November 30th, 2016
I don't recall reading The Secret when it first came out. I saw a video and heard people talking about it. I did read The Magic which teaches us to be grateful as a way to elevate our frequency in order to manifest our goals. I did The Magic's 28 day challenge and I was amazed at how my life changed. I would get up every day and write ten things I was grateful for in my journal. The key was to not only write what I was thankful for but why. The why helps you feel the emotion behind your gratitude. So, writing that I am happy to be healthy becomes more concrete when I write that my health allows me to be present for my children, take care of them and watch them grow up. I also got into the habit of writing Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! after each gratitude. There was a different energy to my life during those 28 days. I had just released my Have You Hugged Your Alien? book, it was self-published and I only ordered a small quantity because I was basically printing copies for myself, to use during workshops and sell to teachers. The book exploded, I sold out, parents, teachers and therapists were ordering it and my workshops took off. I was invited to speak on radio and tv shows and I was totally unprepared.
I got very busy and, even though I always end the day giving thanks for whatever happened that day, I fell out of the habit of weaving gratitude into my every day life. How The Secret Changed My Life by Rhonda Byrne, caught my attention. The cover had the trademark wax seal with the letter S stamped in the middle. I immediately recognized it and purchased the book. As I read stories of people who had stories similar to the one I had a few years ago, I felt my own energy start to fine tune itself. I was feeling that electric surge again. Things in my life were getting easier. I coupled the journalling about what I am grateful for with my vision for 2017.
This past fall, I attended a publishing bootcamp and was taught to write my "heart's desire" list every day. I repeat many of the same items every day. There is usually a new item or something gets re-worded but it's generally the same idea. You write your list in the present tense as if it has already happened. You focus only on what you want to attract into your life. The list should be as specific as possible.
The Secret taught me to really experience the items on my list, thinking about how it would feel, smell, look and sound to manifest this. So I create vision boards, write affirmations and design visualizations of my life in 2017. How The Secret Changed My Life came into my life at the best time. I am working on my new book, The Mommy Monologues. I need to feel confident that people will come forward to share their stories and that my book will get published. I have no idea how people will hear about my book or how it will make it to the bestseller's list but I don't have to worry about the "how". For now, I picture the book in my hands by Mother's Day 2017. I see it as a bestseller. I imagine myself donating funds to two charities that are on my mind and in line with the message in the book.
Practicing gratitude, having a plan and anticipating how great it will feel to reach my goals is not difficult and doesn't require that much energy. I can, however, attest to the shift that happens when I apply these practices. I feel happier, my relationships are more positive and, through synchronicity, I seem to meet the right people at the right time. Works for me!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 30 November 2016
Tuesday, 29 November 2016
Divorce-Happily Ever After
November 29th, 2016
I can not believe how long it has been since I last posted on this blog. The past week has flown by with a combination of snow days, PD days and sick days. Today is the second snow day of the season but my children are happily playing upstairs. So, I am frantically attempting to write something before they realize I am being productive.
Last month, I read an article in Chatelaine about a woman who was describing how awesome her life was post-divorce. We get free copies of Chatelaine for some reason and I was thumbing through it at breakfast. I was shocked by the article. I know there are many relationships where the people are far better off when it's all over. However, I was struck by the tone of the article. It sounded like divorce was trendy, a lifestyle choice. The author boasted about sleeping in on weekends when the children were at their dad's house. She explained how great it was to have time for herself to take a bath and fold laundry at her own pace. She described how the children benefitted from each parent exposing them to different activities and interests. It sounded like a new ideal, the utopia of divorced couples.
My husband is a hairstylist. He hears about approximately two divorces per week. This is an alarming rate. He comes home after hearing the horror stories of court cases, money battles, children stuck in the middle and it really bothers him that these people are suffering. I hear from women in my work as a therapist. There is no party, only grief and disillusionment. Divorce is not the easy way out. It's not clean cut, straightforward or festive.
Just over a week after reading the article, I saw the movie, Bad Moms. I was really looking forward to it. I saw the trailer and laughed out loud. When we watched the entire movie however, I was surprised to encounter the same message as the article. The main character has a dead beat husband who cheats on her. She decides to kick him out. She spends her days partying with some new friends and driving her ex-husband's sports car. She also meets Mr Right immediately and had sex with him the day before she goes to marriage counselling with her husband. By the end of the movie, her ex and her are friendly, her kids are doing great, she is with the new hottie and has new friends. She has quit her job but it's ok because she's been promoted to a better job.
I want to be clear here that I am not anti-divorce. I know women struggle with the decision for years and often stay longer than they should to protect the children. I get that there are some relationships that have been so damaged by betrayal or abuse that they can never be fixed. What I object to is the glamorization of divorce. The concept that if your life or relationship sucks, you can just dump your husband and everything will fall into place. You will feel awesome and attract a new guy and live happily ever after.
The reality is that your life will be stressful, emotional and chaotic until you are done with the legal, financial aspect of your divorce. You will not feel like jumping into a new relationship. Your children will take their anger out on you even if they can clearly see that leaving your spouse was for the best. You will have to deal with all the issues that came up in your marriage, your fear of abandonment, your inability to trust, your need to control, whatever it is for you. If you jump into another relationship right away, you will only repeat the same painful patterns. Divorce, even when it's the right decision, is a painful transition and it takes time. Any article or movie that teaches you otherwise is misleading.
If you are thinking about leaving your spouse, ask yourself these questions:
1) If I was divorced, how would my life be different? What would I do that is different from my current life? Often, we imagine ourselves leading this exciting life as if our husbands were the only thing standing in our way. Can you implement any of these activities or behaviours in your life right now? You may be surprised by the impact this has on your relationship and your personal happiness.
2) What new behaviours or patterns would you initiate in your next relationship? Can you practice these new patterns in your current relationship? If you imagine yourself being sexually active in your next relationship but you are timid and reserved in this one, try experimenting with your current partner. Can you re-ignite your passion? Try role-playing.
3) Can you see any similarity between your parents' relationship and your own or, between your relationship with one of your parents and your current relationship with your spouse? If daddy always let you down, you may have learned to be self-sufficient. This could lead to shutting your spouse out of your life. Is there room for him? What would happen if you let him and asked him for help, support or affection? Are you willing to be vulnerable?
4) When was the last time you felt connected to your partner? Can you recall what attracted you to him? When did these feelings stop? Are they still there, somewhere? You may want to participate in activities you used to enjoy as a couple in those early days. How about a road trip without the kids? My husband and I love going to Montreal for an overnight.
5) Have you communicated with your husband? Many times, the truth comes out during the divorce process. None of the frustrations or complaints were addressed during the relationship. Then, the husband hears the truth from others or reads it on a court document. It may feel risky to open up a can of worms but it could help and is way less painful than getting divorced.
If you are getting divorced, here are some tips from my clients:
1) Don't make any huge plans or drastic changes right after the separation
2) Give yourself time to grieve
3) Your children are angry and they will act out but, over time, things will calm down, don't take their words personally, they will be loving again
4) Don't talk negatively to your children about their dad. This puts them in the middle and creates tension in them as they feel forced to choose between their parents (and lie to protect their feelings)
5) Surround yourself with positive, supportive people
6) Make self-care a priority
7) Keep your children's best interest at the centre of your interactions with your ex
8) Don't jump into a new relationship to avoid the pain
9) The pain and intensity of this experience will fade over time, it is temporary
10) Focus on moving on with your life and creating something positive rather than holding on to your feelings about your ex and punishing him (draining)
I hope this post has been useful.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I can not believe how long it has been since I last posted on this blog. The past week has flown by with a combination of snow days, PD days and sick days. Today is the second snow day of the season but my children are happily playing upstairs. So, I am frantically attempting to write something before they realize I am being productive.
Last month, I read an article in Chatelaine about a woman who was describing how awesome her life was post-divorce. We get free copies of Chatelaine for some reason and I was thumbing through it at breakfast. I was shocked by the article. I know there are many relationships where the people are far better off when it's all over. However, I was struck by the tone of the article. It sounded like divorce was trendy, a lifestyle choice. The author boasted about sleeping in on weekends when the children were at their dad's house. She explained how great it was to have time for herself to take a bath and fold laundry at her own pace. She described how the children benefitted from each parent exposing them to different activities and interests. It sounded like a new ideal, the utopia of divorced couples.
My husband is a hairstylist. He hears about approximately two divorces per week. This is an alarming rate. He comes home after hearing the horror stories of court cases, money battles, children stuck in the middle and it really bothers him that these people are suffering. I hear from women in my work as a therapist. There is no party, only grief and disillusionment. Divorce is not the easy way out. It's not clean cut, straightforward or festive.
Just over a week after reading the article, I saw the movie, Bad Moms. I was really looking forward to it. I saw the trailer and laughed out loud. When we watched the entire movie however, I was surprised to encounter the same message as the article. The main character has a dead beat husband who cheats on her. She decides to kick him out. She spends her days partying with some new friends and driving her ex-husband's sports car. She also meets Mr Right immediately and had sex with him the day before she goes to marriage counselling with her husband. By the end of the movie, her ex and her are friendly, her kids are doing great, she is with the new hottie and has new friends. She has quit her job but it's ok because she's been promoted to a better job.
I want to be clear here that I am not anti-divorce. I know women struggle with the decision for years and often stay longer than they should to protect the children. I get that there are some relationships that have been so damaged by betrayal or abuse that they can never be fixed. What I object to is the glamorization of divorce. The concept that if your life or relationship sucks, you can just dump your husband and everything will fall into place. You will feel awesome and attract a new guy and live happily ever after.
The reality is that your life will be stressful, emotional and chaotic until you are done with the legal, financial aspect of your divorce. You will not feel like jumping into a new relationship. Your children will take their anger out on you even if they can clearly see that leaving your spouse was for the best. You will have to deal with all the issues that came up in your marriage, your fear of abandonment, your inability to trust, your need to control, whatever it is for you. If you jump into another relationship right away, you will only repeat the same painful patterns. Divorce, even when it's the right decision, is a painful transition and it takes time. Any article or movie that teaches you otherwise is misleading.
If you are thinking about leaving your spouse, ask yourself these questions:
1) If I was divorced, how would my life be different? What would I do that is different from my current life? Often, we imagine ourselves leading this exciting life as if our husbands were the only thing standing in our way. Can you implement any of these activities or behaviours in your life right now? You may be surprised by the impact this has on your relationship and your personal happiness.
2) What new behaviours or patterns would you initiate in your next relationship? Can you practice these new patterns in your current relationship? If you imagine yourself being sexually active in your next relationship but you are timid and reserved in this one, try experimenting with your current partner. Can you re-ignite your passion? Try role-playing.
