white glue because a glue stick won't make the pages wet, sticky and lumpy and, it dries faster. You can also incorporate pieces of fabric in your art. One technique I learned at an art therapy conference uses colorful, patterned napkins. Let's say there is a scene of a table in a beautiful garden. You cut out the image you like and place it in your journal. You then brush some diluted white glue over the image to fasten it to the page. You will need to keep your journal open until it's dry but you can create some really impressive scenes this way.
I hope this post has inspired you to try journaling. Happy writing!
Anne
Writing is so therapeutic. You don't need to be an artist to get creative. I write in my journal every day, it is my preferred method of self-care. I get my journals from The Dollar Store, cheap as chips. Every day, I start with the date and time then write whatever comes to mind. I add a list of ten things I am grateful for and why before I close my journal and start my day. Don't know how to get started? Here are some tips:
1-Get a cheap journal from the dollare store and, if you can afford it, buy yourself a special pen.
2-Find your best time of the day. Some of us get up and our minds are buzzing with creative ideas. For others, the best time is at night once everyone else is in bed. Go with your preference.
3-Pick a spot. Is there a cozy chair, a private walk-in closet or a particularly sunny room where you can sit and write undisturbed?
4- Set up a ritual. Just like remembering to take your meds (if you do, in fact, take meds), it is easier to stay with your writing if you have a specific ritual. I read while I'm on my treadmill, I pick out my clothing, grab my journal and head for the shower room. I lock the door and sit on a shaggy carpet next to the tub we never use. That is where I journal. I get in the shower and the ideas play around in my head, leading to insight, as I wash.
5-Don't worry about content, length, quality, grammar. This is for your eyes only. Just start and see where it takes you.
6-If you are struggling with what to write about, draw a circle, divide it into sections like slices of a pie. List the different categories of your life, one topic per slice. Examples might be health, family, career, friends, personal growth, spirituality etc... Write a goal for each section. What would be your ideal for that category? Then, each day, you can write about one of the categories, describing what you or your life would be like if you achieved your goal and what steps you can take to get there.
You can also write about your feelings. If you are happy, writing can help you savor this moment and return to read about it when life gets more challenging. If you are sad, expressing how you feel and why can help you gain insight into other factors that are contributing to your mood that may have otherwise gone unnoticed. If you are angry, venting can help you calm down and formulate your thoughts in order to communicate more effectively with loved ones.
Gratitude is another trendy topic. I recently saw a post on Facebook where someone created a mandala by writing everything s/he was grateful for in a circular fashion, like a spiral. It was uplifting and beautiful.
If you have observed a disturbing pattern in your behavior, create a comic strip in your journal. Trace out eight squares. Think about the pattern in a step by step fashion. What is happening before the pattern is triggered? How do you behave when you are triggered? What are the consequences of this behavior? How do you respond to these consequences? You can draw or describe each step in the squares. Once the pattern is visually displayed, think about what would happen if you moved the steps around or if you reacted in an opposite way or removed a step altogether. This exercise sounds simple but it can be enlightening.
If you are more visual, you can create a visual journal. Draw in your journal, create a collage with words or images cut out of magazines or newspapers. I recommend glue sticks rather than white glue because a glue stick won't make the pages wet, sticky and lumpy and, it dries faster. You can also incorporate pieces of fabric in your art. One technique I learned at an art therapy conference uses colorful, patterned napkins. Let's say there is a scene of a table in a beautiful garden. You cut out the image you like and place it in your journal. You then brush some diluted white glue over the image to fasten it to the page. You will need to keep your journal open until it's dry but you can create some really impressive scenes this way.
I hope this post has inspired you to try journaling. Happy writing!
Anne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)