3) Can you see any similarity between your parents' relationship and your own or, between your relationship with one of your parents and your current relationship with your spouse? If daddy always let you down, you may have learned to be self-sufficient. This could lead to shutting your spouse out of your life. Is there room for him? What would happen if you let him and asked him for help, support or affection? Are you willing to be vulnerable?
4) When was the last time you felt connected to your partner? Can you recall what attracted you to him? When did these feelings stop? Are they still there, somewhere? You may want to participate in activities you used to enjoy as a couple in those early days. How about a road trip without the kids? My husband and I love going to Montreal for an overnight.
5) Have you communicated with your husband? Many times, the truth comes out during the divorce process. None of the frustrations or complaints were addressed during the relationship. Then, the husband hears the truth from others or reads it on a court document. It may feel risky to open up a can of worms but it could help and is way less painful than getting divorced.
If you are getting divorced, here are some tips from my clients:
1) Don't make any huge plans or drastic changes right after the separation
2) Give yourself time to grieve
3) Your children are angry and they will act out but, over time, things will calm down, don't take their words personally, they will be loving again
4) Don't talk negatively to your children about their dad. This puts them in the middle and creates tension in them as they feel forced to choose between their parents (and lie to protect their feelings)
5) Surround yourself with positive, supportive people
6) Make self-care a priority
7) Keep your children's best interest at the centre of your interactions with your ex
8) Don't jump into a new relationship to avoid the pain
9) The pain and intensity of this experience will fade over time, it is temporary
10) Focus on moving on with your life and creating something positive rather than holding on to your feelings about your ex and punishing him (draining)
I hope this post has been useful.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 18 November 2016
What Should We Teach Our Children?
November 18th, 2016
A few days ago, I saw a post on Facebook that truly inspired me. I have these fantasies about homeschooling my girls and traveling as a family. I love their school. They have awesome teachers. I have no problems with their experience at school. If they are going to attend school, KPS is my number one choice. However, both my girls beg me to stay home on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. Why? They are both introverts. They hate crowds and loud noises. They feel drained by the end of the day, not from the physical exertion but the strain of togetherness when what they really want is some quite time to draw, read, think and be.
Here is the quote that got me thinking:
"What if... instead of worrying about whether we should give kids gold stars for participating or gold stars for being the best, we involve kids in real world activities where the end result of the activity itself is the reward? Teach them gardening, woodworking, repair skills, fibre arts, sewing, cooking, get them out hiking somewhere with a gorgeous view. Raise animals and have them learn to care about something other than themselves. Have them help out a grandparent or elderly neighbour. Our society has lost sight of what's truly important in life. It's time to find it again". (Grow Food, Not Lawns).
I am convinced that our children would benefit from applying the knowledge they need to retain rather than trying to master information long enough to pass a test. What they learn in school is so abstract. When are they going to use long division? If they spend time in nature, learning about trees, plants, insects and animals, they will naturally feel more grounded and be inclined to protect the environment because they have a relationship with nature, they'll want to preserve it.
I have witnessed the detrimental effect of the school's health curriculum on preteens. We are so focused on avoiding child obesity that we are creating a generation of young girls who count calories and compare the size of their thighs, worrying that they will become obese. Why not teach them how to grow healthy food and eat fruits and veggies? There are no labels and packaging when you shop in your garden or greenhouse. How empowering would it be for children to learn how to prepare tasty, healthy food?
Math can be applied to every day situations from having a budget and shopping for food together, clipping coupons, comparing prices to find the best deal, paying bills, donating to charity and saving up for something special. Cooking and geometry go hand in hand. The same goes for woodworking. You can create many science experiments in your home with cheap materials like baking soda, dish soap and vinegar. Children's can pursue interests such as art, karate, gymnastics during the day rather than at the end of the day when they are exhausted.
What if we taught our children to be compassionate and gave them tools to succeed socially? Identifying and expressing emotions in a constructive way would be a start, coping with stress and anxiety, communicating with peers and adults in a positive way, learning to respect the boundaries of others while creating and enforcing their own. There is so much to learn in life and much of the important skills that make our children into good citizens are not taught. Why is that?
My friend Chris, who is from BC, told me about the elementary school she went to, an agricultural school where farming was included in the curriculum. That is genius! Is anyone else feeling that need to make education hands-on? I have the vision but I have no clue where to start. I'd love to hear some suggestions.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
A few days ago, I saw a post on Facebook that truly inspired me. I have these fantasies about homeschooling my girls and traveling as a family. I love their school. They have awesome teachers. I have no problems with their experience at school. If they are going to attend school, KPS is my number one choice. However, both my girls beg me to stay home on a weekly, sometimes daily basis. Why? They are both introverts. They hate crowds and loud noises. They feel drained by the end of the day, not from the physical exertion but the strain of togetherness when what they really want is some quite time to draw, read, think and be.
Here is the quote that got me thinking:
"What if... instead of worrying about whether we should give kids gold stars for participating or gold stars for being the best, we involve kids in real world activities where the end result of the activity itself is the reward? Teach them gardening, woodworking, repair skills, fibre arts, sewing, cooking, get them out hiking somewhere with a gorgeous view. Raise animals and have them learn to care about something other than themselves. Have them help out a grandparent or elderly neighbour. Our society has lost sight of what's truly important in life. It's time to find it again". (Grow Food, Not Lawns).
I am convinced that our children would benefit from applying the knowledge they need to retain rather than trying to master information long enough to pass a test. What they learn in school is so abstract. When are they going to use long division? If they spend time in nature, learning about trees, plants, insects and animals, they will naturally feel more grounded and be inclined to protect the environment because they have a relationship with nature, they'll want to preserve it.
I have witnessed the detrimental effect of the school's health curriculum on preteens. We are so focused on avoiding child obesity that we are creating a generation of young girls who count calories and compare the size of their thighs, worrying that they will become obese. Why not teach them how to grow healthy food and eat fruits and veggies? There are no labels and packaging when you shop in your garden or greenhouse. How empowering would it be for children to learn how to prepare tasty, healthy food?
Math can be applied to every day situations from having a budget and shopping for food together, clipping coupons, comparing prices to find the best deal, paying bills, donating to charity and saving up for something special. Cooking and geometry go hand in hand. The same goes for woodworking. You can create many science experiments in your home with cheap materials like baking soda, dish soap and vinegar. Children's can pursue interests such as art, karate, gymnastics during the day rather than at the end of the day when they are exhausted.
What if we taught our children to be compassionate and gave them tools to succeed socially? Identifying and expressing emotions in a constructive way would be a start, coping with stress and anxiety, communicating with peers and adults in a positive way, learning to respect the boundaries of others while creating and enforcing their own. There is so much to learn in life and much of the important skills that make our children into good citizens are not taught. Why is that?
My friend Chris, who is from BC, told me about the elementary school she went to, an agricultural school where farming was included in the curriculum. That is genius! Is anyone else feeling that need to make education hands-on? I have the vision but I have no clue where to start. I'd love to hear some suggestions.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 17 November 2016
A Dog Named Raiden
November 17th, 2016
It's been a hectic week. My daughters were sick so there were doctor's appointments and the girls were not in school which means I got nothing done. Then I got sick. I had to move my Mommy Monologues around and postpone a few art therapy appointments in order to not contaminate my clients. I was feeling exhausted and stressed then this happened...
A friend's dog went missing. A large Akita named Raiden. I saw a Facebook post. They didn't know where he was but I felt pretty confident he would turn up, he's a big dog. I got busy and life went on then I saw another post. He was still missing. I started thinking they may not find him. After I put the girls on the bus, I told my husband I would go for a walk and look for Raiden. I know the mom of that family, a sweet, local yoga instructor and, her daughter is in my daughter's class. They are a great family and, that kid is just the sweetest girl ever. It broke my heart that she might lose her dog.
As I walked around our property looking for Raiden, it felt like I was just one person trying to help out. However, once I left my property and walked around the neighbourhood, I heard a man calling out for the dog in a nearby wooded area. I assumed he must be the dad. My heart went out to him. Now, there were two of us looking for the dog. I saw a lady driving slowly in my direction. I wondered if she had spotted the dog. I saw her put something in a mailbox. I thought she was delivering a newspaper or flyers. I kept walking. As I approached her car, she asked me if I wanted a flyer. It had Raiden's photo on it. I explained that I was also looking for him and had a milk bone in my pocket, just in case. She confessed to also having a milk bone in her pocket. We laughed and I grabbed a few flyers.
She had already driven through the community I was heading into so I turned around and walked back toward my house, intending to get in the car and drive in the opposite direction. I saw a man walking a dog. It was a big dog. I wondered if that was the man who had been calling Raiden's name and, if that was Raiden on his leash. I walked faster. As I neared them, I saw that this was another dog. However, the man saw the poster in my hands and we talked about where he had been and where I was going to go so we could plan out our next move. I gave him a poster. He had walked all over his five acre property and had checked neighbouring fields and barns. People gave him permission to inspect their barns and property in case the dog was resting there. I felt so proud to live in this community. The lady in the van caught up to us and the man pointed out some more barns that might be good hiding spots. He also told her the construction workers on the next street should get a poster because they were there all day, every day of the week. We parted ways, he walked north, back to his home. The van lady headed west to deliver more flyers and speak with the construction workers and, I walked south to return to my home. Just as I was about to reach my home, I saw someone else I recognized. She was driving around, looking for Raiden. I gave her a poster.
My husband and I drove to a nearby community for lunch. We took a detour to look for the dog. We each checked out our side of the car. I gave the waitress a copy of the poster and asked her to put it up in case someone recognized the dog. She was very responsive and took the flyer immediately. This morning, as soon as I got up, I checked Facebook and saw photos of the reunion. I was so excited for them! They had been out looking for him at night and found him stuck in the mud. The vet made a house call and checked on him. He was tired but otherwise ok.
This experience warmed my heart. All we hear about right now is Donald Trump, racism, riots, the revival of the kkk and gloomy predictions regarding the future of the USA. However, my direct experience out here in my neck of the woods showed me what an awesome community I live in. Where strangers come together to look for a missing dog. Where people care about each other, worry for someone else's pet and cheer heartily when the family is reunited. I am so happy to be in this community. You rock, Kemptville!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
It's been a hectic week. My daughters were sick so there were doctor's appointments and the girls were not in school which means I got nothing done. Then I got sick. I had to move my Mommy Monologues around and postpone a few art therapy appointments in order to not contaminate my clients. I was feeling exhausted and stressed then this happened...
A friend's dog went missing. A large Akita named Raiden. I saw a Facebook post. They didn't know where he was but I felt pretty confident he would turn up, he's a big dog. I got busy and life went on then I saw another post. He was still missing. I started thinking they may not find him. After I put the girls on the bus, I told my husband I would go for a walk and look for Raiden. I know the mom of that family, a sweet, local yoga instructor and, her daughter is in my daughter's class. They are a great family and, that kid is just the sweetest girl ever. It broke my heart that she might lose her dog.
As I walked around our property looking for Raiden, it felt like I was just one person trying to help out. However, once I left my property and walked around the neighbourhood, I heard a man calling out for the dog in a nearby wooded area. I assumed he must be the dad. My heart went out to him. Now, there were two of us looking for the dog. I saw a lady driving slowly in my direction. I wondered if she had spotted the dog. I saw her put something in a mailbox. I thought she was delivering a newspaper or flyers. I kept walking. As I approached her car, she asked me if I wanted a flyer. It had Raiden's photo on it. I explained that I was also looking for him and had a milk bone in my pocket, just in case. She confessed to also having a milk bone in her pocket. We laughed and I grabbed a few flyers.
She had already driven through the community I was heading into so I turned around and walked back toward my house, intending to get in the car and drive in the opposite direction. I saw a man walking a dog. It was a big dog. I wondered if that was the man who had been calling Raiden's name and, if that was Raiden on his leash. I walked faster. As I neared them, I saw that this was another dog. However, the man saw the poster in my hands and we talked about where he had been and where I was going to go so we could plan out our next move. I gave him a poster. He had walked all over his five acre property and had checked neighbouring fields and barns. People gave him permission to inspect their barns and property in case the dog was resting there. I felt so proud to live in this community. The lady in the van caught up to us and the man pointed out some more barns that might be good hiding spots. He also told her the construction workers on the next street should get a poster because they were there all day, every day of the week. We parted ways, he walked north, back to his home. The van lady headed west to deliver more flyers and speak with the construction workers and, I walked south to return to my home. Just as I was about to reach my home, I saw someone else I recognized. She was driving around, looking for Raiden. I gave her a poster.
My husband and I drove to a nearby community for lunch. We took a detour to look for the dog. We each checked out our side of the car. I gave the waitress a copy of the poster and asked her to put it up in case someone recognized the dog. She was very responsive and took the flyer immediately. This morning, as soon as I got up, I checked Facebook and saw photos of the reunion. I was so excited for them! They had been out looking for him at night and found him stuck in the mud. The vet made a house call and checked on him. He was tired but otherwise ok.
This experience warmed my heart. All we hear about right now is Donald Trump, racism, riots, the revival of the kkk and gloomy predictions regarding the future of the USA. However, my direct experience out here in my neck of the woods showed me what an awesome community I live in. Where strangers come together to look for a missing dog. Where people care about each other, worry for someone else's pet and cheer heartily when the family is reunited. I am so happy to be in this community. You rock, Kemptville!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 14 November 2016
Rodolphe Charron
November 14th, 2016
Today would have been my grandfather's birthday. He passed away ten years ago at the age of 95. I loved my grandpa. He lost his entire family when he was eight years old because his mother had severe postpartum psychosis (we think) and she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. His father owned a general store and couldn't take care of the eight children. Therefore, they were all shipped off to different locations.
My grandpa was sent to a seminary where young men were sent to become priests. He cried for months. He looked up to an older boy who was living at the seminary. This young man was very disciplined and spent hours every evening doing his homework. My grandfather developed respect for education and had his own aspirations. However, as soon as he was old enough, his father returned for him. He had him work at his store. Eventually, he took over his business and became very successful. I don't know what he would have become if he hadn't been forced to take over the family business. He loved to watch the news, discuss politics and have debates with other men. I think he would have gone into law or politics.
He dated my grandmother for a long time before they married. We found out years later that she got pregnant and then they got married. It was their secret. My grandfather was intelligent. He was great with people, very polite and friendly. I can see why his business grew to be such a success. He was hardworking and proper. He wasn't the type to fool around or flirt with other women. My grandparents had five children together. My grandmother raised the children and my grandfather earned money. If one of the boys was given her a hard time, she would tell my grandad when he got home from work and he would get his strap. Ouch!
When the neighbourhood where his store was located became impoverished, he was robbed and held at gunpoint. The last time he was held at gun point, he decided to retire. He experienced symptoms following this trauma, probably like ptsd. He stayed home for a while and my grandmother was not happy about this new arrangement. He would walk around the house, whistling then read his paper and sit at the table for lunch or supper. He loved eating but he was especially fond of dessert. My grandma was an excellent cook so there was always plenty to eat and it was delicious. After he retired, they had to sell their country home. They moved to the city and lived in a tiny apartment. This was a difficult adjustment but the country property was too much for them to manage and it was more expensive.
Eventually, my grandad got jobs at the quarry then the courthouse. When he stopped working there, he ran errands for his siblings. They had reconnected at some point. His sister suffered from dementia so he would visit her weekly and run errands for her. His younger brother had a disability due to Scarlett Fever. He would take him out with him. Sometimes, they would go hunting together. He would drive out to his sister's ex husband's house regularly. It was an hour drive into the country and I would often go with him. I loved being in this country home and I would borrow the neighbour's dog to play with and care for.
My grandfather was really mellow. He had a great sense of humour, not so much saying jokes but laughing easily at the jokes of others. I can still see his belly jiggling and nostrils flaring as he laughed. He loved reading his paper, going out for walks to talk to other older men about politics and eating sweets. He drove everywhere and when he was diagnosed with dementia, his license was taken away. This was really hard on him. He was quiet. He preferred to let my grandmother enjoy the limelight. She liked it that way too. She sang and said jokes and everyone laughed, including him.
When you went to their home, there was a jar of jujubes near the front door on a kitchen cabinet. Many of us grabbed some jujubes on our way in or on the way out. There were grapes, slices of cheese, pickles and celery on the table for people to munch on and, as soon as you arrived, my grandfather would ask you if you'd like a pop or coffee or tea. He would fetch the pop and grandma would make coffee or tea.
You never knew who was stopping by during one of your visits. There was a knock on the door and you were instantly connecting with cousins, aunts, friends of the family etc. Both my grandparents loved that. I didn't have a father growing up so I am grateful that I had my grandfather in my life. I saw a gentle, caring, funny, hardworking, intelligent gentleman who took care of his family. I loved riding the elevator with him. He always took his hat off in the presence of women and greeted people as they got onto the elevator. I couldn't have asked for a better role model.
Happy birthday Grandpa! I love you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Today would have been my grandfather's birthday. He passed away ten years ago at the age of 95. I loved my grandpa. He lost his entire family when he was eight years old because his mother had severe postpartum psychosis (we think) and she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. His father owned a general store and couldn't take care of the eight children. Therefore, they were all shipped off to different locations.
My grandpa was sent to a seminary where young men were sent to become priests. He cried for months. He looked up to an older boy who was living at the seminary. This young man was very disciplined and spent hours every evening doing his homework. My grandfather developed respect for education and had his own aspirations. However, as soon as he was old enough, his father returned for him. He had him work at his store. Eventually, he took over his business and became very successful. I don't know what he would have become if he hadn't been forced to take over the family business. He loved to watch the news, discuss politics and have debates with other men. I think he would have gone into law or politics.
He dated my grandmother for a long time before they married. We found out years later that she got pregnant and then they got married. It was their secret. My grandfather was intelligent. He was great with people, very polite and friendly. I can see why his business grew to be such a success. He was hardworking and proper. He wasn't the type to fool around or flirt with other women. My grandparents had five children together. My grandmother raised the children and my grandfather earned money. If one of the boys was given her a hard time, she would tell my grandad when he got home from work and he would get his strap. Ouch!
When the neighbourhood where his store was located became impoverished, he was robbed and held at gunpoint. The last time he was held at gun point, he decided to retire. He experienced symptoms following this trauma, probably like ptsd. He stayed home for a while and my grandmother was not happy about this new arrangement. He would walk around the house, whistling then read his paper and sit at the table for lunch or supper. He loved eating but he was especially fond of dessert. My grandma was an excellent cook so there was always plenty to eat and it was delicious. After he retired, they had to sell their country home. They moved to the city and lived in a tiny apartment. This was a difficult adjustment but the country property was too much for them to manage and it was more expensive.
Eventually, my grandad got jobs at the quarry then the courthouse. When he stopped working there, he ran errands for his siblings. They had reconnected at some point. His sister suffered from dementia so he would visit her weekly and run errands for her. His younger brother had a disability due to Scarlett Fever. He would take him out with him. Sometimes, they would go hunting together. He would drive out to his sister's ex husband's house regularly. It was an hour drive into the country and I would often go with him. I loved being in this country home and I would borrow the neighbour's dog to play with and care for.
My grandfather was really mellow. He had a great sense of humour, not so much saying jokes but laughing easily at the jokes of others. I can still see his belly jiggling and nostrils flaring as he laughed. He loved reading his paper, going out for walks to talk to other older men about politics and eating sweets. He drove everywhere and when he was diagnosed with dementia, his license was taken away. This was really hard on him. He was quiet. He preferred to let my grandmother enjoy the limelight. She liked it that way too. She sang and said jokes and everyone laughed, including him.
When you went to their home, there was a jar of jujubes near the front door on a kitchen cabinet. Many of us grabbed some jujubes on our way in or on the way out. There were grapes, slices of cheese, pickles and celery on the table for people to munch on and, as soon as you arrived, my grandfather would ask you if you'd like a pop or coffee or tea. He would fetch the pop and grandma would make coffee or tea.
You never knew who was stopping by during one of your visits. There was a knock on the door and you were instantly connecting with cousins, aunts, friends of the family etc. Both my grandparents loved that. I didn't have a father growing up so I am grateful that I had my grandfather in my life. I saw a gentle, caring, funny, hardworking, intelligent gentleman who took care of his family. I loved riding the elevator with him. He always took his hat off in the presence of women and greeted people as they got onto the elevator. I couldn't have asked for a better role model.
Happy birthday Grandpa! I love you!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Friday, 11 November 2016
Hair Salon Assistant for a Week
November 11th, 2016
First of all, I want to acknowledge that today is Remembrance Day. To all the men and women who serve our country, sacrificing your lives to keep us safe and free, we all owe you an enormous debt of gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!
Since I wrote about our veterans and remembrance day in my post a few days ago, I will write about something completely different today. A few weeks ago, my husband's assistant took a two week vacation to visit a friend living in Vietnam. Her friend is teaching there and Brooke got to visit her friend but also travel through Vietnam. This was an eye-opener for her; the food, the culture and the experience of being a minority. I had my own eye-opener during her absence because my husband asked me to help him out for the week that he was on his own. I became Assistant for a Week.
I was very nervous because I know he and Brooke have been working together for years now and she knows what to do to support him. She is also trained as a stylist so she can apply colour, rinse hair, cut and blow dry which takes the load off of Vincent. I wasn't sure if my presence would be helpful or frustrating to him. What if I pissed him off and we spent the week fighting?
My main responsibilities were confirming appointments, making coffee, sweeping the floor, rinsing the colour bowls, taking people's money and booking their next appointments. To my surprise, I loved it! I learned a great deal about myself and my relationship with my husband. I was able to apply what I have learned to my regular life as an art therapist, author, public speaker when my life returned to normal.
Here is what I learned:
I love people! I normally spend a great deal of time writing, organizing materials for a workshop, e-mailing clients to schedule appointments or negotiate contracts. I really enjoyed being with people, talking about what is happening in their lives and seeing the parallels among the many women who walked through those doors, lots of transitions, stresses, important decisions and feeling alone with it all.
It feels so good to complete things. At the shop, I had simple tasks to complete. It was easy, no need for problem-solving or interventions. I made the coffee, swept the floor, confirmed the appointments, check! In my regular life, I have so many tasks that are endless. I clean the house but I work around the clutter left behind by my children and husband. I sweep the floor in the front entrance but I have to lift the four pairs of shoes/boots and my husband's motorcycle helmet, goggles and ear plugs. I prepare lunches for the girls and then see how much of it was wasted when they get home. Why didn't you eat this? Ran out of time. I empty the lunch kits, knowing I will refill them with the same stuff the next day. Preparing the bath for the girls, making the beds, picking up the clutter that is littering the floors and countertops. It is all so lonely and demoralizing. Trying to come up with something new and tasty for supper that everyone will love. It's never happened.
My husband and I always joke around, it's part of what I enjoy about our relationship. We get silly and love to make each other laugh. Bringing this dynamic to the shop was so fun. Clients enjoyed our banter and joined in, taking sides or adding their own twist. I have always enjoyed watching my husband work because he is so good at his job. I felt that my work at the shop was witnessed. As weird as this sounds, I was doing small, menial tasks but others, including my husband, could see what I was doing and it felt validating. No matter who hard you work when you are at home, no one sees it and it doesn't last. There is no recognition or validation.
I brought my computer to the shop and could still get my writing done between clients. This brought more balance to my day between typing and focusing on my writing, alone and, enjoying a break, a satisfying conversation with clients.
How to apply this to my regular life?
Recognizing that I need more balance between time to myself and time with others, I started meeting more of the women I interview in person rather than speaking over the phone, I bring my computer to the coffee shop to type up my notes so I see people and stop for breaks to chat with them. I challenge my children to pick up their own rooms. They now have three bins each to store dolls, art materials and small toys. This means I can now vacuum their floor without having to pick up the stuff from their room. I am doing more group work which is more dynamic and interactive in nature.
I am lucky. I have a great life. I am able to make decisions every day regarding how I will organize my work. I get to do what I love and now, thanks to this insight, I have added more socializing to my every day life.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
First of all, I want to acknowledge that today is Remembrance Day. To all the men and women who serve our country, sacrificing your lives to keep us safe and free, we all owe you an enormous debt of gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!
Since I wrote about our veterans and remembrance day in my post a few days ago, I will write about something completely different today. A few weeks ago, my husband's assistant took a two week vacation to visit a friend living in Vietnam. Her friend is teaching there and Brooke got to visit her friend but also travel through Vietnam. This was an eye-opener for her; the food, the culture and the experience of being a minority. I had my own eye-opener during her absence because my husband asked me to help him out for the week that he was on his own. I became Assistant for a Week.
I was very nervous because I know he and Brooke have been working together for years now and she knows what to do to support him. She is also trained as a stylist so she can apply colour, rinse hair, cut and blow dry which takes the load off of Vincent. I wasn't sure if my presence would be helpful or frustrating to him. What if I pissed him off and we spent the week fighting?
My main responsibilities were confirming appointments, making coffee, sweeping the floor, rinsing the colour bowls, taking people's money and booking their next appointments. To my surprise, I loved it! I learned a great deal about myself and my relationship with my husband. I was able to apply what I have learned to my regular life as an art therapist, author, public speaker when my life returned to normal.
Here is what I learned:
I love people! I normally spend a great deal of time writing, organizing materials for a workshop, e-mailing clients to schedule appointments or negotiate contracts. I really enjoyed being with people, talking about what is happening in their lives and seeing the parallels among the many women who walked through those doors, lots of transitions, stresses, important decisions and feeling alone with it all.
It feels so good to complete things. At the shop, I had simple tasks to complete. It was easy, no need for problem-solving or interventions. I made the coffee, swept the floor, confirmed the appointments, check! In my regular life, I have so many tasks that are endless. I clean the house but I work around the clutter left behind by my children and husband. I sweep the floor in the front entrance but I have to lift the four pairs of shoes/boots and my husband's motorcycle helmet, goggles and ear plugs. I prepare lunches for the girls and then see how much of it was wasted when they get home. Why didn't you eat this? Ran out of time. I empty the lunch kits, knowing I will refill them with the same stuff the next day. Preparing the bath for the girls, making the beds, picking up the clutter that is littering the floors and countertops. It is all so lonely and demoralizing. Trying to come up with something new and tasty for supper that everyone will love. It's never happened.
My husband and I always joke around, it's part of what I enjoy about our relationship. We get silly and love to make each other laugh. Bringing this dynamic to the shop was so fun. Clients enjoyed our banter and joined in, taking sides or adding their own twist. I have always enjoyed watching my husband work because he is so good at his job. I felt that my work at the shop was witnessed. As weird as this sounds, I was doing small, menial tasks but others, including my husband, could see what I was doing and it felt validating. No matter who hard you work when you are at home, no one sees it and it doesn't last. There is no recognition or validation.
I brought my computer to the shop and could still get my writing done between clients. This brought more balance to my day between typing and focusing on my writing, alone and, enjoying a break, a satisfying conversation with clients.
How to apply this to my regular life?
Recognizing that I need more balance between time to myself and time with others, I started meeting more of the women I interview in person rather than speaking over the phone, I bring my computer to the coffee shop to type up my notes so I see people and stop for breaks to chat with them. I challenge my children to pick up their own rooms. They now have three bins each to store dolls, art materials and small toys. This means I can now vacuum their floor without having to pick up the stuff from their room. I am doing more group work which is more dynamic and interactive in nature.
I am lucky. I have a great life. I am able to make decisions every day regarding how I will organize my work. I get to do what I love and now, thanks to this insight, I have added more socializing to my every day life.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Thursday, 10 November 2016
Book of the Week, Meditation Within Eternity
November 10th, 2016
I generally read one book per week. However, for some time now, I have been reading a book by Eric Pepin, Meditation Within Eternity. I read it because I saw a review of this book on Facebook and it was described as holding the key to experiencing deeper meditations. I have been struggling to create a regular mediation practice. Like many other moms, I have a hard time finding some time to myself. I generally try to meditate right after the girls have gotten on the school bus or during my shower. At the end of the day, I am so tired that I fall asleep during the deep breathing exercises that precede the actual meditation. I thought this book might hold the key.
The book is really intense and I tried to stay focused but found my mind drifting. It's one of those deep books with profound concepts that take some time to wrap your mind around. Pepin explains that we often meditate in order to calm our bodies but that we shouldn't be focusing on our bodies because it holds us down in this realm. What we need to do is realize that we are energy and this body is simply a container that relays sensory information to us so we can experience life on earth. If we are trying to reach higher realms, we need to free ourselves from our bodies.
He introduces the reader to the concept of frequencies. Our non-physical, energy self is at a higher frequency. We need to practice meditation in order to access higher frequencies, it's a progressive process. Eric compares this to changing lanes on a highway and how we need to accelerate in order to get to the far lane. Our vibration needs to match higher realms in order for us to change lanes. We learned that our energy gets stored in objects and spaces like when you walk into a room and feel that someone just had a fight in there. We affect each other with this energy. One person smiles at you, changes your mood, you smile at the next person and the chain reaction goes on. Our emotions are reflected in our energy fields which far surpass our physical bodies. In this way, people can be drawn to us, repelled by us or even be changed by ur very presence. In order to transform negative energy trapped in a space or object, we can move objects around or think pleasant thoughts while being in the room or holding the object. We can also create a positive experience to replace the old associations.
We then learn to differentiate between the brain which is physical and the mind which is energy. When you control the brain, the part that distracts you during meditation, you will expand your mind, meaning your awareness and soul. We need to be removed from our busy, rushed world to make space for contemplation, to figure out who we are inside. As we learn to escape the confines of our body during meditation, we return to our state as energy. Our thoughts create our frequency. If we think negative thoughts, it becomes harder for us to achieve higher states.
The book teaches us to sit in half-lotus and focus on three of the chakras, touching each one with our fingers in order to stay rooted there. As we spend time on each chakra, exploring it, we help the energy flow throughout our bodies, aligning all the chakras. The third eye chakra helps us develop our psychic abilities, opening us up to the universe and different ways of knowing. I was very excited to learn these techniques but, at the end of the book, there is simply an invitation to visit the book's website to be guided through a meditation.
While the concepts in this book provide food for thought, it is advertised as a 'how-to' book, showing you how to meditate. This is false. There is a great deal of jargon and description of what will happen to you or what is available to you once you reach a higher level of meditation but there is very little information on how to get there. I was very disappointed in the book. I will practice what I learned on pages 114-117 and will visit the website to try the meditation but the amount of time I devoted to reading this book has not brought me closer to deeper meditation. This is a book about energy, a new way to see the universe, our relationship with God and our role in the grand scheme of things. Meditation is not the focus of this book. I shared the book with two other spiritual people for whom I have a great deal of respect. Neither of them could stick with the book. They had no interest in borrowing it when I was done. Eric is the founder of the Higher Balance Institute (www.higherbalance.com). You can also find his videos on You Tube.
I will work on creating the time and space I need to practice his process and I'll let you know how it turns out.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I generally read one book per week. However, for some time now, I have been reading a book by Eric Pepin, Meditation Within Eternity. I read it because I saw a review of this book on Facebook and it was described as holding the key to experiencing deeper meditations. I have been struggling to create a regular mediation practice. Like many other moms, I have a hard time finding some time to myself. I generally try to meditate right after the girls have gotten on the school bus or during my shower. At the end of the day, I am so tired that I fall asleep during the deep breathing exercises that precede the actual meditation. I thought this book might hold the key.
The book is really intense and I tried to stay focused but found my mind drifting. It's one of those deep books with profound concepts that take some time to wrap your mind around. Pepin explains that we often meditate in order to calm our bodies but that we shouldn't be focusing on our bodies because it holds us down in this realm. What we need to do is realize that we are energy and this body is simply a container that relays sensory information to us so we can experience life on earth. If we are trying to reach higher realms, we need to free ourselves from our bodies.
He introduces the reader to the concept of frequencies. Our non-physical, energy self is at a higher frequency. We need to practice meditation in order to access higher frequencies, it's a progressive process. Eric compares this to changing lanes on a highway and how we need to accelerate in order to get to the far lane. Our vibration needs to match higher realms in order for us to change lanes. We learned that our energy gets stored in objects and spaces like when you walk into a room and feel that someone just had a fight in there. We affect each other with this energy. One person smiles at you, changes your mood, you smile at the next person and the chain reaction goes on. Our emotions are reflected in our energy fields which far surpass our physical bodies. In this way, people can be drawn to us, repelled by us or even be changed by ur very presence. In order to transform negative energy trapped in a space or object, we can move objects around or think pleasant thoughts while being in the room or holding the object. We can also create a positive experience to replace the old associations.
We then learn to differentiate between the brain which is physical and the mind which is energy. When you control the brain, the part that distracts you during meditation, you will expand your mind, meaning your awareness and soul. We need to be removed from our busy, rushed world to make space for contemplation, to figure out who we are inside. As we learn to escape the confines of our body during meditation, we return to our state as energy. Our thoughts create our frequency. If we think negative thoughts, it becomes harder for us to achieve higher states.
The book teaches us to sit in half-lotus and focus on three of the chakras, touching each one with our fingers in order to stay rooted there. As we spend time on each chakra, exploring it, we help the energy flow throughout our bodies, aligning all the chakras. The third eye chakra helps us develop our psychic abilities, opening us up to the universe and different ways of knowing. I was very excited to learn these techniques but, at the end of the book, there is simply an invitation to visit the book's website to be guided through a meditation.
While the concepts in this book provide food for thought, it is advertised as a 'how-to' book, showing you how to meditate. This is false. There is a great deal of jargon and description of what will happen to you or what is available to you once you reach a higher level of meditation but there is very little information on how to get there. I was very disappointed in the book. I will practice what I learned on pages 114-117 and will visit the website to try the meditation but the amount of time I devoted to reading this book has not brought me closer to deeper meditation. This is a book about energy, a new way to see the universe, our relationship with God and our role in the grand scheme of things. Meditation is not the focus of this book. I shared the book with two other spiritual people for whom I have a great deal of respect. Neither of them could stick with the book. They had no interest in borrowing it when I was done. Eric is the founder of the Higher Balance Institute (www.higherbalance.com). You can also find his videos on You Tube.
I will work on creating the time and space I need to practice his process and I'll let you know how it turns out.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Wednesday, 9 November 2016
Remembrance Day
November 9th, 2016
Last night, my eldest came into our bed. She's a tosser and turner so we didn't get a decent sleep. This morning started off with the news that Trump would become the next US President. I felt like I was going to throw up. I have been needing to renew my passport but I put it off because my husband and I like to go to Ogdensburg, New York every week. We get groceries at Price Chopper, cheap gas for the truck and eat a fabulous buffet lunch at Buster's. I won't be venturing over the border any time soon so, next week, I'll be renewing my passport.
Vin and I were also waiting until the election to book our holiday for next March. We were planning on a trip to the Florida Keys but we knew there was a chance that Trump would be in power, meaning there would be upheaval and potentially riots. I don't feel safe in the US under Trump's "leadership". We had explored other options; Mexico, Cuba, the Bahamas. We talked about booking our trip all week, we were going to do it today. However, we both had our hearts set on Florida and, as we looked over the properties in Mexico, as gorgeous as they seemed, we couldn't do it.
The parallels between Trump and Hitler are frightening. I wonder if we are about to witness WW3. My daughters are preparing for a Remembrance Day ceremony. A few nights ago, we were discussing the meaning of Remembrance Day. They see older men in uniform parading down the main street. They hear depressing music and long speeches about soldiers who fought for our freedom. They don't get it. I wish they had a grandfather to speak to, someone they know and love who has been through the war. So I talked to them about the boys in their class, the ones they like. I asked them to imagine that they are 19 years old, dating and that there is a war. I explained that, just like them, young women were in love and imagining a future with their boyfriends. Only, they were drafted, this means they received a letter stating that they had to go and be soldiers. These young boys were scared, they didn't want to go. They went far from their families, grouped with other young boys just as frightened as they were. They received training in combat and weaponry. Then, these young men were sent out to fight against other scared young boys from other countries. They had to protect themselves, shoot at other people otherwise they would be shot. Lots of these young men were killed or they saw others being killed. Some didn't come home, others returned but they were never the same. I wondered if I was traumatizing them by telling them all of this. However, I want them to understand that these older men were once young boys who did the unimaginable. They risked their lives to protect what we take for granted every day.
I took down the Halloween decorations and had an idea. We should all decorate our homes in honour of Remembrance Day. Red poppies all over the lawn, flags, messages on signs that say, Thank you for keeping us safe. Maybe if we had Remembrance Day decorations, people would resist the urge to bring out the Christmas decorations before Remembrance Day.
As we head into Trump's four year term, I am frightened, uncertain about the future of our neighbours in the US and worried about the impact of their election on our own peaceful nation. However, more than ever, I am grateful to the men and women who have served and still work hard to protect this amazing country of ours.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Last night, my eldest came into our bed. She's a tosser and turner so we didn't get a decent sleep. This morning started off with the news that Trump would become the next US President. I felt like I was going to throw up. I have been needing to renew my passport but I put it off because my husband and I like to go to Ogdensburg, New York every week. We get groceries at Price Chopper, cheap gas for the truck and eat a fabulous buffet lunch at Buster's. I won't be venturing over the border any time soon so, next week, I'll be renewing my passport.
Vin and I were also waiting until the election to book our holiday for next March. We were planning on a trip to the Florida Keys but we knew there was a chance that Trump would be in power, meaning there would be upheaval and potentially riots. I don't feel safe in the US under Trump's "leadership". We had explored other options; Mexico, Cuba, the Bahamas. We talked about booking our trip all week, we were going to do it today. However, we both had our hearts set on Florida and, as we looked over the properties in Mexico, as gorgeous as they seemed, we couldn't do it.
The parallels between Trump and Hitler are frightening. I wonder if we are about to witness WW3. My daughters are preparing for a Remembrance Day ceremony. A few nights ago, we were discussing the meaning of Remembrance Day. They see older men in uniform parading down the main street. They hear depressing music and long speeches about soldiers who fought for our freedom. They don't get it. I wish they had a grandfather to speak to, someone they know and love who has been through the war. So I talked to them about the boys in their class, the ones they like. I asked them to imagine that they are 19 years old, dating and that there is a war. I explained that, just like them, young women were in love and imagining a future with their boyfriends. Only, they were drafted, this means they received a letter stating that they had to go and be soldiers. These young boys were scared, they didn't want to go. They went far from their families, grouped with other young boys just as frightened as they were. They received training in combat and weaponry. Then, these young men were sent out to fight against other scared young boys from other countries. They had to protect themselves, shoot at other people otherwise they would be shot. Lots of these young men were killed or they saw others being killed. Some didn't come home, others returned but they were never the same. I wondered if I was traumatizing them by telling them all of this. However, I want them to understand that these older men were once young boys who did the unimaginable. They risked their lives to protect what we take for granted every day.
I took down the Halloween decorations and had an idea. We should all decorate our homes in honour of Remembrance Day. Red poppies all over the lawn, flags, messages on signs that say, Thank you for keeping us safe. Maybe if we had Remembrance Day decorations, people would resist the urge to bring out the Christmas decorations before Remembrance Day.
As we head into Trump's four year term, I am frightened, uncertain about the future of our neighbours in the US and worried about the impact of their election on our own peaceful nation. However, more than ever, I am grateful to the men and women who have served and still work hard to protect this amazing country of ours.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 8 November 2016
The Booming Sex Toy Industry
November 8th, 2016
So there I was, standing with my basket full of groceries at the checkout, wondering what to write about today. The US election? Nah! The amazing interviews I am having with a variety of truly heroic moms? Keep it for the book. I got to my car and was driving home, the sun shining on this beautiful day. Then it hit me. I am going to write about sex toys. Gone are the days of women lying still, missionary style, waiting for their husbands to finish. I was certain that there was an article out there proving what I know to be true, women are more openly sexual than ever and are looking for ways to add spice to their life.
Bingo! I did a google search and found an article in Forbes magazine about the explosion of this industry (http://www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2016/07/15/adult-expo-founders-talk-15b-sex-toy-industry-after-20-years-in-the-fray/#162991e638a1). Apparently, sex toys used to be sold to men in addition to their videos in adult novelty shops. Thanks to Sex and the City and Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more bold in expressing their desire for additional stimulation and novelty.
Some of the innovations in this field include pretty packaging that appeals to women, as well as pink and purple coloured toys, waterproof products to help with cleaning and usage at bath time, better textures so it feels like real skin and, access to a huge inventory via the internet. Using social media has helped this industry reach people they couldn't market to through traditional advertising. Technology helps women charge their equipment with a USB cable and empowers women with a stronger motor and more choices as far as the sensations they want; vibrate, pulse, tap etc.
In this article, they look toward the future and suggest that we might be able to purchase products with a memory which means it will do what you want in whatever sequence you'd like and remember these preferences for future use. There was also talk of remote control technology so you can stimulate your partner from a distance.Vin and I had a good laugh about this one, speculating the many ways we could use this to torture each other (in a positive way).
Not only is this a growing industry, "it stands as a $15 billion market segment, with projections that it will surpass $50 billion by 2020” but it also a generous industry donating millions to charities such as CalExotic's partnership "with the nonprofit organization Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) to create Inspire. Inspire is a collection of female-centric products whose sales benefit LBBC."
I have heard of sex toy parties and when I googled this I found that there are many companies offering this service. I was never invited to any of these parties but I imagined candid conversations, bottles of wine and giggling. I am glad that I live at a time where women can be empowered to express their healthy sexuality with a partner or on their own. It's about time!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
So there I was, standing with my basket full of groceries at the checkout, wondering what to write about today. The US election? Nah! The amazing interviews I am having with a variety of truly heroic moms? Keep it for the book. I got to my car and was driving home, the sun shining on this beautiful day. Then it hit me. I am going to write about sex toys. Gone are the days of women lying still, missionary style, waiting for their husbands to finish. I was certain that there was an article out there proving what I know to be true, women are more openly sexual than ever and are looking for ways to add spice to their life.
Bingo! I did a google search and found an article in Forbes magazine about the explosion of this industry (http://www.forbes.com/sites/janetwburns/2016/07/15/adult-expo-founders-talk-15b-sex-toy-industry-after-20-years-in-the-fray/#162991e638a1). Apparently, sex toys used to be sold to men in addition to their videos in adult novelty shops. Thanks to Sex and the City and Fifty Shades of Grey, women are more bold in expressing their desire for additional stimulation and novelty.
Some of the innovations in this field include pretty packaging that appeals to women, as well as pink and purple coloured toys, waterproof products to help with cleaning and usage at bath time, better textures so it feels like real skin and, access to a huge inventory via the internet. Using social media has helped this industry reach people they couldn't market to through traditional advertising. Technology helps women charge their equipment with a USB cable and empowers women with a stronger motor and more choices as far as the sensations they want; vibrate, pulse, tap etc.
In this article, they look toward the future and suggest that we might be able to purchase products with a memory which means it will do what you want in whatever sequence you'd like and remember these preferences for future use. There was also talk of remote control technology so you can stimulate your partner from a distance.Vin and I had a good laugh about this one, speculating the many ways we could use this to torture each other (in a positive way).
Not only is this a growing industry, "it stands as a $15 billion market segment, with projections that it will surpass $50 billion by 2020” but it also a generous industry donating millions to charities such as CalExotic's partnership "with the nonprofit organization Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) to create Inspire. Inspire is a collection of female-centric products whose sales benefit LBBC."
I have heard of sex toy parties and when I googled this I found that there are many companies offering this service. I was never invited to any of these parties but I imagined candid conversations, bottles of wine and giggling. I am glad that I live at a time where women can be empowered to express their healthy sexuality with a partner or on their own. It's about time!
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Monday, 7 November 2016
Healing Frequencies
November 7th, 2016
Ok. I'm no science geek but, lately, I have found three areas of interest converging in my life.
1) I posted about the innovative treatments for concussions using light, sound, electrical stimulation and movement last week.
2) I also posted about the annoying presence of lice in our schools. After my daughters were contaminated at a sleepover this summer, I went Rambo on the beasties. I still check them every week, much to their chagrin and, as soon as they scratch their head, I am up and over them, scrutinizing their scalps. In short, I think I've lost my mind. They would agree. I hated those lice so much and I never want to go through that experience again.
3) Ever since I met with cancer survivors and interviewed them for the paper, I have been investigating alternative treatments. I watched, The Truth About Cancer and read about the use of marijuana, herbs, teas, energy therapies, oxygen therapy and essential oils.
So, the other day, my husband and I were driving to lunch and he laughed at my obsession with lice. I had recently watched The Nature of Things's special on concussion treatments. My husband and I were fantasizing about ways to kill lice. We imagined a hot cap that was safe for children but too hot for lice. He's a hairstylist and they have warm caps to help set hair dye so, the caps already exist, they just need to be warmer. Then we imagined a vacuum that would suction out the lice and nits. You'd just comb through and part the hair then suction the buggers out. My husband suggested that if we ate certain foods, it may make our blood taste bad to lice and they wouldn't attach to our scalps. Then, of course, is the solution of applying a substance to the scalp that the lice hate (like tea tree) so they would not attach to it. We eventually reached our destination and our conversation headed in a different direction.
That night, I had an idea while I slept. What if we could use a vibration to kill the lice? I shared this idea with my husband at breakfast. I said we could kill lice with a frequency. He was thinking that I meant a colour frequency. That may also be an approach, but I was talking about sound. I looked it up and found research done by Royal Raymon Rife in the 1930s. He was studying bacteria and disease. He found that a diseased cell had a different frequency from a healthy cell. He measured the frequency of diseased cells and found that he could cure just about any illness by changing its frequency or augmenting its frequency until it exploded. Here's the neat thing about it, the frequency would not harm any other cell because they are not vibrating at the same frequency.
Rife created a device to administer the correct frequency for various ailments, including cancer. There is a list of all the wealthy people who tried to buy this technology from Rife. In the end, his research and his inventions were suppressed. There is no money to be made in curing illnesses. Chronic and terminal illnesses generate so much money through pharmaceuticals.
If you visit this website, http://altered-states.net, you will see the frequencies that were documented for each organ in the body. Rife also identified the frequencies of diseases and catalogued them. His electrical devices which tune into the correct frequency and treat the diseased cells are still available for purchase today, long after his death. This is fascinating! I would love to find the lice frequency and treat every child in the school to obliterate those little buggers (the lice) once and for all.
For more information on the use of frequencies to heal the body, go to http://altered-states.net/barry/newsletter420/
Ok. I'm no science geek but, lately, I have found three areas of interest converging in my life.
1) I posted about the innovative treatments for concussions using light, sound, electrical stimulation and movement last week.
2) I also posted about the annoying presence of lice in our schools. After my daughters were contaminated at a sleepover this summer, I went Rambo on the beasties. I still check them every week, much to their chagrin and, as soon as they scratch their head, I am up and over them, scrutinizing their scalps. In short, I think I've lost my mind. They would agree. I hated those lice so much and I never want to go through that experience again.
3) Ever since I met with cancer survivors and interviewed them for the paper, I have been investigating alternative treatments. I watched, The Truth About Cancer and read about the use of marijuana, herbs, teas, energy therapies, oxygen therapy and essential oils.
So, the other day, my husband and I were driving to lunch and he laughed at my obsession with lice. I had recently watched The Nature of Things's special on concussion treatments. My husband and I were fantasizing about ways to kill lice. We imagined a hot cap that was safe for children but too hot for lice. He's a hairstylist and they have warm caps to help set hair dye so, the caps already exist, they just need to be warmer. Then we imagined a vacuum that would suction out the lice and nits. You'd just comb through and part the hair then suction the buggers out. My husband suggested that if we ate certain foods, it may make our blood taste bad to lice and they wouldn't attach to our scalps. Then, of course, is the solution of applying a substance to the scalp that the lice hate (like tea tree) so they would not attach to it. We eventually reached our destination and our conversation headed in a different direction.
That night, I had an idea while I slept. What if we could use a vibration to kill the lice? I shared this idea with my husband at breakfast. I said we could kill lice with a frequency. He was thinking that I meant a colour frequency. That may also be an approach, but I was talking about sound. I looked it up and found research done by Royal Raymon Rife in the 1930s. He was studying bacteria and disease. He found that a diseased cell had a different frequency from a healthy cell. He measured the frequency of diseased cells and found that he could cure just about any illness by changing its frequency or augmenting its frequency until it exploded. Here's the neat thing about it, the frequency would not harm any other cell because they are not vibrating at the same frequency.
Rife created a device to administer the correct frequency for various ailments, including cancer. There is a list of all the wealthy people who tried to buy this technology from Rife. In the end, his research and his inventions were suppressed. There is no money to be made in curing illnesses. Chronic and terminal illnesses generate so much money through pharmaceuticals.
If you visit this website, http://altered-states.net, you will see the frequencies that were documented for each organ in the body. Rife also identified the frequencies of diseases and catalogued them. His electrical devices which tune into the correct frequency and treat the diseased cells are still available for purchase today, long after his death. This is fascinating! I would love to find the lice frequency and treat every child in the school to obliterate those little buggers (the lice) once and for all.
For more information on the use of frequencies to heal the body, go to http://altered-states.net/barry/newsletter420/
Friday, 4 November 2016
The mother of all stories; local author seeks moms willing to contribute to book
November 4th, 2016
Jennifer Westendorp from The Kemptville Advance, wrote this article about my book in order to get more moms to step forward and share their stories. Thank you Jennifer! If you know any mother who would like to share her story, please send her my way.
http://www.insideottawavalley.com/community-story/6945860-the-mother-of-all-stories-local-author-seeks-moms-willing-to-contribute-to-book/
The mother of all stories; local author seeks moms willing to contribute to book
Every mother has a story to tell; of love, heartbreak, exclusion, judgement, friendship, frustration, pure joy, insomnia or guilt. Mothers have been through it all.
Local author and art therapist Anne Walsh has set out on a mission to gather these stories and compile them into a book all mothers can relate to.
And she wants your help.
“I am writing a book called Mommy Monologues, which is basically a book about motherhood,” explained Walsh.
Working as an art therapist has shown here that often mothers feel alone.
“Mommy’s have monologues running through their heads; I didn’t make it to an activity at my child’s school, I wasn’t there for them, I didn’t get this done, my child doesn’t have their boots on like everyone else, they left without mittens.”
Motherhood has become a competitive sport, said Walsh.
“Where there is competition, there is no vulnerability, so people don’t see you need support. Meanwhile, people are struggling and nobody knows.”
The goal of the book is to break through the barrier of taboo; to show struggling doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.
“I want to show the variety of mommy monologues,” said Walsh. “To show moms they are not alone.”
When you think about motherhood, you see images of the ‘soccer mom’ or ‘working mom,’ she explained.
“There are so many more varieties out there; moms who adopted, moms who are gay, moms with addiction issues, moms with mental health issues or who have kids with mental health issues. There are all these different types of moms out there with no community. All they see are moms who are able-bodied and not struggling, so they feel isolated.”
“What I want to do is interview all these moms,” she continued. “I am looking for moms from all walks of life. I want to hear it all. My goal is for every mother to be able to pick up this book and be able to find her story.”
Walsh, who has interviewed 10 moms so far, hopes to include stories from about 100.
“I’ve talked to many moms about this and a lot of them say ‘oh, you wouldn’t want my story in your book.’ They don’t feel like they are good enough to be included. I want to honour all stories by putting them in the book. No story is insignificant.”
If you are interested in sharing your story with Walsh, email her directly at artnsoul@ripnet.com or send her a message on Facebook. People who participate do not have to use their real name in the book.
Jennifer Westendorp is the reporter for the Kemptville Advance. She studied journalism-print at Algonquin College. Her interests include reading, writing and being outdoors.
Jennifer Westendorp from The Kemptville Advance, wrote this article about my book in order to get more moms to step forward and share their stories. Thank you Jennifer! If you know any mother who would like to share her story, please send her my way.
http://www.insideottawavalley.com/community-story/6945860-the-mother-of-all-stories-local-author-seeks-moms-willing-to-contribute-to-book/
The mother of all stories; local author seeks moms willing to contribute to book
Every mother has a story to tell; of love, heartbreak, exclusion, judgement, friendship, frustration, pure joy, insomnia or guilt. Mothers have been through it all.
Local author and art therapist Anne Walsh has set out on a mission to gather these stories and compile them into a book all mothers can relate to.
And she wants your help.
“I am writing a book called Mommy Monologues, which is basically a book about motherhood,” explained Walsh.
Working as an art therapist has shown here that often mothers feel alone.
“Mommy’s have monologues running through their heads; I didn’t make it to an activity at my child’s school, I wasn’t there for them, I didn’t get this done, my child doesn’t have their boots on like everyone else, they left without mittens.”
Motherhood has become a competitive sport, said Walsh.
“Where there is competition, there is no vulnerability, so people don’t see you need support. Meanwhile, people are struggling and nobody knows.”
The goal of the book is to break through the barrier of taboo; to show struggling doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom.
“I want to show the variety of mommy monologues,” said Walsh. “To show moms they are not alone.”
When you think about motherhood, you see images of the ‘soccer mom’ or ‘working mom,’ she explained.
“There are so many more varieties out there; moms who adopted, moms who are gay, moms with addiction issues, moms with mental health issues or who have kids with mental health issues. There are all these different types of moms out there with no community. All they see are moms who are able-bodied and not struggling, so they feel isolated.”
“What I want to do is interview all these moms,” she continued. “I am looking for moms from all walks of life. I want to hear it all. My goal is for every mother to be able to pick up this book and be able to find her story.”
Walsh, who has interviewed 10 moms so far, hopes to include stories from about 100.
“I’ve talked to many moms about this and a lot of them say ‘oh, you wouldn’t want my story in your book.’ They don’t feel like they are good enough to be included. I want to honour all stories by putting them in the book. No story is insignificant.”
If you are interested in sharing your story with Walsh, email her directly at artnsoul@ripnet.com or send her a message on Facebook. People who participate do not have to use their real name in the book.
Jennifer Westendorp is the reporter for the Kemptville Advance. She studied journalism-print at Algonquin College. Her interests include reading, writing and being outdoors.
Thursday, 3 November 2016
Halloween and our Sense of Community
November 3rd, 2016
On Monday, like every other parent, we took our children trick or treating. They got dressed up, applied their face make-up and grabbed a pillow case. We visited our friends' houses first then we headed out to the homes of strangers.
As the children walked from door to door, we bumped into people we know from the community. I got to meet the children of some adults I know through business. The girls got to meet the parents of children they know from school or gymnastics.
As the girls collected candy, we listened to make sure they said thank you. We watched them interacting with adults of all ages and abilities. They pet dogs and cats, talked about their costumes and asked some adults who were dressed-up what they were dressed as.
There is a festive mood in the air as children and their parents walk freely through the streets, enjoying the experience, showing off their costumes, gathering candy like gold and meeting the neighbours.
Recently, when I attended Sources of Strength training, we talked about the resilience of people in Latin America. Two of the factors responsible for this resilience are 1) a sense of belonging to their community and, 2) close ties to their family.
My husband and I are lucky. We get to work from home. This means we spend more time with our children than most people. I was thinking about occasions like Halloween when we get to connect with our community. I like taking the girls to Canada Day celebrations, Pirate Day, Ribfest, the Santa Parade and other local celebrations. We meet local business owners and bump into acquaintances and friends from the community. Going to Gymnastics each week is also an opportunity to get to know other families. We have a Summer Bash every year where we invite the girls' friends and their families. They spend most of the evening in the pool but we get to mingle with parents and expand our circle of friendships.
I believe we would be stronger as a community and as families if there were more opportunities to socialize like block parties, BBQs, game nights and family days. We have many empty buildings in this community. They could be transformed into indoor pools, movie theatres and games areas. I feel safer living in a connected community where my children and I know the names of our neighbours. Don't you?
On Monday, like every other parent, we took our children trick or treating. They got dressed up, applied their face make-up and grabbed a pillow case. We visited our friends' houses first then we headed out to the homes of strangers.
As the children walked from door to door, we bumped into people we know from the community. I got to meet the children of some adults I know through business. The girls got to meet the parents of children they know from school or gymnastics.
As the girls collected candy, we listened to make sure they said thank you. We watched them interacting with adults of all ages and abilities. They pet dogs and cats, talked about their costumes and asked some adults who were dressed-up what they were dressed as.
There is a festive mood in the air as children and their parents walk freely through the streets, enjoying the experience, showing off their costumes, gathering candy like gold and meeting the neighbours.
Recently, when I attended Sources of Strength training, we talked about the resilience of people in Latin America. Two of the factors responsible for this resilience are 1) a sense of belonging to their community and, 2) close ties to their family.
My husband and I are lucky. We get to work from home. This means we spend more time with our children than most people. I was thinking about occasions like Halloween when we get to connect with our community. I like taking the girls to Canada Day celebrations, Pirate Day, Ribfest, the Santa Parade and other local celebrations. We meet local business owners and bump into acquaintances and friends from the community. Going to Gymnastics each week is also an opportunity to get to know other families. We have a Summer Bash every year where we invite the girls' friends and their families. They spend most of the evening in the pool but we get to mingle with parents and expand our circle of friendships.
I believe we would be stronger as a community and as families if there were more opportunities to socialize like block parties, BBQs, game nights and family days. We have many empty buildings in this community. They could be transformed into indoor pools, movie theatres and games areas. I feel safer living in a connected community where my children and I know the names of our neighbours. Don't you?
Wednesday, 2 November 2016
The Illusion of Choice
November 2nd, 2016
I think most of us would agree that we live in a democratic country and that we enjoy the freedom to dictate how our lives will be. We choose what we want to be "when we grow up" and where we want to live. We choose when to have sex and with whom. We now get to decide when we'd like to get married and whether or not we want to have children. We get to raise those children according to our values; breastfeed, bottle feed, take a year of maternity leave, go back to work, send our children to catholic school, pubic school, private school or, homeschool.
However, in many ways, we have very little control on a daily basis. The first thing that comes to mind is the election in the USA. Yes, people can choose between Clinton and Trump but neither of those candidates are particularly endearing. What if you don't like either candidate? You still have to vote for one of those two otherwise you are letting others decide for you who will run the country. Either way, it's going to be one of those two, you have no other choices.
Closer to home, a very cold season is approaching. Hydro is charging us way too much money to heat our homes but what are our options? Do we have alternatives? If you have loads of money, you can get solar panels or wind mills but these cost a lot of money and in this climate, they don't give you the reliability you need to keep your family cozy throughout this very long season. Therefore, you still need Hydro to a certain extent.
Want to watch television? There are hundreds of channels so you feel pretty lucky right? Why is it that you spend so much time channel surfing without finding the content you want to watch? You have a bunch of channels that are replicated and they offer you programming, perhaps what you want to watch, maybe not. If you call the cable company to inquire about your favourite program, you may find out that you need to pay for an add-on or that it's only available in the USA.
When tax time comes along, we all complain about the amount of our income that is snatched up by the government. Can we do anything about it? If you know are an accountant and you know the loopholes, you may save some money but the fact of the matter is, you keep working harder and the more you make, the more you lose in taxation. I recall looking at my pay stub as a college professor. I thought I was making a great income but it turns out I wasn't making much more than I did when I was a student. By the time, my benefits and pension were removed, I factored in the tax deductions, union fees and the cost of having my job, babysitter, parking, lunches etc.. and I realized that I was keeping very little of my hard earned money.
Living in a rural area means that you have less choice where to shop. I was looking for boots for my daughters. I had to drive into town to buy their boots because I couldn't get anything that fit my 8 year old in town. When I go out to supper with my husband, there aren't too many restaurants to choose from. We either drive out to Manotick or Merrickville or we stay in town and eat pub food.
We are praised for our health care system but many of the alternative services or products are not covered by insurance so if I choose to take fish oil for brain health I absorb the cost. If I use a chemical pill for the same purpose it will be covered. On the few occasions that I have called my doctor's office for an appointment when one of my daughters had an ear infection, they told me they had no appointments left for that day. They can't book me in for the next day, I have to call again the next morning to see if they can fit us in. When your child is in pain, you can't try to get in three days in a row, especially if the ear infection occurs on a Friday. You end up in the emergency room.
If your car breaks down and you take it in to the garage, chances are it won't be an easy, cheap fix. The cost of parts is often more expensive than the cost of labour. However, you pay for it because you need to get to work and there are no buses out here to go for groceries or take your kids to karate class or whatever else you need to do.
As I write, I am thinking to myself, Holy Anne, you are such a downer on this beautiful, sunny day. The reason I am writing about this is because I have had a few experiences lately that indicate to me that we may have more choices than we realize. We are generally a pretty passive people, we expect the status quo but we may not have to. It requires effort to research our options but it pays off big time.
Politically, we can do our homework and figure out what each candidate stands for, we can get involved and push for changes. We can be an instrument to raise awareness about important issues. Hydro is powerful because we have not reached the point where enough people can afford an alternative. I read about a company in Ottawa that sells and installs solar blinds, less expensive than panels but paired with a wood burning stove, geothermal system and energy efficient home, it may considerably affect our expenses. Check out www.krumperssolarsolutions.ca.
My husband and I visited a friend who has a Smart Tv box that plugs directly into the HDMI feed and streams television shows and movies from all over the world, way more choices than we get from our cable and, we are told, it only has a once in a lifetime cost. My husband was quite smitten with this system and found old movies and programs he wasn't able to find. It even had his mom's British shows available for when she comes over for her next visit. I think I know what will be on his Christmas list.
Using an informed, competent accountant who can help you make important decisions about where to invest your money all year, can make a huge difference when tax time rolls around. There may be tax credits that you are entitled to and that you don't know about. A good accountant knows and can guide you through this stressful process. When it comes to dining options, we need to support local talent when we find it. Had a great meal, discovered a gem of a restaurant? Tell everyone, use social media to spread the word so these businesses can be busy and stay busy. Comfort was an awesome restaurant with delicious food and a warm atmosphere but it shut down because it wasn't making enough money to sustain it, very sad.
Investing in your health, using alternative services, raising awareness about their effectiveness and recommending them to others is the best way to promote them and get them, eventually recognized by the powers that be. Massage therapists used to be one of those services not covered by insurance. Now they are. Also, when your mechanic gives you a quote re: the cost of fixing your car, ask for details about the piece that needs to be ordered. Look online for that piece and you'd be surprised how often you can order that exact piece, for half the price. You have just cut down the cost, more money in your pocket. We have more choices than we realize. The more we question and investigate, the more options open up for us.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
I think most of us would agree that we live in a democratic country and that we enjoy the freedom to dictate how our lives will be. We choose what we want to be "when we grow up" and where we want to live. We choose when to have sex and with whom. We now get to decide when we'd like to get married and whether or not we want to have children. We get to raise those children according to our values; breastfeed, bottle feed, take a year of maternity leave, go back to work, send our children to catholic school, pubic school, private school or, homeschool.
However, in many ways, we have very little control on a daily basis. The first thing that comes to mind is the election in the USA. Yes, people can choose between Clinton and Trump but neither of those candidates are particularly endearing. What if you don't like either candidate? You still have to vote for one of those two otherwise you are letting others decide for you who will run the country. Either way, it's going to be one of those two, you have no other choices.
Closer to home, a very cold season is approaching. Hydro is charging us way too much money to heat our homes but what are our options? Do we have alternatives? If you have loads of money, you can get solar panels or wind mills but these cost a lot of money and in this climate, they don't give you the reliability you need to keep your family cozy throughout this very long season. Therefore, you still need Hydro to a certain extent.
Want to watch television? There are hundreds of channels so you feel pretty lucky right? Why is it that you spend so much time channel surfing without finding the content you want to watch? You have a bunch of channels that are replicated and they offer you programming, perhaps what you want to watch, maybe not. If you call the cable company to inquire about your favourite program, you may find out that you need to pay for an add-on or that it's only available in the USA.
When tax time comes along, we all complain about the amount of our income that is snatched up by the government. Can we do anything about it? If you know are an accountant and you know the loopholes, you may save some money but the fact of the matter is, you keep working harder and the more you make, the more you lose in taxation. I recall looking at my pay stub as a college professor. I thought I was making a great income but it turns out I wasn't making much more than I did when I was a student. By the time, my benefits and pension were removed, I factored in the tax deductions, union fees and the cost of having my job, babysitter, parking, lunches etc.. and I realized that I was keeping very little of my hard earned money.
Living in a rural area means that you have less choice where to shop. I was looking for boots for my daughters. I had to drive into town to buy their boots because I couldn't get anything that fit my 8 year old in town. When I go out to supper with my husband, there aren't too many restaurants to choose from. We either drive out to Manotick or Merrickville or we stay in town and eat pub food.
We are praised for our health care system but many of the alternative services or products are not covered by insurance so if I choose to take fish oil for brain health I absorb the cost. If I use a chemical pill for the same purpose it will be covered. On the few occasions that I have called my doctor's office for an appointment when one of my daughters had an ear infection, they told me they had no appointments left for that day. They can't book me in for the next day, I have to call again the next morning to see if they can fit us in. When your child is in pain, you can't try to get in three days in a row, especially if the ear infection occurs on a Friday. You end up in the emergency room.
If your car breaks down and you take it in to the garage, chances are it won't be an easy, cheap fix. The cost of parts is often more expensive than the cost of labour. However, you pay for it because you need to get to work and there are no buses out here to go for groceries or take your kids to karate class or whatever else you need to do.
As I write, I am thinking to myself, Holy Anne, you are such a downer on this beautiful, sunny day. The reason I am writing about this is because I have had a few experiences lately that indicate to me that we may have more choices than we realize. We are generally a pretty passive people, we expect the status quo but we may not have to. It requires effort to research our options but it pays off big time.
Politically, we can do our homework and figure out what each candidate stands for, we can get involved and push for changes. We can be an instrument to raise awareness about important issues. Hydro is powerful because we have not reached the point where enough people can afford an alternative. I read about a company in Ottawa that sells and installs solar blinds, less expensive than panels but paired with a wood burning stove, geothermal system and energy efficient home, it may considerably affect our expenses. Check out www.krumperssolarsolutions.ca.
My husband and I visited a friend who has a Smart Tv box that plugs directly into the HDMI feed and streams television shows and movies from all over the world, way more choices than we get from our cable and, we are told, it only has a once in a lifetime cost. My husband was quite smitten with this system and found old movies and programs he wasn't able to find. It even had his mom's British shows available for when she comes over for her next visit. I think I know what will be on his Christmas list.
Using an informed, competent accountant who can help you make important decisions about where to invest your money all year, can make a huge difference when tax time rolls around. There may be tax credits that you are entitled to and that you don't know about. A good accountant knows and can guide you through this stressful process. When it comes to dining options, we need to support local talent when we find it. Had a great meal, discovered a gem of a restaurant? Tell everyone, use social media to spread the word so these businesses can be busy and stay busy. Comfort was an awesome restaurant with delicious food and a warm atmosphere but it shut down because it wasn't making enough money to sustain it, very sad.
Investing in your health, using alternative services, raising awareness about their effectiveness and recommending them to others is the best way to promote them and get them, eventually recognized by the powers that be. Massage therapists used to be one of those services not covered by insurance. Now they are. Also, when your mechanic gives you a quote re: the cost of fixing your car, ask for details about the piece that needs to be ordered. Look online for that piece and you'd be surprised how often you can order that exact piece, for half the price. You have just cut down the cost, more money in your pocket. We have more choices than we realize. The more we question and investigate, the more options open up for us.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
Tuesday, 1 November 2016
Positive Changes Through Empowering Beliefs
November 1st, 2016
A few weeks ago, I saw a trailer for E-Motion, a documentary. It reveals how our emotions can make us sick. If we hang onto our emotions, they hold us back from realizing our full potential as human beings. We may repeat old patterns in our new relationships, sabotage promising career opportunities or fill our pantry with junk food when our intention was to fill our refrigerator with healthy produce. When we experience a strong negative experience or trauma, our emotions are stored in our body, locked in there until we learn to release them. Our bodies are therefore stuck in the past, convinced that we are still living under the same circumstances when we know consciously that we have moved on, that we are safe and that we can choose to live better lives.
I wasn't able to download the movie but I did check out one of the professionals featured in this documentary, Joe Dispenza. He has published a book titled, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I discovered that he was a speaker on Ted Talks and I was able to listen to his speech. He explains that we have three brains; a thinking brain (our neocortex), a doing brain (the limbic system) and, a being brain (the cerebellum).
As we have experiences, meet new people, read books and listen to public speakers, our thinking brain creates new connections. Over time we learn something, our brain changes. The nerve cells that fire together as we process new information, form a network. These cells create a pattern of reactions. This new information will change your behaviour. Your five senses will process this new experience and release chemicals, attaching an emotion to it. We all do this in January when we start off the new year with great intentions. We promise to drink more water, eat lots of fruit and veggies and hit the gym three days a week. What happens?
When we are stressed, our bodies are out of balance. Our bodies believe our thoughts and more chemicals are released. Our bodies don't know if our thoughts are reflecting reality or not. "When we turn on the stress response and are unable to turn it off, we're headed for disease" says Dispenza.
Dispenza described a process called metacognition. This is what happens during mindful meditation. We are aware of our behaviour, observing it with detachment. This allows us to gain awareness and perceive what behaviours need to be modified if we are to live fuller lives. In order to change our behaviours and make better choices, we must silence old circuits, disband neural connections and create new ones.
As you change your patterns of thinking, the image you hold in your mind about your life, your relationships and your work is changed as are your intentions. When you introduce new connections, the old patterns will be threatened and attempt to sabotage these new links creating doubt in your mind with negative self-talk. However, if you consistently make choices and act according to the newer connections, the bond between neurones will strengthen and the old connections will dissolve. This requires much repetition. These new behaviours will set off positive chemicals leading to a sense of well-being. Once these new patterns become innate, they are integrated into your self-concept. They become a part of who you are.
Let's apply this. Pick an area of your life that is stressful; a relationship, your work or something about your self-image. In the centre of a page, write down the stressful relationship, thought or situation. Draw lines stemming from the centre, extending outward and at the end of each line, write a belief that is attached to this source of stress. Link situations from your past that may have contributed to the creation of these beliefs. Were you teased as a child? Did you feel rejected, like an outsider? Do you avoid meeting new people in order to protect yourself from rejection and pain? Once you recall a few situations that were painful and that shaped your negative beliefs about yourself, get very still and ask yourself where this experience is stored in your body. When you can visualize the wound, breathe through it and release it. You may need to cry or yell, breathe deeply many times, punch a pillow, paint a body outline and fill it with soothing colours, create a vision board of how your life would change if you surrendered this belief or talk it though with a trusted friend or therapist. Next step is my favourite, you decide what beliefs will replace the outdated ones. You support these beliefs with proof. Explore your life and come up with as much proof as possible that these new beliefs are valid. If this is challenging, ask a friend to help. Then, act as if you were a different person with empowering beliefs. As you act in ways that support your new self-image, it will become natural. You may need to fake it at first but you will eventually be living this new reality.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
A few weeks ago, I saw a trailer for E-Motion, a documentary. It reveals how our emotions can make us sick. If we hang onto our emotions, they hold us back from realizing our full potential as human beings. We may repeat old patterns in our new relationships, sabotage promising career opportunities or fill our pantry with junk food when our intention was to fill our refrigerator with healthy produce. When we experience a strong negative experience or trauma, our emotions are stored in our body, locked in there until we learn to release them. Our bodies are therefore stuck in the past, convinced that we are still living under the same circumstances when we know consciously that we have moved on, that we are safe and that we can choose to live better lives.
I wasn't able to download the movie but I did check out one of the professionals featured in this documentary, Joe Dispenza. He has published a book titled, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I discovered that he was a speaker on Ted Talks and I was able to listen to his speech. He explains that we have three brains; a thinking brain (our neocortex), a doing brain (the limbic system) and, a being brain (the cerebellum).
As we have experiences, meet new people, read books and listen to public speakers, our thinking brain creates new connections. Over time we learn something, our brain changes. The nerve cells that fire together as we process new information, form a network. These cells create a pattern of reactions. This new information will change your behaviour. Your five senses will process this new experience and release chemicals, attaching an emotion to it. We all do this in January when we start off the new year with great intentions. We promise to drink more water, eat lots of fruit and veggies and hit the gym three days a week. What happens?
When we are stressed, our bodies are out of balance. Our bodies believe our thoughts and more chemicals are released. Our bodies don't know if our thoughts are reflecting reality or not. "When we turn on the stress response and are unable to turn it off, we're headed for disease" says Dispenza.
Dispenza described a process called metacognition. This is what happens during mindful meditation. We are aware of our behaviour, observing it with detachment. This allows us to gain awareness and perceive what behaviours need to be modified if we are to live fuller lives. In order to change our behaviours and make better choices, we must silence old circuits, disband neural connections and create new ones.
As you change your patterns of thinking, the image you hold in your mind about your life, your relationships and your work is changed as are your intentions. When you introduce new connections, the old patterns will be threatened and attempt to sabotage these new links creating doubt in your mind with negative self-talk. However, if you consistently make choices and act according to the newer connections, the bond between neurones will strengthen and the old connections will dissolve. This requires much repetition. These new behaviours will set off positive chemicals leading to a sense of well-being. Once these new patterns become innate, they are integrated into your self-concept. They become a part of who you are.
Let's apply this. Pick an area of your life that is stressful; a relationship, your work or something about your self-image. In the centre of a page, write down the stressful relationship, thought or situation. Draw lines stemming from the centre, extending outward and at the end of each line, write a belief that is attached to this source of stress. Link situations from your past that may have contributed to the creation of these beliefs. Were you teased as a child? Did you feel rejected, like an outsider? Do you avoid meeting new people in order to protect yourself from rejection and pain? Once you recall a few situations that were painful and that shaped your negative beliefs about yourself, get very still and ask yourself where this experience is stored in your body. When you can visualize the wound, breathe through it and release it. You may need to cry or yell, breathe deeply many times, punch a pillow, paint a body outline and fill it with soothing colours, create a vision board of how your life would change if you surrendered this belief or talk it though with a trusted friend or therapist. Next step is my favourite, you decide what beliefs will replace the outdated ones. You support these beliefs with proof. Explore your life and come up with as much proof as possible that these new beliefs are valid. If this is challenging, ask a friend to help. Then, act as if you were a different person with empowering beliefs. As you act in ways that support your new self-image, it will become natural. You may need to fake it at first but you will eventually be living this new reality.
Anne Walsh
www.artnsoul.org
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